Twenty One
Despite getting very little sleep, I woke up early the following morning, engulfed in Adrian’s warmth and his scent.
The soft light streaming through the gap in the curtains cast the room in blue undertones, and the air was cold, chilling my nose and the tips of my toes peeking from under the covers.
Curling my knees up, I snuggled closer to him as a feeling of serenity enveloped me.
What I had experienced last night… I had never experienced that with Gideon. With Adrian, I hadn’t felt inexperienced or unsure. There had been no room for doubt when my skin had hummed from his touch, and our bodies had fit perfectly together. There had been no room for anything but pleasure.
A wave of sharp, tight tingles erupted over my skin at the thought, and I brought my back flush with Adrian’s hard chest, wanting to be as close as possible.
My lips curled into a smile when he shifted behind me and wrapped his arm over my waist to pull me even closer.
Not an inch of space separated us, and my blood heated at the contact.
A shiver went through me when his lips brushed my neck, trailing soft kisses all the way up to my ear.
“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice rough from sleep.
“Good morning,” I replied, turning my face into the pillow to hide my smile.
“What are you doing?” He lifted off the bed to peer down at me.
“Nothing,” came my muffled reply as I felt my face heat.
“Are you blushing?” he teased, gently tugging on my waist to turn me around to face him. “You weren’t shy last night, Princess.”
I hadn’t been shy—I had been bold and eager as we had explored each other. Still, my cheeks were flushed now when I finally looked at him. His eyes danced with amusement at first as they flicked over my features, but then something else invaded his gaze.
“How are you?” he asked, gently tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
“I feel perfect,” I replied, and I truly did.
The outside world had ceased to exist last night when Adrian had walked into my room and closed the door behind him.
Soon we would have to open the door again, and the world would come rushing back in, but in this moment, it was only he and I, and a feeling of bliss warming my chest and spreading to my entire body.
A smile broke across my face as I stared up at him, feeling as though I were dreaming because he was finally mine.
To make sure it wasn’t a dream, I lifted my hand and ran my fingers through his hair.
I had done so many times last night, but I couldn’t get enough.
Being able to touch him like this, whenever I pleased…
I reveled in this freedom. A sigh of contentment left him as he closed his eyes, enjoying my touch.
“How are you?” I asked, moving my hand from his hair to cup his cheek.
I held my breath, waiting for his answer. A tiny part of me was afraid that he would regret last night. He had wanted me—I knew that without a doubt—but he had also hesitated as if something had been holding him back. Must have been my status or the shadows of his past.
Adrian opened his eyes to look at me, and I was instantly captivated by his gaze.
“I’ve never been better.” He turned his face into my palm and dropped a kiss there.
A shuddering exhale of relief left me as I pressed my fingertips to his cheek before skimming them over his lips—the lips that had kissed every inch of me last night.
Following the track of my fingers with my gaze, I glided them over the strong jaw to the column of his neck and lower, to his hard chest and torso.
The chiseled muscles flexed under my touch, and my throat dried when I remembered how it had felt to have the weight of his body on mine.
Adrian’s breath hitched when I reached the fine dusting of hair below his navel.
Smiling sultry, I was about to dive under the covers that pooled around his waist, but to my surprise, he stopped me, closing his fingers around mine.
When my questioning gaze darted to his, concern marked his features.
“Don’t go to the border today.” He brought my hand to his mouth and skimmed his lips over my knuckles.
“What?” My brow furrowed.
“Do you truly believe that you’re strong enough to reinforce the wards?” he asked quietly, lowering our joined hands to rest between us on the bed.
Taken aback by the question, I stared at him in disbelief for a moment before I found my voice.
“I don’t know if I am, but I have to try.
I’ve been training for this reason. I know you’re worried about my safety, but I have to do anything in my power to help my kingdom. You understand that, don’t you?”
He grew pale at my words as deep sadness crept into his eyes. All color drained from my face as well as I stared at him, unsure of what to make of his strange reaction.
