Chapter Thirty-Four
They stumbled to their old bedroom, knocking things over, pulling clothing from each other’s bodies and throwing the garments to the floor.
The whole of Augustine’s body ached, but it was an ache of want, an ache that could only be soothed by Theo’s hands on her skin.
Theo was kissing her with an intensity she’d forgotten, one she knew she’d missed, and she kissed him back just as passionately, just as needily.
Her mind told her to slow things down, to take her time with him, but her body refused to listen, and Theo didn’t seem to care about the speed with which they were moving.
The opposite, in fact.
She was down to just her underwear when he pushed her to the bed.
He lifted himself on his forearms, leaning down to nuzzle at her naked chest, and when he caught and rolled a nipple between his teeth Augustine let out a gasp, her hands entangling into his hair and holding him to her.
He switched to her other breast, and she let out a low and breathy moan of approval, still clinging to him, still holding him close, still wanting this as much as she’d ever wanted him before.
Pleasure was shooting through her, gathering between her legs, and when Theo shifted slightly, moving back up to kiss her mouth once more, she couldn’t help rocking against the hard line of his thigh.
He sat up, kneeling in front of her, holding her hands as she rubbed her aching core against him, his eyes blown wide with desire, clearly mesmerized by the sight in front of him.
Augustine knew they’d done this before. Of course they had.
She’d almost been there, in fact, the first time she’d brought him home, the memory brushing just out of reach, like something half-seen in a dream. They’d done this countless times, and it should have felt familiar, practiced. Something her body could fall into without thinking.
It didn’t though. It couldn’t, because she couldn’t remember any of it. So, this felt like the first time, and yet . . . it wasn’t.
This time was different.
There were no memories to guide them, no past to shape the moment or weigh it down.
No versions of themselves lingering at the edges, no ghosts of who they had been, trying to lead or hold them back.
There was just him, and her, and a mattress beneath them, keeping them both firmly in the present.
It was as if the universe itself was insisting that this, right here, was real.
That this, right now, was the answer.
Abruptly, Theo released one of her hands, bending to kiss her once more.
His tongue was hot in her mouth and his free hand snaked down her skin, dipping between her legs and then pressing into her body.
Augustine couldn’t help but to break their kiss as a noise of pleasure escaped her lips, and she turned to the side, her hips now moving in tandem with the thrusting of Theo’s fingers.
It was like an itch all over her body, how badly she wanted him, and she turned her head back to his, using the hand that wasn’t already held by his to cup his cheek.
He paused, looking into her eyes curiously, and she leaned up to kiss him softly.
Almost gently, Theo pushed Augustine onto her back, before he knelt over her. His eyes swept over her body appreciatively, before he ducked down again to rain kisses on her breasts, kisses that then trailed eagerly down to her stomach.
“When I first saw you, I wanted you,” Theo confessed, between hot presses of his mouth to her skin.
“I walked into your shop with your business card in my pocket, thinking I was going to find a wrinkled old crone. I never expected you. Never expected this.” He paused, kissing her again.
“I couldn’t touch you. It was torture, having you right there, but being unable to lay even a finger on you. ”
Augustine said nothing, simply closing her eyes as she tangled her hands into Theo’s hair.
She moaned when she felt his hands slip inside the thin fabric of her pants, fingers gliding almost lazily around her hips to knead at her ass.
She opened her eyes, and at the same moment, opened her thighs to him, too.
Theo made a sound, and she watched him lick at his lips greedily.
“I’m touching you now, though, aren’t I?” he asked her, and she nodded desperately, holding his gaze. “Nothing can keep us apart. I promise you.”
She wanted to reply, but every word was stolen from her lips when Theo’s mouth suddenly descended, wantonly pressing to the juncture of her thighs. He licked and mouthed at her through the cotton of her underwear, and Augustine moaned with absolute want and need.
Above the pleasure building more insistently in her body, Augustine felt Theo’s palms gently nudging her.
Through half-lidded eyes, she watched as he sat back, tapping her lightly on the thigh.
