Chapter Nine
Birdie
I lean forward and sit deep with a tight hold on the reins. Yet for the first time today, I can finally let go.
The rush of wind covers my sobs. The hoofbeats pound over my racing heart. Every meter of land we pass brings me closer to home.
When I breathe in deep, it’s filled with the comforting scent of grass and leather and horse. Mimi's huge, warm body carries me away from everything that hurts, like I weigh nothing, like my feelings and hers are the same, like I’m not a burden at all but a small part of her powerful form.
This is what I needed.
To be something else. To disappear completely.
Together, we tear down the road, just running and running and letting it all out. As we approach a turn, she veers onto a dirt path. There’s a network of trails off-road, and several of them lead to the edge of my property. So I let her go. Rather than slow down on the rougher terrain, she keeps the same pace. And as my body maintains the calm needed of a rider, I let my emotions run wild.
The cool, misty rain mixes with the salt of my tears. I close my eyes and let Mimi sprint as fast as she wants, wherever she wants.
I let out a furious scream I can barely hear.
He left me! The stable, small-town guy I thought I could trust with a stable, small-town future jilted me at the altar, even after I did everything right, everything he wanted. And now I’m careening toward a future with no plan.
I feel like I’m circling in a wastewater whirlpool right before everything slips down the drain. It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does. I’m not in control anymore. Have I ever been?
Mimi whinnies and lets out a choking plume of smoke from her nose. She’s riding so hard she’s trembling, like her fast-twitch muscles are going haywire. And her smoke-filled exhales seem much too quick.
I lay my palm at the base of her neck and realize she’s burning up. Under my fingers, her mane starts to glow, from gray-blue to a luminescent orange. And with it comes more heat.
What on earth?
She darts right suddenly and I catch a glimpse of one of her eyes, pure orange and lit from within. No pupil in sight. The color of her mane continues to transform before me, blazing a heat that’s borderline uncomfortable. This isn’t good.
“Mimolette,” my voice catches, hoarse from all the crying, barely audible above the wind and pounding beat of her hooves. She veers left suddenly, and we’re half sliding, half stumbling down a hill. I screech and dig my heels into the stirrups.
Instead of slowing down when she reaches the bottom, she shakes her head, the now fully glowing mane sliding along my skin like a sunburn, and speeds up.
A voice shouts behind me. I spin around and almost fall out of the saddle, seeing a flash of my other horse, Gigi, and a demon.
Is that—
“Mimi, please slow down,” I cry out as she jumps over a fallen branch and I struggle to stay on, descending into a new type of panic. No matter how much I pull on the reins, she ignores me. “Please.”
“Fuck’s sake, woman.”
I know that voice. It is him.
“Rex!” I whip just my head around. He’s closer now, coming up on the left which makes Mimi skip further right. Her hooves kick up rocks that tumble off the side of a cliff.
A cliff?!
We skirt around a section of brush and then we’re headed straight down again. An incline so steep I nearly topple over the front of her head, my chest and stomach instantly hot from laying against her mane. The side of my bodice snags in one of her horns before I manage to dig in and lean back enough to stay on.
Only to see we’re headed toward a steaming body of water. A familiar, if infamous, sight. The deadly Sula Hot Springs.
I’ve never been this close to the half dozen pond-sized pockets of turquoise water that boast the hottest recorded temperature of any hot spring in the West. They stay that hot because they border an active lava pit.
The Sula Hot Springs will kill a human on contact, either from the scalding evaporating mist or the skin-melting water. Or both.
“I’m gonna die,” I whisper.
We’re headed straight toward a translucent white mist that’s about to turn me into goo. Still more than fifty feet away, the first blast of singeing, sulfuric air slams into me, causing an immediate, full-body sweat. And Mimi powers forward, fully intent on jumping in. Even her legs are glowing, hooves on fire as they pound against the hard-packed dirt trail.
“Oh shit, I’m really gonna die.” My last thought is that at least she seems impervious. Maybe she’ll survive even if I don’t.
Just before we reach the edge, she rears back.
A rider on horseback emerges from the mist, leaving the shallow edge of the steaming water in a dramatic splash. A giant horned figure with black flames on his neck on a blue-gray horse with flaming mane and hooves.
“Gigi,” I gasp out my mama horse’s name. And Rex, her rider.
Both have pitch-black eyes with an orange flame center like they’re completely connected—body and mind—as they rise from the bright-blue water, framed by the neon lava flow behind them.
It’s like something out of a beautiful nightmare.
No, a dangerous dream.
I'm flung back as Mimi bucks, only managing to stay on the saddle by pitching my weight to counterbalance and grasping her mane with a burning hand.
Rex and Gigi work as one, still dripping with steaming water, first with a full-body block to the left when Mimi tries to dart that direction, then they spring right. Focused in purpose, they force us backward, one stuttering step at a time.
With clucking noises and a mastery of horsemanship I didn’t know he had, Rex leads us into a flat clearing surrounded by blackened trees. Every twitch in my nervous Mimi is responded to by Rex and Gigi as if they’re of twin minds to soothe her.
In a last effort to escape being corralled, Mimi surges again. I grip the pommel with a white-knuckled fist. Her reins start slipping through my hand, so I glance left.
Rex is off horse and on foot next to us, sliding the reins slowly toward him.
“Be careful!” I shout.
“Says the renegade runaway bride,” he says, while keeping his eery orange-black eyes trained on Mimi.
“You spooked her.”
“Did not,” Rex says.
