Chapter 13 Leo #2
I didn’t realize quite how much time had passed until the front door opened and Ven stepped in. Like usual, all the cats ran to greet her, but unlike usual, she didn’t call out her normal phrase.
Something was wrong.
I was on my feet in an instant and rounded the corner to the small foyer at the front of the house.
I could tell just by looking at the beautiful woman that she seemed so very defeated, and when her scent hit me, it confirmed it.
It was bitter, acrid, with a strong rush of melancholy.
My nose burned, and my heart ached for her.
What was wrong? What could have happened?
Not for the first time, I wished that there was something I could do for her.
“Are you okay?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to pry too much.
“I’ll survive,” she said flatly. “I need to feed the cats.”
She drifted past me, her scent lingering like camphor from a fire. I didn’t know if she wanted privacy, but since she hadn’t said it directly, I followed after her.
She didn’t say anything for a long while, but that was okay.
I was comfortable with the silence. I was used to weeks of it at a time when I was a wolf.
She uttered the occasional request, like to pull something out of the fridge or grab something from a shelf, but that was about it.
She didn’t seem irritated at my presence, though.
Not even when I followed her out to the garden.
Perhaps it was strange, but it made me feel incredibly close to her.
Something was clearly troubling Vanessa, and I remembered that usually meant people wanted space.
To be alone. But Ven didn’t seem to mind my presence at all.
No, to me, it seemed like she appreciated it.
Especially when I helped her carry several trays of her plants to the garden.
Although I was dying to ask her what was wrong, I held my tongue and did as she instructed, placing certain potted plants in different areas. When I wasn’t needed, I sat on a low stool a short distance away, hoping my company would give her some comfort.
God, I wanted to reach out and touch her. Wanted to wrap my arms around her and pull her flush against my chest. Her body would feel like heaven against mine. But our relationship wasn’t like that, so I remained on my stool.
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in this world.”
She spoke out of nowhere so suddenly I almost didn’t catch it right away. I immediately looked up from the stick I had been fiddling with, giving her my full attention.
“There are all these things people are supposed to do as a matter of course, but they don’t seem like a matter of course to me, and sometimes it feels like everyone around me can just tell that I don’t get it.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, completely mystified. I hated seeing Ven so hurt, but I was afraid I didn’t quite understand what she was talking about. To me, it sounded like she didn’t have any sort of community, any sort of family, and I simply couldn’t imagine that.
Although my memories were hazy, I knew I had grown up surrounded with a core group of people I could trust. And while I could feel there was tragedy wound up in it, I had never been truly alone, even as an alpha. Although I was slightly hazy on what exactly it meant to be an alpha.
“For what it’s worth,” I hedged cautiously, “I like to think I get you.”
She huffed a dry laugh full of pain and derision, and I didn’t like the sound when it was directed at herself. “I suppose it says something about me that a wolf who’s trying to connect to his humanity after being cursed understands me better than any humans I know.”
“Or it says something about you being able to break the curse that denied me my humanity.”
I caught the change in her scent before I noticed her cheeks redden. A streak of pride went through me because I’d made her blush. “You’re biased.”
“It doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“Touché,” she murmured before returning her attention to the plants.
I wanted the conversation to continue, but I sensed Ven was grappling with her own internal struggle.
I wanted to take her hand, tell her everything would be okay, but I had no way of knowing that.
At least I could take solace in the fact that the bitterness in her scent had faded slightly.
Even if she didn’t believe my compliments, it had cheered her up a bit.
And while that was enough for the moment, I found myself wishing yet again that I could do more.
I felt a bit helpless, not like an alpha at all.
Although I supposed Ven wasn’t technically my pack, but I still felt like I should be protecting her.
How, though, did I protect her from a world I was only just beginning to remember?
So much from before I was cursed was still fuzzy, but I could faintly recall most of my time as a wolf. Even as an animal, I had places I could go that were havens of a sort. Ports in the storm of life where I could be at peace.
“Ven,” I murmured, not wanting to jolt her as she scribbled something onto a label, then placed it next to the starter she was planting—a variety of tomato given the trellis she’d buried it next to.
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to go for a walk with me?”
She fully paused what she was doing to lift her head and gave me a curious look. God, I didn’t think I would ever grow tired of her gaze on me. “Where to?”
“A place I used to go when I wanted to forget about the rest of the world.”
I was fully prepared for her to say no, but to my surprise, she nodded. “Why not? Maybe a change of scenery will do me good.” Standing, she stuck her trowel upright in the dirt and wiped her hands on her pants. “By all means, lead the way.”
“All right, then.”
I stood and walked to the western side of her property, away from the garden.
Ven trudged after me, but I was half-afraid to turn around and make sure she was there, as if doubting her presence would somehow make her vanish entirely.
I was nervous to show her something that had solely belonged to my wolf self, afraid it would somehow make me backslide into my half-existence of before, but the risk seemed worth it.
Because for the first time in a long time, it felt like I had a pack again.
And I would do anything for my pack.