Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
RANA
If she didn’t hear an update from Jasper soon, Rana was going to need to restock her thread again.
She pulled the last of the gold from the spool before tossing it to Zade, who lifted himself onto his hind legs and pounced on it with his front paws.
Once he was satisfied that it was truly dead, he started batting it with his paw and chasing it around the room.
“You could at least pretend to be a little more concerned, Zade. After all, he’s your Sultan as much as mine.”
Her vision blurred as she tried unsuccessfully to thread her needle, and she blinked her dry, tired eyes.
Between the sleepless nights full of tears and the countless hours she spent staring at tiny stitches while trying to get her mind to focus on anything but the memory of bloodstained fabric and Kamaran’s limp, unconscious form as he was transported back to the palace, her eyelids felt as if the insides were coated with sand, and a permanent headache seemed to have taken up residence at the base of her skull.
The spool skittered across the floor by her feet, and she had to lift them quickly out of Zade’s way as he zoomed past. “You’re right,” she said, squinting her eyes and finally forcing the end of the thread through the needle’s eye.
“It was rather rude of him to go and get himself stabbed right in front of everyone. As if he doesn’t already get enough attention just for his handsome face, he had to try to gain the sympathy vote as well. ”
“You’re so right. Next time, I’ll make sure that I get stabbed in the privacy of my own home, where no one will be able to see.”
Rana’s head whipped around at the familiar voice.
“Kamaran!” She threw her sewing to the side and jumped to her feet and was halfway to the door in the space of a heartbeat.
She remembered his injury just barely in time, stopping herself just as she was about to throw her arms around him.
They fell awkwardly to her sides, and she shifted back a step as her heart directed her eyes to scan every inch of his face, reassuring herself that he was really there and alright as her words poured out faster than she could stop them.
“You’re walking! Are you supposed to be walking? Does Zamar know that you’re out of bed? Not that you need his permission or anything—you’re the Sultan, after all—but didn’t you almost die just a few days ago?”
A slow, satisfied smile spread across Kamaran’s face. “You care.”
Her jaw fell, astonishment giving back the control she normally had over her tongue.
“Of course I care, you big oaf!” She barely refrained from punching him in the shoulder, and settled instead for fisting her hands and popping them on her hips.
“I don’t just share my Adhavian Delight with anyone, and then you decided to get all offended and storm off, and before I could even apologize for what happened, someone tried to kill you.
” Her eyes welled with tears and her voice shook as she forced the next words out, “I thought you were going to die.”
The next thing she knew, Kamaran’s arms were reaching across the space between them, pulling her forward until her head tipped against his chest. He wrapped them around her shoulders, and she felt the weight of his head as he rested his cheek on her hair.
Rana let her arms hang limply, unwilling to push him away but equally afraid of returning the embrace and injuring him further.
Zade rubbed along his legs like an affectionate cat before bounding off in search of his toy once more.
“I’m fine, Rana,” he murmured softly, brushing a kiss to her temple.
“You’re not fine,” she argued into his shirt, only somewhat distracted by the scent of fresh soap and sandalwood. “Someone tried to slice you open like a ripe mango.”
She could feel his laugh reverberating through his chest. “Fair enough. How about I’m not dead, then?”
She closed her eyes, taking a moment to breathe him in, to feel the weight of his arms around her, holding her in place. “I’m glad you’re not dead.”
“I can safely say that makes at least two of us.”
Rana exhaled, gathering her courage as she brought her hands up to push away from his chest. His arms fell away readily, and while she immediately missed them, she couldn’t put off any longer the words she needed to say.
She looked up to find him watching her, a soft mixture of wonder and affection on his face.
She breathed deeply, twisting her hands together. “I’m sorry I made you feel like a lizard. You’re not useless or lazy, and it wasn’t fair of me to imply that, especially when I didn’t know you at all.”
“Well,” he said, cracking half a smile. “To be fair, I am rather adept at weaseling my way out of things. I’m trying to be better, though.”
She nodded. “That’s what Jasper said.”
“That page certainly seems to know everyone’s secrets, doesn’t he?” Kamaran shook his head in amusement.
“He has a good heart, though. He wouldn’t use them against anyone.”
“So I’ve seen.” Kamaran pressed his lips together and scrubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. “I also owe you an apology.”
Rana shook her head vehemently. “You don’t. You’re not the one who insinuated that I was a reptile.”
“But I overreacted. I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way that I did.
I was just…” His voice trailed off and he swallowed thickly before continuing.
“I guess the idea hit a little too close to home. I’m well aware that I’m not exactly Sultan material, and though I’m used to being a disappointment to everyone I just…
I didn’t want to be a disappointment to you, too. ”
Her nose wrinkled in confusion. “Why would you think you’re not Sultan material? You’re charming and you’re smart and—”
“I’m not smart.”
“You are! I’ve been watching you. You—”
“I can’t read, Rana.”
“...What?” She blinked, caught completely off-guard by the tumbled words of his admission.
He shoved an agitated hand through his hair.
