Nine
“That one looks like a hare.” Gray pointed to one of the fluffy white clouds. He and I lay next to each other on the soft grass, staring up at the blue sky. “And that one—a fox.”
“Mhmm.” I let out a contented sigh, feeling peaceful and relaxed as the clouds drifted slowly above us. “If you could turn into an animal, which one would it be?”
“You tell me. What do you think?” There were notes of curiosity in his deep voice.
I turned my head to meet his silver gaze. After studying his flawless features for a moment, I smiled. “A black panther.”
He smiled back. “How so?”
“You are a fierce guardian of your domain. Powerful, courageous. Your quiet strength reminds me of the animal. And so do your solitary tendencies.”
“Solitary tendencies? I’m hardly ever alone.” He chuckled.
“You might not be alone, but you’re lonely.”
Soft vulnerability invaded his gaze as he rolled to the side and propped up on his elbow, resting his head on his fist. His long black hair shifted, draping around his shoulders. “I feel less and less lonely with each passing day.” He angled his face down to look at me.
I stared up at him as the air between us became strangely charged. “What animal would I be?” The words came out low and breathy.
“A butterfly,” he replied without hesitation. “Graceful and delicate. A symbol of new beginnings; of transformation.”
“A bringer of joy and peace?” I gave him a skeptical look.
“You are to me.”
My breath caught when he uttered the words. His intent gaze roamed my face for a few seconds before dropping to my lips. He ducked his chin and leaned in closer—
My eyes snapped open, and my gaze focused on Gray sitting before me. We were in our usual spot on the patio, where we had been meeting for coffee and training every morning before breakfast.
“Anything?” he asked, hopeful. When I shook my head, his brows pulled together. “You had such a serene expression on your face, I thought that maybe you had managed to awaken your powers.”
“No, I…” I was just thinking about the dream I had last night.
The words almost escaped, but I stopped them.
I hadn’t told Gray about my dreams, and I wasn’t sure I should.
How would I explain that I had been dreaming about him?
In the dream last night, before I had awakened, he was going to kiss me.
There was no way I was going to tell him about that.
“It didn’t work,” I said instead. “There has to be something else I can try.”
We had been training for two weeks, and I had been failing miserably at harnessing my magic. My powers still lay dormant at the bottom of the well inside me.
“There is something else we can try,” he said to my surprise. “You can try using your emotions to fuel your magical abilities.”
“What do you mean? I thought that if I wished something, my magic would follow.”
“Yes, eventually it will be that easy. In the meantime, until you learn to control your magic, you can use your feelings to bring it forth.”
“Why haven’t you told me about this before?” I asked, searching his face.
“I was hoping that you would be able to awaken your powers without tying them to your emotions. I don’t condone using feelings to shape your magic because it makes it unpredictable but seeing how you’re experiencing resistance…” He trailed off.
“Failing. I’m failing,” I clarified flatly, my hands fisting in the skirts of my cream-hued gown.
He gave me an empathetic look. “Let’s try it.”
“Okay.” I sighed and closed my eyes.
I let my breathing slow and my mind go quiet as I focused on what I was feeling.
There was energy moving and flowing inside me, and it wasn’t peaceful.
It was volatile as if it were a reflection of the tumultuous emotions shaped by my growing anxiety about the fate of my kingdom.
I tried to picture myself gathering that energy and channeling it to the source of the magical powers inside me, but just like for the past two weeks, nothing happened.
My eyes pricked with tears when I opened them again. Gray’s striking features blurred as I gave a small shake of my head. Casting my gaze down to my lap, I took a shuddering breath.
The lord brought his thumb and pointer finger to my chin and gently guided my face up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said softly.
The sweet gesture nearly made me burst into tears.
Would he say the same thing if he knew the wards were failing?
The urge to tell him the truth resurfaced, and while I was dwelling on whether to give in to it, the patio door opened, and Gray promptly dropped his hand from my chin.
We both turned toward the sound as Killian stepped outside.
“Your Highness, you have a visitor. Princess Luna Baylor,” the butler said, meeting my gaze.
“Luna is here?” My brows flew up in surprise.
I could think of only one reason why my cousin was here. My father must have told her about the state of the wards, and she had come to try and reinforce them with her magic. Scooping the blanket with sleeping Quilliam from my lap, I rose to my feet. Gray followed suit.
“I’ll take the hedgehog to his cage,” Killian offered as he approached me. He also picked up my empty coffee mug off the table.
Since Gray was still working on his coffee, he took his drink with him as we walked inside the house. We found my cousin in the dining room, in conversation with Thea.
