Chapter 32 #2
"But bonds with fallen angels are unpredictable," Lysander adds. His purple eyes find mine, and for once there's no seduction in his gaze. Just honesty. "We'd create them with the intention of them being temporary. A tool for one battle. But once created...they may not break easily."
"Define 'not easily,'" I say.
More uncomfortable silence.
"Days," Croesus says finally. "Maybe weeks. Possibly longer."
"How much longer?"
No one answers.
"You don't know," I realize. "You have no idea if these bonds can even be broken once created."
"No," Seraph admits. "Bonds between angels and humans are rare. Bonds between a single human and seven angels simultaneously? Unprecedented. The magic involved is...complex."
You'd feel us, Idris says quietly. Our emotions, our presence. Constantly. And we'd feel you. And through you, we'd feel each other.
"We'd be connected," Dorian elaborates. "Like a constellation. Seven stars orbiting a shared center."
I look at Croesus. Through our binding, I feel his conflict. His terror at the thought of me connected to all of them. His jealousy. His possessiveness.
But also his desperation. His bone-deep fear that without this, I'll die.
"There's no other way?" I ask.
"No," Caspian says flatly. "The treaty prevents us from fighting Heaven. This loophole is the only option. Either you become our weapon, or you face the archangel alone."
"Which means you die," Kael adds bluntly.
I look around at the seven of them. Seven deadly sins. Seven fallen angels who are all, for different reasons, willing to bind themselves to me. To give me access to their power. To become connected in ways that might be permanent.
Seraph, who hates everyone and trusts no one. Kael, who barely tolerates his fellow angels. Lysander, who sees everything as a game. Dorian, Idris, Caspian, all of them looking at me with varying degrees of reluctance and resolve.
And Croesus, standing beside me, his terror and love bleeding through our bond.
"This is insane," I say.
"Yes," Seraph agrees.
"I could die trying to channel that much power."
"Yes," Kael confirms.
"And if I survive, I'll be permanently connected to all of you."
"Probably," Lysander says cheerfully.
I close my eyes and try to think.
But there's nothing to think about. They're right, facing an archangel alone means death.
Trying to fight with only Croesus's power might not be enough.
And if I don't do something, Heaven will keep sending assassins until one succeeds.
And then who can fight, uncover why the souls were being taken from these angels?
The bigger issue. Luna? Would they try to kill Luna for it?
Not risk her having knowledge or power because of her connection through me?
This is my only chance.
"Do it," I say, opening my eyes. "Create the bonds."
"Raven,,," Croesus starts.
"Do it," I repeat firmly. "I'm not dying because of ancient politics and treaties I had no part in negotiating. I’m not risking them going after Luna once I’m dead, either. If this is my only option, then I'm taking it."
The angels exchange glances.
Then, surprisingly, it's Seraph who speaks. "You understand what you're agreeing to? The intimacy involved? The loss of privacy? We'll feel your emotions. You'll feel ours. Every fear, every desire, every moment of weakness, exposed."
"I understand."
"And you're certain?"
"I'm certain that I want to survive, that I want to protect my sister." I meet his mirror eyes without flinching. "So yes. I'm certain."
Seraph studies me for a long moment. Then he inclines his head. "Very well. We'll perform the ritual tonight."
"Tonight?" My voice cracks slightly.
"The archangel will come soon," Dorian says gently. "We need you prepared before they arrive. The battle will likely be tomorrow at dawn, that's when Heaven prefers to strike. Symbolic."
"So we have hours," I say.
"Hours," Croesus confirms. His hand finds mine, squeezes. "Are you sure about this?"
Through our binding, I feel what he's really asking: Are you sure about being connected to all of them? About sharing yourself with six other angels? About losing the exclusivity of what we have?
"I'm sure," I tell him quietly.
He doesn't look convinced. But he nods.
"Then we prepare," Seraph says, moving toward the door. "The ritual requires specific components. Blood, obviously. Warded space. And time, it's not quick."
