38. Violet
Chapter 38
Violet
Dustin picked me up at eleven, I was waiting eagerly in front of the NSSG. He was all smiles while we chatted in the car ride to the farm. When we first met, I thought he couldn't smile. Now it’s all he ever does. My jokes are landing, his eyes crinkle with each one. I’m so wildly happy in his presence.
He opens the sliding barn door with a swift tug. The tractors and machines are all parked inside. “We can take the side-by-side.” He says, motioning towards the vehicle. He opens a fridge to our left and pulls out a picnic basket. I look at the tractors and I get the sudden urge to ask.
“Can you teach me how to drive a tractor?” I have no clue where this is coming from. But it looks fun. I’d want to have a go at it.
“Yeah, why not? Want to learn now? We can take the bigger one there.” He points in the direction of the big green one. “It’s automatic.”
“I was thinking something more on the lines of that one.” I point to the one in the back, It’s covered in a layer of dust. It’s bright red and the smallest one in the barn.
“The farmall cub?”
“I think so, the smallest one.”
He chuckles, “that one is a manual. It’s harder to drive.”
Does he think I can’t handle the challenge?
Now that he said it, there's no way I’m backing down from the challenge. I want to learn how to drive that one.
“I can handle it.”
“Okay, I think you can too. Just take it easy on the clutch, please. My grandpa would have my ass if we blew it out again. I did it one too many times growing up. It was his first tractor, he’s sentimental about it.”
“We don’t have to take it out. I didn’t know that.”
“No we should for old times sake. Bertha needs to see some pastures again.”
“You named it?” I laugh.
“Yes, when I was five. It stuck.”
“I’ll pull her out of here and we can drive it instead.”
“Where are you going to sit?” I ask once it’s sitting in front of the barn.
“I’ll stand on the back.”
“Where?”
“Where the implements attach.”
“Is that safe?”
“It’s safe enough. That’s how my grandpa taught me.” Safe enough. What does that mean? I’m starting to regret this idea.
He helps me onto the tractor. I’m feeling my confidence fleeting every moment. Being up this high with no clue what I’m doing is nerve racking. But I trust Dustin. I know he will make sure we’re okay.
“Remember the brake is the pedal on your right. The clutch is on your left. The throttle is the little bar right here.” He reaches his arm over me and moves the bar up, the tractor revs up higher. When he moves it back down it slows to an idle. “Got it?”
“Yes, that doesn’t seem too bad.”
“Good, we’re going to start in first gear and stay in it, that way you can go slowly. We’re going to the field to the far right. Just keep following it until you see apple trees.”
“Okay.”
“See the bar to the left of your legs, that’s the gear shifter. You can wiggle it now. If it moves freely it’s in neutral. Before we head off, which side is the brake and clutch?”
“The brake is on the right, and the clutch is on the left.”
“Good.”
He gives me a few more instructions on how to stop, how to slowly release the clutch so that it doesn’t throw him off, how to shift into each gear and what to do on steeper ground. I paled when he talked about going up and down hills. Good thing where we’re going is flat.“
“I think you’re ready. Press down the clutch, move the gear into first and slowly feather the pedal to release it.”
I got this.
I try my best to let off the petal easily but it springs from my foot faster than I expected. We shoot forward, the motion makes him almost fall off.
“I’m sorry!” I shout.
“It’s okay, you’re learning.” He chuckles. “We might lose our lunch. I almost threw it off. But it’s a risk I’m willing to make.”
I roll my eyes and laugh.
After we breeze through the pasture at a snail's pace, he instructs me on how to change into second gear, and third. We travel smoothly, the wind blows in my hair. His breath is hot against my ear. The sky is bright blue with thick white clouds. Everything is in full bloom, the trees bright green. I smile. And stop the tractor a few feet in front of the apple trees.
“Look at all the apples. I wish they were ready to eat!” I say, as he helps me off the tractor.
“You can have all the apples you want in the fall.”
“I can’t wait.”
His eyes widen. “I forgot a blanket.”
“That’s okay. I like sitting on the grass and feeling it between my fingers. It’s freeing. Grounding.” I feel bad for derailing his plans. But it was worth it. Learning how to drive the tractor was nice. I trust Dustin, more than I have ever trusted anyone before.
He opens the wooden basket and removes two sandwiches, grapes, and some water.
“Thanks,” I say, as he hands me my food. “It’s really peaceful out here.”
“It is. I want to spend the rest of my life here on this farm.” He looks heavenward. “If you’d like, you can spend it here with me too.”
It was a sweet thing to say. It warms my heart. But, I still have lingering doubts in the deep confines of my head. They have nothing to do with the man sitting next to me, looking at me like I’m his whole world.
“That would be nice.” I say.
I just don’t know if I deserve it.
“What do you have planned for the rest of today?”
“I’m going to check on the plants in the greenhouse. Then I’m heading straight to the Valley Harvest to interrogate Henry. I keep forgetting to talk with him; I’ve been so busy. I’m making it a priority today.”
“Poor Henry.”
“I’ll take it easy on him, I promise.”
“I can come with you. I’m sure my grandpa will be pissed. But I don’t care. If you need me, I’ll be there with you.”
“No, I’m good. Please don’t piss off George, I already broke their fine china. I don’t need anything else to add to that list.” She gives a half-suppressed laugh. “Besides, I need to do this on my own. Now that I know it’s Henry the hard part is already figured out. You fulfilled your end of the bargain.”
“I didn’t even do anything.”
“You helped me figure out who it was, that was more than enough.”