“I do.” He swallowed thickly. “I understand. Probably more than anyone.” His eyes shuttered, and his brows pinched as he looked down at our joined hands. “We do fit so perfectly together,” he murmured as if to himself.
He looked dejected, and my heart turned over at the sight. I was willing to do anything to chase away the shadows hovering over him, to lift the weight bearing down on him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as foreboding slithered down my spine.
When he didn’t answer, I sat up in bed, letting the covers glide down, exposing my chest. The cool air kissed my skin, but I didn’t feel it, too focused on the man before me, who seemed to be in his own world, struggling with a darkness I couldn’t see and didn’t understand.
Adrian’s eyes lifted to my breasts, and hunger splashed across his features.
His stare was like a physical touch, making me shiver.
His gaze glided over my body before slowly traveling up to my face.
The deep longing I had glimpsed yesterday had returned, confusing me with its intensity.
He had me now, yet he still longed for me, as if he knew that I wouldn’t be his forever.
He looked at me as though I were slipping through his fingers while he was desperately trying to hold on.
“Emelin, you mean so much to me. Don’t ever forget that,” he whispered, resting his forehead against mine.
The way he had uttered the words intensified the feeling of foreboding. I sealed my lips to his, trying to recapture the feeling of lightness I had woken up with before everything had become so heavy. Adrian kissed me back deeply and desperately as if it were his last time doing so.
“What’s wrong?” I asked again, breaking the kiss to look into his eyes. Shadows crawled in them, making the silver hue darker.
“Nothing.” He forced a smile that didn’t reach those haunted eyes. “We should get ready.”
I didn’t want to leave this room, but when I reached for him, he stood up from the bed, and my fingers closed around thin air before my hand dropped to the mattress.
My brows knitted as I watched him quickly get dressed.
He seemed to hesitate before he turned around and met my gaze again. My frown deepened.
“I’ll see you downstairs,” he said. His tone was lighter, but the heaviness about him hadn’t abated.
“I’ll see you there,” came my low reply as I gathered the covers and brought them up to my chest. I wasn’t trying to hide from him, but from this oppressive feeling that had filled the room, straining the air between us.
His gaze roamed over my features for a moment, taking in every little detail as if he was trying to commit the picture of me sitting before him to memory.
His hand twitched as if he wanted to reach for me, and I wished he would.
I wanted him to touch me and kiss me, and disperse this darkness that emanated from him, threatening to pull me under.
But he didn’t reach for me. Instead, he balled his hand into a fist and walked out of the room.
After he had left, I sat unmoving for a few seconds.
Last night had been one of the best of my life.
I had awakened feeling happy and content because at least one part of my life had finally made sense.
But now, uncertainty filled it again, caused by Adrian’s bizarre behavior.
Tears threatened, but I forced them down, swallowing the lump in my throat.
I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. I would talk to Adrian and figure out where we would go from here.
I could move back to Zalie and continue my training with him.
Surely he wouldn’t want to be apart from me now after what we had shared.
With a heavy sigh, I climbed out of the bed, clutching the covers to my chest, and walked over to the window, my bare feet pattering on the cold stone floor.
I peered outside, and my heart dropped at the sight of a pristine white blanket covering the ground.
It had snowed again last night. The view was beautiful but devastating.
I shivered, at once aware of the chill radiating from the window.
My skin prickled as the cold seeped into my pores, chilling my insides.
I wanted to cry again, but now for a different reason—Emeraldia was fading away right before my eyes.
I stood frozen for several long minutes before I shook myself out of that state.
Standing here, doing nothing, was useless.
I needed to get ready and head to the border, where I hoped I could do something to help my kingdom.
Frowning, I glanced in the direction of the bathing chamber. I didn’t want to shower and erase Adrian’s scent from my skin. A strange feeling flared in my chest when I thought about washing away the memories of our night together.
Don’t be silly. I gave a small shake of my head. What we had shared last night… I would experience it with him again. I refused to believe the alternative.
Willing my numb limbs to move, I showered and got dressed in a simple forest-green dress and thick black leggings. After braiding my hair, I stepped into my boots and left the bedroom.