Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Amelia stood beside Valerie’s bed while a sea of gowns covered nearly every available surface in the room, yet she could not have said what color a single one of them was. Her thoughts kept drifting back to the previous evening and the feeling of Gabriel’s mouth against hers.
Valerie held a pale blue gown against herself and turned towards the mirror.
“Well?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow.
Amelia blinked several times before realizing a question had been asked. “You could be wearing curtains for all I know,” she admitted, pressing a hand to her forehead, “because I appear to have misplaced my ability to think.”
Valerie lowered the gown and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “That is unlike you,” she observed as she studied Amelia’s face. “You normally have opinions about everything.”
Amelia folded a length of fabric and avoided meeting her gaze.
That is rich coming from the young lady who misses absolutely nothing.
“I assure you I remain perfectly capable of having opinions,” Amelia replied lightly as she busied herself with another dress. “I simply seem to be conserving them today.”
Valerie made a thoughtful noise before selecting a cream gown from the collection. The ball was only days away now, and preparations had consumed the entire household.
Servants hurried through corridors carrying flowers, ribbons, and endless lists while Mrs. Jacobs looked permanently distressed by the chaos.
David had become obsessed with practicing bows he did not need and introducing Shadow to every visitor who crossed the threshold.
Meanwhile, Amelia spent every waking moment trying not to remember that Gabriel had kissed her beside a fire in her room, where they should not have been alone in the first place.
I hardly recognize myself these days with so much scandalous behavior.
The memory was entirely unhelpful. Every time she thought she had banished it, some tiny detail returned to torment her.
The warmth of his hand against her cheek.
The roughness of his voice when he spoke her name.
The look in his eyes before he kissed her was as though he had been fighting the urge for weeks.
It was impossible to reconcile that man with the Duke who spent half his time lecturing her about rules.
Amelia privately suspected that Gabriel spent most of his life arguing with himself.
Valerie disappeared behind a screen to change gowns while Amelia sat near the window and watched the gardens below.
The fourth week was slipping away far too quickly.
Soon, the ball would arrive, and with it the end of her one-month arrangement.
Her stomach tightened unpleasantly as she considered the reality of leaving.
A month ago, I had arrived frightened, exhausted, and entirely uncertain of myself. Now the thought of saying goodbye to David, Valerie, Grover, Shadow, and even their infuriating uncle feels almost unbearable.
The door of the dressing screen opened, and Valerie emerged wearing a soft green gown.
“What do you think of this one?” she asked as she smoothed the skirt nervously.
Amelia straightened and focused her attention where it belonged.
“I think it is lovely,” she said with a smile.
Valerie frowned at her reflection. “Lovely is not helpful.”
Amelia rose and adjusted one of the sleeves. “Then my professional assessment is that half the gentlemen in attendance will forget their own names.”
Valerie laughed despite herself and shook her head. “You exaggerate.”
Amelia stepped back and examined her work. “Not at all,” she replied as she folded her arms. “You are beautiful, intelligent, and capable of terrifying people with a single look. Those qualities are surprisingly effective together.”
Valerie rolled her eyes, though a smile tugged at her mouth. “I am serious, Amelia.”
“So am I,” Amelia said gently as she reached out and squeezed her hand.
Valerie’s expression softened, and for a moment, she looked younger than her years.
The debut had clearly weighed heavily upon her despite her attempts to hide it.
Amelia understood that feeling better than most people ever would.
Too many young women spent years preparing for a future everyone else chose for them.
Too few were ever asked what they wanted.
“I do not know how to be myself in a ballroom,” Valerie admitted quietly as she glanced towards the mirror.
Amelia’s heart tightened at the confession. “That is because everyone spends far too much time trying to become someone else,” she replied as she moved beside her.
Valerie looked unconvinced. “And what if they do not like who I really am?”
Amelia smiled faintly. “Then they are making room for the people who will.”
Valerie studied her reflection for several moments before speaking again. “You truly believe that?” she asked.
Amelia hesitated only briefly. A month ago, she might not have known the answer. Now, she did. “Yes,” she said firmly as she met Valerie’s eyes in the mirror. “Because I spent years trying to become whatever everyone else wanted me to be, and it never made me happy.”
The words lingered between them. Amelia found herself thinking about her parents, her failed engagements, and every decision that had been made on her behalf. She thought about the terrified young woman who had run away rather than surrender her future.
Most of all, she thought about Gabriel telling her she was brave. Nobody had ever called her brave before. The memory settled warmly in her chest.
Valerie moved to sit beside her near the window. “Will you stay for longer than you planned?” she asked quietly as she clasped her hands together.
Amelia’s breath caught. There it was. The question she had been trying desperately not to think about. She looked down at her lap and wished the answer were simple. Unfortunately, nothing involving the Duke of Anderton had ever been simple.
“I do not know,” Amelia admitted at last as she traced a finger along the edge of her sleeve.
Valerie looked disappointed, though not surprised.
Amelia hated seeing that expression. “But I do know one thing,” she continued as she lifted her chin. “I am done allowing other people to decide my future for me.”
Valerie tilted her head curiously. “Even my uncle?”
A smile escaped before Amelia could stop it. “Especially your uncle,” she replied as warmth crept into her cheeks.
Valerie laughed outright this time. “Good luck with that.”
Amelia laughed.
Amelia wandered down the corridor with little awareness of where she was going.
Servants hurried past carrying flowers, ribbons, boxes, and enough fabric to clothe a small army before the upcoming ball.
Every corner of Anderton Manor seemed alive with preparation and excitement.
Amelia barely noticed any of it because her thoughts remained hopelessly tangled around one particular duke.
She had spent the entire morning attempting not to think about Gabriel and had failed with remarkable consistency.
