Chapter 13 The Unwanted Arrival in Spring
The Unwanted Arrival in Spring
Erin
Callan was avoiding me.
He hadn’t stopped by the cottage in days. No. A week. He sent messages, and our daily round of Unscramble still popped up on my screen, but he was distant. An ocean was between us again, even though we lived on the same property.
My eyes settled on the grand house peeking through the elms, and I breathed a little easier…until I remembered why I’d hauled my backside up the hill in the first place. There was only one way to close the gap I’d wedged between us. We needed to talk. No texts. Face-to-face.
I’d bumble my way through an apology that would hopefully explain the needy finger I’d traced around his top button—to myself as well as him—and our friendship would go back to the way it was before.
My heart sank.
Did I even want that? The before?
Or did I want to run headlong for the breathless excitement of that forbidden moment in the kitchen to see what came after?
Matilda refused to walk on the path beside me. Overnight spring rain had left puddles scattered along the winding driveway, and the crunch of pebbles couldn’t compete with the joy of jumping from one muddy spot to the next.
“Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!”
She giggled when the murky water sprayed up her boots.
A big voice boomed, “Who’s that stomping on my farm?”
Callan’s head popped out of the garage. An enormous smile spread across his face, but when our eyes met, he quickly shook it off, firming his mouth in a frown.
O…kay?
“Cal!” Matilda cried. “We here!”
“I might’ve heard you coming.” Some of his awkwardness dissolved. He winked at me. “You’re testing out your boots, huh?”
“Yeah.” She rammed her foot down in a puddle. “Look!”
He grinned. “Impressive. Other than stomping, what else are you girls doing today? I was thinking I might head into town.” He cocked his head. “Want to get some ice cream with an old farmer?”
Matilda clapped. “Yeah!” Hopeful eyes lifted. “We go, Mummy?”
“Sure,” I said. “Why not?” A few more minutes to think about what to say couldn’t hurt.
I fished around in my bag for the spare clothes I’d packed for Matilda.
Her sandals were stashed somewhere in the bottomless pit, too.
“Til, come to the house. We’ll get you cleaned up before you drip all that mud in Cal’s truck—”
His hand reached out to stop me. “Can we talk first?”
My shoulder slumped enough for my bag to slip down, but I shoved it back up. “T-talk?” That was the reason we’d hiked up the hill, but the deep ache of his voice was ominous.
“We’re good at talking…” he said. “Most of the time…”
Oh God. How bad was this? “I’m sorry. I know I upset you,” I blurted out. “It’s just that, well—”
“You did nothing wrong,” were the words that came out of his mouth, but his frown said otherwise. I knew this face. He was keeping something from me.
“Why are you lying to me, Cal?”
“I’m not, but…” He stalled for time by raking a hand through his hair. “I haven’t been as honest with you as I could be… Or probably… as I should be.”
“How serious is this?”
Callan never avoided my gaze, but his pale lashes dipped. He was going to talk to his boots now. “It’s serious, Erin.”
My heart deflated. Was this really happening? Was our friendship ending because I woke up one morning with the dumb idea of making him a sandwich? “You called me Erin again,” I choked out. “When things are good, I’m just… Ez.”
“You’re never just Ez.”
“Who am I then?”
Callan’s gaze cut to me. The unguarded emotion shimmering in his eyes stole my breath.
He’d never looked at me like that before.
No… He had. At my wedding. When he’d passed me the ring, he’d held my gaze so long that Jeremy had cleared his throat and waved at him to hurry up. Had he been trying to warn me?
“Erin, the thing is… That morning… In the kitchen…”
“Yeah?”
“And that night in the forest…”
“Yeah?”
“I, um… Bloody hell. This isn’t easy…”
“You’re not kidding…”
A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “We’re not good at this type of talking.”
“Apparently not. Just blurt it out—”
The hum of wheels crunched in the distance. Callan’s hand shielded his eyes to block the morning glare, and he squinted at the black car looping the circular driveway. It wasn’t Bronte’s tiny hatchback, and Mim usually zoomed around the property on the ATV. She was a menace behind the wheel.
“Expecting someone?” I asked.
“Nope,” Callan said. “It’s probably a backpacker looking for work. The drop-ins have picked up now we’re coming into spring.”
