Chapter 14 Vanessa #2
“Homey…” Leo repeated in the tone he used whenever he was being particularly thoughtful about something. “I used to come here with someone, I think. When we wanted to get away from things.”
The streak of jealousy that went through me nearly knocked me off my feet because it made no sense. “Who?”
“I… I don’t know. But I do know they were important.
” He flashed me a sad smile that made all jealousy vanish and guilt take its place.
I had no right to resent Leo for having his own life.
In fact, I should have been working harder to help him remember his life before the curse.
“It’s strange to think that all this time I was so close to you. ”
“Well, I’ve only lived here for three years, so depending on when you and your friend escaped here, maybe it was before me.”
“Yeah, maybe. I wish I could remember.”
“I wish you could, too.”
We stood there, caught up in the heaviness of it all. Although it sounded downright insane, sometimes it was easy to forget Leo had been a strange, giant wolf I’d discovered by random chance. He so often felt like a friend I’d known for ages. A cherished companion visiting after a long trip away.
“I should build a fire,” Leo said eventually. “It makes it nice and cozy in here. Wish I had some venison to roast over it.” He licked his lips, and I tried very valiantly not to follow the movement of his tongue.
It was entirely unfair that Leo seemed to have absolutely no idea just how attractive he was.
From his chiseled jaw to his movie star smile, it was like he was specifically designed to entice me.
Not that I was complaining. I appreciated the eye candy, but sometimes I felt a bit guilty for ogling him.
“Do you want my help?” I asked.
“You can help me gather up some tinder if you want.”
“I don’t mind at all.”
Using my cellphone to light the way, we went back out.
Stepping into the hazy sun of the late afternoon was a stark transition from the darkness of the cave interior, but it was a welcome one.
Leo and I searched for small sticks, pieces of bark, and other things that would work for kindling.
Once we were sure we had enough, he sent me back inside while he looked for bigger sticks.
Despite my lack of camping experience, I had plenty of experience with starting a fire.
In high school, bonfires had been the one social event I felt relatively comfortable with, since they were held outside and pretty low-key.
No one ever expected me to act a certain way or even hold a conversation.
I could just be and pretend I was like everyone else.
Like I wasn’t an orphan with a guardian who clearly didn’t want me.
Like I wasn’t a kid who had killed her own mother.
I banished that thought from my head as hard as I could, choosing instead to focus on arranging the tinder in the most efficient way possible.
But even with my best efforts to lock my mind down like a vise, tears pricked at my eyes.
Even after almost two decades, I could still envision that night like it was yesterday.
“Vanessa! Sweetie! Where are you?”
I knew I needed to call back, but I couldn’t. It was so hot, and the smoke was so thick. I couldn’t think. I needed to hide. Needed to be safe from the—
“Are you okay?”
I jerked my head up sharply, knocking over half of the little teepee I had been building. Cursing under my breath, I tried to recover from the memory I had slipped into. While Leo was busy trying to regain his memories, I was trying to erase the ones that haunted me.
“Yeah, yeah. Just thinking about stuff.”
“More about work?”
Not really, but I gladly took the escape route. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I took a deep breath, settling myself and looking inward so I could answer that question honestly. I didn’t like lying to Leo, but I’d never told a single soul about that fateful night. “Right now, I’d like to build a fire.”
“I can do that.”
“We can do that,” I corrected gently.
The smile Leo sent me was so sweet it could have given me a cavity.
I didn’t know how such a large, hulking man could make me feel so safe with a single facial expression, but he did.
Together, we built a very small campfire.
Anything too big would smoke and heat us out of the cave space, even if it was bigger than my own living room.
Once the fire was roaring, Leo and I moved to the chairs and watched the flames crackle.
There was something hypnotic about it, soothing in its destruction, invigorating in its power.
Fire was one of the many conundrums of nature.
I’d feared it for a long time, which wasn’t exactly surprising.
In fact, it was those high school bonfires that had first allowed me to see the good parts of it.
“It’s so nice to slow down and just be,” I mused after a long stretch of silence. The quiet between Leo and me wasn’t uncomfortable. It just… was.
“I understand what you mean.”
“You do?”
Leo nodded. “I’m still figuring things out, but I do remember a time where I felt like there were never enough hours in the day.
I was a leader, and I was so busy trying to make sure the members of my pack could live their lives and prosper that I forgot to take any time for myself.
I was supposed to take a mate, have kids, you know all of that stuff, but it just felt like there wasn’t enough room for that. ”
A leader, huh? For some reason, that made complete sense to me. Although he wasn’t the biggest talker, I’d always sensed a great intelligence behind Leo’s eyes. He was always learning, always observing, and he wasn’t afraid to ask questions—a trait I was particularly fond of.
“I can’t imagine being responsible for so many people’s lives,” I murmured, staring into the flames. Strange how something so beautiful had ruined my life.
