10 Escape from Reality
Dawn caught me dreaming of white beaches embraced by crystal-clear seas.
I felt my skin parched by the sun, and when I opened my eyes, the vision didn’t change—but it was enriched by a noteworthy detail: you were beside me, and the dream magically turned into desire.
I slipped out of your arms to reach the shore and move away from you.
The silence almost weighed me down, but it couldn’t silence your voice or your breath. The warmth on my skin that I’d felt in the dream had turned into chills, and I walked along the shore, hoping the sun would warm me.
Before I met you, I would have been able to enjoy that peace and rare beauty, but now I felt that without you the colors were fading; everything seemed monotonous and gray.
As I sat down on the sand, I felt lonely—something that had never happened to me on my island.
I had unconsciously changed my conception of paradise on earth.
Now you were that paradise, but a recurring thought gnawed at my soul.
I wondered, worried, if you’d be willing to welcome me into your heart whenever I felt the need.
It was inevitable that doubts would assail me, because it wasn’t easy to make the scars on my heart—caused by the wounds I’d received over time—disappear.
Pushing the dark thoughts aside, I returned to you—you had woken up in the meantime.
When you saw me, you put a hand over your eyes to get a better look at me and motioned for me to come closer.
You surely wanted to have breakfast with me, even though I had the impression you wanted to devour me with your eyes.
Before joining you, I took a quick shower.
I was soaking wet, and as I stepped into the tent, I thought about playing a prank on you, but you grabbed me and pulled me toward you with so much love.
It seemed as though you were ready to continue the conversation you’d started the night before.
I was the one who’d invited you to talk, and it seemed you still had a lot to say on the subject.
Suddenly, somehow, we got tangled up in the tent, which collapsed on top of us, but that didn’t stop us, and we spent the whole morning talking in our own way—which wasn’t a universal language, anyway, because only the two of us understood each other.
I wondered if we’d find time to devote to each other once we returned to our daily lives. I already knew that I would no longer feel sad on weekends; on the contrary, I would look forward to them with anticipation.
The dhoni would arrive any moment now, and our hearts ached at the thought of leaving that little island all to ourselves. You had given me unforgettable moments that had changed me forever. I would surely rediscover that magic every time my skin touched yours.
We took a long swim while waiting for Charon to ferry us from the sea of passion to that of desire.
I noticed you were learning to swim quickly, and soon I wouldn’t be able to escape you even in the water.
We dried off while lying in the sun, after rolling for meters in the talcum-like sand until we turned the color of milk.
Then we put everything back in the crates and waited for the dhoni, which was slow in coming.
It was now late afternoon, and still no sign of the dhoni.
While we waited, we decided to take a walk inland in search of some coconuts, pretending to be real castaways.
We ventured into the dense vegetation, accompanied by the whistles of fruit bats, disturbed by our unwelcome presence.
In a few minutes, we reached the other side of the island and lay down on the sand.
“So what do we do now?” I asked you, worried.
“I actually have an idea,” you replied, eagerly.
Intrigued by your suggestion, I asked you to explain.
In response, you grabbed my hands and brought them behind my head, beginning to kiss my neck tenderly.
If there was one thing that made every muscle in my body freeze, it was exactly that kind of kiss.
I was experiencing a sensation that was a mix of tickling and shivers, causing me to go momentarily numb—just like when you grab a cat by the scruff of the neck.
I don’t know if you were aware of it, but you kept kissing me undeterred, and when you reached my lips, I mentally breathed a sigh of relief; one more second of that intoxicating torture and I might have fainted.
Shadows were lengthening across the island, and no boats were yet visible on the horizon. We weren’t too worried, absorbed as we were in passing the time in such a pleasant way.
I realized that nothing mattered to me anymore except being physically close to you: by then, you had become like the air I breathed.
It was dark by then, and I was starting to get seriously worried.
You seemed unconcerned that they’d forgotten about us, and you were focused solely on exploring my body inch by inch.
While waiting for the Dhoni, we’d come up with a new game that involved a sort of pseudo-torture for those with refined tastes.
The idea had come about by chance after we found a feather on the beach.
