Chapter Twenty-Four #2
To Lissa’s complete surprise, Ria had even jumped off the cliff a second time when they got up there.
Watching her witch come alive before her eyes should have thrilled Lissa, but all she felt was the ache in her heart spreading, taking over her lungs and making it hard to breathe.
She didn’t want to find more reasons to fall even deeper in love with Ria.
She was already so far down the well that when Ria left she might never be able to climb out.
Snagging a scone and taking a good-sized bite, Lissa tried to sense anything in the delicious pastry that made it more than just a yummy baked good.
She evaluated the flavors as she chewed, but all she tasted was buttery, crumbly, huckleberry goodness.
“Should I be worried about the magic in these?” she asked Ria before taking another bite—for scientific reasons, of course.
“No, you have nothing to be concerned about,” Ria replied, stretching her legs out on the soft towel and raising her face to the sun.
“It isn’t going to turn you into a zombie shambling down Main Street groaning out, ‘Scooones. Must have scooones.’ They just contain a little drop of a happiness potion.
Like a tiny hit of dopamine but magical instead of chemical. ”
“Happiness potion, huh?” Lissa asked, eyeing the last bite in her hand. “Is that something you know how to make?”
“It is,” Ria said, popping the lid off a tub of grapes.
“But some of the ingredients are rare and hard to find. Honestly, I should have realized what Mixie was doing the moment I set foot on her patio. She’s growing half the required herbs in plain sight.
I think I was so surprised to find evidence of an unknown witch in Seacliff I never put two and two together.
” Ria tossed a grape into the air and caught it in her mouth.
Lissa stared at the witch for a long moment, committing everything to memory.
The way Ria focused so intently on the trajectory of the fruit, adjusting herself to catch it.
The way she crushed it between her teeth, and a droplet of juice spurted out onto her chin.
The way her eyes crinkled as she laughed at herself before wiping her mouth and grabbing another.
Ria just seemed so relaxed and happy. The tightness in her body that had infiltrated most of their time together was gone, the lingering threat of a love spell no more.
For a brief moment, Lissa considered saying nothing.
After all, it would be unfair to ruin Ria’s happiness.
She should wait for another day, let the glow of the new relationship fade before she destroyed it.
Maybe have sex a few hundred more times. Surely that was best for Ria.
Please tell me you don’t believe that shit, her brain groaned.
I believe it! her vagina shouted, tempted by the idea of taking Ria back to her cottage and making love until dawn. Lissa did still have her omelet ingredients…
You’re stalling, her heart said, interrupting the daydream. Please just get it over with. I can’t take the pressure of waiting for the axe to drop.
As much as Lissa wanted to justify putting it off, she simply couldn’t delay any longer. She had to know if there was even a small chance Ria might forgive her and let them move past it.
Lissa watched Ria miss one of the grapes, the small fruit bouncing off her forehead and landing in the sand. Laughing, Ria twisted around to grab it, swinging her perfect ass in front of Lissa’s face, the witch’s tiny thong covering next to nothing.
Oh, come on, her vagina sputtered. This isn’t fair!
Life isn’t fair, her brain replied. You made your decisions, now you have to live with them. Tell her.
“Hey, uh, Ria,” Lissa began when the witch turned back around. “There’s something I need to tell you. And, um, you’re probably not going to like it.”
Ria paused in her meticulous cleaning of the rogue grape.
“Well that sounds ominous,” she said in a teasing tone.
“This isn’t the part where you reveal you really are a serial killer, is it?
Because I’d rather not die in nothing but my underwear.
Unless that was your plan all along. Maybe you just want me haunting you in my panties for the rest of your life, an eternally sexy ghost.” She gave Lissa a wink and tossed the grape in her mouth.
“This is serious,” Lissa insisted, swallowing roughly and taking Ria’s hands into her own.
Frowning, Ria glanced down at Lissa’s tight grip on her. “Okay, well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not anything we can’t work through. What’s going on?”
Lissa allowed herself one last moment to get lost in Ria’s eyes before taking a deep breath. “I’ve been lying to you,” she confessed, “and I can’t keep hiding the truth.”
Ria’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. You’re with someone aren’t you? I should have known a woman as incredible as you wouldn’t be single. Don’t tell me who it is. No, do tell me. Wait, actually I—”
“Okay, stop right there. It’s not that,” Lissa interrupted, shaking her head. “The only person I’m interested in is you, Ria. I… I love you.”
A small tear formed in the corner of Ria’s eye but didn’t fall. “I love you too, Lissa. When you didn’t say anything in the cave, I wasn’t sure…”
“I wanted to,” Lissa said, releasing her hold on Ria’s hands so she could tuck a wet curl behind the witch’s ear.
“I just didn’t want you to think it was because of the sex if I told you then.
The truth is Ria, I was captivated by you the first moment I saw your face, and once I actually got to spend time with you…
I was a goner. I never stood a chance. Believe me when I say I don’t want anyone but you. ”
“Then whatever else is going on doesn’t matter,” Ria replied, securing Lissa’s hands and guiding them down so they were clasped tightly over her heart. “We love each other. Whatever you’ve kept from me can’t be bad enough to change that.”
“I hope that’s true,” Lissa whispered. She sucked in a deep inhale, then blurted out, “The truth is Ria I knew who you were before I even reached out to you about the destiny love spell. That’s kind of why I reached out to you. I never wanted a spell. I didn’t even believe in magic.”
Ria blinked a couple of times but didn’t drop Lissa’s hands.
“Okay, well that’s not too awful,” she replied slowly.
“I mean, I figured out pretty early on you didn’t believe in magic, so that’s not a surprise.
I just assumed Daria pressured you into trying out a love spell. But how did you know me before that?”
