Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
“This is ridiculous,” she muttered aloud.
Amelia paced the length of her bedchamber for what felt like the hundredth time that evening.
Moonlight spilled through the curtains and stretched silver across the carpet while the fire crackled softly in the grate.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Gabriel again, standing beside the broken carriage with splintered wood around him and concern written plainly across his face.
The memory ought to have comforted her. Instead, it left her hopelessly flustered.
She stopped beside the window and pressed her hands against her cheeks.
“It was not that big of a moment,” she muttered aloud. “He rescued me from a carriage, not a dragon.”
Unfortunately, the distinction did very little to calm her racing thoughts. Gabriel had looked genuinely frightened when he thought she might be hurt. Worse still…
I liked it.
With a groan, Amelia resumed pacing.
“What happens in a week?” she asked the empty room. “Has anyone thought about that?” She pointed accusingly at the fireplace as though it were somehow responsible.
“David certainly has not for he is not aware. Valerie has not. Gabriel refuses to discuss it.” Her stomach tightened as the reality settled over her once more.
The one-month arrangement was nearly finished. She slowed beside the hearth and sank into a chair. “I shall have to leave,” she whispered. The words sounded wrong.
For the first time since arriving at Anderton Manor, Amelia truly considered what awaited her beyond its walls.
I could return home, certainly, but what then? My parents might no longer intend for me to marry after causing such a scandal, yet that hardly guarantees freedom. Another carefully planned future I have not chosen.
“I have nowhere to go,” she admitted softly. The realization unsettled her far more than it should have.
Could I join Bethany and her new husband after all that has happened? Does she hate me for what I have done to her?
A sharp knock sounded at the door.
Amelia jumped so violently that she nearly knocked over a side table.
“Come in,” she called, smoothing her hair and trying to appear as though she had not been arguing with furniture moments earlier.
The door opened, and her breath caught. Gabriel stood in the doorway holding a silver tray with a teapot and two cups balanced upon it.
For several seconds, she simply stared.
Gabriel shifted his weight slightly.
“Are you planning to invite me inside, or shall I continue standing in the corridor holding tea?” he asked dryly.
Amelia blinked. “You brought tea.”
He lifted one dark eyebrow. “An excellent observation, Miss Shirley.”
She nodded at once. Gabriel entered the room and crossed towards the sitting area.
“I brought it because you have been pacing for nearly three hours,” he said as he set the tray on the table. “The floorboards have informed me of your activities in considerable detail.”
Amelia felt heat creep into her cheeks. “You were listening?”
“The entire corridor was listening.”
Despite herself, she laughed. “You might have simply knocked sooner.”
Gabriel glanced at her. “And interrupt such a determined campaign against the carpet?” he asked. “I would not dare.”
How much has he heard?
Amelia pressed her lips together to hide a smile while he poured tea into both cups with steady hands. The domesticity of the gesture felt oddly intimate. Dukes were not supposed to bring tea to anxious governesses in the middle of the night.
He handed her a cup, and their fingers brushed briefly, causing Amelia’s pulse to betray her.
Gabriel seemed unaffected as he glanced towards the hearth. “Your fire is dying,” he observed.
Before she could reply, he crossed the room, crouched before the grate, and added another log. The flames brightened at once, filling the room with warmth and golden light. Amelia watched him in silence.
No duke should be this concerned about a governess.
The thought settled heavily in her chest.
When Gabriel returned to the seating area, she gathered her courage.
“Will you stay for a while? I wish to speak with you,” she said quietly.
He paused. “You wish to converse at this hour?”
Amelia nodded. “I do.”
After a moment, Gabriel settled onto the long bench near the fire and gestured for her to join him. She crossed the room and sat beside him, and immediately, she became aware of everything.
The warmth of his body. The faint scent of cedar and clean linen. The solid breadth of his shoulders was only inches away. Every sensible thought seemed to flee her mind at once. Amelia wrapped both hands around her teacup simply to give herself something else to focus on.
The fire crackled softly between them. For a moment, neither spoke.
Gabriel sipped his tea before glancing sideways at her. “Whatever is troubling you appears remarkably persistent.” His voice was gentle despite the teasing words.
