Chapter 13 #3
“Hmm, where should I start?” Olive said, as if considering the question carefully.
“What about your last relationship?” Charlie supplied. It was what she was most curious about, and she didn’t want to waste a chance to ask about it.
Olive sighed. “What is there to say…? With this one as with the last one, I was putting in the effort and planning everything, though I really was too busy with work. I was the one who would come to her with a bowl of soup when she was sick. I was the one trying to learn everything about her and she… let me. I guess I’m just tired of being in relationships where I’m the only one who’s invested.
She couldn’t even pretend to like me long enough to come on this trip with me…
” She trailed off, and Charlie could see what it was that she wasn’t sharing.
Olive was used to feeling unappreciated in a relationship, that somehow, maybe she was worried that it was because she was unlovable or undeserving in some way.
“I can’t believe that,” Charlie said.
“That she didn’t want to come on this trip?”
“Well, yes. But more so that you think you’re unworthy of love.”
“I never said that,” Olive replied, but Charlie recognized the look in her eyes. It was the look she’d surely had a few minutes ago, when something hit too close to home and you didn’t want to talk about it.
This time, it was Charlie who reached a comforting hand to Olive.
“You know you’re someone’s dream person, right?” Charlie said. It took her a great deal of effort not to say that person was herself.
“I’m starting to consider it,” Olive said, the smile on her face a clear indication that she suspected what Charlie was thinking.
Oh well. Charlie could never be secretive about her feelings. It was part of the reason she preferred to stay closed off and single all these years; when you didn’t let anyone in, there was no one to distract you from what’s really important.
The intrusive thought pulled Charlie out of her reverie, and she tried to mentally focus on something else, not the anxiety creeping in her brain, telling her that part of her was wrong for wanting this. Wanting to be there.
“Are you okay?” Olive asked.
“It’s scary how well you can read me,” Charlie said.
“Anyone can with that blush and those eyes.”
Before Charlie could admit that Olive was right about that, the waitstaff arrived with their meal. They dug into their food promptly, and the conversation shifted to the happy chatter of two individuals enjoying a delicious meal together.
It was late by the time they left the restaurant, Olive distracting Charlie by asking her more questions about hockey.
In return, Charlie got to learn more about Olive’s childhood and her close relationship with her sister.
Though they still didn’t know each other that well, with every passing story and remark, Charlie felt as if she had known her for years.
Now standing outside the restaurant, they huddled together as two people awkwardly did when they realized the date had ended, but they didn’t want it to just yet.
“How about I walk you to your hotel?” Charlie asked, which earned them a smile from Olive.
They walked hand in hand, and Charlie tried not to freak out about it. Both because of how giddy she was, and because of how different it was from her normal life.
As they walked, Olive swung their arms to and fro slightly, and it was so adorable that Charlie couldn’t help but make note of it. When they passed another couple, Olive stood closer to Charlie, and she didn’t move away even after the other couple had left their vicinity.
If only I didn’t have practice tomorrow, Charlie thought.
“I’m surprised you’re into this,” Olive said when they hit a lull in their conversation, swinging their entwined hands again for emphasis.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Charlie asked.
“I mean, I have noticed that you tend to shy away from me in public.”
Charlie sighed. “I sometimes forget how famous I am. I’ve been trying to work on it, which is why I always try to stick to myself out in public or at least try not to be so visible.
It’s true that I have always been a bit on the reserved side, but it wouldn’t be fair to you either if someone did photograph us together. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Just because I want to be seen with you, doesn’t mean that you want to be seen with me.
You haven’t even agreed to come see me in Toronto…
” Charlie trailed off. She hadn’t meant to say it, but part of her was still conscious that she had laid her heart and intentions out there for Olive many times, and it was Olive who was keeping her distance. Not physically, but emotionally.
Charlie was nervous that the statement may turn into their first fight.
Now it was Olive’s turn to sigh. “I guess that’s fair. Are you mad at me for not being able to give you a proper answer on that?”
“I couldn’t be mad at you even if I wanted to be,” Charlie said, already worried that she had revealed too much.
She tried to smooth it over with an overexplanation.
“Even if I did feel a type of way about it, it wouldn’t be fair to you.
You were supposed to be here on a trip with your ex.
I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to jump into a new relationship. ”
Charlie paused, realizing what they had said.
“Not that I think we should be in a relationship, I mean, that would be ridiculous…”
They trailed off as Olive directed them to the side of the street, laughing so hard she had to hold up a hand to catch her breath. When she finished, she stood facing Charlie.
“You’re so cute, y’know that?” she asked.
Charlie rubbed the back of her neck nervously, unsure of what she could even say in this situation. Smooth operator, she was not.
“Let’s revisit this conversation after you win a gold medal, okay?” Olive finally said, though she was smiling.
“I can agree to those terms, because I know we’ll win,” Charlie said, relieved that she could use her familiar failsafe of hockey talk.
“Good,” Olive said, and leaned up for a kiss. Charlie met her halfway and let the surroundings disappear as she held the woman she loved in her arms.
When they pulled apart, Charlie processed the thoughts circulating through her. Ridiculous could not even begin to describe how the situation felt, if she were to analyze it from an outsider’s point of view. She locked up the thought away and led Olive down the street further to her hotel.
“Eager to go somewhere?” Olive said as her hotel was in sight.
“Yes, I need to get you home.”
Just outside the hotel’s doors, Charlie dropped Olive’s hand and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
“Sweet dreams, baby,” she said.
Olive was visibly confused. “You’re not coming up with me?”
“I can’t. Practice tomorrow,” Charlie said.
She was worried that Olive would point out that hadn’t stopped them before.
It wasn’t technically a lie, as Charlie did have practice tomorrow, but just later in the afternoon.
Charlie really needed a moment to process her spiralling thoughts, or maybe twelve.
“I understand, darling. Text me when you get back to the village, okay?”
Charlie agreed and watched as Olive went into the hotel. They finally left a few minutes later when Olive texted that she was safely inside her room. It was a decent walk to the village, but her mind was scrambled.
Enough, Charlie forced themself to quiet their thoughts. The only thing I need to worry about now is the game.