At this point, she suspected her own mind had joined forces with him against her.
She was so distracted that she nearly walked straight past David when he appeared around the corner.
The little boy slowed as he approached her, twisting his fingers together nervously. “Miss Amelia?” he asked, glancing up at her before quickly looking away.
Amelia smiled and crouched slightly to his height. “Good morning, David,” she said warmly as she brushed an imaginary speck of dust from his shoulder.
To her surprise, he opened his mouth as though intending to say something important, then abruptly turned and ran.
“David?” Amelia called after him as he disappeared around the corner. Her smile faded. She remained standing there for a moment, feeling an unexpected ache in her chest.
Have I done something wrong?
The possibility troubled her.
Amelia hurried after him and searched the nearest corridors first. She checked the schoolroom, the morning room, the library, and even the conservatory.
Several servants pointed her in contradictory directions, which only made matters worse.
Mrs. Jacobs informed her that boys possessed an ability to vanish whenever adults wished to find them.
Amelia was beginning to think the housekeeper might be correct.
After nearly twenty minutes of searching, she was ready to recruit Grover for assistance.
At last, she spotted a familiar shoe peeking from behind a decorative alcove near the west corridor.
Amelia paused and folded her arms. She could clearly see the rest of David concealed behind a marble statue that was nowhere near large enough to hide him.
The urge to laugh nearly escaped her. Children were wonderful creatures, but subtle they were not.
Amelia walked forward carefully and stopped beside the alcove.
“I wonder where David could possibly be,” she said thoughtfully as she examined the ceiling. “This is quite mysterious.” Silence followed. Amelia placed a hand dramatically over her heart. “Perhaps he has been abducted by highwaymen and is already halfway to Scotland.”
A small snort emerged from behind the statue despite someone’s obvious attempt to suppress it.
Amelia smiled to herself before leaning against the wall. “Well, if anyone sees him, do tell him I have spent the entire morning searching.” Another pause followed.
Then a small voice emerged from hiding. “You found me.”
Amelia nodded solemnly. “I confess the shoe gave you away.”
David peeked around the statue and looked mildly offended. “It was not supposed to.”
“An unfortunate betrayal,” Amelia agreed as she crouched beside him.
David hesitated before finally stepping out from his hiding place. Something about his expression made her concern return. He looked nervous rather than mischievous. His small hands twisted together while he stared at the floor. Amelia’s heart softened at once.
“What is troubling you?” she asked gently as she settled onto a nearby bench.
David climbed beside her but remained unusually quiet. Several moments passed before he finally spoke.
“Miss Amelia?” he asked, staring at his shoes. Amelia waited patiently. “Does the thing on me make me different?”
Amelia frowned in confusion. “The thing on you?” she repeated carefully as she searched his face.
Then understanding struck her with painful clarity. He meant the scar. Her stomach tightened immediately. Of all the questions she had expected, this was not one of them.
Oh, poor child.
“Oh, David,” she said softly as she turned fully towards him. The protective instinct that surged through her was so fierce it nearly startled her. If anyone had placed that doubt inside his head, she was prepared to march through the house and confront them personally. Possibly with a broom.
“Your scar does not define who you are,” she said firmly as she took his small hand. “People are not their scars any more than they are their hair or their shoes.”
David considered this carefully. “Not even big scars?” he asked.
Amelia shook her head. “Not even enormous scars that can be seen from miles away,” she replied. A faint smile tugged at his mouth. Encouraged, Amelia continued. “A scar is only the past. It does not tell us whether a person is kind or brave or clever.”
David looked relieved, though not entirely convinced.
“My uncle says brave people are stubborn,” David said thoughtfully.
Amelia laughed softly. “Your uncle would know.” That earned her a proper smile.
Amelia squeezed his hand again. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?” she asked.
David shook his head. “I see a boy who rescued a kitten, survives dreadful porridge, and somehow manages to keep both a dog and a cat devoted to him.”
David straightened slightly. “Shadow likes me best.”
“I suspected as much,” Amelia replied gravely. “Cats have notoriously questionable judgment, so you should take it as a compliment.”
David giggled, and the sound eased some of the worry knotting her chest.
Then his smile faded again. “Did my mother do it?” he asked quietly. The question was so soft she almost missed it.
Amelia’s heart broke a little. She chose her next words with great care. “There are some things you will understand better when you are older,” she said gently as she brushed a lock of hair from his forehead.
David looked down at his hands.
“But I can tell you something important.” He glanced back up at her. “Your uncle loves you very, very much.”
David blinked. “He does?” Amelia nearly laughed. The fact that Gabriel’s affection could occasionally be difficult to detect was perhaps his greatest flaw.
“Yes,” she said firmly. “Your uncle would move mountains if it kept you safe.”
David seemed to consider that possibility seriously. “A whole mountain?” he asked.
“Possibly two,” Amelia replied.
The little boy smiled again, and relief flooded through her.
“And no one is ever going to hurt you again,” she added as she squeezed his shoulder.
“Your uncle will make certain of that.” David nodded slowly.
Amelia hesitated before adding, “And so will I.” The promise left her mouth before she fully considered it.
Yet the moment she said it, she knew she meant every word.
David leaned against her side, looking comforted at last. Amelia wrapped an arm around him and stared down the corridor.
The simple gesture filled her with an unexpected sense of purpose.
For most of her life, she had needed rescuing.
Now, somehow, she had become someone capable of protecting others instead.
The realization made her throat tighten.
How am I supposed to leave in a week’s time? Valerie needs confidence. David needs reassurance.
Amelia had arrived believing she was running away from her life, only to discover a place where she finally mattered.
She pressed a kiss to the top of David’s head and smiled faintly. The children needed her. That much was becoming impossible to deny.
As for their uncle…