Chapter 3
Maxine was on the Tube, examining her reflection in the opposite window behind two girls, students with large satchels sharing earbuds.
She stared at herself, a stranger, an aloof, mature woman, comfortable in her own skin, travelling alone.
But she didn’t look forsaken or distraught, despite having just been – what were the words – cheated on?
She didn’t feel rejected or hurt. In a strange way, she could see the beauty of the situation as she thought back to the conversation.
Russell and Jo had hurriedly pulled on clothes, looking uncomfortable, the future uncertain.
Jo wanted Russell. That had been obvious as she’d sat on the sofa next to him, the gin balloon at her feet, reaching for his hand, placing fingers on his thigh as if it meant some kind of ownership.
Russell clearly didn’t want Jo. He’d made that clear as he’d tried to explain in the weaselly way he had that she’d come round to say thanks for her birthday present, found him alone in the flat, thrown herself at him and seduced him.
Jo had started to cry, muttering that he’d encouraged her; more, he had wanted her.
It took two to tango. She’d actually said that.
At that point, Maxine had felt more sympathy for Jo than Russell.
She’d calmly asked them both about Terry. ‘Where does he fit into the picture – has anyone thought about how he’ll feel?’
Jo had instantly burst into tears all over again, as if it was the first time she’d considered how her actions might affect her husband.
Russell had squirmed and promised ‘it’ would never happen again.
Jo’s face had flushed beet red, a smacked backside.
Maxine had felt sorry for everyone by this point; she’d won some sort of moral victory and they were both very unhappy with the outcome.
It had been time to make an exit: she’d stood up imperiously, told them to have a long conversation, decide what they really wanted. Maxine would leave them to it – she was going out. She’d be back later. It was their mess, not hers.
As she’d turned, Russell had chased her to the door, begging her to forgive him. She’d replied simply that he’d made a choice, there was nothing to forgive. Then she had walked out, chin in the air, clutching her handbag.
She asked herself again how she could possibly see the positives in such a dreadful situation. Terry would be hurt – he clearly loved Jo. Russell was distraught, struggling to convince Maxine that he loved her, and Jo wanted Russell, and had probably done so for a long time.
But Maxine felt a new sense of freedom. It was like breathing in sharp air. Being retired helped. Russell and she had been an item for two years, but perhaps this was the right time to rethink her priorities.
React. Reflect. Reset.
As the train jolted and shuddered to a stop, Maxine wondered what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Right now, she had no idea. But here was an opportunity. She, Russell and Jo all had choices. The problem was what to choose.
None of them were truly contented as they were; change was the only option. A resolution would bring peace. Happiness.
Right now, Maxine wanted a drink. A meal.
And time to think. While her actions made total sense, her emotions were muddy; she wanted to be sure how she felt.
The table was booked for seven o’clock and it was six-thirty.
She’d dine alone, drink wine, go back to the flat and talk honestly to Russell.
Jo would have gone home to Terry. Or perhaps she’d still be there.
The train stopped at Camden Town and Maxine edged towards the door.
She’d have preferred to have showered and changed her clothes before she’d left, but the time had been filled with listening to Russell’s protestations of true love and Jo’s sobs of guilt.
She walked through the turnstile and out onto the busy street.
It felt good to be out by herself. She felt grounded. Strong. Surprisingly, she was enjoying the sensation of independence as she walked briskly towards the restaurant. She felt single again and, Maxine realised with a rush of emotion, it was probably what she needed.
She arrived at the Tsunami and gazed through the window, staring at a bar that glittered gold, the white tables and stools.
There were a few people already eating, mostly couples, but she was excited about the prospect of dining alone.
Suddenly, she became conscious of someone next to her, standing a little too close.
A self-assured female voice said, ‘Are you eating here?’
Maxine turned to look at a stunning young woman in a dark jumpsuit, her black hair braided and pulled into a high ponytail. Maxine took in the false eyelashes, the heavy brows, the pouting lips and said, ‘Yes, I am, actually.’
She saw their reflection in the glass, an older white woman in a smart suit beside a tall young black woman oozing grace and charisma.
‘I wondered if you’d been stood up.’ The woman laughed. ‘We’d be in the same boat.’
‘Oh, has your partner not arrived?’
‘He’s half an hour late. He won’t come now.’ The girl shook her head, the ponytail swinging carelessly and her dark eyes dancing with mischief. ‘Typical man.’
