Chapter 20 That Distracted Conversation in Summer
That Distracted Conversation in Summer
Erin
“Thank you for agreeing to meet me,” Jeremy said.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was nervous. He’d smoothed his silk tie more than once since greeting me at the front of the cafe. His suit and slicked-back hair looked out of place in this quaint corner of Richmond. Everyone else wore jeans—including me.
Jeremy pulled out the chair and muttered, “You certainly are casual tonight,” as he motioned for me to sit down.
“This isn’t a date,” I said. “I wasted enough years of my life dressing up and doing my hair for you not to notice.” I dropped the bouquet of roses he’d shoved at me earlier onto the table and pulled out a different chair for myself.
Jeremy sighed. “Erin, can we please stop playing these games?”
My eyebrows popped up. Who was playing games? Not me. “You didn’t bother calling for any of your video chats with Til all week, and you didn’t give me any notice you were here and wanted to talk about arrangements for her.”
That was the only reason I’d agreed to meet him for this bullshit “dinner” on his latest trip to town. I had no interest in seeing him. In fact, if we could finally settle on days for visits and nights for video calls, I could see him even less. Or not at all—even better.
“My patients needed me. You know how it can be some weeks,” he said. “I do want to talk to you about Matilda. And us. But let’s settle in first.”
Right. Settle in. I glanced around the cafe. Did they serve alcohol here? Maybe wine would help me power through this awful dinner…
A buzz rattled the floor beside my feet. Bending down, I dug my hand into my bag and grabbed my phone.
Callan
Got my eye on you.
I grinned. A glance over my shoulder caught sight of Callan outside the bar across the road.
He was sipping a Coke because he was my self-appointed designated driver.
My heart fluttered in my chest. He looked so handsome tonight, his hair neatly trimmed and his smile so achingly sweet.
He raised his palm. What I wouldn’t give to wave him over to sit on the other side of the table.
Erin
CHIZL.
Callan
I don’t get an easy night of Unscramble even when you’re putting up with your ex? Bloody hell, Ez.
I’ll give you a hint. It’s how much fun I’m having.
Zilch, huh? Hang in there.
MOUSISY.
I bit back a smile. Miss you.
Miss you too xo
Jeremy cleared his throat. “Erin?”
“Sorry…” I put my phone on the table and forced myself to give Jeremy a tight smile. “Did you say something?”
“You haven’t thanked me for the flowers.”
“Oh.” I glanced at the discarded bouquet of white roses dumped on the table. Matilda would love them. Me? Not so much. “Thanks.”
“Roses are your favorite, aren’t they?”
Maybe. Once upon a time. I propped my chin on my hand and stared out the window again. Callan had plucked a few sprigs of lavender from the fields and bunched the fuzzy strands with some twine for me. They were on the cottage windowsill, and the kitchen smelled so pretty—
Jeremy cleared his throat louder this time.
Oh. Right. Dinner. Our conversation about how to manage long-term plans for Matilda.
Jeremy sighed. “Erin, I’m trying.”
“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sure.”
I grabbed the menu and scoured the appetizers. Jeremy’s fingers curled over the top, and the menu lowered enough for me to see his frown.
“Yeah?” I said.
“I asked you how Matilda is.”
“Oh. She’s great.” I managed a genuine smile. Finally, something I loved talking about. “She’s just started a tiny tots ballet class at the church. Oh my god, Jeremy, she’s so adorable in her pink leotard. Cal said—”
“I don’t give a fuck what Cal said. The less attention you pay to that freak, the better.”
Don’t react. My fist balled so tight my fingernails bit into my palm. Ignore him. “Til’s made a little friend with one of the cattle farmer’s daughters.” The strain of trying not to get frustrated pinched my words. “Cal is setting up a playdate for them.”
“Matilda has plenty of friends already. At home. When are you coming back to Melbourne?”
“I’m not.”
“You’re staying here?” He barked a laugh. “Should I remind you how much you hated growing up in this backwater?”
“That was different. I was young.” And I was even more naive about the polished city men I’d daydreamed of dating as a stupid teenager. “My parents were chasing impossible dreams—”
“And no one blames you for repeating their negative patterns—”
“God.” I tossed the menu on the table in frustration.
“I’m not repeating a damn thing about my parents’ life.
I haven’t thrown all my money to the wind to buy a vineyard, and I’m not the same woman I was when I left for university.
I’m excited to settle down here. The farm is a wonderful place for Til to grow up—”
“You live in a rundown cottage built by convicts in Hicksville Nowhere, Tasmania. That is no way for my daughter to grow up. Confront reality, Erin.”
I smirked. “You certainly are good at making me confront reality, Jeremy.”
