Eleven
“Gray,” I said as I approached him. He turned around and greeted me, his expression unreadable.
I couldn’t shake the palpable tension between us.
“You wanted to speak with me?” I went on, making sure my voice didn’t waver.
I had my suspicions about why the lord had called me into his study, and I wanted to get the conversation over with, though I wasn’t sure how it would unfold.
“Thea told me that you and Luna went to the border today.” He got straight to the point.
My heart sank. “We did.”
He stared at me expectantly, giving me the opportunity to continue on my own.
As silence stretched between us, I once again marveled at how poised and confident he looked against the backdrop of his study.
Surrounded by masculine elegance, he stood unmoving with his hands behind his back.
Dressed in a crisp white shirt, a dark-gray vest, and trousers of the same color, he looked the picture of immaculate grace.
A faint scent of cigars clinging to him also added to his allure. Wait, what?
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and said, “Yes. Luna wanted to see the border.”
“She wanted to do more than that, didn’t she? Killian said it had looked like she was using her magic to strengthen the wards.”
All color drained from my face as a tense silence descended again. Do I lie or do I tell the truth?
“The royal women are prohibited from using their powers to reinforce the wards,” Gray carried on, his intent gaze searching my face.
My breath caught in my throat, but I kept my features schooled as I stared back at him.
When I didn’t respond, he stepped closer to me and leaned in as if we were about to share a secret. “Emelin, what is going on?” he asked softly.
Tears rushed to the surface at his gentle tone. Everyone deserved to know the truth. As the lord of the region on the border with Aubrielle, he deserved it the most.
“The wards are growing weaker,” I confessed, my voice dropping to a whisper.
Gray paled but gave no other indication that he had heard me. His gaze grew distant for a moment as he ruminated on the implications of what I had revealed.
“How long have you known?” he asked when he refocused on me.
“I found out two weeks ago when I visited the border with my father. That’s why I decided to stay behind and train. I need to unlock my powers so I can use them to help with the wards and the worsening weather.”
“Are the two connected?”
“It’s unclear, but my father is looking for a solution to both. That’s why he asked Lady May to move to Nasyra to train my brother.”
“And that’s why you decided to train here. To keep watch on the wards,” Gray surmised as understanding dawned on his handsome face. “A very courageous act on your part.”
I blushed at the notes of admiration in his voice. “I wish the reason behind my decision to stay here were that noble. The truth is I mainly was trying to escape the capital and my past, if only for a short while.”
He gave me a dubious look. “That couldn’t have been the main reason. I’ve seen how deeply you care about your realm. In fact, now that I know the truth, your behavior makes much more sense.”
Panic surged. What if I had made a mistake trusting him with that knowledge?
“Please don’t tell anyone,” I begged. “My father will find a solution.”
The words hung between us in the otherwise quiet room as Gray’s silver gaze roamed my features.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked. “Being only one of the few people who know the truth must be a heavy burden.”
The burning behind my eyes intensified as I was touched by the thoughtfulness behind his question.
“It is,” I admitted. “I’m glad you also share that burden now.” The panic I had felt a moment ago about confiding in him subsided. The pressure on my shoulders alleviated slightly, and I welcomed the relief.
“You should have told me sooner, but I understand why you didn’t. I do hope that only honesty will exist between us from now on.” One side of his mouth lifted as he reached up and tucked a lock of hair that had escaped my bun behind my ear.
I suddenly realized how close we were standing to each other, with very little space separating us. Gray must have realized it, too, because he took a step back and cleared his throat.
“Do you know how long your cousin will be staying?” he asked nonchalantly, glancing out the window at the darkening sky outside.
“She’s leaving in the morning.” I fought a smile when the lord sighed with relief. “She’s beautiful,” I added, unable to stop myself.
“She is,” he agreed as he met my gaze.
“She wants to marry a lord,” I went on, watching for his reaction.
“Good for her.” His eyes were boring into me.