Amelia looked down into her cup. “I was thinking about the end of my month.”
Gabriel’s expression became unreadable. “You have been worrying about that all evening? That is why you burned a hole in my floors?”
“Among other things.” His gaze lingered on her face. Amelia’s heart gave an embarrassing little flutter.
“I attempted not to think about it,” she admitted. “That strategy proved unsuccessful.”
Gabriel huffed what might almost have been a laugh. “A shocking outcome.”
She nudged his arm lightly with her elbow. “Must you mock me?”
“Constantly,” he smirked.
To her horror, she found the answer rather charming. The silence that followed felt different now, softer, closer.
Amelia stared into the fire and became acutely aware that Gabriel had not moved away. If anything, he seemed even nearer than before. Her pulse quickened. The room suddenly felt too warm despite the cool night beyond the windows. She wondered if he could hear how loudly her heart was beating.
“Amelia.” The sound of her name on his lips sent a shiver through her. She turned her head. Gabriel was already looking at her. For one dangerous moment, neither looked away. His eyes seemed darker in the firelight. Amelia forgot entirely what she had intended to say.
All she knew was that sitting beside him felt far too natural. Far too easy. Far too precious for something that was supposedly temporary. The realization frightened her almost as much as it thrilled her.
Amelia had intended to discuss practical matters.
That was the problem. The moment Gabriel sat beside her on the bench before the hearth, practicality had abandoned her entirely.
The fire crackled softly behind the grate, casting warm light across the room while the scent of tea mingled with the familiar scent that always seemed to cling to him, something distinctly masculine that made her thoughts wander in dangerous directions.
She desperately tried to remember what had seemed so important only minutes ago. Across from her, Gabriel studied her over the rim of his teacup before lowering it and setting it carefully on the table.
“You asked me to stay because you wished to discuss something,” he said, shifting slightly on the bench so that one arm rested along the back. His grey eyes settled on her face with quiet amusement. “Or have you forgotten?”
Amelia opened her mouth at once, determined to sound composed. “I have not forgotten,” she replied, only to realize that she absolutely had forgotten.
One dark eyebrow rose in immediate disbelief. “You have forgotten,” Gabriel said, his mouth twitching as though he were attempting not to smile.
Amelia straightened defensively and tucked an errant curl behind her ear. “I have misplaced it temporarily,” she corrected.
Gabriel let out a low hum and leaned back against the bench. “An important distinction, I am sure,” he replied gravely, though the amusement in his eyes betrayed him.
To her horror, Amelia found herself smiling.
Unfortunately, looking at him proved a mistake.
The firelight softened the harder lines of his face, and a careless lock of dark hair had fallen across his forehead. Before she could stop herself, her fingers twitched with the absurd desire to brush it away.
Good heavens. What is wrong with me?
She lowered her gaze so quickly that tea sloshed dangerously close to the rim of her cup.
For several moments, she concentrated fiercely on recovering her dignity before her thoughts finally returned.
“The trial period,” she said at last, setting her cup carefully onto its saucer.
The amusement disappeared from Gabriel’s expression almost immediately.
Amelia folded her hands together in her lap and looked towards the fire. “When we were in the carriage earlier, David said I should stay here forever,” she continued. “I was going to let him know that I am only here for a month, but you interrupted me.”
Gabriel remained silent for a moment, studying the flames.
“Why did you interrupt me?” Amelia asked, turning to look at him.
“I did do that,” Gabriel admitted, inclining his head slightly.
The immediate honesty surprised her. “You did,” she confirmed. “On purpose?”
Gabriel’s gaze shifted from the hearth back to her face. “Yes,” he said simply.
Amelia stared at him before letting out a small laugh of disbelief. “You admit that remarkably easily.”
Gabriel shrugged one shoulder. “There seemed little point in denying it.” His expression grew more serious as he glanced towards the fire again. “David was happy.” The words came quietly. “Valerie was happy. They were laughing and talking and behaving like family rather than survivors.”
The softness in his voice made her chest ache.
Gabriel clasped his hands loosely together and stared into the flames. “I did not wish to ruin the moment,” he admitted.
Something tightened inside Amelia’s chest because she believed him completely.