Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
Travis
PRESENT DAY
“That Isabella has changed,” I say, and the moment those words flew out, I instantly regretted them. Her face drops as she stays silent, standing in front of a piece I’ve seen a billion times. I can’t fathom seeing her here. It’s almost as if I’m dreaming. “Not that she ever needed to, but she did. The moment she walked out on me, she did, and it drove me insane that I couldn’t protect her.” I talk about her as if she isn’t the one standing in front of me.
But maybe she’s not.
The Isabella I so loved and could do anything for couldn’t be the one standing in front of me. She might as well have disappeared, and I would believe it.
“She didn’t need you to protect her,” she finally says.
I knew this moment was bound to happen one day—like in a hundred years when my lifeless body decays into bones. But we’re here now, in shape and with my heart still formed for her. I hate that I can’t seem to despise her the way I want to and scold her the way I had practiced in my room during that time. It was already over for me the moment my eyes had landed on her back when I walked in.
I could recognize that back even in the pitches of black.
“Well, she should have. I was right there, ready to walk her through everything. Right fucking there for here. So why couldn’t she talk to me?” I ask.
If she says she’s Isabella Kirby, then I need her to find Bella for me. She’s the one who left me crawling on the floor. The one who looked me in the eye and said she never loved me. I need that Bella here and now.
“She wanted to, Travis. But it was my—her battle, not you and hers. Only hers to fight.” Isabella’s throat strains as she speaks, almost as if she’s holding in some tears.
“Her battles were mine too, Isabella.” I get up from my only stool in this outbuilding and approach her. I’ll finally get to see her up close after so long. “Your battles were mine,” I murmur as I close the short distance between us. “No matter how intense they were, no matter how dangerous, they were also mine to fight. Right beside you,” I express.
Not a single word is a lie.
We were good together, perfect even. I was ready to envision ourselves waking up next to each other and forming a union worth more than anything in this world. I was all set to be in her world. Dammit, she was already in mine. Because of that, I wonder why she threw it all away. Sure, we were only twenty and growing, but we were also twenty and in love.
“No.” She steps back, her hands blocking me from going any further.
“Then tell me. Did you fight it?” I ask. I grab both her wrists, still hanging in the air, close to my chest.
“The moment I left.” Her eyes stay put on mine, ignoring my touch.
I do the same. “What the hell happened six years ago, Isabella?”
She shuts her eyes for a second while sighing. Without the time to even hold her back, she slips her hands from my grip. “Fine, don’t tell me. But I’ll find out soon enough, and it better have been worth the pain you cost me.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says again, and it pisses me off.
“Why do you keep doing this to me?” I sound defeated. “ You left, Isabella.” I raise my voice this time. “You walked into my life, made me the happiest man in the entire world, and left.” Fuck being cool about this. “ You left me for no fucking reason. Sure, you rushed a reason, but not one that made any sense.”
I remember that day as clearly as ever. She stood in front of her bed, in her black satin shorts and white crop top, stared into my eyes, and said what she said.
“Believe me, I had to.” Her shoulders drop.
“No, you don’t get that chance. You don’t get to stand there and try to justify your mistakes and act like you have nothing to be held accountable for. You made me for a fool.”
“I’m here for work, Travis. Work,” she articulates.
“Work?!” I scoff. “Fuck that. This is not about work. It is further from that.” My blood runs thin as heat takes over the room. I’m losing it, and that’s the last thing I want to show right now. “But sure, I’ll play your game. Let’s talk about work.”
I walk past her and stand in front of tens of canvases hanging up on the wall. I’ve hung them up for display, but no one has ever seen them before. “This is my craft. I put my entire being into each one of them, so I get to decide if I want to put it up for auction, correct?”
She nods.
“Exactly, and I’m glad you found your calling in this business and got to make a fair living for yourself, but this is obviously not going to work. It’s a no.” I calm down.