“Luna, what a nice surprise!” I exclaimed, briefly hugging her slim form.
“Emelin!” She smiled at me as I pulled away.
Our gazes locked for a moment, and what I read in her eyes confirmed my suspicion about the reason behind her visit.
“Your Highness,” Gray greeted Luna, drawing her attention to him. He promptly passed his coffee to Thea and bowed.
“Lord Adrian Gray,” I introduced him as he straightened.
“Such a pleasure to meet you,” my cousin purred with a coy smile.
I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.
Luna was quite the coquette, and her reputation with men preceded her.
Many a nobleman had asked for her hand in marriage, but she had turned them all down.
She had always put great emphasis on social status and had been determined to marry a lord for as long as I could remember.
A prince would be ideal, but since Emeraldia was the only kingdom on the continent besides the Fae realm, her options were limited unless she wanted to move across the seas.
“To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?” Gray asked Luna as he received his coffee back from Thea.
“I’ve missed my dear cousin and wanted to visit,” she lied smoothly. Despite having grown up together, she and I were not close. She would never go out of her way to visit me if she didn’t have a good reason.
“I’m happy you’re here,” I told her with sincerity, grateful that she had come to alleviate some of the burden off my father’s shoulders. Why hadn’t her mother, my aunt Lorraine, come to do the same?
“My mother wanted to accompany me, but she decided to visit a friend in Sarmenor instead,” Luna said, as if reading my thoughts. Sarmenor was in the far east, on the coast of the Astara Sea. My father must have sent my aunt there to check on the barrier.
“I would have loved to see her, but I understand. You’ll have to tell her that she can visit anytime. Please, join us for breakfast.”
When Luna inclined her head in agreement, Killian helped her shrug off her periwinkle cloak, revealing a tight-fitting baby-blue dress underneath.
For some reason, my gaze darted to Gray’s face to gauge his reaction.
With golden-blonde hair, large, emerald-green eyes, and full pink lips, Luna was stunning, and I had often been envious of her growing up.
While I was of average height and curvy, Luna was tall and thin, and I had always thought she looked like a real princess, whereas I didn’t.
She agreed with me, too, as she had told me on more than one occasion.
If Luna’s appearance had any effect on the lord, he didn’t show it. His piercing gaze swung to me as he gestured toward the table. “After you.”
With a small nod, I walked past him to my chair as Luna sauntered over to the seat opposite me, to the lord’s immediate left.
My brows knitted as I watched her watching Gray as he strolled to the head of the table.
Before we all could take our seats, Tom walked in, stopping in his tracks when he noticed Luna.
“Oh, great, now there are two of them,” he grumbled under his breath as he strode to the table.
Even after two weeks of my staying on the estate, Tom still treated me as if I were a nuisance.
I responded in kind, treating him with cool indifference after deciding that I didn’t care much about his opinion of me.
There was only one person at the manor whose opinion mattered greatly to me—Gray.
I had always respected competent people, and the lord had an air of self-assurance about him that I admired.
I craved his approval, and it was very disheartening that I hadn’t made any progress in harnessing my magic.
“Tom, we have a special visitor. Princess Luna Baylor. Your Highness, this is my adviser, Tom Ariet.” Gray made the introductions.
When Tom approached the seat next to Luna, I half-expected him to tell my cousin that she was in his spot, but he didn’t. Instead, he bowed and said in a clipped tone, “Pleasure.”
After we had sat down, a rather awkward breakfast ensued.
Luna took only a few bites of her food, which wasn’t a surprise.
She had always been vigilant about her figure and often criticized me for eating too much.
While she wasn’t interested in the food, she was very obviously interested in Gray.
Her attention was directed at him the entire time, making me quickly lose my appetite.
He didn’t seem to reciprocate her interest, looking rather uncomfortable.
He wasn’t the only one as I caught Thea smirking and Tom rolling his eyes every time Luna tried to engage Gray in conversation.
When breakfast was finally over, Gray and Tom were quick to retreat to the lord’s study, leaving Thea, Luna, and me in the dining room. Silence stretched for a few minutes as I tried to come up with an excuse to visit the border. Luna came up with it first.
“This is my first time in Zalie. I would love to see the area,” she prompted, meeting my gaze.
“Oh, what a wonderful idea!” Thea clapped her hands in excitement.
One of the things I had learned about her in the past two weeks was that she didn’t like to sit idle and took every opportunity to leave the manor.
“Gray has to catch up on some work today, so he and Tom will not be able to join us, but the three of us can go for a carriage ride through the countryside.”
Even better. Fewer witnesses for our detour to the Enwyld Forest.