Maxine noticed that the woman didn’t look worried. ‘Does your partner let you down often?’
‘No, I only met him last night. I was out clubbing. He’s called Troy.
He said he’d meet me here at seven – he’s the first man in ages who’s offered to take me somewhere smart.
Most men think the pub’s good enough. But this restaurant looks nice.
’ The woman glanced at Maxine’s feet. ‘Those shoes are nang, by the way.’
‘Nang?’
‘Cool.’
‘Oh, thank you.’ Maxine wasn’t sure what to say. ‘Will you be – you know – all right? Now your boyfriend’s stood you up?’
‘Oh, he’s not a proper boyfriend. He seemed all right at the time. He was flirting with me all night, then we snogged each other’s faces off, then we made this date to link up and I went home with my friend Gayle.’
‘I see.’ Maxine wasn’t sure how to respond.
‘But I’d have loved to eat in the Tsunami. It looks so nice.’ The woman patted Maxine’s arm. ‘Do you want to see his picture?’
‘Who?’
‘Troy. Gayle took a photo of us together last night at the club.’ She held up her camera to show a sharp photo of herself dancing, with her arms around a man in a white jacket and trousers; his hair was short at the sides, undercut dreadlocks, a clipped beard.
Maxine said, ‘He looks like a footballer.’
‘Nah.’ The woman laughed, a careless confidence. ‘He works behind a bar.’
‘He’s very good-looking.’ Maxine gazed into the restaurant again. She was hungry.
‘He stood me up though.’ The woman pushed her hands deep into jumpsuit pockets. ‘You can’t trust some men.’
‘You’re right – you can’t – that’s why I’m eating by myself,’ Maxine said. Suddenly, it was obvious. ‘Oh – look. I’ve booked a table for two. Do you want to share?’
The woman’s mouth dropped open. ‘Are you joking?’
‘My…’ Maxine thought about how to phrase it. ‘My – partner and I had an argument earlier on. So I’m on my own. And I just retired from my job today, so I’m celebrating. There’s a spare seat at my table. So – join me. My treat?’
‘I’d bite your hand off to eat here,’ the girl said. ‘Your man must be a waste man.’
‘No, he’s in property,’ Maxine said, then she realised and laughed. ‘Yes, I think Russell is definitely a waste man. Troy too. Shall we go in and eat?’
‘Bring it on.’ The young woman rolled her eyes, and Maxine pushed open the door.
An hour later, Maxine and Ayeesha – that was the woman’s name – had polished off two Pinku No Hana cocktails each and several tempura bao buns. They were now tucking into Peri Pinku Yakitori and sushi rolls. Ayeesha licked her fingers and then her lips. ‘This is the best food ever.’
Maxine was delighted. ‘I love coming here. Russell and I always book… well, we used to.’
‘You’ve finished with him for good now?’ Ayeesha met her eyes. ‘If he’s banging your friend, you should chuck him out.’
‘Yes, I found them in bed together.’
‘Then I’d definitely kick him into touch, know what I mean?’ Ayeesha made a disgusted face and said, ‘Waste man,’ as if it was the lowest form of humanity.
‘Exactly.’ Maxine raised a finger and the waiter appeared at her shoulder. ‘Another cocktail, Ayeesha?’
‘Oh, yes, please.’
‘Two more Pinku No Hana cocktails, please.’ Maxine smiled. ‘I’m very fond of them.’
‘Too right. What’s that juice in it?’
‘It’s a pink martini with passionfruit liqueur, lemon juice, sugar and kumquat jam.’
‘It tastes like heaven.’ Ayeesha reached for her second glass with long pink acrylic nails and drank the dregs, looking around for the waiter for the refill. ‘So, Max, tell me what’s happening now with this man of yours. Are you going to throw him out in the street?’
‘I might.’
‘I feel sorry for that woman, Joanna.’ Ayeesha pulled a face. ‘He’s done the dirty on her too if he don’t want her now. And what about her man, Terry? He’s properly on the trash heap, innit.’
‘So…’ Maxine looked at Ayeesha thoughtfully. ‘What would you do if you were me?’
‘If I was you?’ Ayeesha reached for the cocktail glass the waiter had placed in front of her and giggled.
‘If I was a rich white woman with expensive shoes? Easy.’ She took a swig and smacked her lips.
