Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Fumi
It’s been about three weeks since Hood and I had a real conversation. I’m tripping because he’s not calling me. He ain’t doing any random pop-ups. The last time he came by the house was when he dropped the Benz off. He hadn’t ridden by my salon either.
I’m feeling a certain way. I missed Hood. The silence should’ve made me happy. Instead... it irritated me. I wonder if he’s moved on, met someone else.
“So...” Journee looked over at me as we walked down the Belt Line. “About time you finally came outside. What happened to Hot Girl summer?”
“Fuck, you, I’ve been outside all summer.”
“Bitch...” Nikki laughed. “You been at work.”
“Yeah, that don’t count.” Alexis adjusted her purse. “We deserve this.”
“I ain’t arguing with that.”
The Beltline was alive tonight. Music drifted from rooftop bars. People laughed as they walked by. Food trucks lined the nearby sidewalks. A few couples held hands. A couple of friend groups took pictures. The city looked good tonight.
We grabbed a table outside, ordered drinks, shared appetizers, and talked and laughed for what felt like hours. For the first time in weeks... my mind wasn’t on work, Hood, or Cohen.
Just... My girls.
“You’re smiling. More like, what’s that about?” Journee pointed at me.
“What?”
“You seem lighter.”
“I feel lighter. I told y’all that cabin did something to me.”
Alexis laughed.
“Bitch, I ain’t say all that.”
“Shit, you ain’t have to.”
Nikki lifted her glass. “To peace.” We clinked glasses. “To peace.”
Acouple of hours later, we decided to walk before heading home. The sidewalks were even busier. I was halfway through laughing at one of Nikki’s stories when someone caught my attention. Across the street, I spotted Hood’s red Chevy Chevelle parked by one of the rooftop lounges.
My heart skipped before I could stop it. Damn, it was Hood, Cash, and Guap. They stood outside one of the rooftop lounges, talking. Three thirsty-ass hoes stood with them. I won’t lie, they were pretty and dressed to kill.
One of the hoes laughed and lightly touched Hood’s arm. My stomach tightened. The fuck... Why does that bother me?
“Fumi, you good?” Journee asked.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“I’m fine, he’s not my man.”
We drew closer, close enough for Hood to look up. Our eyes met, and for a split second... everything around us disappeared. He smiled. I looked away quickly. It was small but respectful.
“What’s up, Fumi?”
Damn, that was it. Oh, this nigga is acting brand new. He didn’t walk over. He ain’t flirting. I guess he said fuck trying to pull me aside. He looked at each girl.
“What’s up, ladies?”
“Hey, Hood,” Nikki answered.
Cash and Guap greeted everybody, then went right back to their conversation.
Hood looked back at me. “You been good?”
“Yeah.”
“You?”
“I’m blessed.” He nodded once. “Aiight. Y’all enjoy y’all night.”
That was it. No lingering. No trying to pull me aside. No reason to stand there. Like... I wasn’t the center of his attention anymore.
I frowned.
The fuck...
Before I could respond, Hood turned back toward the group. One of the hoes said something that made him laugh. He leaned down so she could hear him over the music, then they all walked toward the lounge, and just like that... Hood was gone. I stood there watching him disappear into the crowd.
Alexis bumped my shoulder. “Fumi, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I lied. This nigga really isn’t fucking with me.
“Mmm-hmm.” Nikki folded her arms. “You don’t look fine.”
“I said I’m good. I wasn’t expecting to run into Hood here tonight, on a date with some thirsty-ass hoe…”
We had our last date here. Journee looked in the direction Hood had disappeared.
“So... What? You ain’t like seeing him with somebody else.”
I laughed. “Girl... I don’t care who Hood out here with. That ain’t got nothing to do with me.”
Alexis raised one eyebrow. “Bitch, then why yo ass still looking over there?”
I realized I was. I quickly looked away. “I wasn’t… Damn, I can’t look?”
“Bitch...” Nikki laughed. “I knew you were looking.”
“Bitch, I wasn’t looking that hard.
“Yes, the fuck you were.”
I sucked in my teeth. “He acknowledged me. And he kept it fucking moving, too.” The words slipped out before I could catch them. All three of them looked at me, and I hated that they were right.
“There it is,” Journee smiled.
“What?”
“You finally figured out what it feels like.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Missing somebody...after they stop chasing you.”
Nobody said another word. They didn’t have to. For the rest of the night... every time I looked through the crowd... I hoped to see Hood again.
“I don’t care.”
I said it more for myself than them.
Nikki glanced over at Journee. “She’s fucking lying.”
“Oh, I know.”
“I am not lying.”
“You are.” Alexis laughed. “You ain’t gotta explain nothing to us.”
“Oh, I ain’t explaining shit.”
“Good, because your face is already doing it.”
I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
“I swear... Y’all make up any fucking thing.”
“We don’t have to.” Journee smiled. “Fumi, you are telling on your damn self.”
I looked back one more time. I couldn’t help myself. Damn... here I go again. Hood was still talking to Cash and Guap. One of the hoes said something that made everybody laugh. Hood smiled, but it wasn’t the smile I expected.
It wasn’t the same easy, I miss you, comfortable smile he used to give me. Why did that bother me? I looked away quickly because I wasn’t about to watch Hood entertain a bitch in my face, even though he had just begged me a few weeks ago to be with him.
“Let’s go somewhere else.”
Nikki stopped walking. “Dang, you ready to leave already?”
“I’m tired.”
“Bitch… You just got here.”
“I know, but I got work tomorrow.”
Alexis looked at me. “You work every damn day.”