Taking turns, we’d run it over each other’s bodies, and whoever laughed or said “stop” first lost a point; whoever reached minus ten lost and had to do a forfeit.
If you could hold out for at least a minute, you earned a point.
Needless to say, I was already at minus eight and you were at plus four.
Now it was your turn, and I was trying to hold out, but it wasn’t my fault that the feather gliding across my skin was driving me wild.
I didn’t want to say “stop” so as not to give you that satisfaction, but I felt like I was about to cry.
Whatever you did to me sent me into ecstasy, and I couldn’t quite contain the emotions you were making me feel.
In the end, I gave in for the ninth time.
Now it was my turn: I grabbed the feather and brought it close to my mouth to whisper for it to give me a hand.
I began to brush your hips with it, making you flinch, but you remained stoically still.
I would have given anything to hear you say “enough,” but the few times you’d lost had been caused by your laughter.
I was starting to feel like a failure even at that game, but I didn’t want to let you win.
I dipped the feather in water and tried again: now things had really changed.
Finally, I saw you struggling, and shortly after, you gave in.
I felt like I was a hundred meters from the sky and congratulated myself.
You brought me back to reality, though, by telling me that now that it was my turn, I’d have to hold out for a minute; otherwise, I’d lose everything and have to do penance.
I asked you if I could have a few minutes to collect my thoughts.
I stepped back a few meters and started thinking: if I lost, I’d have to do penance; but if I won, I’d be back down to minus eight.
My thoughts turned back to the dhoni, and I wanted to share my concerns with you, but at the same time I didn’t want to spoil the mood. I kept playing, and as expected, I lost miserably, sparking your barely concealed joy.
So the time for punishment had come, but to my surprise, you told me I’d serve it once we got back to Rihiveli.
As you said the island’s name, you finally asked me about the dhoni that was supposed to come pick us up.
We got up and ran to the spot where the boat had dropped us off two days earlier.
Sure enough, its silhouette stood still, waiting for us almost at the shore.
We boarded, apologizing for the delay; they had us settle on the deck, where a table with two chairs had been set up.
Shortly afterward, they brought us two plates heaped with fried fish.
The return trip was absolutely delightful, and the chilled white wine did the rest, inspiring you to invent names for improbable stars in my eyes.
Gazing at the constellations out in the dark sea was a marvelous experience.
There were so many that it was impossible to tell them apart; they looked like luminous clouds, and I gazed at them in rapture with you by my side.
The warm breeze made me purr at you, and you responded in kind with a sly grin, matching the sound with your body and shamelessly rubbing up against me.
I felt so at ease that I, in turn, was acting just like a cat, leading you to believe I was into it, only to then dampen your ardor with a swat of my paw.
It was wonderful to be able to play around with you like that.
Only you could have played along because, deep down, you were just like me—always ready to see the funny side of things and laugh it off.
Your personality had so many facets that a lifetime wouldn’t have been enough to get to know you fully, and I was sure you were thinking the same thing about me.
The journey seemed to go on forever, and this was, to say the least, unusual.
Usually, when you’re having a good time, time flies, but in that case, it was as if time had taken pity on us and stopped so we could make up for the time lost in the whirlpools of our past—which I saw as growing darker and deeper, and which were about to be swallowed up forever by nothingness.
It was starting to get chilly, and I snuggled up to you to warm my body and soul. In a short time, you had become my “security blanket”—the one without which I couldn’t do anything.
“Do you love me?” you asked me suddenly.
“No. I adore you, sweetie!”
We arrived at the resort late at night, cold and tired.
We couldn’t wait to go to sleep, and after saying goodbye to the crew, we made our way to the bungalow, being careful not to step on the crabs’ burrows.
Once inside the room, we flopped onto the bed still fully clothed and fell asleep instantly while outside the world was preparing to pay homage to the rising sun.
The next day, the chatter of children woke us in the early afternoon.
They were calling out loudly for the doctor.
You got up to open the door to a small group of smiling children; they were the little ones from the native village, and they were cheerfully waving a small package for you.
After handing over the gift, the children disappeared in a flash.
You returned to the bed, and I urged you to open it.
Inside was something wrapped in surgical gauze; I handed it to you, looking at you questioningly.