Chapter 16
Penelope
Two days.
Two days of pacing, barely sleeping, barely eating. When I do sleep, it’s in an armchair in the infirmary. I’m restless and fitful, my mind riddled with flashbacks, be they Roman, the Whisper Club, the body hanging in the doorway, the blade penetrating Dahlia’s chest.
That’s the one that repeats the most.
Over and over. And no matter how I try to distract myself, when I close my eyes, it’s all I see.
Dahlia’s siblings don’t need to sleep the way I do, so they all sit in a state of stillness that unnerves me. They’re conserving their energy so they don’t need to feed. And given the bloodshed from the past couple of days, and the fact Roman had been turned, it’s probably for the best.
By the third day, though, they reanimate, and this time, they’re hungry.
Quinn, Remy, Bella and Scarlett all donate a pint of blood which Xavier, Gabriel and Red gratefully drink. Octavia refuses, she’s still blaming herself and trying to ease out the political shitstorm that was unleashed after the wedding.
The one saving grace is that Calandra allowed Octavia and Xavier to compel every guest at the wedding to forget, save a handful of her council members. They are trying to get on. It’s taking a lot of give and take and compromise, but their relationship has remained intact.
“How are you doing?” Red asks as I join her and Quinn outside Dahlia’s room.
“I thought you said she’d be awake by now,” I whine at Quinn. The exterior windows in her room are covered and darkened so no light filters through. But the inner windows through to the hall we’re in are made of glass. Her siblings all rest in various chairs and positions like sentinels.
“I thought she would be too, but I’m not trained as a vampire doctor, I only have limited knowledge from the study I did.” She squeezes my arm. “We did everything we could, but the fact she hasn’t and isn’t desiccating is a good sign.”
Quinn and Red leave to find their friends, so I re-enter the room and sit on the bed holding Dahlia’s hand. Time drifts, the room warming and cooling as the sun rises and then sets again. Someone brings me food, which I reluctantly pick at.
Sometime in the early evening, I take my place by Dahlia again and slip my hand into hers. I rub my thumb along the back of her hand the way she did to me at the ceremony.
She twitches.
I sit bolt upright.
“Dahlia?” I gasp.
Octavia rushes to my side, Gabriel too. He places his book on the bed and perches on the side opposite me.
“Is she awake?” Gabriel asks.
“I…” I say, but I don’t know. “I swear her hand moved under my touch.”
Xavier joins us now. “Come on, Dah, stop being dramatic and wake up.”
Her hand twitches again. And finally, her eyelids flutter open. She squeezes her hand around mine, a slow grin pulling at her lips.
“Dahlia?” Gabriel says, leaning forward.
Dahlia’s gaze flits to her brother. “Ugh. Penelope was a great view to wake up to. You… not so much.”
He laughs and whacks her with the book.
“Oww, watch it, I was mortally injured, don’t you know,” Dahlia says, rubbing her arm.
“Yeah, she’s going to be fine.” Octavia smiles.
“Glad to have you back, Dahlia. If you’ll excuse me, I need to ready our carriage, we’re all a little hungry to say the least. I’m sorry to pull you away so quickly, but I’m not sure how much longer I can last without feeding.
I’m assuming now you’re awake, your body is back to vampire speed and healing and thus well enough to travel? ”
Dahlia stretches, cracking her neck this way and that. Her fingers paw at her chest, uncovering a silvery scar in the middle of her sternum. But she nods. “I’m good.”
“Excellent, you have about ten minutes.” With that, Octavia sweeps out of the room, and Dahlia’s face falls as she locks eyes with me.
My stomach sinks hearing that they’re going to leave so soon after she’s woken. I thought maybe we’d get a day or two more while she recovered. But I forgot that vampires heal fast. Besides, we knew once the wedding was over there would be no need for them to stay.
Dahlia pushes herself upright.
Xavier ruffles her hair. She swats him and he beams at her. “Glad you’re okay.”
Xavier and Gabriel follow Octavia out, leaving Dahlia and me on our own.
“Hey,” I say. My ears grow hot; my stomach is dancing in strange, agitated kicks.
“Hey yourself,” she says.
But I don’t know where we go from here. I don’t know how to talk to her anymore. Everything is jagged and broken.
“Pen?” she says.
I can’t bring myself to look at her, so I fiddle with the bed sheets.
What if she regrets saving me? What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me because it was my fault she was injured?
I mean, she is leaving today, so what’s the point in dragging any of this out?
She probably just wants to be rid of me so that she can go back to her vampire city and find some vampire princess to be with instead.
“Penelope…” she says, more insistent.
“Hmm?” I focus on pulling a thread from the sheet. She tuts and sweeps me onto her lap and into her arms.
“Penelope Lee,” she says, pulling my chin to face her.
“Yes,” I breathe. Our lips are close. Where her fingers brush my jaw, my cheek, my throat, electricity brims under my skin. Like it calls to her. An insistent need that will go forever unanswered.
I want to close my eyes and fall into her.
“I…” Dahlia starts and then her words falter, falling away into the space between us.
“I’ve had an amazing time,” she says. But it doesn’t feel real.
It feels like a plaster used to cover up the truth of where we are.
That we both knew this was fleeting. That once the wedding was over, it—we, us, whatever we were for those few hours—would be over too.
And that’s where we are.
My insides harden. I cannot and will not cry in front of her.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if something happened to you because of me,” I say.
“How long was I out?”
“Three days.”
Her fingers twine through the strap of my now filthy bridesmaid’s dress. I really need a shower and change of clothes.
“You stayed the whole time,” she whispers.
“Yeah…” And I don’t know why she’s asking these questions. Why she’s dragging this out. So what, I stayed. It doesn’t change anything. She’s still a vampire. I’m still a magician. We’re still from different cities, and it still won’t work.
I shuffle off her lap as she gets out of bed.
Octavia reappears at the window and waves for Dahlia to join them before vanishing again.
“I have to go,” she says.
I nod. “Well… thank you, for… you know. Everything. Guarding me. Taking a knife for me… For… everything else.”
She makes for the door and then stops. My mind flashes back to that first night we met in the Whisper Club. It was me leaving then, now it’s her. This way around is so much worse.
And just like I did, she returns, pulling me into her arms and plunging her lips onto mine.
She kisses me hard and soft, her hands skimming every inch of skin as if she’s memorising me.
As if she’s touching every piece of me before she can’t anymore.
Her tongue weaves its way into my mouth, caressing, stroking, ravishing.
She moans into the kiss. And I hate her in this moment.
I hate her because as my legs weaken, she steals pieces of me: my heart, my soul, my love.
And in its place, she leaves an indescribable agony.
It cracks and splinters, sinking into the fibres of my body.
This is the last kiss.
The last touch.
The last embrace.
I never wanted this. But I got it anyway.
I kiss her back, hard. Angry now. Pissed. My fingers claw at her scalp, needing more of her, tugging her closer. Wishing I could peel our bodies apart and stitch us together as one.
We kiss for long enough my lips tingle and swell. I refuse to let go. But it doesn’t matter. Last time I pulled away. This time it’s her.
It’s over too quick. I need more.
But she’s by the door. She pauses, her back to me. Her head tilts as if she wants to say something.
She doesn’t.
The door clicks shut, and I am alone, one long, wet streak running down my cheek.