The car stopped, and when the driver’s door opened, a tan suede loafer stepped out, followed by another. Jeremy. His lip curled as he slid off his sunglasses and scanned the overcast skies hanging over the valley. He’d never been a fan of the countryside.
Callan scoffed with disgust. “I should’ve known he’d turn up eventually.” Shaking his head, he propped his fists on his hips. I guess he was ready for whatever was about to happen.
I wasn’t.
“It’ll be okay,” I said, but it was more to reassure myself.
Jeremy leaned into the car and hauled a bouquet of pink peonies off the passenger seat. I swallowed. My favorite flowers…but he was months and another woman too late.
“Daddy!” Matilda cried, racing to Jeremy and lifting her arms.
He balked at the mud splattered on her boots. There was no way he’d want her messing up his designer Moleskine jeans. “Princess!” He crouched down, but my heart twisted in a pained knot when he didn’t let her snuggle too close. “You’re covered in mud.”
“Yeah! See boots?” She popped her leg out and wiggled it around. “Cal got for me!”
Jeremy’s expression remained flat. “Wasn’t that nice of him?”
Her attention zeroed in on the bouquet, and she sidled closer to him with an even sweeter smile. “For Matilda?”
“These flowers are for your beautiful mother,” he said gently, “but I do have a surprise for you.” Patting the breast pocket of his sports coat, he wiggled his eyebrows.
She squealed. “What…got…” Her little fingers scrambled in his pocket until a silver bracelet popped out, pink crystal baubles and charms clinking as she twirled it in the air. Her mouth rounded into a big O. “Matilda like it.”
“Princess, you’re supposed to say, ‘I like it,’” Jeremy corrected her.
With her big brown eyes on him, she nodded very slowly. “Matilda like it lots.”
I ducked my head to hide my grin. Another grammar lesson failed. Jeremy would complain about it later, but I refused to take her back to the speech therapist. She was so little. She’d grow out of this phase when she was good and ready.
Jeremy balanced the flowers in his lap. “Hold still, and we’ll pop on your bracelet so you can show it off.”
Of course, Matilda couldn’t wait. She was too excited and wriggled everywhere. Somehow, he clipped on the bracelet, and she thrust out her arm, grinning from ear to ear as she spun it around her wrist to show me the unicorn charms.
I said, “It’s a pretty bracelet.” Completely inappropriate for a toddler, but she did love it. “What do you say to Daddy?”
Matilda threw her arms around Jeremy’s neck and kissed his cheek.
“Good enough,” I laughed.
Jeremy ruffled Matilda’s hair and rose to his feet in one smooth motion. “Hello, Erin…” he said. “I’ve missed you.”
He tried to misdirect me by holding out the flowers when he leaned over to kiss me, but his lips landed on nothing but air. A scurry back, and I was safely wedged beside Callan. Jeremy’s dark eyes flickered with hurt. His usual confidence was shaken for a heartbeat.
“I’m surprised you figured out where to find me,” I said.
Jeremy’s smile was simpering. “Your crude message about the use of farm equipment on my genitals narrowed the possibilities.”
Callan snorted a laugh. At least someone appreciated my humor.
Jeremy narrowed a sharp look at him. “I can’t say I’m at all surprised you were the one who offered Erin a place to stay, Cal.” He held out his hand.
Callan stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t seriously expect me to shake your hand.”
“I assumed people in the country are still taught some form of etiquette,” Jeremy replied.
“And I assumed people who recite wedding vows honor them,” Callan spat back. “But I guess I was just raised differently—being from the country and all that.”
Jeremy’s outstretched hand clenched into a fist before it dropped by his side.
Callan noticed. He cocked his head, willing my ex to take the first swing.
I’d seen enough brawls between the boys growing up to know Jeremy’s next visit would be to the emergency room if that happened, and my closest friend and my soon-to-be ex-husband rolling around in the mud, punching the shit out of each other, wasn’t something Matilda needed to see.
“Jeremy,” I said, my strained voice snapping both men’s attention to me. “What are you doing here?”
“You stopped taking my calls.”
I had. Proud, I lifted my chin. “You can direct anything you want to say to me through my lawyer.”
“Erin…” His tone lowered to a velvety murmur that wouldn’t work on me anymore. “I flew down to be with you as soon as I could so we could have this conversation in person.”
