Chapter 28 #3
Mikael’s nostrils flare and his lip curves up in a snarl. From one breath to the next, he transforms from a gentleman into a deadly predator. In a blur he’s gone, reappearing behind the captain and jerking his head to the side as he sinks his fangs into the man’s neck.
The captain struggles, trying to fight Mikael’s hold on him, but Mikael has his arms pinned tight against his sides.
I rush up beside them to block the crew from seeing what’s happening. Seconds pass, and Mikael still has his teeth buried in the man’s neck. He should have only given him a warning, letting him know we are, in fact, in control of the ship until we get to our destination. But he isn’t stopping.
“Mikael,” I sternly call out his name.
He lifts his eyes to mine. His pupils are enlarged, and the tiny veins pulse beneath his eyes. The anger in his gaze is palpable. He pulls his teeth from the captain’s neck.
“What?” His tone is deadly; a hungry beast being torn away from prey.
I hold my ground and place a hand on his arm and squeeze gently. I’ve only ever seen him like this once, early in our relationship—and he had vowed he would never lose control again. But just like me, as he confessed, he’s changed in the years we spent apart.
“We won’t get anywhere if you kill him,” I say softly, coaxing the man I know back from the edge.
An unsatisfied rumble emanates from his throat. He looks at the blood on the man’s neck, then back at me. I raise a brow and shake my head.
He twists the captain around, grips the man’s face, and holds his gaze. “Change directions and make haste, or none of you will leave this ship alive. I’ll drain the blood from every one of you.”
“Right away.” The captain doesn’t argue, he just nods and returns to the helm, barking orders at the crew. The men below scramble, running across the deck, dropping sails and oars to change our direction toward the coast.
“Come back to me.” I lift a finger, wiping off the blood from the corner of his lip.
Has Erik’s presence affected him as well?
He was pissed last night about me kissing him.
We are up against time, and time waits for no one.
This wasn’t baseless anger. He’s still protecting me.
Doing anything to keep our progress moving forward.
But I suppose he benefits from me not dying as well.
I wouldn’t want to live with that guilt, either.
He tilts my chin up, and my eyes flit from his mouth to his eyes. His pupils have returned to normal, his gray irises illuminated in the sunlight. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You had to do what was needed.” I run my hand over his cheek.
“But I almost lost control.” Mikael closes his eyes and leans into my touch.
“When did that start again?” I run my other hand through his hair.
“After the battle. When I had to survive without you. I told you I did things I wasn’t proud of.” He breathes out, then continues. “I’ve been able to control myself since I left Saelithra. But when the captain wasn’t going to change his mind, I decided to change it for him.”
“Thank you.” I kiss his cheek.
“I’d do anything for you. I don’t know how many times I can say it for you to believe me.” Mikael slowly brings his lips down to mine, almost as if he’s waiting for me to reject him.
But I don’t. I let him, even with the lingering tang of iron on his lips from the blood he consumed.
His kiss is gentle and wanting.
There are a thousand apologies within the way his mouth moves against mine.
Embers light deep within me. Our bond is pushing its way through again, begging to be ignited, so it can burn with the passion we once had.
It’s probing for any weakness. A wave of shame flows through me for engaging in the kiss.
I pull away and look at my boots. “It’s not that I don’t believe you.
But… imagine yourself in my place. For all those years I hated you, wished death upon you.
” Looking back up at him, I continue, “I covered up our bond. I wanted to never feel your presence again. It’s hard to forget everything that shaped me after what happened.
Hard to just pretend as if those years and emotions don’t exist.”
He drops his forehead to mine. “I know.”
“I just need time,” I tell him—which is true, but I leave out the part that I’m not convinced we will work. None of it matters anyway, if we don’t break the curse.
I turn my gaze toward the coastline. Mikael stands behind me and wraps an arm around my shoulders, blocking my back from the cold.
We watch the land come ever closer. Bringing yet another trial, another part of my soul being recovered, and another layer of my cover-up being undone.
I hold on to his forearm, and lean into his warmth and steady presence.
I have never been so torn between two possibilities.
The uncertainty of the future scares me. The unknowing, laced with the truth that, once the curse is broken and my bond is reestablished, I won’t be able to block him out.
Completing the trial will come at the expense of the protection I established long ago. It’s already barely holding up, and this next trial might break it down completely.
I hate this.
I love him.
But I can’t have him.
And he can’t have me.