Chapter Thirty-Four
Angela
If there’s one thing in life that I understand, it’s the concept of a favor owed. I get why Brady did what he did. Loyalty, I learned growing up, is more important than anything else. Under different circumstances, I still wouldn’t have forgiven him.
But as it is, I don’t have much of a choice.
Despite the heartless bitch DNA running through my veins, I can’t erase the image of six-year-old Brady losing his dad, or fault adult Brady for wanting to protect his protector and save his mom more heartbreak.
But as he bandaged my hand and told me about Brendan and Connor, I knew that despite forgiving him, I couldn’t stay.
I love him. No, it’s more than that. I adore him, crave him, feel safe and loved and happy with him.
I am head over heels, ridiculously, foolishly in love with him.
Brady is all of my unreasonable expectations rolled into one person—loyal, protective, brave—and he’s shown me that love is more important than anything else.
But the pain of his betrayal is too powerful.
I will always look at him and see the guy who went behind my back while he was making me fall for him, who threw me to the wolves when he should have protected me. I love him too much to get over it.
For the next three weeks, I take ghosting to a whole new level.
I email all of my professors and let them know I won’t be attending the final week of classes.
I go to Student Counseling Services and apply for the same anxiety-related medical accommodation I had throughout college: permission to take exams in a smaller setting with fewer students.
I let Cliff know that Brady can’t come into Finnegan’s when I’m working.
I don’t go anywhere near campus, and I don’t go back to Lizette’s; instead, I stay with Elisa.
With all of those plans in place, I manage to avoid seeing or hearing from Brady for the last three weeks of the semester.
It doesn’t erase him from my life, though. I feel like he’s ingrained in every inch of my skin. I can’t erase him from my heart, as much as I try. Every night, while I lie on Elisa’s sofa, I fall asleep to his words in my head. We owe each other a chance.
Despite my anxiety, and okay, I have to admit it, my depression over Brady, I ace my exams. I spend the winter break working extra shifts at Finnegan’s and taking on more cases at Legal Aid.
A week before school starts in January, I move back into Lizette’s garage.
She bought some nicer furniture and everything is new and upgraded, but I still cry the first night I sleep there, remembering the comfort of Brady’s body, the warmth and love and security he brought to my life.
We owe each other a chance.
No. He’s gone. We’re done. He’s left the University of Dos Torres for good and is at Columbia where he belongs. I heard his former study group lamenting his departure and talking about how cute he looked in his cold-weather clothes.
I’m leaving class one afternoon in late January when a text flashes on my phone. As always, my first thought is, It’s him , but of course it isn’t. When I see the New York area code, however, the acute feeling of disappointment is replaced with anxiety and fear.
I call, and he answers right away, his voice gruff. “Rivera.”
“What do you mean, there’s a problem with Brady’s dad?” I say.
“Hello, Angela.” He sounds smugly pleased to hear from me.
“What’s going on, Agent Rivera?” I’m in no mood for his crap. I have a distinct feeling I know exactly what is going on. “The deal was that Brady brings me to you on a silver platter, and you get the district attorney to drop the forgery charges. He held up his end of the deal.”
“I’ve been up-front with Brady and Connor the whole time,” says Rivera. “The ADA doesn’t answer to me. She wants Paul’s and Oksana’s new names and Con’s not giving them up.”
“I don’t have that information, either.” It’s true.
My driver Paul Centanni’s strip club girlfriend is actually a nineteen-year-old girl from Ukraine who thought she was coming to the United States to be an au pair before ending up drugged and beaten and forced to have sex with my father’s disgusting clients until Paul got her out.
It was the picture Paul showed Conner Quinn of her bruised, tear-streaked face, and my promise to tip off the FBI about my dad, that had made Connor agree to make documents for all three of us.
Now Paul and Oksana are key witnesses in a huge FBI operation.
And if Connor isn’t going to help the Bureau, that leaves one last person who can give them Angelo Pini. The girl in love with Connor’s son.
“This is bullshit, Rivera,” I say, furious. But I’m mostly furious with myself. I let him see my weakness, and my weakness is Brady.
“This is a federal investigation, sweetheart, not Match dot com.”
I squeeze my phone, wishing it was Rivera’s balls. “What do you want?”
“Whatever you got.”
“I won’t sign anything. I won’t testify in court. And you or the ADA or whoever really holds the cards here lets Connor Quinn off before I leave your office.”
“Deal.”
“Send me a ticket for tomorrow,” I say. “I’ll be traveling as Angela Pines.”
I hang up the phone, and a heavy feeling of finality descends on me. Brady may have given me up for his dad, but I’m going to give up my dad for Brady.