Like hell he had. “It’s been three weeks,” I said.
“Patients…” he apologized weakly. “But there are things we both need to say.” His eyes flicked to the man standing behind me. “Alone.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m busy right now. Cal is taking us into town for ice cream.”
“Yeah!” Matilda cried. “You can come, Daddy!”
My eyes widened. God help me…
“I’d love that.” A smug smile stretched across Jeremy’s face. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you both ride into town with me?”
Oh, yay. It sure would be fun to be trapped in a car with Jeremy as he spouted more lies about how sorry he was. “Do you have a car seat?”
His eyebrow arched. “What for?”
“For Til.”
“It’s a rental.”
“The rental place can install a car seat…” If you remembered to ask… “Cal’s truck has a booster.”
“I’ll ride with you then.”
Callan barked a laugh. “Not bloody likely.”
“I haven’t seen my wife and my daughter in weeks,” Jeremy snapped.
“Whose fault is that?” Callan replied.
“Listen here, you uneducated piece of—”
“Guys!” I sighed. “Can we not do this in front of Til? Please?”
Callan muttered an apology under his breath, but Jeremy only smiled. He was back commanding the state of play, and he loved it.
He shoved the bouquet at my friend. “Take care of these, will you?”
Callan accepted the flowers with narrowed eyes. He was considering hurling them into the mud, but he crouched low and held them out to Matilda.
“Can you do an extra special job and carry the flowers inside?” he asked. “We’ll put them in some water so you can take them back to your place later.”
Matilda excitedly accepted, clutching the bouquet protectively to her chest and giggling when the petals tickled her nose.
Callan took her hand. “We’ll be back in a minute.” He turned a frown over his shoulder as they left.
“You’re not staying in the house?” Jeremy asked, watching Matilda stomp up the stairs to the front door.
“No, I just… The house is…” A terrifying unknown. “It’s too soon…” Even if it had been three years since Lila was last here.
“Erin, this grief.” He tried to slip a comforting hand around my waist, but again, I stepped out of his reach.
I hugged my cardigan tighter around me. It was all the protection I had now that Callan was inside. “We’re staying in one of the settler cottages,” I said to avoid any more talk of Lila. “Cal and Bronte restored them for renting out. They’re super cozy.”
“We have a beautiful home in Melbourne. You and Til deserve to live there.”
“You’ve changed your mind about moving out?”
“No.”
“That’s a shame…” I muttered.
“Our marriage is worth fighting for. One night doesn’t change how much I love you.”
“You have to be kidding right now.” I held up a hand to stop myself before I cursed a blue streak at him. Matilda was in the house and out of earshot, but I still fought to keep control of my temper. “One night absolutely changed how I feel about you.”
“Erin, it was a mistake.”
“It was a choice. You made a whole series of choices without thinking about me once.”
“You’re all I was thinking about.”
My eye roll was juvenile, but I couldn’t help it. “Oh yes, I can see how sleeping with another woman was certainly for my benefit.”
“I was stupid, Erin. I thought if I could meet my physical needs in some other way, I’d stop putting that pressure on you.” The emotion hitching his voice almost sounded sincere. “I wanted you to have space for healing...for your needs…”
“Like how I might need a man who doesn’t leave me panicking about him being dead in a ditch somewhere?”
“Your fixation on death is…” Sighing, he shook his head.
Was he seriously trying to make out the problem was me? Unbelievable! “You didn’t pick up your daughter, Jeremy! You ignored all my calls! You ignored the teacher!”
“Erin—”
“What sane person is sitting there calmly thinking, ‘Gee, I’m sure my husband’s totally fine. He’s probably giving me space to grieve my dead friend by fucking someone else!’ Come the fuck on!”
Jeremy shook his head with disgust. He never liked me swearing, but too bad. I was angry and sick of bottling everything up to make everyone else feel better.
I shot at him, “The only reason I haven’t asked Cal to throw your lying ass out of here is because of Til. She deserves to know her father…even if he is a lying sack of shit.” I spun on my heel and headed for the house.
“Erin!”
I waved Jeremy off with a dismissive flick of my hand. I was so done with him. “I’ll cool off and get Til changed. We’ll meet you in town.”
With any luck, he’d turn his car around and drive straight back to the airport.