12. Ainsley
Chapter 12
Ainsley
“ I ’m going to call an Uber,” I say as soon as I regain the ability to speak.
Taylor releases Gem, and she slides into a chair, the dreamy, slightly bashful look still painted over her glowing features.
That kiss was…everything.
She took me by surprise at first. I hadn’t planned to let this night go anywhere beyond just dinner and talking. I’m still so unsure about the whole thing. But the look on her face when I inadvertently tried to avoid her…the way she shied away from my reciprocation…
But those aren’t the moments living rent free in my head right now. No, it’s what happened next.When Taylor captured her arms behind her back and held her out to me like a present, I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried.
I’m so fucked.
For better or worse, I’m sliding headfirst into someone else’s relationship.I don’t know what that means or how it even works.What I do know is that my dick is trying to tear itself out of my jeans.
And I know it’s not just because of Gem.
“Don’t you live like six blocks from here?” Taylor huffs at me as I stand, leaning awkwardly against the doorframe leading into the hallway, holding my hoodie in front of me to hide my raging hard-on.
I’m tempted to ask how the hell he knows where I live, but my focus is getting out of this house without embarrassing myself, so I let it go. “Yeah, well. It’s cold.”
His eyes meet mine, and I see the question only briefly before it’s replaced by understanding.He knows I’m scared.
Like the guy read my fucking mind.
Or Gemma told him about my mugging.
“I’ll walk you,” he says.
“You don’t have to?—”
“I need some air,” he says, not even waiting for me to finish. “Give me five.”
And he disappears down the hallway. I can hear him jogging up the stairs.
With his massive energy out of the room, I turn back to Gem, who’s watching me quietly from her chair.
“I had a good time tonight,” I tell her, kneeling down so I can put one hand on each of her knees and look up into her swirling green irises.
“I’m glad you came,” she answers softly.
I start to rise but her hands reach out for my shoulders, keeping me close. “Will you come back?”
The indecision puzzles me. I want this girl. I seem to want to dive right into whatever dynamic these two have going, but I can't make myself commit. “I’m not sure. I mean, yeah, I’ll come back. But classes start on Tuesday, and I have my community service hours to work on top of homework… ”
I trail off as she looks down at her hands, resigned.
“Can we have dinner again sometime?” I blurt out, just to get her to look at me again.
It works.
“Sure.”
“What’s your class schedule like?” I’m suddenly struck by the fact that I didn’t learn much more about her during dinner.
“I’m in a grad program, so a lot of my work happens wherever my laptop is. But I go onto campus on Mondays and Wednesdays for an art class and meetings. I go to the kitchens to have lunch with Taylor some days. Will you be there?”
I haven’t even let myself consider the new dynamic I’ve gotten myself into at the school cafeteria, and the thought almost makes me shudder.
Maybe I actually shudder because Gem laughs. “He’s a good guy. He’s just very focused.”
“My ears are burning,” Taylor says from behind me.
I take one last look into Gem’s kind, smiling face before pushing myself up to my feet. “I’ll text you,” I tell her, not trusting myself to go in for one last goodnight kiss.
She just nods.
Taylor and I walk the six blocks to my apartment in complete silence.
A few times I consider trying to make small talk, but a glance in his direction always stops me. He’s looking straight ahead, as if on a mission.
I doubt I’ll ever be comfortable enough to just casually talk to this guy.
I resolve to get Gem alone for our next hang out. Maybe a coffee date when I know he’s at work. I can feel something great happening between the two of us, I just need a minute to get to know her a little better without this guy breathing down our necks.
“This is me,” I say, turning at the base of the brick steps leading up to my apartment.
Taylor looks up and lets out a long whistle, hands still in his coat pockets. “Dang. I mean, I should have expected something like this, but when you said apartment, for some reason, I thought you meant apartment .”
I know he’s trying to get a rise out of me, so I just turn and start up the stairs. “See you around.”
“Bright and early Tuesday morning.”
His answer comes from too close behind me as I fumble with the key in the front door, and I spin. “What are you?—”
“I just want to make sure you get inside safely.”
It sounds more like a threat than anything, but I turn back to the key and unlock the door. When I turn back around, Taylor’s still standing on the top step. “You coming in?” I ask, mostly joking.
“Sure, yeah,” he answers, as if I was inviting him.
I hesitate for a moment, but I don’t see any way around it, so I step back and let him enter the dark apartment ahead of me.
He doesn’t take two steps before the baying starts.
I laugh softly to myself, surprised Doc is up so late. I expected to find him sprawled out on my bed, snoring.
“Hey bud, it’s just me.”
