~ Chapter 23 ~
Eva
Eva woke up already warm.
Not sweaty. Not uncomfortable. Just... aware.
It took a few slow seconds for her brain to catch up with her body, for the haze of sleep to thin enough for thoughts to take shape. And then, like a cruel little gift from her subconscious, the memories slid back into place.
Reed's hands at her waist.
The way his thumb had brushed along her jaw.
The quiet intensity in his eyes when he said, I want you.
Eva groaned softly and rolled onto her side, tugging the blanket up to her chin like it could shield her from her own mind. Her thighs pressed together without her meaning to, and that alone made her freeze.
Oh.
That was... new.
Not in the sense that she'd never felt anything before. She wasn't oblivious to attraction. She wasn't na?ve in the way people sometimes assumed she was.
But this felt different.
Clearer.
Heavier.
Intentional.
Eva lay there staring at the wall, heart beating a little faster than usual as she replayed the kiss. The slow, unhurried way Reed had leaned in. The way he'd asked first. The way he'd stopped, even when everything in his body had clearly been telling him not to.
He hadn't stopped because he didn't want her.
He had stopped because he did.
That realization settled into her chest like a weight and a warmth all at once.
She wasn't just sweet.
She wasn't just the girl who cooked and studied and took care of everyone else.
She was also a girl who wanted to be kissed again.
Who liked the feeling of someone's hands on her body.
Who had very much noticed the way her skin had tingled everywhere Reed touched.
The thought didn't make her feel ashamed.
It didn't make her feel wrong.
It made her feel... surprised.
And strangely calm.
Eva exhaled slowly.
"I'm in trouble," she murmured to the empty room.
By lunchtime, her brain still hadn't fully rebooted.
She sat through lecture with her notebook open, pen moving, but her notes were a mess. Half sentences. Random arrows. At one point she realized she'd written Reed's name in the margin and immediately scribbled it out like the paper had personally betrayed her.
It hadn't helped.
Nothing helped.
On her way out of class, she adjusted her bag on her shoulder and mentally prepared herself for the walk across campus when a voice beside her made her flinch slightly.
"Hey, you're Eva, right?"
She slowed and turned.
The guy standing next to her looked familiar in a vague, same-major way. Tall. Decent-looking. Wearing a hoodie with a campus logo.
"Yeah," she said politely.
"I'm Chris. I've seen you in stats a few times. You're really pretty."
Eva's stomach tightened, even as she gave a small, automatic smile. "Thanks."
He fell into step beside her.
"So, you got a boyfriend or...?"
The question itself wasn't aggressive. The words weren't crude.
But the way his eyes drifted—slow, evaluative—made something in her chest go uncomfortable.
"I'm actually on my way somewhere," Eva said quickly.
Chris smiled like he hadn't heard the hint. "We could walk together."
Eva shook her head. "I'm good."
She stepped away, increasing her pace.
Nothing bad had happened.
Nothing objectively wrong.
And yet, by the time she reached the student union, her hands felt slightly clammy and her shoulders were tight.
She paused near the entrance, taking a steadying breath.
What bothered her wasn't that someone had found her attractive.
It was how it felt.
With Chris, she had felt assessed.
Measured.
Looked at.
With Reed, she felt... chosen.
Seen.
Held, even when he wasn't touching her.
The difference hit her quietly but powerfully.
Eva realized she didn't just want to be wanted.
She wanted to be wanted by him.
Not because he was the first guy to make her feel this way.
But because he made her feel safe inside the wanting.
That mattered more than she'd ever known something could.
That evening, the girls were clustered in the kitchen making pasta, the air warm with the smell of garlic and simmering sauce. Sandra sat on the counter swinging her legs, Parker stirred a pot, and Cassie's face hovered on FaceTime, propped up against a jar of utensils.
It felt normal.
Comforting.
Safe.
Which made the words spill out before Eva could overthink them.
"I think something's wrong with me."
Three heads turned immediately.
Parker's voice was gentle. "What kind of wrong, sweetheart?"
Eva hesitated, twisting her fork between her fingers. "I... wanted Reed. Like. Physically."
Sandra blinked once.
Then smiled slowly.
"Congratulations. You're a human woman."
Eva groaned. "I'm serious."
Cassie softened. "Okay. How did it make you feel?"
Eva thought about it.
"Not scared," she admitted. "Just... aware. And curious. And a little overwhelmed."
Parker nodded. "That sounds pretty healthy, actually."
Eva frowned. "I always thought I was just... not wired like that."
Sandra hopped off the counter. "You're wired however you're wired. Being sweet doesn't cancel being sexual, Eva."
Cassie smiled. "You're allowed to want things."
Eva swallowed.
"I think what freaked me out today was realizing I only feel okay wanting him."
Parker tilted her head. "What happened today?"
Eva told them about Chris. About the conversation. About the discomfort she couldn't quite explain.
Sandra wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, that's a no."
Cassie nodded. "Because he didn't make you feel chosen. He made you feel like an option."
Eva's chest tightened.
"I only want Reed," she said quietly.
Parker smiled. "Then that's your truth."
Eva exhaled like she'd been holding her breath all day.
Her phone buzzed.
Reed.
Reed: How'd you sleep?
Eva stared at the screen, heart softening instantly.
Eva: Good. A little distracted.
Three dots appeared.
Reed: Good distracted or bad distracted?
Eva smiled to herself.
Eva: Good.
A pause.
Reed: I like knowing I'm the reason.
Warmth spread through her chest, slow and steady.
She looked around the kitchen at her friends. At the food. At the ordinary, beautiful life she was building.
Eva realized something quietly and firmly.
She wasn't just the girl who took care of everyone else anymore.
She was a woman learning what she wanted.
And she wanted Reed.