‘I’d tell them all where to get off. I wouldn’t need none of them.
I got my own flat, I just retired and my bank balance is good. I’d go on holiday.’
‘Would you?’ Maxine leaned forward.
‘Yeh, I’d go to the Caribbean for a month and lie on the beach, get massages, drink cocktails, live it up.’ Ayeesha attacked a sushi roll. ‘It’d be just you, doing what you want, no one to tie you down and tell you what to do. That’s the life.’
‘You think that’s the perfect life?’ Maxine fingered the stem of her glass. ‘What about love?’
‘Love’s for losers. I was in love this one time.
’ Ayeesha sat up straight and glared, suddenly angry.
‘He was called Jayden. I was sixteen. We were together for a year. I gave that man everything he asked for.’ She returned to her sushi roll.
‘He turned out to be a no-good cheat, and I became wise. I said to myself, never again. My days, he broke my heart.’ She pushed the sushi into her mouth and chewed. ‘You?’
‘Me?’
‘You ever been in love, Max?’
Maxine played with the glass stem again. ‘Yes. I was, in my twenties. He was called Andy. I loved him very much.’ She took a breath. ‘He died. And after that…’
‘After that no one has ever been as good, yeah?’ Ayeesha sniffed. Maxine nodded sadly. ‘My gran’s about your age – a bit older. She looks it, anyway. She’s been married three times.’ Ayeesha gulped pink martini.
‘Oh?’ Maxine was fascinated. Some pearl of wisdom was about to drop from Ayeesha’s lips.
‘She says a woman needs three different men to love her properly in her whole life. The first one’s when she’s young so they can get it on good and proper – you know…’
Maxine didn’t, until Ayeesha rolled her eyes and her shoulders and made ‘mmm-mmm’ sounds. Then she knew.
‘So what about the other two?’
‘The first guy is just for the jiggy jiggy when you’re young and full of energy. It doesn’t matter about his personality as long as he’s fit. The second one’s the father to your children. He has to step up. But the third. Mmm, he’s the best.’
‘How?’
‘My gran says when you’re older, that’s when you need to meet the right man.
She’s with my grandad Neville now, and they’re proper soulmates.
My gran says the bangin’ sex and the babies are all right and it’s not like she’d chuck granddad out of bed or anything, but when you’re a mature woman, you want someone who’s the best companion as well.
Someone who loves you and is there for you and is just perfect for all your days.
’ Ayeesha narrowed her eyes. ‘Is Russell the best companion for you?’
‘No, he isn’t.’ Maxine didn’t hesitate.
‘Then you need to get rid.’ Ayeesha guzzled more cocktail. Her plate was clean. ‘Can we get dessert?’
‘We can.’ Maxine was still digesting Ayeesha’s wise advice. ‘What would you like?’
Ayeesha held the menu to her nose, staring at it. She giggled and turned it the right way up. ‘Chocolate Fondant with a Matcha Lava centre.’
‘Good choice,’ Maxine said.
Ayeesha suddenly reached out and grabbed Maxine’s hand. ‘This is just so kind of you.’
‘I’m grateful that you’re here. You’ve really helped me think about what to do about Russell.’
‘At the end of the day,’ Ayeesha said wisely, ‘some of them are good and some are just waste men.’ Then she burst out laughing.
‘How old are you?’ Maxine asked.
‘Twenty-two,’ Ayeesha said. ‘I’m wise for my years, nah?’
Behind her, the door opened and a handsome young couple came in. The woman was dressed in a cream suit, the man in jeans and a dark jacket. Ayeesha said, ‘Look at him. He’s good-looking and smart. She’s lucky – her man treats her right.’
Maxine met Ayeesha’s eyes. ‘Is that what you want? A partner who brings you here to eat and picks up the bill?’
‘No way.’ Ayeesha grinned. ‘Troy wasn’t the real deal. I got my own life, my own job, my independence. I pay my own way. A boyfriend would have to be very special to compete.’
‘Independence.’ Maxine raised her cocktail glass. ‘I’ll drink to that.’
Ayeesha chimed her glass against Maxine’s. ‘You and me, we’re women of the world, innit. We don’t have time for no waste man.’
‘I couldn’t agree more.’ Maxine breathed out slowly, glancing at the liquid that reflected the light in her glass, sparkling like a bright future. She’d made her mind up about Russell. ‘Now how about that dessert?’