~ Chapter 33 ~
Reed didn't hate people.
He just hated crowds.
There was a difference.
Crowds felt like noise with no point.
Too many voices.
Too many bodies.
Too many expectations to be "on."
But his apartment didn't feel like a crowd tonight.
It felt like controlled chaos.
Ryan had somehow hijacked the speaker and was arguing with Vinod about whether old-school hip hop or early 2010s throwbacks were superior.
Felix was sitting on the arm of the couch next to Parker, both of them pretending very poorly that they weren't leaning into each other.
Caleb hovered near the kitchen island with Sandra, offering to make her a drink even though she already had one, just to have a reason to stay close.
Cassie was curled into Ryan's side on the couch, laughing at something on his phone.
And Eva was standing near the counter, drink in hand, talking quietly with Parker and another girl, nodding along like she always did when she was listening more than speaking.
Reed's attention kept drifting back to her whether he wanted it to or not.
She was wearing dark jeans and a soft fitted top that hugged her body in a way that was innocent and absolutely not innocent at the same time. Nothing revealing. Nothing loud. Just... her.
Her hair was down.
That alone should've been illegal.
Every time she tucked a loose strand behind her ear, Reed felt it low in his stomach.
He stood a few feet away pretending to be invested in Vinod's passionate explanation of why Drake's older albums were better than his new stuff, but his hand stayed on Eva's lower back like it had a mind of its own.
Not gripping.
Not possessive.
Just present.
Ryan glanced over mid-argument, clocked the hand placement, and smirked.
"Damn, Taylor. You gonna glue yourself to her or what?"
Reed didn't even look at him. "Mind your business."
Eva's cheeks pinked immediately.
Sandra noticed.
Of course she did.
She leaned over the island toward Eva and stage-whispered, "He's attached to you. I love it."
Eva groaned quietly. "Please stop."
Parker smiled softly. "You look happy, Ev."
Eva ducked her head. "I am."
Reed felt something warm bloom in his chest at that.
Not pride.
Not ego.
Something steadier.
Someone brushed past Reed's shoulder.
Then someone else.
Reed shifted slightly, angling himself closer to Eva without really thinking about it.
That's when he noticed the guy.
Not one of their people.
Tall.
Athletic build.
Dark hoodie from another school.
Reed recognized him vaguely.
Campus gym.
Maybe a rec center run-in.
The guy stepped into Eva's space with an easy grin.
"Hey. You go here, right? I think I've seen you around."
Eva gave a polite smile. "Yeah. I do."
Reed stayed where he was, watching.
The guy leaned closer.
"I'm Jason."
Eva hesitated.
"I'm Eva."
Reed felt his jaw tighten.
Jason glanced at Eva's cup. "What're you drinking? I can grab you another one."
"Oh, I'm okay," Eva said quickly. "I'm good."
Jason didn't take the hint.
"C'mon. It's a party."
Eva shifted back half a step.
That tiny movement flipped a switch in Reed.
Not rage.
Not jealousy.
Clarity.
He stepped forward.
Not fast.
Not aggressive.
Just decisive.
His hand slid to Eva's waist.
She felt it immediately.
So did Jason.
Reed positioned himself slightly in front of her, body angled just enough to make a point.
"She's with me."
Jason blinked.
"Oh. My bad, man. I didn't know."
Reed met his eyes.
"Now you do."
Jason nodded and backed off.
No scene.
No drama.
Conversation over.
Reed turned to Eva.
"You okay?"
Eva nodded, a little breathless. "Yeah."
He brushed his thumb lightly against her side.
"Tell me if you're not."
She nodded again.
Her hand slipped into the pocket of his hoodie.
Small.
Warm.
Claiming him back in her own quiet way.
Ryan, watching from the couch, lifted his beer.
"To monogamy."
Felix added, "Didn't think I'd see the day."
Vinod smirked. "He's gone."
Sandra clutched Cassie's arm. "I'm emotionally unwell."
Eva hid her face in Reed's shoulder.
Reed didn't care.
Not even a little.
Eva stayed quieter after that.
Not upset.
Not withdrawn.
Just... processing.
Reed noticed.
He always noticed.
He leaned down slightly so only she could hear him.
"Want some air?"
