Chapter 32
The next few days passed quickly, with shopping and visits to local markets. They went horse riding and swam in the sea. Jo looked fitter and happier than Maxine had seen her in a long time. And Maxine was enjoying having her to stay. They were bonding again.
Then on Thursday evening, Maxine met J-F.
They went to Ty Breizh, a small Breton restaurant in Chapellin, where she ate the most delicious savoury crêpes.
J-F seemed to have forgotten that he’d given up alcohol, as he was drinking cider from a small cup.
Maxine was drinking sparkling water; her car was parked outside ready for the journey home.
She leaned her cheek against her hand. ‘It’s been a perfect week.’
‘For me too,’ J-F said. ‘We’re doing good business with the canoes – the holiday season is starting, so we have plenty of visitors.’
‘That’s good.’
‘And I feel healthier. This morning I went for a run. Only three kilometres, but I felt good.’
Maxine laughed. ‘It would kill me to run 3K.’
‘Maybe we can run together. I’d like that.’ J-F looked more relaxed. ‘I meant to tell you – I met an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time – Raphael. We were at school together. We had dinner.’
‘That’s nice.’
‘I told him how wonderful you are.’
‘Oh?’
‘He asked me if I’d fallen in love. But I said you’re a good friend and that you help me.’
‘We help each other.’
‘The next day, I spent an evening reading Noémie’s letters. I cried and cried.’
‘Is it too soon?’
‘I think so.’
‘I still have all Andy’s letters. I keep them in a box…’
‘Noémie’s are at the bottom of the drawer with my boxer shorts.’ J-F managed a smile. ‘So – your friend arrived from England?’
‘Jo’s settling in. When she first arrived, I had to clear the air. You know she slept with my partner.’
‘Yet she’s still your friend?’
‘Yes, we always got on well, and we’re reconnecting.
It’s really nice. She was a victim of Russell’s ego, anyway.
And now she’s here, I want her to feel better about herself.
Fliss has been brilliant – we’ve been out with Manu and Théo, visited the standing stones, been horse-riding.
’ She reached across the table for his hand to give it a friendly squeeze. ‘You must come with us next time.’
‘I’d like that.’
‘Let’s all have dinner soon.’
‘That would be lovely. Max – I want to ask you something.’ J-F gazed up at the hovering waiter. ‘But shall we have a dessert first?’
‘What do you recommend?’
‘More crêpes – the sweet ones with apples and Lambig – Breton brandy – and ice cream. You’ll like it.’
‘I’m sure I will,’ Maxine agreed.
J-F turned to the waiter. ‘Je prends deux crêpes aux pommes avec du lambig et de la glace.’
The young waiter nodded briefly and was gone.
‘What did you want to ask me?’ Maxine leaned forward.
‘Andy – your fiancé – where’s he resting now?’
Maxine was taken aback – she hadn’t expected the question. She took a deep breath. ‘He’s buried in Battersea Rise.’
‘Is that near where you live?’
‘It is.’
‘And do you visit him?’
‘I used to, all the time.’
‘And now?’
‘Once a week, when I was in London – sometimes less.’ Maxine thought for a moment. ‘At first it gave me comfort. I even used to talk to him. I felt as if he were listening. As if he knew. But perhaps I was wrong.’
J-F’s eyes were filled with emotion. ‘So where do you believe he is?’
‘In my heart.’
‘I was thinking. I might go to the place where Noémie’s ashes are. After the funeral, I went with her brother and her mother, and we sprinkled them over the headland at Pointe de Cornouaille. It was a place she loved. But it hurts to remember. Do you think I should go?’
‘I don’t know. Would it make you feel closer to her?’
‘It might give me comfort.’
‘Then yes, go.’
‘Or it might break my heart again.’ J-F looked up and said, ‘Merci,’ as the waiter placed two dishes on the table. ‘Let’s not talk about sad things.’
Maxine examined his face to make sure he was ready to move the conversation on. He was already tucking into his dessert, so she did the same.
‘So, we’ll have dinner this weekend?’
‘We must,’ J-F said. ‘And we’ll go somewhere on the Harley. You enjoy being on the bike with me?’
‘I do.’
‘I like it too, with you sitting close behind. And being by the sea makes me happy.’ J-F reached for his cup of cider. ‘But when you go back to London, I’ll lose a good friend.’
Maxine smiled. ‘I’m not thinking about going home yet.’
‘But Jo’s husband is living in your flat. And Russell…’
‘I have nothing to say to Russell.’ Maxine made a small fist. ‘And Terry and Jo need to sort out their lives.’
‘You’re a strong person – I admire that,’ J-F said.
‘I think exactly the same about you,’ Maxine said. ‘So – the dessert’s lovely. Shall we have coffee?’
‘That would be nice.’ J-F raised a hand to get the waiter’s attention; he mimed holding a cup and drinking and the waiter nodded. ‘Is Jo at the cottage now?’
‘The last I saw of her was when we went shopping to Le Phare with Fliss this afternoon. She and Fliss bought so many clothes. Fliss was bargaining with the poor assistant, asking for discounts, buy one get one free. They’re both up at Rose Falaise now, drinking wine.’
‘I like Fliss,’ J-F said. ‘She has so much joie de vivre.’
‘She does. Is there an English phrase for joie de vivre?’ Maxine wondered as the waiter brought two small cups over. ‘Life’s been full of it these last couple of weeks. I’ll be sad to go home.’
‘Maybe you won’t stay there for long. As Napoleon said, “L’impossible n’est pas francais.”’
Maxine sipped coffee. ‘What did he mean by that?’
‘We French people don’t believe in the word impossible. So, when you go home, I think you’ll definitely come back to Plouvannec.’
