Chapter 21 #2
"No." I kiss him, brief and fierce. "But I can promise I'll try my damnedest to make sure we survive it."
He kisses me back, deeper this time, like he's trying to memorize the taste of hope.
When we break apart, he's almost smiling.
"Alright," he says. "Alright. We'll do this. Carefully. Quietly. We'll research without triggering Heaven's surveillance. We'll find a way to break the curse without alerting every watcher between here and the throne of Gods." He pulls back. "But first, we need to deal with the immediate problem."
"What immediate problem?"
"The watchers have marked you. They're tracking your movements. If we're going to do this, we need to blind them." He moves back to the table, starts gathering the crystals. "I know someone who can help. Someone who exists outside Heaven's jurisdiction. Someone who owes me a favor."
"Who?"
"A witch. Old magic, older than the fall. She can create wards that even watchers can't penetrate." He looks at me. "But it will require a blood price. Your blood, specifically. And it will bind you to the house in ways that will make leaving...difficult."
"How difficult?"
"You'll be tethered, connected to the gold. Part of my domain in a way you aren't now." His voice is careful. "It won't violate your contract; you'll still move on to the other houses when your year is up. But you'll always be tied to this place. To me. Even when you're gone."
The implications settle over me like a weight. A tether. A permanent connection to Croesus and his house. Even after I leave, even after I serve the others, I'll be bound here.
"Is that what you want?" I ask. "To bind me to you?"
"I want you safe. Everything else is negotiable." But there's hunger in his eyes. The greed, always present, always wanting. "Say no if you want. We'll find another way."
But there is no other way. Not if Heaven is watching. Not if the watchers can track my every move.
"Do it," I say. "Bind me. Protect me. Whatever it takes."
His expression shifts, relief and satisfaction and something that might be possessiveness.
"Then we leave tonight. The witch lives in the spaces between spaces. It will take time to reach her." He starts gathering materials, moving with sudden purpose. "Pack light. Wear something you can fight in if necessary. And Raven?"
"Yeah?"
"Once we do this, there's no going back. You'll be marked as mine in ways that Heaven will recognize. Ways that can't be undone." He meets my eyes. "Are you sure?"
I think about my grandmother. And about the possibility, however slim, that I might be able to change it.
"I'm sure," I say.
"Then we have work to do."
I spend the afternoon preparing.
Packing a bag with practical clothes, supplies, things I might need for a journey through "spaces between spaces", whatever that means. Nat finds me in my room and immediately knows something's wrong.
"You're leaving," he says.
"Just for a few days. Maybe a week." I don't look at him. "Croesus is taking me somewhere."
"Where?"
"He didn't say exactly. Something about a witch and blood wards." I stop. Look at him. "Nat, have you heard of watchers?"
His expression goes carefully blank. "Why?"
"Because apparently they've been tracking me. And Croesus thinks they might have killed my grandmother."
Nat closes the door behind him. Sits on the edge of my bed. "I was hoping you wouldn't find out about them yet."
"You knew?"
"I've been here a hundred years, Raven. I've seen watchers come and go.
Usually they're subtle. Quiet. They observe, they report, they leave.
But in the last few months..." He shakes his head.
"They've been more active. More focused. I thought it was because of the contracts you were breaking. Stealing from other houses. But I can’t know for sure. "
"You think it's because of me. What I am?"
"Yes." His truth-seeing eyes are steady on mine. "And I think you should be very, very careful. Watchers don't just observe. When Heaven decides something needs to be eliminated, watchers are often the ones who do it."
"Do you think they killed my grandmother?"
"They probably did. Or someone higher up the chain sent them to verify she was dead." He leans forward. "What are you planning to do?"
"Get warded. Make it so they can't track me. And then I'm going to try to break the curse. Free them. All of them."
I expect him to tell me I'm insane. To warn me it's impossible. To say what Croesus said, that some things can't be fixed.
Instead, he smiles, sad and knowing.
"Good," he says. "Someone should try. Even if it fails, someone should try."
"You think it will fail?"
"I think the odds are terrible. I think Heaven will do everything in its power to stop you.
I think you might die trying." He stands.
"But I also think if anyone can do it, it's you.
Your grandmother was brilliant, but she was alone.
Cold. She treated this like an intellectual puzzle.
You?" He touches my shoulder. "You actually care about them. That makes all the difference."
"Will you help me?"
"However I can. Though my usefulness is limited." He moves to the door. "Be careful with this witch, whoever she is. Blood magic is powerful, but it always costs more than you expect.”
"I know." And I do from sin eating most of my life.
"Do you?" His truth-seeing eyes search my face. "Because from where I'm standing, you're falling in love with an angel who's going to have to let you go in less than a year. And tethering yourself to him permanently? That's going to hurt. For both of you."
He’s not wrong.
"I'm not falling in love with him..." I start.
"Yes, you are." He says it gently. "And he's falling for you too, whether he admits it or not. Which makes this whole thing even more complicated."
He leaves before I can argue.
I sit there on my bed, bag half-packed, and try to deny what he said.
I'm not falling in love. I'm just...invested. Curious. Determined to help.
But my hand goes to my lips, remembering last night's kiss. Remembering how he held me like I was precious. How he looked at me like I was the only thing in the room worth seeing, even with his blindness.
"Shit," I whisper to the empty room.
Nat's right. I'm falling.
And there's no ward in existence that can protect me from that.