Chapter Eleven
The meeting was concluded, staff rotas for the next three months were set, and all delivery issues accounted for.
“A moment more of your time please, Flight Sergeant Segast.”
Ang Shi’s request was a worry, as I saw no reason for it. I didn’t think the other flight sergeants were any clearer as they left either. The last one out closed the door.
“Please, Segast,” Shi held his hand out again, indicating the chair I had just vacated. “Sit.”
I did.
Shi sat very upright in his chair. As always. Once I was seated, his eyeline went to the tabletop. The wood was polished, the grain beautifully swirled but I doubted Shi was seeing it.
His head came up and then turned slightly so he was facing me. “Tell me about the silver dragon. Tell me what you saw.”
My heart juddered into my throat. My blood sank to my boots. None of it seemed to be getting up into my brain.
“Be assured,” Shi said. “I ask for my own curiosity, this is not an official demand, it will not be reported onward. I understand that the moment was consequential for you and for young Mister Segast. I wish only to understand it.”
I wish I had never mentioned it. To anyone. Ever.
“Please, Segast, I wish to support you and your son and need to understand to do that.”
I’m not sure he did, but perhaps I needed to be understood by someone.
I took a deep breath. “It wasn’t as much as you might think.
But I was out in the fields behind Pasaocea.
With Fin. We were playing catch.” Such a stupid, simple thing.
Innocent. That should never have had the impact that it did.
“Suddenly, there was a shadow over us. We didn’t even look up, we were that used to dragons flying over.
Then it landed, that we turned to see. I stood there, unmoving, trying to comprehend what was in front of me.
This massive silver dragon. Bigger than any other dragon I’ve ever seen.
” I swallowed, some part of me still in shock from that moment.
“It had landed on three paws. It carefully lay the girl in his claw on the grass, looked at me. Looked at the girl. Looked at me. Then flew off. It was Fin that broke the silence. ‘He wants us to take care of her,’ Fin said.” I breathed again.
Swallowed. That short interlude was so vivid in my memory, it played out in front of me all over again.
“It was like Fin’s words broke some spell.
I ran to the girl. She was just lying there.
Eyes wide, breath stuttering, hyperventilating, white as a sheet.
I recognised her, picked her up, helped her control her breathing, checked she wasn’t hurt.
She wasn’t. Not a scratch on her. Then I took her back to the fortress.
Back to her father.” I paused. It was the barest explanation, but it was also a full one.
“Her father being then Dragonlord Tiernan?”
I nodded.
“I have tried to find out what happened to his daughter,” Ang said, “but there is no news. As if she has … disappeared off the face of Gultima.”
That made me frown. “Do you think she’s dead?”
“I think that there is no news, so must hope for the best. Go on with your account.”
“When I was called to explain what had happened, it was before senior officers and a priest. So I explained, and was instantly called a blasphemer by Confident Tamura.”
“That is the part I do not understand,” Ang Shi said.
“While we only recognise six colours of dragons, there are tales of a gold dragon from centuries ago. Why could there not be a silver dragon? One that comes from a land we are not yet aware of? We only discovered purple dragons a thousand years ago when one came to Gultima. How can we be so sure that there are no other colour great dragons out there? After all, carrier dragons show very different markings.”
Carrier dragons were mottled between green and brown, some speckled for camouflage, and they were anything up to the size of a large dog. They were used to carry messages and parcels from message hub to message hub.
“What is the blasphemy?” Ang asked. “How does the reported existence of a silver dragon defy belief in the Nine Gods?”
I swallowed. “I’m not exactly clear on that myself. All I can tell you is that that’s what Father Tamura called it. I have heard is that it links a heresy from the dim and distant past, but I didn’t have chance to find out more before I was ordered to come here.”
“Perhaps I could—”
“No!”
His eyes widened at my shout and I’m not surprised, I hadn’t meant to be so vicious. “Sorry,” I added. “It’s just that I don’t think it’s safe to pursue that line of enquiry.”
“We’re already at the back of beyond as far as stations are concerned,” he pointed out, “what worse can they do?”
“Kill us.”
* * *
That conversation stayed with me a long time. I didn’t know what the truth was about the definition of blasphemy, but I was afraid that asking was a short cut to end of life. Strangely, I found the idea of being the reason that Ang Shi lost his life was utter anathema to me.