Eva nodded immediately.
They slipped onto the small balcony.
Cool night air washed over them.
City noise below.
Muffled music behind the door.
Eva leaned against the railing.
Reed stepped in front of her.
"You got quiet."
Eva shrugged. "Not in a bad way."
Reed waited.
"I just didn't know someone could make me feel that safe," she said.
Reed's throat tightened.
"You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with me."
Eva looked up at him.
"I know."
Her voice shook anyway.
Reed lifted his hand, brushing his thumb along her jaw.
"I'm not casual about you," he said. "You're not a maybe. You're not temporary."
Eva swallowed.
"So if I said I wanted you..."
Reed went very still.
"In what way?"
"In every way."
Reed's heart kicked hard.
"You mean tonight?"
Eva nodded.
"I trust you."
Reed cupped her face.
"I love you."
Eva's eyes filled instantly.
"I love you too."
They kissed.
Slow.
Deep.
Certain.
When they pulled back, Reed rested his forehead against hers.
"Come home with me."
Eva nodded.
"Yes."
And both of them knew—
Nothing about this was casual anymore.
---
The car ride back to my apartment felt different than any ride I'd ever been in before.
Not loud.
Not awkward.
Not full of nervous small talk.
Quiet.
Heavy in a good way.
Reed drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on my thigh like it belonged there. Not squeezing. Not moving. Just there. Warm. Steady. Constant.
I kept my hands folded in my lap because I didn't trust them not to shake.
Everything inside me felt awake.
My skin.
My chest.
My stomach.
My heart.
I stared out the window, watching streetlights blur past, trying to calm my breathing.
I had told him I wanted him.
I had meant it.
Now we were driving toward the reality of that statement.
Reed glanced over at me at a red light.
"You okay?"
I nodded.
"Yeah."
It wasn't a lie.
I was nervous.
Terrified, actually.
But underneath that fear was something stronger.
Trust.
Want.
A deep, quiet certainty that I wanted this with him.
Reed's thumb brushed my thigh slowly, like he could sense how wound tight I was.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he said softly. "We can just... sleep. Or talk. Or make out. Or nothing."
I swallowed.
"I know."
He waited.
I took a breath.
"I still want you."
Reed's jaw tightened.
Not in a scary way.
In a controlled way.
His eyes darkened slightly.
"Okay," he said. "Then we go slow."
I nodded.
The light turned green.
We didn't say anything else.
The quiet felt intentional.
When we pulled into my apartment lot, my heart started racing all over again.
Reed parked and turned off the engine.
For a second, neither of us moved.
Then he turned toward me.
"Still okay?"
I nodded again.
"Still want you."
That was all it took.
He leaned in and kissed me.
Not frantic.
Not rough.
Slow.
Deep.
Like he was grounding both of us.
My hands came up automatically, sliding into his hair, fingers curling like they were made to be there.
He groaned softly into my mouth.
My entire body reacted to that sound.
Heat pooled low in my stomach.
We broke apart breathing heavier than before.
Reed rested his forehead against mine.
"Let's go inside."
I didn't trust my voice, so I nodded.
We barely made it through the door before he was kissing me again.
The door shut behind us.
My back pressed against it.
His hands framed my waist.
Mine slid up his chest.
Skin to skin.
Even through clothes, I felt him everywhere.
His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw, then my neck.
I gasped.
Actually gasped.
No one had ever kissed me like that.
Like they wanted to learn every inch of me.
Reed's hands slid under my shirt.
Warm palms against bare skin.
I whimpered before I could stop myself.
Reed froze.
He pulled back just enough to look at me.
"Talk to me."
I swallowed.
"It feels... really good."
His mouth tilted into a small, wicked smile.
"Good."
He kissed me again.
Slower.
Deeper.
His hands explored carefully.
Not rushing.
Not grabbing.
Learning.
Every brush of his fingers sent little sparks through me.
I didn't know my body could feel like this.
We stumbled toward my bedroom, still kissing, still touching, bumping into furniture like two people who had completely lost their coordination.
Reed kicked the door shut behind us.
The room was dim.
Soft lamp light.
My bed right there.
Reality hit me all at once.
I stopped.
Not because I didn't want this.