I wanted to know what happened. I desperately did. But she’s never going to budge, and it’s a waste of both our breaths. No matter the reason she left, it’s hers to lock up to her grave, and I’ll have to accept that. I won’t force it anymore, as what’s done has been done, but if the chance was to present itself again, I’ll take it.
Now, all I can do is cherish the two years we got to see each other in a bright light, and never look back. This was her chance to clear things up. A chance she’s also thrown away. It just sucks she didn’t allow our relationship to grow and plunge deeper, but it’s okay. I’ll have to live with the thought of her smiles whenever she walked out her door to hang out with me at the lake. I’ll live through the memories of our first anniversary at the yearly county fair. And most of all, I’ll live with the thought I was never enough for her.
“I know,” she whispers.
It will never work.
“Be honest with me. Did you only come all the way back here to convince me to work with you?” I ask, most ready to let go.
“Yes,”
“You surely know how to make me feel stupid.”
“Travis, please, I’m just doing what’s best for you. For your career.” Her voice quickly picks up, flourishing in confidence.
“You know nothing about what’s best for me. If you knew, you wouldn’t have come back. Better yet, you wouldn’t have left in the first place.” She stands a few feet away from me, her shoulders still dropped in relaxation and her lips slightly lifted in a cheeky smile. Then I realize I’ll never get Bella back.
“Don’t you remember?” I try to get to her one last time. Her eyebrows lift, demanding more out of me. “The way it felt. The way the sole thought of seeing me felt.” She tilts her head, clearly refusing to even think about it. “Because I do. I remember how seeing you down the hall at school for the first time made me lose balance and made my entire being cling to the thought of speaking to you one day. I remember the songs we danced to during sleepless nights at your house. And most of all, I remember the way you tightly pressed your body against mine whenever I hugged you. I remember them all.”
I wait for a response from her, but I’m gifted with nothing but another sigh. “Don’t you remember any of those moments?” I ask.
“No. I don’t,” she bluntly answers.
Was what we had really just a fluke in her life? Were her laughs and smiles fake? Her words? Her presence?
“Get out.” I don’t hesitate. “Please.” I turn back to face a random painting. The rogue fox.
It pops out a fox with dark brown eyes, staring at me as if it knows me. I made this, but somehow, seeing it now, makes my heart pinch. It’s her. She’s the fox. The only one I picture. My eyes quickly skim the other canvases, and I realize how much of her I had consumed in me, causing all of them to somehow be related to her. Every single piece has a strand of her hair, a cut of her fingernails, a memory of her kisses, and her entire self. Everything is her.
“I’ll leave, but know that I’ll come back tomorrow, and the day after, and more after that, until you say yes. This is not less hard for me than it is for you, just so you know,” she says, and I listen, still facing my back at her. Then the door slams shut.
3. She’s heartless.
Right after Isabella left, I went to pick up Simon from school to drop him off at home. He’s grown enough to walk home alone, but my mother is such a fearsome and protective mom that he’s practically held hostage. At about fourteen, everyone can surely find their way back home, especially in a small town where crime rates are barely visible. Not zero, but rare.
We’ve been living here for a while, but my mother still doesn’t feel comfortable around the people. Which is ironic since she’s the one who chose for us to move out here. I guess she never expected the amicability between neighbors and parents to be this profound. She’s still in her old, sophisticated ways. I understand, though. The contrast from living in a two-story building in the middle of one of the richest neighborhoods to living in a small family home, among very few others, is immense.
Hopefully, one day, she’ll trust this town enough to allow Simon to live and appreciate it. It’ll be unfortunate if she blocks him from that. Road Haven is now my favorite place in the entire world, and I would trade nowhere for it.
It’s brought peace and maturity in me I never thought I could ever have and, even more, to embrace them. The town doesn’t only resume its beauty and chivalry. It’s also the people and their unity. They’re the ones who’ve made this place my favorite soil to step on. Every one of them.
Today, I’m not staying at my place. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in my house knowing a few hours prior, Isabella was there. So, I text the boys for us to meet up at the bar. Another single thing in Road Haven. Just like we have one diner, one sheriff’s station, and one lake. We also have one bar. Our go-to reset point. Once I’m there, everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours disappears. Today is one of those days.