“Are you not interested?” I asked and held my breath.
“Not in her.” His tone implied that he was interested in me, and his eyes widened as soon as he uttered the words. He was shocked by his admission, and he wasn’t the only one.
Speechless, I stared at him as the room grew smaller around us, pushing us closer together. Gray stepped toward me, reclaiming the distance he had put between us a few seconds ago.
“Dinner is served,” Thea announced as she burst into the study.
The lord promptly stepped away from me again as I ran my hands down my skirt, looking anywhere else in the room but at him.
Thea drew up short by the door. Her eyes grew big, and there was a question in them as she looked between Gray and me.
Ignoring her, I forced myself to look at the lord. “Please honor my request,” I said when he met my gaze.
“I will. We have an understanding.” The secret is safe with me. I read the meaning in his eyes.
After a small nod in his direction, I hurried out of the study, passing puzzled Thea on my way out.
Dinner turned into another uncomfortable experience with Luna vying for Gray’s attention, and him skillfully dodging her advances.
When my cousin realized that she wasn’t getting anywhere with the lord, she retired for the night early.
I was grateful for that as I found being in her company for long periods of time taxing.
After she had gone upstairs, I didn’t remain downstairs for long, feeling emotionally drained from the events of the day.
I went to my room, showered, and added a few more notes to my diary before settling into bed.
Though I was tired, sleep wouldn’t come.
After tossing and turning for a few hours, I donned a robe over my nightgown and left my bedroom.
Creeping through the dark and quiet house, I made my way to the library, which lately had been kept warm at all hours to accommodate Quilliam.
When I walked in, the cozy space was cast in an amber light coming from the glow of the lit fireplace and the lamp by the sofa.
“Good evening,” I greeted my pet as I let him out of his cage to roam around freely. While he was doing that, I moved to the easel by the window and began working on a new painting, my brush strokes accompanied by the whisper of the rain outside and Quilliam clattering around.
About half an hour later, another sound interrupted the tranquil setting when I heard footsteps by the library door. When it creaked open, I peeked from behind the canvas just as Gray popped his head in. He was trying not to draw attention to himself as he quickly scanned the room.
“She’s not here,” I said quietly.
When his gaze found mine, Gray visibly relaxed before strolling into the library and closing the door behind him.
“I have no idea what you mean.” He was fighting a smile as he approached me. He must have just gotten out of bed because he was wearing a robe over casual pants and a nightshirt. His hair looked unruly on top of his head, which gave him a roguish appearance.
“Mmhmm.” I chuckled low.
“What are you doing up?” he asked, coming to stand on the other side of the easel.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me neither.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Is it because of what I had said earlier?” Stars knew the fate of Emeraldia had kept me up on more than one occasion since learning the truth.
“That’s only partially the reason. The other thing you revealed is also very unsettling.”
“The other thing?” I asked, confused.
“Yes, that Luna wants to marry a lord. I feel like I need to sleep with one eye open while she’s in the house.”
A short laugh bubbled up at his words. “She can be quite relentless, but I think she has given up for the time being.”
“Still, I will feel better when she leaves. May I take a look at what you are working on?”
“You may. The piece is inspired by the dream I had last night.”
Gray stepped around the easel and looked at the canvas, which depicted a black panther and a blue butterfly.
“This is exceptionally good! What a realistic rendition.”
“Thank you! I found a book about the Kingdom of Solaria in your collection. Did you know that black panthers are native to that realm? I used the tome as a reference.”
“Interesting. And the butterfly?”
“That came from my imagination.”
“Very vibrant. The blue is a beautiful contrast with the black on the panther.”
“I thought so, too!” I exclaimed a bit too excitedly, pleased by his acute observation. Self-conscious, I shifted from foot to foot. “If you were an animal, which one would you be?” I was curious to see if he would give the same answer as he had in my dream.
He took a moment to think it over. “A lone wolf,” he finally said with subtle notes of bitterness in his voice.