Instinctively, she raised her hips, allowing him to draw his hands down her legs, taking her underwear with him.
For a brief moment, she felt self-conscious, suddenly aware she was now lying fully naked beneath him.
It was only a moment, though, before Theo removed his own underwear.
She hardly had time to take in the sight of him before he returned his mouth between her thighs, and Augustine cried out again as his tongue parted her folds, soon finding the tight bud that caused her body to flood with an exquisite, almost torturously good pleasure.
He pushed his fingers into her aching core and her back arched, the breath catching in her throat, as lost to this perfect moment as she was.
She didn’t want to come like this, though. Not with his mouth so far from her own. Not without his body pressed against her own.
She jerked her legs away from him, and he glanced at her in surprise, before she pulled at his hands.
“Not like that,” she whispered, and he nodded knowingly.
He released her hand and pulled his fingers from her body, and she didn’t even have time to miss the feel of him before he was parting her thighs and pushing himself inside her breathlessly.
She was so wet he slid in easily, and they both made a noise as he filled her to the hilt.
For a moment their gaze was unbroken, and it was so wondrous and perfect that Augustine wondered exactly how they’d forgotten this was ever theirs.
He fit perfectly, not just in her body but also in her soul and heart, and as she gazed at him it hit her: I won’t forget this, not ever again.
No one can take this from me, take this from us.
She pulled his body flush with hers, and her nipples grazed his chest, rocketing yet more exquisite bolts of pleasure through her.
Softly, Augustine hooked an arm around Theo’s shoulders, rolling her hips up, and God, yes, that’s it.
She tried it again, taking control while Theo leaned rigidly above her, letting her move her hips in a kind of inelegant rhythm and it was good, it was so good.
She carried on, the pleasure growing greater and greater, until Theo suddenly made a noise, his hands clamping hard on her hips.
Without warning, he slammed himself into her, and Augustine’s back arched on the mattress, her legs spreading wider to encourage him further.
Augustine knew without being told that sex with Theo had almost certainly always been amazingly pleasurable for her.
She knew without needing to remember that sex with Theo had always been passionate, romantic and good.
Sex with Theo now, however, was almost indescribable.
Augustine lay on the bed while each roll of his hips edged her closer and closer to orgasm, her fingers digging into his skin, her ankles locked around his back.
He was making noises now, too, little gasps and moans that filled her with both power and pleasure, and she wanted him to fall apart in both her body and arms, just as she wanted him to fill her in places she’d never been filled before.
She could feel each twitch of Theo inside of her, and she knew he was close. Without thinking, she took one of his hands, guiding it back between her legs.
“Please, just—” she half begged, and Theo made another sound of raw pleasure as he began to swipe and rub at her, his movements frantic and disjointed, but still helping to bring Augustine closer to her own pleasure.
Another swipe of Theo’s thumb and she couldn’t take any more. She cried out into his shoulder, her body throbbing around him, and he groaned, low and soft, as he came with her.
Theo collapsed on top of her, and Augustine held him against her, relishing in the warmth of his body next to hers. His hair was tangled, his back now damp with sweat, and Augustine held him tightly, her own cheeks damp with tears she hadn’t even realized she’d shed.
“I didn’t know,” she whispered, unaccountably teary. “I didn’t know.”
Theo shifted slightly above her, lifting his head just enough to look at her properly, his brow furrowing at the tremor in her voice. “What?” he asked softly. “What didn’t you know?”
Augustine swallowed, her fingers still curled against his back, not ready to let him go.
“That it could be like this,” she said, her voice unsteady, thick with something she couldn’t quite contain.
“That you could be like this. That we—” Her breath caught.
“God, Theo, you’re just so . . .” She laughed softly, wiping at her tears.
“You’re just so perfect,” she finished, the words barely more than a whisper.
“And I didn’t remember you. I didn’t remember us. ”
The weight of it seemed to hit her all at once, and her hands slipped from him as she pushed herself upright, the sudden distance between them sharp and jarring. She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them tightly.
“How could I forget something like that? How could I forget you?”