FEAR OF FLYING #4
“Really, Bull!” Chai squealed. “It’s like that over her stupid, meek, bird brain ass!”
Calm in his demeanor, Bull stepped forward and Onika nor Urso had time to react when he snatched Chai by the throat and gave her pipes a squeeze. He yanked her to his face, and Urso attempted to lunge forward, but the barrel of Eazy’s gun against his chest stopped him.
“Fall back,” he told him, nudging him with the weapon until Urso’s shoulders fell in defeat.
It was obvious from the dark glare behind Eazy’s stare that he was with the shit.
“The only bird around this mothafucka is you. As far as stupid, you gotta be slow to think I was ever leaving my wife for you. It was a good time, Chai. Time’s up. Deal with that shit and move the fuck on.”
Her eyes filled to the brim with tears waiting to overflow. Bull’s face was now one she didn’t recognize. He’d transformed into the goon she thought lay in there all along. She’d been warned about him. Discarding her from his touch, he pointed to the doorway.
“Leave. Consider this your last day working for me too.”
“Bull, please.” She sniffled.
“The fuck outta here, Chai.” He waved her off like she was some servant who had exceeded her time.
“Look, we can talk about this—”
“Can’t stand a bitch that don’t know when to leave,” Eazy growled.
“Chai. Let’s go.” Urso grabbed his daughter’s arm and tugged her toward the hallway.
Although he was retreating, both Bull and Eazy caught the murderous glare he tried to hide, never taking his beady eyes off them.
“Onika.” Urso called his wife from the doorway.
“You made a mistake,” she sneered. “Antonia can’t even think for herself. Make sure to remind her that she owes me and Urso, and we intend to collect. One way or another.” She slowly backpedaled, but Eazy made sure to follow them out and let security know to lock the gate when they were gone.
Nobody else was getting in, and they would have to deal with those ready to leave when the time came.
“The fuck was that?” Eazy had his gun tucked when he approached Bull at the island counter, pouring himself another shot of whiskey.
“Toni’s mama, her punk ass husband, and Chai. His daughter.”
“You fucking your wife’s stepsister?” Eazy hiked a brow.
“Was. Bitch was just a distraction. I cut her off weeks ago.” Bull tossed his shot back. “I’m trying to make this shit work with Toni. It started with me protecting her from Braxton, but, as you can see by Jou Jou, that shit didn’t last long.”
“Nigga, you ain’t have to tell me that. I could tell from the first day I saw you with her what it was.”
“I spent most of this time with her feeling guilty because of Bronx. Like I betrayed him by going there with her.”
“Bro, Bronx is dead,” Eazy reminded him. “Not only that, but you also protected her and his son. I damn sure can’t judge you for that.” Patting his friend on the shoulder, he went to grab a fresh drink.
Bull let his words sink in and decided to show his face with his guests.
He didn’t want to be rude, and they had all shown up for him.
When he found Essence in the living room, staring at a photo of him, Toni, and the kids when Bijou was about six months old, he caught the faint glare in her eyes when she bitterly tossed back the glass of champagne.
Coming up beside her, Bull’s presence startled her, and Essence immediately straightened up and cleared her throat.
“If it isn’t the birthday boy.” She threw on a fake smile, but he knew better.
“Thanks for coming, E.”
“I started not to,” she muttered.
“Why is that?” Bull queried.
Scoffing, she shook her head and looked around at all the people having a good time. His wife was nowhere in sight, but Essence was still fully aware that they were in his home that he shared with his family. The notion that she was an outsider hit her harder than she expected.
“Didn’t seem appropriate.” She shrugged.
“Because of us and our history?” Bull pried.
“Silly me. I thought you coming back all those years ago meant that something was finally aligning, and we would get a chance to be together,” she confessed.
His chest constricted before his eyes fell on the ground briefly.
She was the last person he wanted to hurt.
Essence was the first girl he ever really gave a damn about.
He deemed her far too good for a man like him.
For years, he struggled with keeping the boundaries set between them, but they always found a way to sneak beyond them.
“You got a part of me nobody can touch, E. I’ll go to war behind you like I would anybody else I care about.”
“I don’t doubt that.” She nodded. “You just have a family now, and a wife.” She laughed to keep herself from falling apart. “I don’t get it, Bull. Why her? How could you do that to your brother? How could she? How can you be with a woman who can do something like that?”
“E, with all due respect, Toni’s my wife. I don’t have to explain this to you or anybody else,” Bull insisted.
“No, you don’t,” she agreed. “But after all these years, all we’ve been to each other, you don’t think I deserve the answers?”
“You really want the answers, E? Or you just want me to give you some hope that all this is some facade, and I make a bunch of promises to you that I can’t fucking keep?” Bull demanded through gritted teeth.
“All I’ve ever done is be honest with you about how I feel and what I wanted, Bull. You’re right, though, you never led me on or had me believing anything. It was all in my stupid ass head.” She pushed past him, but he subtly grabbed her wrist to stop her.
Only inches apart, his cologne assaulted her nostrils, and her heart pounded in her chest. Bull would never deny that he harbored real feelings for Essence. Gaze softening, he addressed her in a low tone.
“Do you love her?” Essence questioned, her voice shaky as hell while awaiting a response.
“She’s my wife.”
The fact that he didn’t answer told her more than she wanted to know.
She was present to see how he looked at her with her own two eyes.
It was delusional of her to deny that his heart was somewhere else.
He might have feelings for her; it was possible he cared for her like he said.
Knowing both things didn’t make either of them less true.
Bull wasn’t hers to claim, and he never was.
“But I don’t want to lose you as my friend.”
“Well, I’m not able to be that for you, Bull. Tell Eazy I’m catching an Uber home.” Yanking away from him, she stomped toward the entryway and let herself onto the front porch.
Swiping his beard, Bull happened to glance across the room and found Toni staring and wondering what she’d just witnessed.