At least, that’s what I used to think. Lately, however, it was hard not to feel like things were going all right for once. I had my garden, I had my cats, and although money was tight, we were about to go into a harvesting season, which meant I could really cut down on my grocery budget.
“You are responsible for lives. Yourself, your cats. Mine.”
“That doesn’t count,” I said quickly.
“Why not?”
I didn’t have an answer to that.
“I know some may discount your cats, but I see how you treat them. They’re your family.”
He was right, but I wasn’t used to people acknowledging it without judgment.
“They’re the family I found,” I murmured, flirting as close to the truth as I dared. “I lost the one I was supposed to have a long time ago.”
Leo seemed to know me so well, because he didn’t ask any questions. “So, we’re both missing things we’re supposed to have. My pack and your family.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
Maybe that was why we’d connected so easily. We had the same wounds, even if we got them in completely different ways.
The conversation faded once more, but it was about as far from uncomfortable as it could be.
I looked over at Leo, watching the flickering light of the fire play over his strong features.
Was I developing feelings for the man? I couldn’t deny that I was attracted to him, but he was from an entirely different world than me.
A magical world. For all we knew, he had a shifter wife and shifter children somewhere who were desperately hoping for him to come home one day.
“Leo…” I murmured, so many thoughts rushing through my head.
“Yes, Ven?”
I had no idea what I was actually going to say, but before I could articulate it, an earth-shaking boom sounded above our heads.
“Holy shit!” I cried.
Leo and I ran to the entrance, although he made it out long before me. Rain was pouring down in a sudden torrent.
“Strange,” Leo remarked, poking his head out. His auburn hair was instantly soaked, which was far more appealing that it had any right to be. “I didn’t smell the storm coming.”
“You can do that?” I asked, wide eyed.
“Most of the time. The air changes. I think humans pick up on it occasionally.”
I thought back to other storms I’d experienced, and I knew exactly what he meant. It was a strange scent—one of ozone, electricity, and moisture in the air.
“We should head back,” he said. “The cave is close enough to the water that the entrance could flood.” He offered his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, and I stared at his tanned palm.
While I had touched his shoulder earlier, holding hands was an entirely different thing. “You ready to run?”
“Sure,” I said with an uncertain chuckle. “But I don’t think I can keep up with you.”
“That’s fine,” he said with a soft smile. “I’ll stick to your pace.”
Well, how was I supposed to say no to that logic?
Face flushing, I put my hand in his. Once more, electricity shot through my body at the touch. The hair at the back of my neck stood on end, making me hyperaware of every cell in my body.
“Ready?” Leo asked, his smile broad and so full of earnest excitement that my stomach flipped.
“Ready,” I confirmed.
We took off.
It certainly wasn’t an all-out sprint, with both of us occasionally skidding across mud and wet earth. We were thoroughly soaked within seconds, and when I ended up falling right onto my ass in a small puddle, I burst out laughing.
“Are you all right?” Leo asked before thunder cracked behind him, making both of us flinch.
“I’m fine.” I let him pull me up by our joined hands. “Nothing a little soap can’t scrub out.”
“That’s the spirit.”
But with me fairly covered in muck, all sense of caution was thrown to the wind—or rather, the storm. We jumped into occasional puddles, splashing ourselves and each other. It wasn’t long before Leo was laughing right with me, both of us thoroughly caught up in the silliness.
It was so fun. Exhilarating. Even with the occasional bolt of lightning striking down in the distance, I didn’t feel an ounce of fear. There was only room for joy and levity. It was a very welcome change from how my life had been before Leo.
“We made it!” I cried once my garden came into view.
My plants were going to love all the rain. Although I watered them every day, irrigation drips didn’t have all the extra nitrogen and other nutritious chemicals plants liked to gobble up.
Leo grinned from ear to ear. “We did.”
We rushed the rest of the way. When we reached my back door, we were both breathless, our chests heaving.
“We made a right mess of ourselves, didn’t we?” I asked as we stood in the doorway, staring out at the storm raging across the landscape.
“We did.”
I looked up at Leo, raindrops still on my lashes, and studied that handsome face of his. The slope of his jaw had a slight bump—he must have broken it at some point in his life. He had such sharp cheekbones. But mostly, I locked eyes with him and saw that ever-present intensity.
God, he was so fucking handsome, and the way he was looking at me made it even harder to breathe. It was hard not to feel the world narrow down to just him and me.
“Leo…” I murmured, acutely aware of how his thrifted clothes clung to the sculpted planes of his body. He really was an Adonis, all masculine strength and power.
“Yes?” His voice was low, barely more than a rumble, and it made me shiver for reasons other than the cold water drenching me.
I didn’t know where I got the nerve, but I swallowed and kept speaking. “Would you like to take a shower?”