“I know.”
“So, what’s really wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Fumi...”
“What?”
“Let me guess, you don’t like seeing Hood with other women.”
I laughed. “He can be with whoever he wanna be. I don’t give a fuck.”
Journee nodded. “I believe you.”
Finally.
“Good.”
“But...” She grinned. “You care that nigga ain’t caring.”
I frowned. “What?”
“You heard what the fuck I said… You got used to Hood checking for you, calling, texting, and showing up. And now... He ain’t doing none of that shit.”
Nikki chimed in. “Hood acknowledged you... and kept pushing.”
Alexis laughed. “That part hurt, didn’t it?”
“Fuck y’all. It didn’t hurt.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Then why do you keep looking over there?”
I opened my mouth... Closed it... Then sighed. “I don’t know.” There. I said it.
“I don’t know.”
The three of them looked at each other. No one laughed. No one teased me. Journee slipped her arm through mine.
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think you expected Hood to keep chasing you forever.”
“I didn’t. He only chased me for a week. If he’s already moving on, what the fuck was he really doing?”
“In a sense, you did. And now that he ain’t... you don’t know what to do with yourself.”
I looked down at the sidewalk. Maybe… Maybe not… Hell… I honestly didn’t know, and I wasn’t trying to figure it out. This nigga just bought me a whole Benz… A burst of laughter caught my attention. Against my better judgment, I looked again.
Hood wasn’t looking at the women. He was looking at Cash, talking, laughing, and living.
I want that for him. I don’t want his whole night to hinge on whether I spoke to him.
That... was new to me, but before I could stop myself...
I asked the question that had been sitting in the back of my mind all evening.
“So, what if he really moved on?”
The words barely rose above a whisper. Nikki heard me anyway. She squeezed my hand. “Then you’d better figure out what the fuck you want... before somebody else does.”
Nobody said another word. We just kept walking. For the first time in weeks, the Beltline felt crowded, and somehow... I’d never felt more alone.
By the time I made it home, I was drained. Not from the Beltline. Not from laughing with the girls. From thinking. Too damn much. I kicked off my heels by the front door and tossed my purse onto the kitchen island.
My phone buzzed.
Cohen-Made it home?
A few seconds later...
Cohen-You good?
I smiled. Cohen was thoughtful. I typed a response, then erased it. I’d text him tomorrow. Tonight... I needed a break from everyone. I filled the bathtub with hot water, added my favorite bath salts, lit a few candles, and turned off the lights.
My apartment glowed softly. I eased down into the water and let out a long sigh. Damn... I needed this. The longer I sat there... The quieter my mind became. Until... It didn’t.
Hood.
I closed my eyes. Why am I thinking about this nigga? I replayed the Beltline over and over. Hood looked good, healthy, and happy, as always. I want that for him. He acknowledged me, gave me a faint smile, and told me to be safe.
After that, he went back to his life. Hood no longer lingered or chased. He was no longer asking, “Can we talk?” I think I fucked up. However, I stood my ground. I wasn’t giving in to him because he was showing up every day doing shit he should’ve done years ago.
It’s his fault we’re not together. I miss him, but he caused a lot of this shit. I’m scared to fall for him again because he has the power to hurt me, and I’m not in the business of letting a nigga hurt me.
I leaned my head back against the tub. “Damn.” I really got what I asked for, peace. So why does it feel so... empty?
I laughed to myself. “Girl... Get your shit together, fast.”
I wanted Hood to stop calling. He did. I wanted Hood to stop popping up. He did. I wanted him to leave me alone. He did.
So why, every time I see his fine ass... do I hope he’ll forget what I asked for? It is what it is. If it’s meant to be, it’ll come back eventually.
I heard three knocks echo through the apartment. My eyes opened.
Knock… Knock... Knock….
My heart skipped.
Damn... Could that be Hood? I climbed out of the tub, wrapped myself in my robe, and hurried toward the front door. I didn’t even realize I was smiling. I looked through the peephole. The smile disappeared just as fast as it came.
Damn, it’s Nuri.
I opened the door.
“Damn...” Nuri laughed. “That’s how you greet people now?”
“What?”
“You looked disappointed.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You were expecting somebody else.”
I stepped aside. “Are you coming in or what?”
Nuri walked in, still grinning. “So, who were you hoping to see?”
“Bitch, I wasn’t hoping to see nobody.”
“Liar.”
“I ain’t lying.”
Nuri flopped down on my couch like she paid rent. “What’s wrong, Fumi? I know that look.”
“What look?”
“The one that says... The person standing at my door ain’t the one I wanted standing at my door.”
I rolled my eyes. “You watch too many damn movies.”
“Mmm-hmm.” She folded her arms. “So... Was it Hood?”
Damn, why is everybody bringing up this nigga tonight? Am I missing something? I froze for half a second. Just long enough for Nuri to catch it.
“Oh... There it is.”
“There what is?”
“Bitch, you hesitated.”
“I did not.”
“You absolutely did.”
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator.
“You want one?”
“Oh, so you’re changing the subject.”
“I asked if you wanted some water.”
Nuri laughed so hard she almost fell off the couch. “Bitch... You wanted it to be Hood. Just say that.”
I twisted the cap off my bottle. “No... I wanted to know who was knocking this late.”
“Mmm-hmm. I believe you.”
Her grin said otherwise. I took a long sip of water, refusing to look at Nuri. If I did... she’d see it. For the first time since Hood came home... the thought of him showing up didn’t annoy me. It comforted me.
Damn... Don’t let Nuri figure that out.