"How long?" I ask.
"An hour, perhaps two." He pauses at the door. "And Raven? It's going to hurt. Creating one bond is painful. Creating seven simultaneously..." He trails off.
"I'll survive it."
"See that you do." His mirror eyes reflect my pale face. "It would be unfortunate to go through all this effort only to have you die from the bonding itself."
With that cheerful thought, he leaves.
One by one, the others follow. Kael with a nod, Lysander with a wink, Dorian with a look of concern. Idris pauses, and their voice slides into my mind one last time: You're braver than you know. Or perhaps more stupid. I haven't decided which.
Then they're gone too.
Only Croesus and I remain in the study.
"You don't have to do this," he says quietly.
"Yes, I do."
"They could find another way. Give me time."
"We don't have time." I turn to face him fully. "You said it yourself. The archangel is coming. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. But soon. And when they do, I need to be ready."
"You'll be connected to all of them." His voice is tight. "You'll feel Seraph's pride, Kael's rage, Lysander's..." He stops.
"Lust?" I finish. "I'll feel all of it. I know."
"And I'll feel them too. Through you." His jaw clenches. "I'll know when they affect you. When they make you feel things. When..."
"When they make me want them?"
The words hang in the air between us.
Through our binding, I feel his jealousy flare, hot and possessive and absolutely terrified.
"You were mine first," he says, and his voice cracks slightly. "You were mine, and now I have to share you with six others. Six angels I despise."
I kiss him.
Hard. Desperate. Trying to pour everything I feel through our bond, the love, the terror, the certainty that this is the only way.
When I pull back, we're both breathing hard.
"I'm not yours," I say quietly. "I never was.
You have a year of my service. That's all.
The binding between us was an accident, a side effect of you saving my life.
" I cup his face, force him to focus on me.
"But this, what we have now, this is real.
And it's not going away just because I'm connected to the others. "
"You can't promise that."
"No," I admit. "I can't. Because I don't know what these bonds will do to me. To us. To any of this." I press my forehead against his. "But I know that right now, in this moment, I choose you. I love you. And that's not going to change just because I can feel Seraph's opinions or Kael's temper."
Through the binding, I feel his fear slowly, slowly begin to ease.
"This is going to be a disaster," he mutters.
"Probably."
"They're going to drive you insane. Drive me insane."
"Almost certainly."
"And if the bonds don't break, if you're stuck connected to all seven of us permanently..."
"Then we'll figure it out." I pull back to look at him. "Together. Like we've figured out everything else."
He doesn't smile. But his hand comes up to cup my cheek, and through our bond, I feel his love mixing with his terror.
"I'm going to be impossible to live with," he warns. "Jealous, possessive, probably violent toward the others when they–"
"When they what? Make me laugh? Make me feel safe? Make me want them?"
His eyes flash gold. "Yes."
"Then I guess you'll have to learn to share."
"I'm the angel of greed, Raven. Sharing is against my nature."
"Then this will be good practice."
He almost, almost, smiles at that.
Then the moment breaks, and reality crashes back.
"We should eat," he says. "Rest, if you can. The ritual tonight will be draining. And tomorrow..." He doesn't finish.
Tomorrow I fight an archangel using the combined power of seven deadly sins.
Tomorrow I either become a weapon strong enough to kill one of Heaven's generals, or I die trying.
"Thank you. For trying to protect me. For being willing to share even though it kills you." I manage a weak smile.
Through the binding, his love crashes over me like a wave.
"I'd let a thousand angels into your head if it meant keeping you alive," he says quietly. "Even if it destroys me. Even if I spend the rest of eternity jealous and miserable. As long as you survive."
Then he's gone, leaving me alone in the study with the hovering map and the weight of what's coming.
Seven bonds.
Seven deadly sins.
One human woman trying to become a weapon strong enough to kill an archangel.