Chapter 3
Amanda had been startled when she barreled into this tall, well-bred man whose body seemed to be devoid of fat and was made up of pure muscle.
He had short, dark brown hair that reminded her of the soft night and blue eyes that held as much mystery as the sky itself.
She tilted her head up to look at him and had been tempted to take his hand when he offered it, but she wasn’t sure what people would think.
And then he had said those words that plagued her mind, the words that had fallen from so many people’s mouths intending to be comforting but only being daggers in her heart.
Still, she braced herself and wore the same feigned smile that she had practiced well.
“Thank you, but I am no longer the duchess. That title left me when the duke died and left no heir. There is another duke and duchess now, back in England. I am simply Lady Fernsby, although you may call me Amanda. I believe that is easier on the tongue than the alternative,” she said.
The man raised his head and smiled. “Then I shall call ye Amanda,” he said.
When Amanda had first arrived in Scotland it had taken her a long while to get used to the accents, but after spending so much time here, it was second nature to her, and she rather liked the rolling rhythm.
“I hae been meaning tae come and pay my respects tae ye, both from me and my da.”
“Your father?” she asked, frowning a little for she wasn’t sure she knew this man.
“Aye, the laird,” he said, and then everything fell into place.
Her estate was a small walk from the village, and technically it was its own land, although she considered it part of the village because she did not like to isolate herself.
The duke had never had much concern with the laird, even though the local custom was to give respect and deference to the laird.
Amanda had met the man a few times, and now she saw the resemblance.
What was his name? Ah, yes…Hamish. She had always had a talent for remembering people’s names. It came in handy when in the court.
“Well, please pass on my thanks to him as well. Your kind words are always appreciated.”
“I know this must be a difficult time for ye. If there’s anything ye need, please dinnae hesitate tae ask,” Logan said.
Again, Amanda offered him a small smile.
How she wished she could tell everyone that she was happy to be free and that she wanted to dance.
Instead, she had to play the part of a grieving widow, having to be aching with sorrow and heavy with regret.
She had no idea how long she had to be like this for, but even a day was too long.
“I shall do so, and once again, I apologize for disturbing you,” she said, and began to turn away. Before she did so, however, he called back to her.
“I actually think it was my fault for nae looking where I was gaeing. Perhaps ye would agree tae walk through the market with me? That way I can escort ye and ensure that naybody else bumps intae ye,” he said.
Amanda’s first instint was to refuse, but his smile was charming and there was a disarming look in his eyes.
Ordinarily it would have been scandalous for her to be seen with another man without an escort, but she did not have to think about such matters now.
She was free to walk with whomever she wanted, and she decided that she wanted to take advantage of this boon.
So she found herself nodding and fell into step with Logan.
They walked through the market and looked at the wares being offered, chuckling to each other about the way the merchants tried to tease people away from their coin.
“I fear that these merchants have come to us at the wrong time. People do not have as much coin to spare as usual,” she said.
Logan rubbed his chin. A layer of stubble peppered his square jaw.
“Aye, the weather was harsh this year. There are gaeing tae be lean times ahead.”
“I should hope that this year will be better. And I hope that people are sensible enough to only buy things they can afford. They need bread more than they need some shining trinket.”
“Aye, but they also want tae be happy,” Logan said.
Amanda arched her eyebrows and chuckled. “I suppose you and I should not be the ones talking about what they can spend their money on. Our stores are full.”
“The weather hit us badly as well, and we hae tae share our crops with the rest of the people tae ensure they dinnae starve.”
Amanda pursed her lips. “Perhaps you and your father would like to come to the estate and talk about how we might work together, in case the village is gripped in such a crisis again. I would not like to see a repeat of history. The thought of all this suffering… It is too much to bear.”
Amanda looked up and noticed Logan gazing at her with a strange look upon his face. It almost made her wonder if she had some blemish upon her cheek.
“Is something the matter?” she asked.
He shook his head as though dispelling a thought. “Nae at all. I was just surprised that an English lass would care sae much about us. In my experience, people from yer land dinnae hae much patience for us,” he said.
