~ Chapter 43 ~
Eva
Nothing had technically changed.
That was the worst part.
Reed still kissed her goodbye in the mornings.
Still texted goodnight.
Still showed up to study sessions.
Still slept beside her most nights, one arm usually draped over her waist like muscle memory.
From the outside, everything looked the same.
From the inside, something felt... off.
It wasn't distance in the obvious sense. Reed wasn't cold. He wasn't mean. He wasn't pulling away in a way that could be clearly pointed at and labeled.
It was smaller than that.
Quieter.
He didn't linger in kisses the way he used to.
Didn't pull her closer when they were watching something.
Didn't initiate sex.
When Eva reached for him, he always responded.
But he didn't start it.
And Eva noticed.
She tried not to.
She told herself she was overthinking. That she was tired. That finals were coming up. That everyone was stressed. That Reed had a lot on his plate.
With him moving towards his final year and graduating soon, me moving into my third year. Everyone is changing, making plans, trying to figure out life.
All of those things were true.
And still.
There were moments when Eva lay awake beside him, staring at the ceiling while he slept, wondering when exactly she had started feeling like she was standing on slightly unstable ground.
She didn't say anything.
Eva had always been good at swallowing discomfort.
She carried it quietly.
Privately.
Where no one else had to deal with it.
By day three, it started to feel heavy in her chest.
By day four, it started to hurt.
Sandra noticed first.
They were in Eva's kitchen, Sandra sitting on the counter scrolling through her phone while Eva stirred pasta that had already been stirred too many times.
"You've been poking at that pan for five minutes," Sandra said.
Eva blinked. "Have I?"
"Yes. Also you sighed like you're in a Victorian novel."
Eva tried to smile. Failed.
Sandra's tone softened. "What's going on?"
"Nothing."
Sandra raised an eyebrow.
Eva exhaled slowly.
"It's stupid."
"Then it's definitely not stupid."
Eva leaned her hip against the counter.
"Reed's just... different lately."
Sandra straightened.
"Different how?"
Eva shrugged. "Quieter. Less... affectionate."
Sandra frowned. "Did something happen?"
"No."
"Did you fight?"
"No."
Sandra hopped off the counter and stepped closer.
"Then why do you look like you're bracing for impact?"
Eva swallowed.
"I feel like I'm losing him."
Sandra's face shifted instantly.
"You're not."
"I know," Eva said quickly. "I know that logically. He hasn't done anything wrong. He hasn't said anything wrong. He still tells me he loves me. I just... feel it."
Sandra sighed and pulled Eva into a hug.
"You've always been sensitive to shifts in energy," she murmured into Eva's hair. "That doesn't mean you're wrong. But it also doesn't mean the conclusion your brain is jumping to is correct."
Eva pressed her forehead into Sandra's shoulder.
"What if he's realizing he wants something else?" Eva whispered. "Something more exciting. Something less... me."
Sandra pulled back just enough to look at her.
"Eva. Reed Taylor looks at you like you are oxygen."
Eva shook her head.
"He used to."
Sandra's jaw tightened.
"He still does. You're just scared."
Eva nodded.
"Yeah."
Later that night, Parker noticed too.
Reed had left earlier than usual.
Eva crawled into bed alone and stared at the empty pillow beside her.
Parker sat on the edge of the bed.
"You okay, sweetie?"
Eva tried to lie.
It didn't work.
Parker opened her arms.
Eva broke.
Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
Just quiet crying that shook her shoulders and soaked into Parker's sweatshirt.
"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," Eva whispered. "I don't know how to fix something I don't understand."
Parker rubbed slow circles on her back.
"You're not broken," she said. "And neither is your relationship. But you can't keep this inside. You have to talk to him."
Eva shook her head weakly. "What if I say it out loud and it becomes real?"
Parker cupped Eva's face gently.
"Baby, it's already real. Talking about it is how you keep it from turning into something worse."
Eva nodded.
She didn't feel brave.
But she felt tired.
Parker stayed with her until Eva's breathing evened out.
Not fixed.
Not magically better.
But steadier.
Eva eventually curled onto her side, wiping her face with the sleeve of Reed's t-shirt like it was a security blanket.
