Chapter 6
Standing in the mostly empty living room of the apartment that she and Jackson had once shared felt surreal to Alethea. The two weeks that had passed since the brunch had been a whirlwind of to-do lists and packing. Danica’s idea about scouring Queenie for antique treasures to fund the remodel was a good one, but it had actually given Alethea the even better idea to sell off the furniture in her apartment. The first thing that furniture was good for, she had gloated to herself, when she cashed the sizable check that would not only help pay for the renovations but also provide her with living expenses for the summer.
When Jackson had arranged for movers to pack up his belongings, the only large pieces they took were his Eames lounge chair and the Peloton exercise bike, leaving the rest of the furniture. Well, not ripping out the literal carpet from beneath her feet was the very least he could do after ruining her life. Jackson had picked out most of the pieces, as he was the one who had paid for furnishing the apartment, after all. His monochromatic, modern aesthetic had never appealed much to Alethea, but since he was footing the bill she hadn’t wanted to argue. Jackson never scrimped on quality, and the matching, high-end furniture had looked like it belonged in a private social club lounge. Alethea had never felt like she could truly get comfortable on the calfskin leather couch that was the color of espresso. Good riddance, she had thought when she filled out the paperwork for a reputable estate sale company that Priya had recommended to come in and haul it all away.
Dandelion lept from cardboard box to cardboard box, using the stacks of moving boxes much like “islands” in a game of The Floor is Lava. Alethea surveyed the empty apartment for the millionth time and shooed her cat away from the stack of framed artwork that was leaning against a particularly sturdy stack of boxes. She stared at the artist’s impression of Machu Picchu and the stark black and white print of Half Dome in Yosemite, glad she hadn’t even entertained the thought of selling the art. Her penchant for nature landscapes meant that she had collected quite a few over the years. She still couldn”t believe today was the day she was going back home. Priya was presently at U-Haul, getting the trailer hitched to her Jeep Wrangler and would be at Alethea’s apartment in less than an hour to start loading up Alethea’s belongings. Seeing all of her worldly possessions crammed into a dozen big cardboard boxes was unsettling and made her introspective. Is this all I have, all that I am? Me, my cat, and a bunch of boxes? It was an uncomfortable feeling yet oddly freeing at the same time.
Dandelion eyedthe cat carrier by the door suspiciously and continued to leap from perch to perch atop the boxes. Humans’ form of travel was so antiquated and barbaric, but she supposed she’d have no other choice. The thought of hours in the car trapped inside that miserable little cage made her furry skin crawl, but it was for the greater good she reminded herself. No point in acting like a spoiled lapcat. Dandelion would need to suck it up and be strong for Alethea’s sake. Still, she could take advantage of the free time this morning to continue her workout and burn off some energy before her imprisonment began.
Once the trailerwas fully loaded and Alethea had turned in her keys to the management office, they drove the short distance to Danica’s to pick her up. Priya laughed heartily when she saw Danica standing on the sidewalk with her two bags.
“Umm, you do realize we’re going for the whole summer, don’t you?” shouted Priya sarcastically, just barely audible over the noise of the traffic as they pulled up to the curb.
“Whatcha mean? Got everything I need right here.” Danica made a face as she patted her purple Jansport and tye-dyed duffle bag, piling into the back seat next to Dandelion’s carrier. Always the one for minimalist packing, she had even managed to fit her webcam and computer gear into her backpack.
Priya shook her head, not fathoming how her friend could bring so little with her. She herself had four vintage steamer trunks full to the brim in the trailer behind her SUV, and for her that was being conservative. The set of nesting trunks had been too unbelievable of a find at an auction to pass up, and now she finally had a reason to use them.
“Okay, everyone buckled?” asked Priya as she turned off her hazards, getting ready to merge back into the throng of midday traffic.
“ROAD TRIP!” Danica exclaimed excitedly in response, as she raised her arms and pumped both fists into the air.
“Ready as I’ll ever be!” said Alethea, trying hard to push down her apprehension. She silently watched out the window as they drove past all of her favorite haunts. Passing Mervin’s and then finally the cafe, Alethea felt a tug. It’s only for a couple of months, she reminded herself, it’s not like you won’t be back. But as they drove further out of the city, that tugging sensation seemed to grow, becoming almost physically uncomfortable. Unable to help herself, a tear slid down the side of her cheek, and she turned toward the window so her friends wouldn’t see. Her heartache over Jackson that she thought she finally had under control seemed renewed in its intensity. Passing the familiar buildings one by one, Alethea began to feel panicky and lightheaded. She couldn’t leave the city, what was she doing? This was stupid, the whole idea was stupid! She should just sell that old house as is. How had she let her friends talk her into something so nuts?! The air around her started to feel heavy, and she suddenly had the urge to jump out of the car.
“Are you alright, Al?” Priya was glancing sideways at her passenger. “You look like you’re freaking out a bit over there.” At that moment, the Jeep hit a sizable pothole in the road, jostling everyone and everything in the car. The wire door to Dandelion’s carrier bounced open, and before anyone could blink, the little black cat had leaped toward the front passenger side seat and onto Alethea’s lap.
“I need to get out of this car.” Alethea’s racing heart wasn’t helping the feeling that there wasn’t enough air in the vehicle for all of them.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” said Danica calmly from the backseat, using her yoga teaching voice. “Here, hold this against your wrists.” She pulled a cold bottle of water out of the mini igloo cooler Priya had packed for the trip and handed it forward. Alethea took the bottle in her trembling hands and did as instructed, trying her best not to let the condensation drip onto her cat’s head.
“Try doing some of the breathwork that you learned from the MeditationSpace app.” Danica’s tone was still calm and collected. “Priya, can you crank up the air for a bit?”
As the cold A/C blasted out of the vents, Alethea tried to force her rapid-firing lungs into a deeper and more even flow of breath.
“I…I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Alethea managed to squeak out, in between inhales. “I just can’t seem to calm down.”
“It’s alright, you’re going to be just fine,” Danica reassured her while pressing some napkins she had wet with the icy water onto the back of Alethea’s neck. “There, that feel any better? You’re having a panic attack, hon. Just keep focusing on your breathing and let the cold water work its magic.” Alethea nodded her head in response, but the tears kept streaming down her cheeks. The ice-cold water on her wrists began doing its job, and after a few more rounds of the square breath technique, her heart rate finally began to slow a bit. She hugged Dandelion tightly as she felt her heightened senses slowly returning to normal.
“It’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed but we’re not going to let anything happen to you, you got that?” Priya said, giving Alethea’s shoulder a quick squeeze before returning her hand to the steering wheel. As she expertly merged onto the on-ramp, the Wrangler sped down the highway and out of the city into the surrounding suburbs. Alethea watched the city’s skyline of shining blue and gray skyscrapers shrink further and further behind them, and she felt calmer by the second. She had never had a panic attack before and she certainly hoped she never would again. It was such a horrible and helpless feeling, she thanked her lucky stars that Danica had been there to talk her through it. As the city became no more than a tiny speck in the rearview, Alethea felt those intense feelings of hopelessness and heartache fade into the distance with it.