Chapter 24 #2
The servant leads us through corridors that seem to stretch longer than they should.
Ash is silent, but I can feel the tension radiating off him.
His demon blood is reacting to being in an angelic space.
I can see the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way his hands keep clenching and unclenching.
"This place," he mutters. "It's wrong. All of it. The way reality bends, the way it feels is just...awful."
"You get used to it."
"Do you?" He looks at me. "Or do you just forget what normal feels like?"
I don't answer.
The receiving room is small, intimate, gold walls, two velvet chairs, a table with a decanter of something amber. The servant bows and disappears, closing the door softly.
We're alone.
For about three seconds.
Then Ash pulls me into a hug so tight, I can barely breathe. "Jesus Christ, Raven. I thought, I was afraid..."
"I'm okay." I hug him back, feeling the familiar warmth of him, the cigarette smell, the solidness. It's grounding after weeks in the house where everything is beautiful and alien and strange. "I'm sorry I didn't call more. Things have been complicated."
"Complicated?" He pulls back, hands on my shoulders. "You're bound to one of the Seven. And then each in turn after that. Vera came to your apartment and told me. I thought... I didn’t realize.”
"I knew you'd try to stop me." I meet his eyes. "And I couldn't let you. This was the only way to protect Luna."
"There's always another way."
"There wasn't." I pull away from his grip. "My grandmother made deals with all seven houses. When she died, those contracts passed to me. If I didn't honor them, they'd have come after Luna. This way, she's safe. Protected."
"For seven years. Seven different angels." Ash's voice drops. "Raven, do you understand what you've agreed to? I know you know angels exist, but serving them, being in their domains, under their power, it changes people."
"I know."
"Do you?" He moves closer. "Look at me. Really look. You've been here what, a month or two? And you're already different. The way you stand, the way you talk. You're starting to become part of this place."
"I'm adapting. Surviving."
"Are you?" His hands cup my face. "Or are you forgetting who you were before?"
I don't have an answer for that.
"Come with me," he says suddenly. "Right now. We'll leave. I'll help you hide Luna, help you disappear."
"Ash."
"I mean it. There are ways to break angelic contracts if you're willing to take the risk. Dangerous ways, but possible. We could..." he huffs out a long breath. “I’d talk to my dad. For you, I would.”
"I can't. And you certainly fucking can’t..." I step back, his hands falling away. "I'm tethered to him now. To this house. Even if I wanted to leave, it’s impossible."
Ash stares at me. "What sort of binding?"
I explain quickly, the protective ritual with Wren, the permanent tether, the price I paid. His face gets paler with every sentence.
"You let him bind you to his house," he says when I finish. "Permanently."
"To protect me."
"You bound yourself to an angel." He takes a step back. "Forever. Even after you leave, you'll always be tied to him. Did you even consider for one minute he was just trying to secure his twisted claim on you? That it was a lie? Angels lie more than demons do."
"I know." And I do know. Would Croesus do that to me? Lie to me to keep me, to assuage his greed?
"And you did it anyway."
"I had to." Now I’m not sure if I’m convincing him or myself.
"Did you?" His voice hardens. "Or did he convince you that you had to?"
"It wasn't like that. He didn’t force me."
"Wasn't it?" He laughs, bitter. "You’ve been here for weeks, Raven, and you've already let him bind you permanently, stopped calling me, stopped thinking about leaving. Can you even hear yourself right now?"
"I'm doing what I have to do to survive."
"You're doing what he wants you to do. There's a difference." He moves toward the door. "I can't watch this. Can't watch you disappear into this golden cage and pretend everything's fine."
"Ash, wait, don’t..."
He stops, hand on the doorknob. Doesn't turn around. "I care about you. More than I should. More than you've ever let me." His voice is rough. "And watching you tie yourself to an angel, bind yourself to him permanently, it's killing me."
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"Are you?" He looks back over his shoulder. "Because from where I'm standing, you made your choice. And it wasn't me."
"That's not fair. This isn't about you."
"I know." He opens the door. "But it doesn't make it hurt less."
Then he's gone, and I'm alone in the golden room with my heart in my throat.
Croesus is waiting in the corridor when I emerge. His expression is carefully neutral, but through the binding, I can still feel the jealousy, possessiveness, anger, hurt.
"He's leaving," Croesus says. It's not a question.
"Yes."
"Good." He starts walking, and I fall into step beside him. "What did he want?"
"To make sure I'm okay."
"And are you?"
I think about Ash's words. About forgetting who I was. About choosing this life, this binding, this angel.
"I don't know," I say honestly.
Croesus stops walking. Turns to face me. Through the binding, I feel him wrestling with something, the urge to comfort me warring with the jealousy still burning in his chest.
"He cares for you," Croesus says finally. "The demon."
"His name is Ash."
"I don't care what his name is." Croesus's voice is cold.
"He's my friend."
"I don't share." The words come out sharp, possessive.
"That's not fair. There’s nothing there. There never was."
"Fair?" He laughs, harsh and bitter. "Nothing about this is fair. Life isn’t fucking fair. I thought you knew that already.”
We stare at each other a moment. And I can feel him building walls between us, pushing me away over this, over nothing.
"It doesn't matter," he says finally. "You're still leaving. Still going to the other houses. Still going to let them..." He stops. Shakes his head. "This conversation is over."
He turns and walks away, leaving me standing in the corridor alone.
Through the binding, I feel him, fury and jealousy and something that might be heartbreak, all tangled together in a knot I can't unravel.
And I realize with sinking certainty that Ash was right.
I am changing. Falling for the angel who owns my service.
Forgetting why I wanted to leave in the first place.
And I have no idea how to stop it.
Or if I even want to.
I head back to my room, exhaustion settling into my bones. The binding pulls at me, a constant awareness of Croesus somewhere else in the House. Angry. Hurt. Possessive.
Mine, it whispers. You're mine.
And the terrifying part is that some part of me, some growing, treacherous part, wants to be.
I close my door and lean against it, pressing my hand to my chest where I can feel the golden thread connecting me to him.
Ten months left. Ten months before I move to the next house, the next angel, the next binding.
But right now, all I can think about is how much it's going to hurt when I have to leave this one.