Because I suddenly felt very aware of my body.
Of my curves.
Of my softness.
Of the fact that I was not tiny and delicate and straight-lined like girls in movies.
Reed noticed immediately.
"What's wrong?"
I looked down.
"I'm not... I don't look like the girls you could be with."
Reed's expression hardened.
Not angry.
Serious.
He stepped closer.
Cupped my face.
"You look like the girl I want."
Tears stung my eyes.
"You're beautiful," he continued. "You're soft. You're real. You drive me insane."
My breath hitched.
"You don't get to decide what I'm attracted to," he added gently. "I do."
I nodded.
He kissed me.
Slow.
Reassuring.
Then he started undressing me.
Not ripping.
Not rushing.
Lifting my shirt over my head.
Kissing my shoulders.
My collarbone.
My chest.
Like every part of me deserved attention.
I felt exposed.
Vulnerable.
And somehow... safe.
When I reached for his shirt, my hands shook.
Reed caught my wrists.
"Hey," he said softly. "You don't have to rush."
"I want to touch you," I whispered.
That did something to his face.
Something dark and hungry and barely restrained.
He let me.
I pulled his shirt over his head.
My eyes widened before I could stop myself.
I had seen him shirtless before.
But not like this.
Not this close.
Not knowing he was about to be mine.
Muscles.
Warm skin.
A faint scar near his shoulder.
I lifted my hand and traced it without thinking.
He sucked in a sharp breath.
Something twisted in my chest.
I pressed my lips to the scar gently.
He closed his eyes.
We undressed each other slowly after that.
Every new inch of skin felt like a revelation.
By the time we were lying on my bed, tangled together, I was trembling.
Reed hovered over me.
Not touching.
Just looking.
"Tell me if you want me to stop," he said.
"I don't."
"Tell me if something doesn't feel good."
"I will."
"Tell me what you need."
I swallowed.
"I need you."
That was it.
That was the last fragile piece of control he had.
He kissed me.
Slow.
Deep.
His body settled between my thighs.
I felt him.
Warm.
Solid.
Real.
I wrapped my legs around his waist without even realizing I was doing it.
"Eva," he whispered, like my name was a prayer.
Everything after that blurred into sensation.
His mouth.
His hands.
The way he made me feel wanted.
The way he kept checking in.
The way he kept telling me how good I felt.
How beautiful I was.
How perfect I was for him.
When he finally moved closer, closer than anyone ever had, I froze for half a second.
Not from fear.
From the enormity of it.
Reed noticed immediately.
He kissed my forehead.
"I've got you," he said.
"I trust you," I whispered.
And I did.
When he eased into me, it was overwhelming.
A stretch.
A fullness.
A feeling so intense I gasped.
Tears slipped from my eyes without warning.
Reed stilled instantly.
"Hey," he murmured. "Are you okay?"
I nodded.
"It's just... a lot."
He kissed my cheek.
"We can stop."
"No," I said quickly. "I want this. I want you. It just feels... big."
He smiled softly.
"Yeah. It is."
He moved slowly.
Gently.
Letting me adjust.
Letting my body learn him.
When he was fully there, when our bodies were connected in a way I had never experienced before, something shifted inside me.
It wasn't just physical.
It was emotional.
I felt close to him in a way that scared me.
In a way that felt permanent.
"I love you," I whispered.
Reed's breath stuttered.
"I love you too."
The words settled between us like something sacred.
We moved together slowly.
Not chasing anything.
Just feeling.
Discovering.
Learning.
I didn't know what I was doing.
Reed didn't seem to care.
Every small sound I made made him groan.
Every time I clung to him, he held me tighter.
I felt wanted.
Desired.
Chosen.
When it became too much to think, too much to process, I buried my face in his neck.
Reed held me.
Moved with me.
Stayed with me.
Nothing about it felt rushed.
Nothing about it felt casual.
When it was over, when we were both breathing hard and tangled together, Reed didn't pull away.
He collapsed beside me and immediately pulled me into his chest.
I curled into him like it was instinct.
Like I had always belonged there.
He kissed my hair.
My forehead.
My temple.
"I'm yours," he murmured.
"I'm yours," I whispered back.
And for the first time in my life...
I believed it.