It’s now or never, her brain urged. Rip off the damn bandage and see how bad the damage is.
Shoulders drooping, Lissa cast her focus away, taking the coward’s way out so she wouldn’t have to see the pain on Ria’s face.
“I saw you on a video conference call last year,” she confessed.
“I knew you worked for Mercer Marketing. The truth is… I work for Smooth Expressions. After you left, Mercer dropped us as a client. They told us two days before your campaign was supposed to go live. An art conglomerate in Portland bought the studio and gave us six months to turn it around. Our time is almost up, and the studio is about to go under. I reached out to you because I thought I could get you to tell me about whatever Mercer had been planning in the hopes it would be something that could drum up enough business to save us. I’m so sorry, Ria.
I never meant for it to get so out of hand. ”
As if Mother Nature herself was shocked by Lissa’s confession, a heavy silence settled over them.
The rustling of leaves in the trees died down, and the birds quieted their cheerful song.
Only the light splashing of water against sand remained, but even the ocean seemed upset, the once active waves now escaping back into the sea.
It took everything in Lissa to raise her head and look at the woman she loved.
Thin tears streaked down the sides of Ria’s face, but it was the heartbreak in Ria’s eyes that hurt the most. Her once vibrant witch looked broken, and it was all Lissa’s fault.
“When?” Ria whispered, her voice barely audible even on the quiet beach.
“When what?” Lissa asked, the lump in her throat making speech difficult.
“When did you stop using me? At what point did you stop trying to find out what I knew?”
Fuck.
Ria couldn’t have asked a worse question.
“The sea lion feeding,” Lissa answered truthfully, even though she wanted so badly to lie. She’d known the moment they kissed after Pride that she needed to tell Ria the truth. Instead, she’d been selfish, and now she had to suffer the consequences.
“The sea lions!” Ria demanded, the hurt in her eyes morphing into something dark and angry.
Grabbing her tank top, she yanked it over her head.
“So even after you knew I was tormenting myself over that damned love spell, you were still just using me for a freaking marketing plan?
How could you? How could you let me suffer, thinking your actions were all my fault, when really you were manipulating me for your own benefit?
“Please,” Lissa begged. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Wasn’t it?” Ria asked, pulling on her shorts.
“I kept thinking the only reason you wanted to be around me was because I botched that spell. At any point you could have told the truth about why you kept wanting to see me.” Ria let out a bitter laugh Lissa couldn’t believe came from her sweet witch.
“That’s why you invited me to Pride, wasn’t it?
Why you indulged me in my bizarre request for midnight skinny-dipping.
The sea lion feeding. I thought you went to all those extremes because of the spell, but it was just you buttering me up to get what you wanted.
Do you have any idea how much I’ve suffered, thinking I was the one taking advantage of you? ”
Ria yanked on her shoes without bothering to tie them and stomped up the beach toward the trail.
“Wait! Please, stop!” Lissa called, abandoning the picnic to chase after Ria. “You’re making it sound like that was the only reason I wanted to see you.”
Ria whirled around and folded her arms, glaring angrily at Lissa. “So now you’re going to tell me it was because you cared about me? Loved me?”
“I do love you,” Lissa argued, reaching for Ria and wincing when the witch pulled away. “I almost told you the truth so many times because I love you.”
“Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way, Lissa.
If you loved me, you wouldn’t have been able to see how twisted up I was about everything and still maintain your lie.
You don’t do that to someone you love. You just don’t.
” Ria’s shoulders dropped as the anger gave way to something far worse—heartbreak.
“Why didn’t you ask me? If you had been honest and upfront from the beginning, I would have done everything I could to help. ”
“I wanted to,” Lissa protested. “But…”
“But what?” Ria interrupted, throwing up her hands. “What possible reason could you have for holding onto the lie for so long?”
Lissa swiped her tongue back and forth over her lip piercing, trying desperately to figure out the best way to explain her cowardice. “I was scared,” she admitted. “If you didn’t help, then it was all over, and I’d never have a chance at finding out what you knew.”
Ria took a step back, shock and disgust contorting her beautiful face.
“So you didn’t trust me? That’s why you lied?
” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you think so little of me that you actually thought I would have walked away.
That I would have been able to abandon a company that was suffering because my old boss screwed you guys over like he screwed me.
I think that hurts more than the lies, Lissa. ”
“Please, baby, just let me—”
“Don’t you dare call me baby,” Ria cut her off, venom lacing her voice. “I’m not your baby, Lissa. I’m not your anything. And I’m definitely not your love. You can’t love someone if you don’t trust them.”
Lissa didn’t even recognize the woman standing in front of her.
The sweet, kind witch who finally learned to embrace life was gone, and there was only this hard, unyielding person left.
Lissa had done that. She had killed the light in Ria’s eyes.
“I’m begging you, Ria, just give me another chance,” she pleaded.
“I will do everything I can to fix this. I will prove to you how much I love you.”
Turning her back on Lissa, Ria said quietly, “Take me home.”
Panic seized hold of Lissa, her hands twitching at her sides, wanting so badly to take Ria into her arms. “Please, if you would just—”
“I said, Take. Me. Home,” Ria gritted out, then resumed her trek toward the car.
“You know,” she called back, “I was so worried about breaking your heart when you found out about the love spell. I guess the joke was on me though.” Pausing, she glanced back at Lissa.
“Because it turns out you don’t have a heart. ”
Lissa dropped to the sand, tears streaming down her face like a waterfall.
Ria was right; she didn’t have a heart, not anymore.
She felt like it had shattered into more pieces than there were grains of sand on the beach, the remnants swept out to sea with each new wave until there was only a hollow void inside her.