“I can’t read. That is, I know what the letters are supposed to mean, but they never work for me the way they do for other people.
They’re always blurred together or backwards, and I can never seem to keep track of where the words are supposed to be.
It takes me hours to get through a single page.
When I was a child, it was fairly easy to get around by just memorizing what was on the pages as my tutors read them to me.
That didn’t work as well as I got older and was expected to be more independent, and it was easier to pretend I didn’t care and couldn’t be bothered than it was to admit the truth.
So there you have it.” He laughed bitterly.
“Not only am I irresponsible, but I’m stupid as well. ”
“Oh, Kamaran,” she breathed, her heart aching for him as pieces of his puzzle began to fall into place. “You’re not stupid.”
His jaw worked back and forth as he gave her a sad, angry glare. “I don’t want your pity.”
She popped one hand on her hip. “Since when is stating facts equal to pity? Are you once again adding definitions to the Adhavian dictionary?”
“There’s something wrong with my brain, Rana. It doesn’t work the way it should.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t. You shouldn’t be able to walk into a room full of strangers and almost immediately know the right words to say to make people smile and feel comfortable.
You should have far more trouble than you do putting on and off the mask that means you set your emotions aside in favor of what you think the people of your kingdom need from you. ”
He shifted his weight. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means that you’re incredibly smart when it comes to people, which is arguably more important. Not to mention the fact that you implied that, as a child, you were able to memorize entire pages by having someone read them to you. That’s not a simple thing, Kamaran.”
“You really expect me to believe that being able to talk to people is more important than being able to read basic text?” he scoffed. “I’m the Sultan.”
She lifted her arms in a shrug. “Which just means that you have the resources at your disposal to work around it. Don’t you already have a secretary? Just have them read things for you. Or designate someone else for the job. You have an entire palace full of staff.”
“And when people find out that their ruler can’t read, I suppose they’ll just console themselves with the knowledge that at least I can deliver a well-timed joke at a party?”
Rana let out a long, slow exhale. He’s spent his whole life believing lies about himself, and it’s not going to change in just one conversation.
She reached out, giving his forearm a comforting squeeze.
“Anyone who knows you can see how intelligent you are. It was one of the things that annoyed me the most, because you were so smart and I couldn’t understand why you didn’t seem to care.
” She paused for a moment as a thought struck her. “Did your father know?”
Kamaran stared at the place where her hand touched his arm. “He might have suspected something was wrong, but I never said anything. I didn’t want to give him any more of a reason to be disappointed in me.”
“Your father loved you, Kamaran. I think, if anything, he would have been happy to carry your burden with you.” She squeezed his arm again. “Thank you for trusting me with it.”
He lifted his head slowly and when his eyes finally met hers, they were dark and vulnerable. “You don’t think I’m a mistake? That someone else wouldn’t be a better choice for the throne?”
“I think Abba made you exactly as you were meant to be,” she said firmly. Then, wanting to bring the usual confidence and light back into his eyes, she lifted a teasing brow. “And really, it’s only fair. You needed at least one flaw to balance out your charm and good looks.”
Her words had the desired effect, and the hint of one of his devastating smirks pulled at the edges of his mouth. “You think I’m that good-looking, huh?”
Rana gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “You own a mirror, Kamaran. I think you’re already well-aware of what you look like.”
“Yes, but it’s much more satisfying to know that you’re also aware of it.” After a breath he added quietly, “Thanks, Rana.”
She returned his smile with a genuine one of her own, and in the moment of silence that followed, she registered for the first time that he was missing the fine, well-tailored clothes he normally favored, and was instead clad in a loose white tunic and linen trousers the color of sand dunes.
His feet were bare, giving the moment an element of intimacy that felt both strange and yet perfectly natural.
Rana slid her hand down his arm to his fingers and pulled him into the room. “Now, as much as I would love to continue this conversation in the doorway, you did just get up for the first time after being skewered and you should probably sit down.”
“Why?” He followed her without resistance, though the slow, careful way that he lowered himself into the chair that she had already designated in her mind as “his” caused a pang of guilt in her chest for keeping him standing for so long.
“You mean you don’t want to hear what happens next?”
“I do,” he answered quickly. Zade jumped into his lap as soon as he was settled, and his hand immediately sank into the fox’s soft fur. “I just wasn’t sure if you would want to finish it.”
Rana scooped up her embroidery hoop as she took her own seat. “Are you kidding?” she asked, giving him a cheeky grin. “I’ve just realized that your sad deficiency in stories probably extended far back into your childhood, and you have a lot of catching up to do.”
“I suppose I’ll have to trust your expertise in this matter.
” Kamaran gave her a soft, lazy smile as he leaned his head against the back of the chair.
He looked so comfortable and cozy, with the flickering light from the fire dancing across his face and Zade curled up on his lap, and there was something about his presence that just felt right in a way that Rana wasn’t sure she was brave enough to think about too closely.
Her heart felt settled for the first time since their argument over a week before.
She picked up her needle. “When the shock of the woman’s disappearance wore off, Prince Kamden looked around the garden to find that he was completely alone…”