Chapter 23 #2
A fire is already crackling in the hearth when I open the door, and I sigh at the warmth of the room.
I toss our cloaks into the corner and nearly collapse where I stand from exhaustion.
I don’t even care that I’ll have to sleep naked, since I was unable to get new clothes. I’ll wash ours and hang them to dry.
A knock sounds on the door, and I collect the items from a worker, thanking them. I waste no time undressing, kicking off my boots and shimmying out of my pants and underwear. I tug my charred top off, discarding it at my feet.
I enter the bathing chamber, putting the supplies on the stool next to the bath. The tub is large enough for two, but I’m not sharing—not yet.
Ugh. I roll my eyes at myself. What have these trials done to me? I shake the thought from my head and focus on myself.
Leaning over the copper tub, I pull the lever to release the water.
I rinse my hands under the cool stream, waiting for it to warm.
When it does, I get in and let the water run over my body, carrying away the ash and sand still stuck to me.
I plug the bottom and grab a handful of salts, dropping them into the water as I absentmindedly watch it rise.
When it’s close to the top, I turn it off and submerge myself.
Oh my word. This is what I needed.
Tension uncoils from my shoulders, and the aches throughout my body ease as the minerals from the salts soak into my skin. Rising, I wipe my face, then lean my head against the metal and close my eyes. I could stay in here all night.
The door handle turns, almost soundlessly. The door sweeps against the floor with a soft scrape before clicking shut, the lock sliding into place.
“A goddess in the flesh,” Mikael says, leaning against the door to the bathing chamber, his voice full of reverence. “A female that should be worshipped.”
I open my eyes, meeting his gaze. His gray eyes hold a host of emotions. Pain, desire, love. He unbuttons his vest and takes off his tunic, discarding both on top of our cloaks. “You should have shut the door if you wanted privacy.”
“I was too exhausted to care.” It’s the truth, and I always come back to the fact that there isn’t anything he hasn’t already seen.
He hesitantly walks toward me.
I don’t tell him to stop, to turn away or leave.
Picking up the soap and sponge, he dips them into the water. “Let me care for you.”
It’s almost a plea, an offering. How can I refuse, knowing he’s wanted nothing but to have me at his side for two hundred years? He lived in anguish, while I withered away in pain and anger.
I nod, and he pulls a chair up to the edge of the tub. I close my eyes again, enjoying the weightlessness of the water.
A sponge caresses my shoulder, soft yet firm, as he moves it up my neck, over my collarbone, and then to my other shoulder. At his touch, my insides spark to life, hyperaware of his fingers lifting my left arm.
Keep your breath steady.
I pull in a deep breath through my nostrils as he tenderly and slowly, moves the sponge down the length of my arm before transitioning to my leg. He repeats the process on my other side.
Don’t let this turn you on.
Focus on the sponge that is wiping away the filth from the last trial.
…the trial.
His confession.
I have to face it; reconcile the truth I’ve lived with for centuries with reality. It’s going to take more than this moment, more than a day.
I have no idea how to reconcile.
How to stop being the person I became after his betrayal, intentional or not. How to reclaim who I was before making the bargain.
It’s been long enough since then, that I know that part of my core self has been altered.
When he’s done, Mikael presses the sponge into my hand. I finally lift my lids, and he smiles so softly, it almost shatters my heart in undeniable pity for the man I loved.
“I’m sorry I never considered you weren’t in control of your actions,” I say.
“There is nothing to be sorry for.” He lathers soap against my hair, then massages my head.
I lean into his touch, the gentle massaging of his fingertips against my scalp. “I hated you for two hundred years. I couldn’t see past the pain.”
“Dip yourself under the water,” he instructs.
I oblige, rinsing the soap from my hair. Brushing it away from my face, I turn and lean against the tub, elbows and forearms on the edge.
Before I can say anything, he continues.