‘I love these French sayings,’ Maxine said. ‘Tell me some more.’
J-F thought for a moment. ‘Petit à petit, l’oiseau fait son nid.’
‘The bird builds its nest bit by bit.’
‘Which means that we move forward slowly. We’ll rebuild our lives a small piece at a time. And this one – Quand on n’a pas ce que l’on aime, il faut aimer ce que l’on a.’
‘Explain.’
‘When you don’t have the thing you love, you must love the thing you have.’
‘Isn’t that a sad saying? You have to put up with second best?’
‘That’s not what it means,’ J-F said. ‘People should be happy with what they have. I’m contented. It has been wonderful to talk, to eat. What more can I want?’
‘I agree.’ Maxine stood up. ‘Perhaps we should go now. It’s been a long day, but it’s been lovely.’
‘It’s been special. I’ll pay the waiter and see you to your car.’ J-F pushed his arm through hers.
‘I’ve enjoyed myself,’ Maxine agreed. ‘So, we’ll catch up at the weekend. Let’s go to Le Shack and you can meet Jo. You’ll like her. Manu and Théo will be there too.’
‘There’s another good French saying that comes to me now.’ J-F’s eyes twinkled mischievously.
‘What’s that?’
‘Ce que femme veut, Dieu le veut.’ J-F laughed. ‘Whatever a woman wants, God wants too. I can’t refuse anything you wish for.’
The lights were on in the cottage when Maxine parked the car and music was blaring inside. It was past eleven.
Jo was wide awake, wearing a yellow silk dress and a pair of red shoes, drinking red wine, dancing to Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’. She held up the bottle as Maxine came in. ‘Merlot?’
‘I might have a small one – I’ve been on sparkling water tonight.’
Jo poured wine into a half-pint glass. Maxine shouted, ‘Stop,’ before it was almost half full.
‘I have to use big glasses – I don’t want to spill wine on my new dress. What do you think? Does it suit me?’ Jo gave a twirl.
‘It does – I was there when you bought it, remember. Fliss bought a black one and got you both a discount.’
‘You should’ve bought the silver-grey one.’
‘I bought a scarf. And I didn’t need that.’
‘It’s a beautiful wrap – perfect when the sea breeze comes in.’
‘You’re really adapting to French life,’ Maxine said.
‘I’m having the best time with you and Fliss and Manu and Théo.’ Jo swigged her wine and chuckled. ‘So – which one do you like best?’
‘Which one?’
‘Manu or Théo? Manu’s good-looking but Théo’s more charming.’
Maxine sighed. It looked as if Jo was reverting back to her old tricks. Then she reminded herself: she’d been unsettled and giddy at first too.
She understood why she’d been vulnerable. It was acclimatisation, metamorphosis.
Jo was going through similar changes. She needed time to adjust. But this wasn’t a conversation Maxine wanted to have now. Jo needed the space to find the new version of herself, just as she had.
Jo had other ideas. ‘Tell me about J-F. You’re keeping him secret. I can’t wait to meet him.’
‘Jo…’ Maxine took a long breath. ‘He recently lost his wife. We talk about his memories.’
‘Oh, you must think I’m so shallow.’ Jo took another swig of wine. ‘But Terry doesn’t care what I do. It wouldn’t matter if I had a small fling.’ She met Maxine’s eyes. ‘After all, I’ll be going back home soon. I might as well make hay while the sun shines.’
‘Have you said any of this to Fliss?’
‘No. But she and Manu were lovers in Paris.’
‘They were – but she wouldn’t approve now. Don’t you think, Jo—’ Maxine chose her words ‘—Manu and Théo aren’t objects to pick up and discard, just like Russell did to you?’
‘You’re right.’ The remark hit home. Jo stopped swaying and finished her glass of wine in two gulps. Her face crumpled. ‘But nobody wants me. Not Terry. Not Russell. I feel ordinary – just like anybody else.’
‘You are anybody else – we all are.’
‘But I hoped Manu or Théo might find me attractive.’
‘Do you want them to see you as an opportunity? Or get to know you and value the lovely person you are?’
‘Oh, damn.’ Jo looked as if she’d been slapped. ‘I’m making the same mistake again, Max.’ Her voice was tiny. ‘I envy what Fliss has with her friends, that warmth. And you too. You both make it look so easy.’
‘It’s not difficult if you don’t complicate things.’
‘But I’m – lonely.’
‘And will a roll in the sheets keep loneliness away?’ Maxine’s words reminded her that she’d been there too, not so long ago.
Jo sniffed. ‘Oh, what’s wrong with me? I know I should stop being a wimp and get my life on track. Drinking and flirting isn’t the answer.’
‘It isn’t.’ Maxine hugged her.
‘You’re right. Time for bed.’ Jo pushed herself from Maxine’s embrace. ‘Tomorrow I’ll be the new Jo. Hey – yes – do you fancy a run on the beach first thing?’
‘Why not?’
‘And I promise, it’s not about bumping into the gorgeous Manu in his shorts – did you notice he was wearing them this afternoon up at Rose Falaise?’
‘Bedtime.’ Maxine took the half-empty bottle of wine and screwed the lid back on. ‘We’ll make plans over breakfast.’
‘Mmm – j’adore les croissants,’ Jo murmured as she made her way to the stairs.
‘Right. It’s time to focus on what we women really need.’ Maxine finished her wine as she watched her go. She said quietly, ‘Ce que femme veut, Dieu le veut.’
J-F’s words had given her an idea. She’d organise a special night, just for the girls. Some food, drink, conversation with Shirl and Fliss, maybe Béa too.
A crones’ circle.