“You’re kidding! Isabella is back?” Billy screams for the entire bar to hear.
At this hour, three shots have been sitting in my stomach, and I still have room for more. I need to get wasted tonight, and Billy knows how to help with that.
We sit at the table right ahead of the bartender, prepared to spend our night here. Billy snaps his fingers at him. “Four more shots over here,” he demands.
“Four?” I ask.
It’s only him, Tyrone, and I here. Dan couldn’t join us because he was busy running after Raina Lodge. After confessing to us, he did reach out to her and told her how he felt. Unsurprisingly, she rejected him. I mean, why did he even think he could pull the mayor’s daughter? But he’s determined to not go down without a fight, and I fuck with that.
“Two for you, of course. You need this more than us,” he says as if it justifies it.
He’s not wrong. “Make it five, please.” I raise my hand at the bartender. He nods at the request.
“Wait, wait. Don’t leave us hanging, man. When did she come back?” Tyrone loses his patience.
“That’s not what’s important right now. The dude said she was in his house. His house.”
“Oh right, what happened? Did you two reconcile?”
I scoff.
They both eagerly sniff their noses in my business. To be fair, I did drag them here and told them about it, but they should know more than anyone that all I need is to shut down. Not talk about it.
“Let me guess, you tried to act all cool, like you didn’t even care she was back, but then lost it and pulled her in for a hug, maybe a kiss. Tell me I’m wrong,” Billy narrates.
As I’m seated in front of them, Tyrone casually bumps Billy’s shoulder while they are sitting side by side. This feels like another intervention. Fuck! I should’ve come alone.
“What’s wrong with you? He’s clearly hurting here,” Tyrone disputes.
“Ugh, I was obviously kidding.”
“So, what happened? What did she say? Did she tell you why she came back?” On and on, Tyrone asks. He’s way too excited about this. I don’t like that.
“Nothing happened. She came for work, specifically for my work, and that’s it,” I finally get a word out.
“Wait, what? What do you mean, ‘ that’s it ’?”
Just then, a server arrives at our table. Thank goodness.
“Your shots, gentlemen.” She places the tray down and sets the glasses in front of the three of us. Arriving at the last two, she pauses.
“Both are also mine, thank you.” I read her thoughts.
“So, who are we mopping over tonight?” she asks, clearing the tray.
“Isabella.” Billy opens his mouth. He just doesn’t know when to shut up, does he?
“Isabella Kirby?” She seems surprised. She turns her head towards me. “The famous ex?”
I really should’ve come alone.
“Liza.” I dart at her. She’s been working here for the past three years, and to my demise, it’s the worst thing ever. Only because she gets to know all about my business since I now have Mr. Secret Teller over here having a hard time shutting up. The four of us went to school together, but I was never close to her. Until recently.
She’s known for her charms among men and honestly, I don’t see it. Sure, she’s kind and pretty, but I’ve never understood how she could pull every person with a cock at school and then dump them after a few trials. This month, she’s with James, Isabella’s friend.
Though she has a sullied history, they look cute together. So far, it’s been looking good for them, so I’ve been minding my business without interfering.
“Like I said to these two, she’s here for work, and nothing else,” I say, irritated.
“Damn,” Liza mutters. “I didn’t know she was in town.”
It looks as if James hadn’t told her either. I don’t even know if he knows, but there’s no way he doesn’t. He’s one of her best friends, after all.
Tyrone stares at me the whole time, trying to figure me out, but I block him by masking myself with a subtle smile.
“What about you?” he asks.
“What about me?”
“Do you truly have nothing left for her in your heart?”
I sigh. Again with this question.
“Think before you answer. Isabella is… she’s your girl, man. No matter how much you’re going to ignore it, we all know. She’s been your girl,” he says, and Billy gulps his shot without a word. At least, he and I are on the same page on something.
“She was,” I clarify.