“We were fine until—”
“Shut that pretty mouth of yours, Birdie Lynn.” His jaw clenches, nostrils flaring. “We need to calm this horse more than you need to yell at me. Her third eye is open, and you’re her bonded rider.”
“That-that—” I stammer. Her bonded rider ?
“She feels what you feel,” his voice is calmer now, like a lullaby. “How about you take a deep fucking breath?”
That’s just a myth. An old wives’ tale. But when Mimi’s head swivels left toward me, I see the truth in the glow of her wide-open orange eyes. It’s not just the two. Her third eye is open, and she’s dancing on her feet, as flighty and upset and confused as I feel.
Did I cause this?
Rex wraps his fist around her reins a second time and eases closer still. Raising his free hand, his fingers start to glow, ember yellow-white at the tips fading to orange-red and black down his palm. A shower of sparks float in the air.
I exhale in wonder. Incredible .
Mimi settles slowly, ears perking up and forward, stomps going softer. She’s nervous but curious. Maybe I am too. Our breathing connects. Her tongue licks out and catches the first spark. When she huffs, I sigh. Our deep inhale is shared, filling me down to my bones.
I’ve never seen her third eye open. It’s beautiful. A small black flame is visible in the center of it now. She’s completely enthralled by Rex’s fire magic and, it seems, also bonded to me.
“Good girl,” he says at the same time I do. His hand moves slowly toward her mouth as he feeds her more shimmering specks of fire from his palm. “Sweet girl. You’re alright.” He rubs her nose. Grown calmer, all the frenetic stress that’s possessed her since we sprinted out of town is nowhere to be found in her giant frame.
My heart squeezes knowing that I did this. I put her in danger, both of us, because I completely lost it. My chin trembles, but before I start crying for the second time today, I’m pulled out of the saddle completely.
Rex throws me over his shoulder.
“How dare—” I shout. “Put me down!”
“And let you try and kill yourself again? I’ll pass. You’re sticking with me, honey.”
Honey?! I growl and ball my fists into his white shirt, which only reminds me how huge and strong he is. Gah!
Am I relieved to be alive? Sure. But I’m also a total mess—upset and annoyed and uncomfortable and a thousand other emotions. Why is it Rex of all people who has to see me like this?
“Up you go.” He throws me like a sack of potatoes into Gigi’s saddle and jumps up behind me before I can even get my bearings. Her mane is already shifting from bright orange to lavender gray again. His fists grip her reins above mine. I note that he’s also holding Mimi’s reins, who’s settled in beside us, letting her mom nuzzle up and down her neck.
“I got it,” he grunts.
I tense, but let the reins go in favor of the pommel.
“I’m not a bad rider,” I whisper.
“Just an emotional one.”
I growl.
“Easy.” He laughs, though neither of our emotions seem to rattle the horses. Maybe we cancel each other out. I clearly have no idea.
“You’re a good rider, Birdie Lynn,” he says after making a clicking sound to get the horses moving in a slow walk forward. “That’s clear as day. Just maybe think twice before racing out of town with a broken heart . . . on an Umbran horse.”
Not my finest moment, I’ll admit, but it’s little wonder the possibility didn’t occur to me. I didn’t realize there was truth to how affected they can be by emotions. They’ve never reacted like this before.
Do I keep my feelings that tightly held?
Already, I can sense the tightness in my chest as I work to control my breathing and straighten my posture. I didn’t even have to think of it. It’s usually so easy to just close up. No more pesky emotions. But today, right now, it’s harder to do.
I almost hurt my horse.
I almost got myself killed.
I was jilted at the altar by my fiancé.
And to top it all off, the guy I’ve been avoiding or fighting with for months is the one who showed up to help?
The scream inside me rattles around my stomach and up my throat but stops short. I cannot lose it again. I just have to keep it together a little longer.
My fingers flex on the pommel until the knuckles go white and I can feel the sunburn-like sting on my palms. This is so awkward. I’m damp from the rain in a torn wedding dress with my veils twisted around an arm somehow, sharing a saddle with the man who does nothing but set me on edge. My heart pounds erratically with some mix of adrenaline, embarrassment, and . . . relief.
Rex is cool as a cucumber as we make our way onto my property and find our way to the barn. Well, he’s not cool . He’s overly warm, blazing that signature demon heat behind me, all around me. I’m practically sitting in his lap. His legs are snug and firm, right alongside mine. His big burly arms cage me in, resting lightly on the tops of my thighs. Even his cheek slots right alongside mine.
And though we don't talk—he stays blessedly silent—his every measured exhale is right next to my ear. His chest rises and falls like a living mountain behind me.
He feels secure. Good.
Safe.
I don’t like it.
Before I know it, we reach the horses’ paddock. Rex hops off first and catches my waist to steady me as I slide down too. Immediately, I work to untack and groom on a frenzied autopilot.
“I’ve got it.” Rex removes the curry comb slowly from my hand. “I’ll get the gear off and you can give them a good cleaning soon. Not right now though, okay?”
I glare at him, and all I see is a gentle concern.
Oh no. Oh no! He’s right. I’m too emotional. I could set them off again, put them in danger. My lungs squeeze.
“I’ve got it,” he repeats, his tone even quieter, like he’s calming me. Rex is never this nice to me. I don’t like it!
“Fine!” I race to the house on foot. My heart rate works back up to a breakneck pace, the heat rising within me once again. All the emotions of the day choke to get out, and I don’t know how much longer it will be before I explode.