Chapter Seventeen
Lucy’s old Ford Fiesta rattles precariously as we drive down the bumpy, uneven country roads. Normally, our insistent chattering masks any irritating car sounds, no matter how loud they are. This evening, however, the drive to Lavender Fields is sombre at best, downright worrying at worst.
‘Is everything alright?’ I ask, peering closely at my friend’s tight face. ‘You’ve been sort of quiet today.’
Shoulders tautening, Lucy glances in my direction, then back at the rolling road ahead of us. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’
Pressing my lips together, I lean back against the car seat, wondering if it’s worth grilling her further.
All day, she’s been a bit out of it, not her usual bubbly self at all.
Maybe she’s just stressing about getting her new book ready for the publishers, or maybe it’s because the wedding date is creeping closer, but she’s pretty much been glued to her mobile phone, a fixed expression of worry marring her face.
‘Book club should be good tonight,’ she says, her voice artificially bright and breezy. ‘They’ve probably started reading something new by now, though. I can’t believe I’ve missed the last two meetings.’
‘They’ll understand, you’ve been so busy with work and wedding planning.’
‘I know, but I should be able to make the time. I feel bad that I’ve barely spoken to Alex’s mum, not since the hen.’
‘She seemed to have a good time that day, didn’t she?’ I chuckle at the memory of her boogieing around in her seat, egging Ash on as she gyrated against the pole in the club. ‘She’s a right good laugh, is Phyllis.’
‘Yeah, she is.’ I thought she’d begun to cheer up, but a trace of sorrow crosses her face. ‘I just … I don’t feel like a very good daughter-in-law.’
‘What do you mean?’
Lucy shakes her head as we turn into the Lavender Fields’ car park. ‘I’ll talk to you about it later, okay?’
With no choice but to drop it, I follow Lucy inside the building and we take the lift up to the usual lounge.
I suck in a breath, a brief flicker of hope that Finn might be volunteering tonight lighting up my heart, but it’s quickly dowsed when it becomes apparent that he’s not here.
Our book club ladies are in the usual spot, though, happily sipping cups of tea and chatting to Mel as she brings them shortbread biscuits out on a tray.
Her eyes widen and she smiles as we walk over.
‘I didn’t realise you guys would be here tonight, would you like a cuppa each too?’
‘Ooh, yes please!’ I take my place in a navy armchair between Mrs Hickingbottom and Rose. ‘One sugar, please Mel.’
‘And me.’ Lucy nods as the china teapot pours the steaming liquid into two separate cups. ‘Thanks, Mel.’
The ladies don’t give us a moment to settle before they leap on us, all eager and excited to hear about last weekend’s night of debauchery and decadence.
‘Phil has been telling us all about the hen party, young Lucy,’ Alison winks. ‘Sounds like quite the event!’
‘Ah, well it was Alicia who organised it.’ Lucy nods towards me, and I flush magenta. ‘She definitely has some wild ideas, that’s for sure.’
‘It was such a blast!’ Phyllis chuckles. ‘Best fun I’ve had in years.’
Shyly, I smile at her. ‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’
‘And how are things, honey?’ Phyllis turns to her daughter-in-law-to-be. ‘It’s not long now until the big day!’
A little sheepishly, Lucy tucks a hair behind her ear. ‘Nope, it’s coming up fast. Alex and I have been swamped with sorting things out, I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit for a while.’
‘Oh, don’t you stress yourself about that, I know you’ve got a lot going on. You just make sure that son of mine isn’t making a mess of my beloved cottage, eh?’
Lucy pales and looses a nervous giggle. ‘Don’t worry, he keeps it pristine.’
Mrs Hickingbottom coughs theatrically and taps the book in her lap. ‘If we could get back to the topic at hand, please, ladies?’
Like school kids who’ve been shushed by the teacher, we all giggle behind our teacups and nod obediently. I even add a slightly cheeky ‘Yes, Mrs Hickingbottom!’ for good measure.
She throws me a stern stare before opening the book to a page marked with a purple post-it note.
‘So, we should have all read chapter ten by now, where Rosalie discovers Matthias’ secret stash of gold coins in the wine cellar -’
‘Wait, I’ve actually read this one!’ I blurt out, much to Mrs Hickingbottom’s chagrin. ‘I mean, it was a while ago when I was in school, but I remember it.’
‘Well then, do share your insights with us,’ Mrs Hickingbottom quips, heavy on the sarcasm, and yet, the other members of the club nod encouragingly, their smiles expectant and welcoming.
Trawling my memory banks for traces of The Chandler’s Fire, I begin to piece together the story, bit by bit.
‘W-well, I think the main theme of the story is change, and how we can be resistant to it.’
