Chapter 29 #2
"Of course," she says with practiced grace. She turns to her servant. "Show my sister and—Fox, was it?” She glances at Fox again, who nods. “Right. Show them to the east guest chambers. The other wolves can give their monthly reports and rejoin their waiting companions."
She turns back to me, and flashes a too familiar grin. "Would you join me for an early dinner in a few hours?"
I nod. "Yes, I'd like that."
She claps her hands together. “Excellent! I can’t wait. I’ll send some clothing up to your room too so you can change. I’m sure we’re the same size.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
She waves me off, as if it’s nothing, still grinning madly. She really does appear to be ecstatic that I’m here.
Fox squeezes my hip, turning me around to leave. I follow, dazedly, but stop just before we walk out the double doors. Something clicks in my brain, and I spin back around words tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them. "Happy birthday.”
Silvia hasn’t moved an inch from where she was standing, and she grins even wider as our gazes connect. “You too.”
The servant who brought us inside takes Kai and the other wolves to wherever Jett, Connell and Runa are resting, while another servant leads Fox and I to an opulent bedroom.
The room is large and comfortable, constructed from the same glittering white stone as the rest of the palace, with matching white furniture and glittering silver upholstery.
A smaller version of the icicle-like chandeliers in the entrance hall hangs from the vaulted ceiling, directly above an enormous four-poster bed.
Fox and I have grown so accustomed to our silent communication that when the servant closes the door behind us, promising to return later to escort us to dinner, we don’t immediately speak to each other.
I give Fox a meaningful look, then walk over to the large bed and turn over my entire traveling bag onto the silver bedspread. I feel a surge of relief when I spot a worn bit of parchment and a quill jumbled amongst the spare clothing and potion ingredients.
Before we left, I grabbed our notes off the three-legged table in the tent. I hadn’t planned to use the notes again, I’d just been worried that someone else might use the tent while we’re gone and discover it. Thank the Gods for paranoia.
I sit on the edge of the bed, and Fox immediately sits beside me, my shoulder brushing his arm just above the elbow. He grabs the pen, and spreads the paper out on his knee to write.
Are you alright?
I scribble, my answer, then cross it out and write another answer beneath.
Yes.
I think so. Surprised.
She knows who you are.
I know. She said she’d been waiting to meet me for years. I’ll have to ask how she knew I existed.
Your mother?
Probably. I wonder where she is.
He frowns, but doesn’t write anything. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing I am–what I have been since the moment I saw Silvia. My mother is probably dead. Which I suppose isn’t any different from what I believed my entire life up until three weeks ago, but still.
It’s strange to contemplate, especially after seeing Silvia.
She looks exactly like me.
Fox shakes his head aggressively, mouthing: “No.”
I roll my eyes.
She does!
He snatches the quill back from me.
She doesn’t. Your expressions are different
Again I roll my eyes.
If you saw us both together wearing the same thing I doubt you’d know which was which
He gives me a stony stare.
I’d. know.
Whatever. So what do I do now?
***
I throw my hands up, gesturing at nothing in particular, as if to say “Everything.”
Fox cocks his head, thinking.
We could always leave
Be serious
I am. You wanted to see if your family was here. They are. If you don’t want to learn any more about your sister we can leave. You have family back in Vernallis.
My chest swells a little as I read that last line. He’s right, even if Silvia and I had never met, I’m not alone. I have family. There are those I chose, like Beatrix and Alix and the rest of our friends, and there’s Daemon, who is related to me by blood through my father.
And, of course, I have Fox—or at least, sometimes it seems like I do. Maybe he doesn’t want to be bonded–or can’t–but I don’t think he’d abandon me.
That thought reminds me of the other reason we’re here, and I bite my lip.
What about the wolves?
What about them?
I look at him sideways and he stares back, giving nothing away.
Kai wants you to kill her
I told you, I don’t think I could even if I wanted to
I bite my lip harder, tasting copper on my tongue.
As twisted as it is, part of me is glad he doesn’t believe he can kill Silvia.
Not that I want him to be bound to her—that thought makes me ill—but because this would be so much worse if Fox and I had to debate the merits of leaving my sister alive.
She seems excited to meet me. I was surprised, but I think I might feel better after a nap and some dinner. Perhaps we will be friends and I can just ask her to free the wolves. Maybe she doesn’t even realize what’s happening. Maybe this is something that can be fixed without killing anyone
Fox takes a second to read the long note, looking more concerned the further his eyes move down the page. His brow furrows as he holds the pen suspended above the paper. Finally, he writes:
Thorne was nice
I cock my head, confusion washing over me. I don't write back, just shake my head to show I don't understand what he's getting at.
I met King Thorne and heard Daemon talk about him for years. He was charming. It took decades for people to realize that he wasn't as nice as he seemed
What about me?
Now Fox is the one who looks confused.
Do you think I’m evil too and only pretending not to be?
He growls, reeling back as if I slapped him. “That’s not what I fucking meant and you should know it.”
I press a finger to my lips, reminding him to be quiet.
I know what you’re getting at, but I just mean that my entire bloodline can’t possibly be evil. We only spoke to Silvia for five minutes. I could barely think what to say. It’s a bit premature to decide she’s evil.
True, but you’re still writing as if you think we’re being watched.
If a stranger arrived in the court of Vernallis we would have them watched, it doesn’t make us evil.
He shrugs as if to say, that’s a fair point. He takes the pen back and writes:
The wolves won’t care if she’s your sister. They want to be free.
I look at him sideways. He keeps saying “them” or “the wolves” as if he wants me to forget that this affects him too. I can’t forget it.
I know. Let’s just see what happens at dinner.
Fox sighs, but nods his agreement. I stare at the side of his face, wishing I could find the right way to say more—to say everything I’m thinking.
After speaking to Fox and Runa last night, I feel like the veil of misunderstanding between us has been lifted. I’m not wondering how he feels anymore, and even though he didn’t exactly say the words out loud, I’m almost certain that he wants more with me.
I don’t know what “more” would mean to him. I know he said he didn’t think he could form a soul-bond after all this trauma, and I can respect that.
Maybe we won’t end up mated, but I think I can live with that.
Maybe he won’t ever love me exactly the way I want him to, but I can’t stand the thought of not having him at all.
I desperately want to help all the shifters, but selfishly, I want to help Fox the most. I want to know for sure what we could have if there were nothing standing between us.
I just don’t know if I’m willing to kill my own twin sister in order to find out.