He scowled but didn’t bite back. Silence was a stone wall between us until the server appeared beside him.
“What can I get you tonight?” she sang.
“Good evening”—he arched his neck to check her name tag—“Melissa. Can you please tell me what you recommend? There are far too many choices for a simple man like me.”
I narrowed my eyes on the flick of his hand through his hair. Simple man? What a joke. He was a psychiatrist from a well-to-do family who played tennis three nights a week and was fussy about wines. There was nothing simple about him.
He was flirting with the waitress. It was subtle, but it was deliberate.
Jeremy claimed he wanted me back, but if I said yes, would this be my future?
Would I spend every dinner over-analyzing how his voice lowered to that silky purr and wonder if the waitress bending over to point to something on the menu was a silent invitation he’d accept later when I was out of sight?
No thanks.
Forgive, maybe. But forget? I never could.
Callan never made me second-guess his feelings. His eyes never wandered. He still stared in amazement at our joined hands when we walked to the forest as Matilda ran ahead. He whispered compliments in my ear when he hugged me from behind in the kitchen. And the way he kissed me…
God.
Callan’s kisses were sweet in public but passionate and demanding in private.
Sinking into the sofa with him pressed against me was intoxicating.
His lips hot on my skin, he slipped a cautious hand past the waistband of my panties and murmured, “Do I make you feel good?” as if he wasn’t about to make me come on his fingers.
The man knew how to pleasure a woman. No, not any woman. Me. He got off on pleasuring me. I was enough. Every time I tried to return the favor, he batted my hand away and dove straight for my pussy. He was obsessed with making me come.
I grabbed the glass of water and took gulp after gulp. A deep ache throbbed between my legs. Those memories were too much for this dinner. I was burning up.
“Erin?”
“Huh?”
Jeremy threw his napkin on the table. “Are you listening to me?”
“Yeah?”
“Like fuck you are.”
My jaw clenched, and I stared at Jeremy, unblinking. He was clever enough to realize that his sharp tone wouldn’t work on me anymore. The wooden chair creaked when he folded his ankle on his knee. He was trying to look relaxed, but I wasn’t fooled.
“I’m sorry.” Jeremy reached across the table for my hand. Too slow. I snatched it away. “I’m just frustrated that I’m trying so hard to bridge this gap between us, and you’ve been off in La La Land—”
I stood up.
Jeremy sighed. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Home is a thousand miles away.”
“Not your home. My home. I’m going back to the farm. Coming tonight was a mistake.” I bent over to grab my bag off the floor. “I don’t want to bridge the gap between us. You created the Grand fucking Canyon when you fucked someone else.”
Jeremy was on his feet now, too. “Keep your voice down.” He put a hand on his hip for good measure.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Don’t you want the rest of the world to know how evolved you are?” I patted his arm. “Don’t worry. I’m sure there’s some sad woman here who’ll take pity on you and play with you, little boy.”
The thunderous expression on his face only made my smile bigger. I walked to the door with my head held high. Done. Over. Matilda was the only reason we were talking, and my overpriced lawyer could facilitate those conversations going forward.
I paused at the side of the road. A glance left, then right—
The bouquet of roses appeared under my nose. “You forgot these,” Jeremy snapped.
I rolled my eyes. Him? Again?
I smiled at Jeremy sweetly. “Oh? Did I?” I took the flowers and hurled them on the ground. A good stomp with my sneaker drove home the message that I didn’t want his stupid gift.
Jeremy’s mouth dropped open. “What is wrong with you?”
“You’re still standing here!”
“You’ve completely lost your fucking mind.”
The heavy steps of Callan’s boots stopped behind Jeremy. “She’s had enough of you for tonight.”
Jeremy scoffed a laugh as he slowly turned around. “Well, what a surprise.” The bitterness dripped in his voice. “If it isn’t our good friend Cal.”
Callan wasn’t intimidated. He raised his chin and said, “You can come see Matilda some other time.”
“You don’t get to tell me when I can see my daughter,” Jeremy said.
“No, but Erin can.” Callan turned to me. “When can he come see Til?”
“Tomorrow after ten,” I said.
“You heard her,” Callan said. “Now fuck off back to your hotel. We’re done with you.” He beckoned me closer, and after shaky feet pulled me to him, he slung his arm around my waist. “You okay?”
I nudged my head against him. “Yeah.”
“Wait. Just fucking wait.” Jeremy waved a hand like a director cutting the end of a scene. “What’s going on between you and him?” His dark eyes rounded. “Jesus, Erin, are you… Are you fucking him?”
“That’s none of your business,” I said.
“I’m your husband!”
“Only for seven more months.”
And the day I could finally file for divorce couldn’t come fast enough.