Elbows resting on her tweed-covered knees, Mrs Hickingbottom leans forward. ‘How so?’
‘Well, Rosalie is set in her ways, she’s been working as the chandler at old Lady Barkshire’s estate since she was thirteen. Now, as a grown adult, she can’t picture a future any different than the life she’s been leading. But then, of course, she meets Matthias.’
Mrs Hickingbottom says nothing, she simply nods as a silent invitation to continue.
‘At first, she dismisses him and his easy-going, teasing manner, believing him to be nothing more than a jumped-up, overly-confident portrait artist. And yet as the story goes on, he teaches her that it is not weakness to rely on someone, and it takes a certain kind of strength to ask for help.’
To my astonishment, the club members are hanging on my every word, even Mrs Hickingbottom. Clearing my throat, I carry on, careful not to give spoilers for the rest of the book.
‘Because of her tragic past, she’s very rigid and unable to open up to anyone, which only ends up causing her more pain. But just like her candles burn down to the wick to serve their purpose, so must she be open to transformation in order to find true happiness and a purpose of her own.’
I must have pulled that line from some ancient crevice of my mind (the one that stores my lacklustre essays from secondary school) but the book club girls seem thoroughly impressed with my analysis. Winnie even begins to clap!
‘Blimey, when did you turn into a little swot?’ Lucy reaches across the small table and pokes me. ‘Who knew you were such a genius?’
Certainly not me!
I’m not entirely sure where all that came from, I guess that book left a bigger impression on fifteen year-old-me than I realised.
It’s still light by the time we hug our book club friends goodbye (all except Mrs Hickingbottom - ‘a simple farewell is quite sufficient, thank you!’) and step out into the crisp evening.
I corner Lucy as she clicks her car key and the doors open. ‘Okay, there’s nowhere to hide now. You’ve got to tell me what’s on your mind.’
We slip into our seats, Lucy still silent. As she goes to switch on the radio, I lightly slap her hand away from the dial.
‘I mean it, Middleton.’ I study her. ‘Have you got cold feet or something?
‘No, of course not! Not me.’ With a trembling sigh, Lucy brings her eyes to mine, and I’m shocked to see they are brimming with tears. ‘I’m worried Alex has.’
My mouth agape, I lean back, then forward again, unsure how to respond. ‘No. I mean, there’s no way. Alex is obsessed with you, Luce. Not to mention how involved in the wedding planning he’s been -’
‘I know all that, it’s just … well, in the last week, something has sort of shifted between us. It’s difficult to explain, but he’s been harder to pin down, and when I do manage to get an hour of his time, he’s distant, as though there’s something constantly on his mind.’
I bite the inside of my cheeks, a familiar churning starting up in my stomach. ‘Well, have you just asked him?’
‘Yes, but he simply tells me that there’s nothing wrong, when it’s so obviously clear that there is. I just wish I knew what so I could fix it.’
I have an awful feeling that I know exactly what is wrong, and I think it might be all my fault.
Why, oh why do I always have to insert myself into other people’s business?
I was just trying to help Alex and Lucy start the difficult conversation that they’ve been avoiding for months, but all I’ve done is push him away from her.
Oh God, what if he really has developed cold feet?
Could all this drama have made him rethink the wedding?
‘Don’t worry Luce, I’m sure it will all be fine,’ I’m trying to convince myself just as much as her. ‘I reckon a lot of people get like this just before a wedding, it’s totally normal.’
‘Maybe, but still, it’s unsettling. I wonder if he’s been speaking to his mum about it, do you think she seemed a bit off with me today?’
‘Not at all, she seemed as chilled out as she always does to me.’
Teeth nibbling at her bottom lip, Lucy finally turns the key in the ignition and the little car sputters into action. ‘I don’t know, I’m worried she’s mad at me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t come to see her in weeks.’
‘Oh Luce, you’re just looking for evidence to back up your concerns when there’s absolutely none there. Phyllis loves you to bits, anyone can see that.’
She draws a deep breath and gives a little nod. ‘You’re right, I’m just getting worked up. Still, you heard her mention the family cottage, didn’t you?’
‘Well, yeah. So?’
‘So, I told you how important it is to her. There’s just no way Alex would ever sell the place, which means -’ Another deep breath, this one shaky and jagged. ‘- I’ll have to look into selling Appleseed Cottage.’
‘But you love Appleseed Cottage!’
‘I do.’ A tiny, wistful sort of smile lifts the corner of her lips. ‘But I love Alex more.’
Dumbstruck, I stare at my best friend as she focuses on the slowly darkening road, calmer now that she’s made her decision. Never in my life have I ever acted so selflessly, I can’t even fathom giving up something so precious just to make another person happy.
Maybe true love does exist, after all.