The scattering of toenails on the wood floors replaces the howling as I flip on the lights and everything comes into view. Taylor drops straight to his knees and greets the dog head on, accepting almost his entire body as it flies toward him, paws hitting his chest. “Who’s this guy?” he asks, laughing.
“That’s Doc. My watchdog.”
“Oh, doing a great job, I see.”
I laugh to myself as I toss my keys on the counter and turn on a few more lights. It never fails to amaze me how animals change people. .Even the gruffest, most in-your-face assholes become baby talking ten-year-olds when faced with a furry friend.
“What long ears you have,” Taylor’s telling the dog.
Case in point.
“Okay, well, I’m safely in my house. You’ve done your duty.”
Taylor breaks away from Doc and stands, facing me, hands on hips. He looks like he’s about to give me some kind of lecture, so I beat him to it.
“Is this the part where you tell me to fuck off and stay away from your girlfriend?”
His face twists in confusion. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
I shake my head and shed my coat, tossing it over the back of a bar chair at my kitchen counter.
To my dismay, Taylor does the same.
“You’re such an asshole,” I reply, crossing my arms over my chest.
Something about being in my own house, on my own turf, is making me feel a lot bolder than I have before with this guy.
“Yeah, I know.”
I shake my head, unable to figure out what to do with that answer.
“I don’t know how any of this works or if I even want any part of it,” I say finally.
“But…” is his infuriating answer.
“But.” I spit the word out, surprising myself with my quick temper. “Yeah. There’s a but. I’m not sure what it is, but it has something to do with her.”
“I get that. She’s pretty great.”
Finally, something we can agree on. “Yeah, she is. But I've never done anything like this. Never even considered doing something like this.”
Taylor doesn't respond, so I stumble on stupidly. “I thought I’d just show up and see what the deal was, but I’m more confused now than I was before. You and her…and me and her? I don’t get it. I feel like I’m going to fall for her and as soon as I do, you two are going to jump out and laugh and tell me this whole thing was some kind of big joke and I’ll actually be the fool.”
I don’t know if I expect him to admit I’m right or tell me I’m crazy, but he does neither. “The fool? Why’d you phrase it like that?”
“What do you mean?”
“You should have said a fool. But you said the fool.”
I huff in annoyance, taking a few steps back into my kitchen and dragging my hand down my face. “I don’t know. I just…I found a card.”
“You found a card,” he repeats slowly.
“Yeah. That first night I met Gem, or the first time as adults, anyway. Christmas. She took me up to some rooftop deck, and I found a card on the ground up there.”
“The Fool.”
His tone catches my attention. It’s like something just clicked into place for him. And here I am, more confused than ever.
“Does that mean something to you?”
He narrows his eyes at me, and I can tell I just went back to being a complete idiot in his book. “You never looked it up?”
I shake my head.
“Why the fuck not?”
Yup, I’m definitely an idiot.
I shrug, suddenly feeling defensive. To be honest, it never even crossed my mind. “I got jumped on the way home, and the guys took everything from my pockets. Including the card.”
He’s nodding again. “You two met on Christmas night, coming together as adults after crossing paths as kids. You found a Fool card on the ground, and on the way home you got mugged and they stole it.”
He’s reciting the story as if the answers to the great mystery of life have suddenly been revealed.
“Yeah,” I say again. “And?”
He’s just shaking his head and pulling his jacket off the back of the chair. “See you Tuesday, man.”
“What? No way. Whatever you know, you have to tell me.”
“I don’t have to do shit.”
I try another angle. “Have you ever found a card?”
“I’ve drawn plenty of cards.”
“What was the first one?” I plow forward, feeling like I’m finally onto something.
He pulls on his coat and takes a step toward the door, kneeling once more to accept Doc’s entire body into his lap before looking up at me and answering. “The Magician.”
The sound that sputters from my mouth is not quite a laugh and not quite a scoff. It’s somewhere between animalistic and mournful and so loud that Doc abandons Taylor and trots over to see if I’m okay.
“The Magician?” The words finally make it out of my mouth, but they sound wrong. Like I’m about to cry. I clear my throat and shake my head. “That’s just perfect. That’s the perfect summary of how I feel right now. Like you’re the magician, and I’m the damn fool.”
Taylor walks over to stand in front of me too quickly, too close. I’m caught off guard but backed up against the counter with nowhere to escape. “I would have thought a fancy college boy like yourself would know a thing or two about homework,” he growls, his nose almost touching mine.
“I…I don’t know what that means,” I manage.
He takes a step back and zips his coat up. “I suggest you figure it out.”
And then he leaves without looking back.