"I don't want to be dramatic," Eva murmured. "I don't want to make something out of nothing."
Parker brushed Eva's hair back gently.
"You're not being dramatic," she said. "You're being honest about feeling disconnected from someone you love. That's allowed."
Eva nodded weakly.
Parker stood quietly.
Walked into the living room.
Pulled out her phone.
She didn't overthink it.
Didn't craft a long message.
Didn't explain the entire situation.
She simply typed:
Parker → Caleb:
Hey. Something's off with Reed and Eva.
Eva's not okay.
She won't say it to him.
I think you should tell Ryan.
Parker hit send.
Then went back into Eva's room and climbed onto the bed beside her, no questions, no pressure.
Just presence.
Reed knew he was acting different.
He just didn't know how to explain it.
Everywhere he turned lately, someone was asking him about his future.
Coach wanted to talk about post-grad basketball options.
His dad kept asking about jobs.
His professors were reminding him that capstone projects were basically his entire existence now.
Emails about internships flooded his inbox.
It felt like someone had hit fast-forward on his life.
And suddenly, Reed couldn't think about "after" without thinking about Eva.
Not in a vague someday way.
In a real way.
Where does she live?
What does she want to do?
Would she stay near campus?
Would she want to move?
Would she want to build something long-term?
Reed had never planned his life around another person before.
The realization was heavy.
Not bad.
Just heavy.
So instead of talking about it...
He withdrew into himself.
Not from Eva.
But from vulnerability.
Because if he admitted how much she mattered, then he'd have to admit how much it would destroy him to lose her.
Ryan noticed.
They were sitting in the locker room after practice when Ryan finally said, "You've been weird all week."
Reed didn't look up. "Define weird."
"You look like you're constantly doing math in your head about your feelings."
Reed snorted. "That's disgusting."
Ryan glanced at his phone.
Then looked up.
Then looked at Reed.
"You and Eva good?"
Reed frowned slightly. "Yeah. Why?"
Ryan hesitated.
"Caleb just texted me. Said Parker reached out."
Reed's stomach dropped.
"About what?"
Ryan ran a hand through his hair.
"She's been crying, bro."
Everything inside Reed went still.
"Why."
Ryan shook his head. "She thinks you're pulling away."
Reed felt like someone punched him straight in the chest.
"I'm not."
"I know," Ryan said. "But she doesn't."
Reed stood immediately.
Didn't grab his bag.
Didn't say anything else.
Ryan didn't stop him.
Because some moments don't need commentary.
Reed showed up at Eva's apartment that night.
No text.
No warning.
Just a knock.
Eva opened the door and immediately knew.
The way he looked at her.
Serious.
Not angry.
Not distant.
Present.
"Can we talk?" Reed asked.
Eva nodded.
They sat on her bed.
Not touching.
Which felt worse than if they were fighting.
Eva's hands twisted in her lap.
"I don't know how to say this without sounding crazy," she said quietly.
Reed leaned forward.
"Try."
Eva took a breath.
"I feel like I'm losing you."
Reed's face tightened.
"You're not."
Eva shook her head.
"I know you're not doing anything wrong. I know you still love me. I know you're stressed. I just... I feel you pulling inward. And my brain keeps telling me it's because you're realizing you don't want me anymore."
Reed's chest hurt.
"Eva—"
She rushed on, tears slipping free.
"I don't need you to have everything figured out. I don't need promises about forever. I just need to know you're still choosing me."
Silence.
Heavy.
Reed moved closer.
"I am choosing you," he said.
Eva looked up.
Reed took her hands.
"I've been scared," he admitted. "Not of you. Of how much I want you in my future. Of how real this feels."
Eva blinked.
"You do?"
Reed nodded.
"Yeah. And instead of talking about it, I shut down. Which wasn't fair to you."
Eva's chest ached.
"I don't need perfect," she whispered. "I just need honest."
Reed squeezed her hands.
"I choose you. Even when I'm overwhelmed. Even when I don't know what I'm doing next. You're not temporary to me."
Eva's lip trembled.
"I choose you too."
Reed pulled her into his arms.
Hard.
Protective.
Relieved.
They stayed like that for a long time.
No talking.
Just breathing.
Being.
Choosing.
Again.