“I don’t think of England as my home. I haven’t thought of it as my home for a long time.
This is where I rest my head at night and it’s where I see the dawn sun rise.
It’s where my friends are, where the people I care about are…
This is my home,” she said, almost for her own benefit as much as his.
“I am sorry if I caused offense,” he said.
Amanda waved away his concern.
“If I got offended at every little thing, I would never have made a life for myself up here, nor would I have survived my marriage.” She spoke without thinking and suddenly realized that what she said had been improper.
Her cheeks flushed red as she stammered out an apology. “I am s-sorry. I misspoke,” she said.
Logan looked amused, although, for the sake of her modesty, he did not tease her about what she said.
“It must be difficult for ye now tae think of a future that ye haed nae planned,” he said instead.
It struck her as an insightful comment and one that perfectly captured her own thoughts. It was as though he had a window into her mind. She had never had anyone speak to her so plainly before.
“That’s exactly right,” she said.
“It’s always the same with death. There seems tae be something in the air at the moment. My da is very ill.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. There has been something going around the village. I hope he recovers soon. From what I remember of him, he is a vigorous man and will surely have the strength to fight off whatever ails him.”
Logan nodded, although he did not seem convinced.
“I hope ye are right, but I fear that his time grows near, as it does for every man. Ye start tae think about what is tae come and what is tae be, and it never feels quite right.”
“I suppose that would make you the laird,” she said, hoping to shake him from this melancholic stupor that seemed to have settled over him.
He nodded, but there was no glee in his eyes.
She supposed it must have been difficult for him to only be able to gain such a great honor by losing his father.
Amanda searched her memory but could not remember if Logan was married or not.
He was not a young man—perhaps a couple of years older than her, at least—and from what she could conjure in her mind, she did not remember ever hearing mention of a wife.
It was strange to her that he should reach such an age without being married when these Highland clans required consistency, but perhaps they did things differently than in England.
She wasn’t going to mention it anyway, for fear of being rude.
“Aye, it will. Da haes tried tae prepare me for it my entire life, but now that the time is near, it feels different.”
“I felt the same way when my marriage was announced. I knew that it was going to happen, and I had spent all my youth thinking about the type of man I was going to marry. I attended all the balls and met so many very nice men. There was a point where it all seemed like a dream that was never going to end, and then my father came to sit me down and told me that he had found a husband for me. I was eager to meet him, and then…well, if I may confide in you, the duke was not someone who stirred my heart. I always expected myself to be thrilled when the wedding day arrived, but it was so regimented and nobody actually seemed to be happy for me. It was almost as though it was a chore that needed to be endured, and it somewhat soured the occasion. I hope that your reign as laird will not be the same, whenever it begins.”
“Thank ye, and I’m sorry that ye didnae hae the best experience with being married. I dinnae wish tae speak ill of the dead, but I think the duke may hae made a mistake in sending ye up here.”
Amanda’s heart lightened at the compliment and her eyes swam with intrigue.
A smile widened upon her face; she was quite certain she had not met anyone like him before.
He was plainspoken, and there was no agenda with him at all.
And best of all was that he did not have that sneering, haughty tone that Hamilton had.
Amanda felt a warm feeling flow within her.
She knew she wanted to spend more time with this man.
It was time for her to build new connections in life, and what better than with the man who was going to be the laird of this village?
If she wanted to share her estate and care for the people in the village, then there was no better man to befriend.
As they walked through the village, they left the market stalls behind.
They were not walking anywhere in particular, but Amanda did not want their stroll to stop.
They spoke about idle things; Logan asked her about what England was like, and she spoke about a few things she hadn’t thought about in years.
Her earlier reticence disappeared, though, as she found herself becoming more and more curious about this man.
She was trying to think of a way to elegantly introduce the question of whether he was married or not (she knew it was not always the custom of Highland men to wear wedding bands), but just when she was about to utter those words, their attention was captured by a cry that came from a nearby alley.
It was a plaintive, weak cry that struck her very heart, and by the way Logan moved, it seemed to capture his attention as well.