“I am the one that’s sorry. You made a bargain with the Fates to end what I could not. I tried to stop the war, but I was compelled. I had no control.” Mikael leans back against the chair, wiping his hands off with a towel.
“Yes, you mentioned this word to the dragon. I’ve never heard you speak of it before. Compelled?” I ask, brows knitting together.
“Compulsion is not known to anyone outside the vampire kind.” He pauses, then shakes his head with a slight smile.
“What is it?” I rest my chin against my arm, watching his face morph.
“I shouldn’t be able to tell you, but the dragon’s magic broke its hold.
” He smiles, then leans down and kisses my forehead.
“It’s only something a king, an old and powerful vampire can do; a gift granted to them through whatever magic originally created us.
A way to protect, but also control other vampires.
Compulsion doesn’t end with the vampire’s death who enacted it.
Eventually it would have faded, but it hadn’t been long enough to tell you the truth on my own. ”
“But you killed King Ignatus?” I ask.
“Yes.” Anger flares within his eyes, but it quickly subsides. He leans back, his abs flexing with the movement. “It wasn’t enough to forbid me from having anything to do with you. He was a jealous king, and wanted you for himself, only because you were already mine.”
“Me?” I question incredulously.
“Yes, he was envious of what we had, and angry at what he lost. He realized that even through his compulsion and meddling, I wouldn’t let you go.
I realize now that he spent all those years searching for the amulet, knowing it was cursed, and that the result of my stealing it would mean your death.
If he couldn’t have what he wanted, I couldn’t have what I wanted either.
Only after he had me steal it did I find out about the curse. ”
Mikael pauses, sucking in a ragged breath. “My rage that had been simmering under the surface was finally unleashed. After I separated his head from his body, I left to find you.”
“Is that why the vampires are after you?”
“Yes. I don’t know how those four found me, but there may be more.”
“Great. We still have to break this curse, and vampires may be waiting around a corner to ambush us. We also have to avoid revealing you’re a vampire while in Eidrfall.
And stay away from the royal guards and my father.
Anything else?” I turn around, slinking back beneath the room-temperature water, and stare at the wooden ceiling.
He leans over and kisses my forehead. “No, my love, I think that covers it.”
“Too soon, but nice try.” I chuckle, a smile lifting the corner of my lips. I’m trying to let go of the past, the feelings I’ve harbored for so long, but a battle is raging within me. I can’t deny that, deep down, I know I still love this man, love what we had.
I hold out my hand toward the pile of towels.
“I’ve been waiting too long not to try.” Mikael says as he hands one to me, then rises and turns around.
The truth of the past being revealed has once again rocked my world; a rug pulled from underneath me. I still need time to process, and rediscover myself.
I pull the drain and step out of the bath, wrapping the soft material around my body. When the tub is empty, I plug and refill it. “Your turn.”
“At your command.” He unbuckles his pants and slowly removes his clothing. He bares his naked form, sauntering over to the tub.
I do my best to stare without displaying any emotion. Keeping my mind off how perfectly sculpted his body is.
Damn.
I hate him.
He’ll hear my heartbeat. Know I’m aroused, if I don’t do something other than think about how much I would like to fuck him again.
Fates. How can I be so finicky?
Okay. Other thoughts.
Bryn, you’re dying. Your father will kill you if he finds out. You have ledgers to balance when you get back to Varithen.
Water sloshes as he gets in, spilling over the edges, his body taking up more space than mine did. I really shouldn’t be rubbing his naked form with a sponge.
Can I do this without giving away my desire?
I can no longer simply rely on the hate that once filled my heart. Which is unfortunate, because it sure made it easier to keep my barriers up.
Cupping my hands, I scoop water into them and pour it over his head a few times. I lather the soap and massage it into his hair, just as he did for me. As I wash his hair, he uses the sponge to clean his skin.
“Thank you. For coming. And warning me about the curse. For helping me break it.” Something truthful, that I can offer freely.