One training day, several weeks later, I was looking for Fin, when I was told he and Ang were training together. The trip down to that training room was easy enough, the pull back up played hell with the calf muscles.
But when I crept down the last few steps, I didn’t want to disrupt anything, as I could hear their voices.
“Twenty-one,” Fin said, he sounded half asleep. Not dreamy, but exhausted. “There are twenty-one dragons in Murmaberg stables, and a further thirty-four in the nests.”
“Do you have any names?”
There was silence and I stepped down to see Fin was biting his lip. He was sweating.
“If I go for names, they’ll sense me.”
Ang nodded. “Then don’t. You’ve done well, Mister Segast, time to come back to us.”
There was a beat, then more colour returned to Fin’s face. He opened his eyes and looked at Ang, smiled, then looked at me. “Dad!” I think that was a happy sound as I walked across to him.
“Fin.” I nodded to him, then saluted Ang Shi. “Sorry to interrupt, Flight Captain.”
“Is there an issue, Flight Sergeant?”
I shook my head. “Today is my training day, I am simply reporting for training.” It was usual that my training came after Fin’s.
Ang nodded, but then turned to Fin. “Mister Segast. You did well. But you must learn the control of a light touch with less effort. You are dismissed.”
Fin saluted, but not as well as he could. As he stood he stumbled. I caught him, covered it with a hug. Then set him on his feet promising to see him for dinner.
“Sit down, Flight Sergeant,” Shi said as Fin was heard scampering up the steps.
I moved down to sit cross-legged in front of Ang Shi.
Ang’s eyes were closed, he was shirtless and I found my eyes drawn to the subtle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed and relaxed.
I matched the breathing, but I couldn’t take my eyes off that sculpted body.
At last he opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Fin is up in the fortress,” he said. “How much of your energy did you gift him?”
I should have known he’d feel that small use of magic. “Enough to keep him from keeling over. You are pushing him very hard.”
“Do you feel I push you too hard?”
I wished he’d emote more, allow me to see more of the man beneath the control. “Sometimes,” I said. “But I’m an adult, I signed up for this way of life. Fin’s just a boy, he didn’t choose this.”
“He is a boy with extraordinary talents,” Shi said. “And if you can trust me to understand your limits, you should trust me to understand his. Now, you need to show me, how you are doing with your own training.” He reached out and offered both hands.
I took them, feeling the warmth and strength of him and we each firmly clasped the other.
“Take your time and explore my body.”
My swallow was unintentional. His flicker of a smile was probably my imagination.
“I was sparring with Fenwick earlier. I have a minor injury. Find it and see if you can heal it.”
* * *
I found the injury, a fractured toe, which isn’t as minor as it sounds.
If he had continued to heal in the way it was, with Ang pushing through the pain, he would have been forever misaligned and painful.
Ang gasped as I healed it, because I had to pull it out of its crooked state before I could put it back into alignment correctly.
We sat there together, opposite one another, hands held longer than we needed to. The sensation of just being together, being connected, it was more comfort than anything I had experienced since losing Sasha. My eyes flew open. What was I doing? I jerked away, and to my shame, I ran.
* * *
The punchbag got another pounding, as it all too often did.
Despite our conversations, Ang Shi kept pushing Fin way harder than he should.
Fin was coming home exhausted. Happy, yes, but exhausted.
My request for reassignment had been declined again.
If I worked hard enough, maybe I could sweat away the other feelings I had for Ang Shi. That feelings I was hating myself for.
I was unwrapping my hands when Ang Shi arrived.
He nodded once to me, then turned his back, removed his jacket and then his shirt.
And that expanse of skin wasn’t as touchable as my guts wanted.
By the Gods, so close. So out of reach. I couldn’t keep doing this.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right to remember Sasha and want—
“You’re pushing him too hard.”
I hadn’t meant to say it, but the words slipped out. Torturing myself wasn’t enough, now I was striking out at him. Unfairly. Shi’s spine straightened. Carefully he turned to face me.
“What was that, Flight Sergeant?”
I couldn’t hold back my glare, so I turned away, concentrated on removing the bindings from my hands instead. This wasn’t his fault, but he was there, he was the easy target. “Nothing, sir.”