13 Dove
DOVE
Back in the safety of my rooms, I tore off my boots, riding habit, and corset as quickly as I could without Petra’s help.
Which was not very quickly at all. But eventually, I was down to my underthings and threw a silk robe around me before flopping onto the chaise lounge with a sigh.
I bit into the ouillo I’d brought up from the kitchens, its purple juiciness tasting like perfection after a long day.
Father imported them specially from all the way up north for me, one of his rare shows of affection.
Although it meant a bit less now that I was paying for them—and everything else for our household.
And had taken over balancing our books and budgets about a year ago.
And was trying to rein in my parents’ tendencies toward extravagance. But still. A nice thought.
Birds chattered outside an open window. The scent of roast pheasant drifted up from the kitchens, and the ouillo’s sweetness covered my tongue.
I let myself relax. Muscles loosening, tension headache lessening.
It was such a sweet relief to be back here, after the events of the morning.
And that… encounter… with Maerryl in the kitchens.
Suddenly, knocking came at my suite’s door, soft but insistent. Petra.
Groaning, I pushed myself up on the chaise. “One moment! I’m coming.”
Petra rushed in as soon as I unlocked the door. “My lady! Dove, are you alright?” She looked me over, face full of concern, but I brushed away her flapping hands.
“Yes, yes, I’m perfectly fine. Don’t fret.”
“But you were gone for hours and hours! I was so worried,” Petra said.
Satisfied that I was at least unharmed, she began to bustle around the room, picking up all of the garments that I’d abandoned haphazardly.
A slight twinge of self-consciousness at my mess arose, and I moved to help.
Petra shooed me away, pointing to my favorite squishy armchair.
“You just rest, lady. I’m sure you’ve had quite the day. I’ll build up that fire in a moment,” she said, shaking out my riding outfit and inspecting the filthy hems. “Now, tell me what you’ve been up to out there.”
I moved to the fireplace and grabbed the poker, meaning to stir the embers up as I’d seen the servants do countless times before. I’d never quite got the hang of this when we were down on help in the lean times, but I suddenly wanted to feel useful.
But Petra clucked and dashed over, gently pulling the poker out of my hand and guiding me to the chair. “I’ll take care of this, lady, please,” she said in her soft, firm way. Irritation flared. Can’t I do anything, even in my own home?
She stoked the morning’s few remaining embers, adding tinder and a match, building the tiny flame to a proper fire in no time. Then she smiled tentatively at me, wringing her hands, as if she’s sensed my annoyance. “Is everything alright, Dove?”
I instantly felt like an ungrateful ass. She was just trying to help. What was wrong with me today?
“Yes, of course. Just a bit weary,” I said. “Thank you for doing that. Would you also fetch our tea from the kitchens? I’ll tell you all about my adventures as we eat.” She beamed and hustled out, my dirty clothes piled in her arms for drop-off in the laundry.
I leaned back in the armchair, letting my eyelids drift closed as I enjoyed the play of the fire’s warmth over my tired limbs. What a day.
I wonder what Maerryl is doing right now.
My face flushed. Now where had that thought come from??
Even as I tried to push it down, an image of her just a couple rooms away rose in my mind.
Had she also flung all her clothes off when she got back to her room, like me?
Doubtful. I couldn’t imagine those tightly laced leathers would be easy to take off quickly.
It would have to be done slowly, one by one, her work-worn, nimble fingers untying them a single fastening at a time.
How would she get to the laces on those arm guards? Her teeth perhaps. I pictured her suddenly, undoing her clothes piece by glorious piece, bits of leather falling to the ground as I watched. She stared straight at me in that defiant way of hers, daring me to stop her.
It would go quite a bit quicker with two, I imagined.
In my mind, I stepped closer. The heat from the fire turned into the heat of her body, and I wrapped my hands around her shoulder, loosening one buckle that held the top of her leather armor in place.
A patch of skin was exposed; I ducked down to kiss, then lick it softly. Just once.
Maerryl’s arms came up around me, holding me tight, and I felt her low laugh—half mocking, half sensuous—in my mind’s ear. Unlike in reality, I didn’t want to snap back at that tone, put her in her place. I burrowed closer. She murmured praise in my ear, one hand moving down, down—
The door handle rattled, and I sat bolt upright, face burning. Petra bustled back in, carefully balancing a large tray as she prattled on about tonight’s dinner plans, one of her favorite topics.
I sat back, trying to look normal and surely failing. Oh goddess, my nipples were poking straight through the thin silk of my robe. I crossed my arms over my ample bosom and smiled overbright at Petra.
I did not just have a sex daydream about Maerryl. I did NOT just have a sex daydream about Maerryl. If I repeated it enough, perhaps time would rewind and erase what had just happened.
Petra, bless her, seemed to think I was over-exhausted and just sitting too near the fire.
She moved me to the chaise and plied me with tea, one of my favorite delicate white blends, while I caught her up on the events of the day.
She gasped and exclaimed in all the right places.
By the end of my story, with perhaps just a few minor embellishments, her vanilla scone lay forgotten on her plate and her mouth gaped.
“Well, I—my, Dove, you really have been on an adventure today. And here I thought it was just a quick rendezvous with some admirer,” she said. “So… there was no mystery lover?”
Shit. I’d forgotten about that little lie.
“Not exactly,” I said, resting one hand over hers. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
She nodded, but her brow furrowed. “Are you sure it’s safe though? Those villagers sounded awfully angry. Maybe the priory could bring the orphans here for your lessons?”
The thought of those children having to encounter my parents, who’d refused to help when their lives were destroyed, made my stomach roil.
“No. I’ll go to them. Besides, Maerryl will be with me.” Until I managed to get rid of her, that is. “Isn’t that the whole reason my parents hired her?”
She looked skeptical, but I said, “And not a word of this to either of them, understood? There’s no need for them to know anything about it. It’s my business.”
Petra nodded again, reluctantly. She was a good friend. As spacey as she could be sometimes, I knew she wouldn’t betray my trust.
And she probably wouldn’t risk endangering her position here, a small, sad part of my mind whispered.
I pulled my hand back from hers gently and stood, brushing scone crumbs off my lap. “Now, let’s get dressed for dinner. The smell of that pheasant has been driving me mad. Say again what Choia has cooked up for us this evening?”
Happily distracted once again, Petra hopped up and moved to the wardrobe as she chattered about glazed carrots and whipped mascarpone.
I tried to pay attention. Letting her choose my gown and hairstyle, we spent a pleasant hour together, before she bopped out to go fetch something. “Back in just a moment!” she chirped.
Things felt almost like normal, like every other evening for the past few months.
Except there was a nagging sense of everything being different after today.
What I’d heard in the village, and from the prioress—how could something like that have happened so nearby and I knew nothing about it?
Was I truly that cut off from my surroundings, from my neighbors?
What else happens around me that I’m oblivious to?
Of course, I had been told about the raiding.
As I’d said to Maerryl, Choia had mentioned the tragedy when it happened.
I just didn’t really hear her… or I didn’t care at the time.
Absorbed with my own problems, such as they were.
It took an elderly man yelling in my face for me to truly listen.
That, and Maerryl’s judgmental presence at my side.
Would I have gone to the priory if I’d been alone at the time, no one else to see and hold me accountable? Would I even have gone out riding in search of something this morning, if she hadn’t goaded me into feeling useless? My stomach churned.
I’d shut myself up in this manor for far too long. From now on, that was going to change.