“Wolves are intelligent and intuitive, so that fits. Though I would disagree about the ‘lone’ part,” I countered.
“You would?” He arched a brow.
I nodded. “You do have a pack. It is small but close-knit.”
“At times, too close.” He shook his head. “What about you? What animal would you be?”
“Someone once told me that I reminded them of a butterfly.”
Gray took his time studying the butterfly on the canvas before returning his gaze to me. “I can see it.” He smiled. “They are a symbol of happiness and joy, and you did bring light with you when you barged into my world.”
I grimaced. “Clairborne does mean 'a child of light' in the old language, though I don’t consider myself a particularly radiant person.”
“A light doesn’t have to burn brightly to radiate warmth.” Our gazes locked and held. “As beauty doesn’t have to be loud to be exquisite.”
My lips parted on a soft inhale as the paintbrush began slipping from my fingers. Tightening my grip on it, I averted my gaze. “And here I thought I was a distraction.”
“Oh, you are most definitely a distraction. Now more so than ever.” He turned and walked away. “But I find I don’t mind it,” he added so low that I almost missed it. He strolled over to Quilliam’s cage and looked inside. “Um, Emelin? Where is Quilliam?”
“I let him out to get some exercise. He’s right there by the bookshelf.”
Gray turned to me. “You let him just wander around? What if he gets lost or stepped on?”
“He won’t.” I waved away his concerns. “I’m keeping an eye on him.”
“That doesn’t seem safe.” He retrieved Quilliam’s blanket and walked over to the hedgehog.
“If you wanted to hold him, you could have just said so,” I teased as he picked him up.
“I could have.” Gray smiled. “But using the excuse of valiantly coming to his rescue is much more manly.”
We both chuckled as he grabbed a book off the shelf and walked to the sofa.
“Are you going to read to him? How sweet!” I joked with a little laugh.
Gray feigned insult. “I am not reading to a hedgehog, but I can read to you if you’d like.”
“That would be lovely.”
His deep voice joined the sound of rain as I continued painting, adding more dimension to the panther’s black coat.
While I worked, the lord read a story about childhood friends who set off on an adventure to explore distant lands.
Since I preferred romance, the book was not something I would typically pick up, but it was entertaining, and Gray did an excellent job conveying a range of emotions with his rich baritone.
“Done!” I said after a while as I set the paintbrush down. “I think this might be my best work yet.”
When no answer came, I realized that the room had been quiet for some time.
Gray was asleep sitting up on the sofa, with Quilliam climbing over the book in his lap.
Smiling to myself, I quickly cleaned up the painting supplies, careful not to make too much noise, and walked over to them.
I moved the open book to the coffee table and transferred Quilliam to his cage.
Gray was still asleep when I walked back over to him.
Should I wake him or let him sleep? Deciding on the former, I reached for him but hesitated as my gaze swept over his refined features relaxed in his slumber.
I had never seen him look this peaceful.
Without realizing it, I pressed my fingertips to his cheek.
I froze when he stirred from his sleep. A soft sigh escaped him as he turned his face into my touch.
With my palm now resting fully on his cheek, I stole a few seconds to admire his masculine beauty before my gaze dropped to his mouth.
His lips were parted slightly. What would it feel like to kiss them?
I leaned in just as Gray opened his eyes.
Our gazes met, and the world felt suspended for a split second before I panicked and backed away, running into the coffee table behind me.
“Are you okay?” He sat up straighter, reaching for me.
“Yes.” I evaded his touch and stepped away from the table. “You fell asleep reading. Quilliam is in his cage. I finished the painting.”
“I did? You did?” He glanced at the easel. He looked a bit disoriented, having just woken up, and I took advantage of his distracted state to make my escape.
“Good night,” I muttered, slipping through the door.
“Emelin?” I stopped and forced myself to look at him, even though my face felt like it was on fire. One side of his mouth turned up. “Good night.”
I stared at him a moment longer before I walked out.