Chapter 14 #2
“Not exactly.” She shrugged then stopped abruptly in front of a door on our left. “But everyone brings guests in, so it's an unwritten rule for the soldiers to not squeal.” She flashed me a sly grin, and then without any warning, banged her fist on the door.
My body tensed with instant regret about letting her talk me into this. I considered racing away down the hall, but Sebastian would likely see me running, which would arguably be even more embarrassing than what we were doing.
His door was made of a metal so thick that I couldn't hear if he said anything from beyond it. For all I knew, he could already be on his way to my dorm. I kind of hoped that he was. But then the lock on his door clicked and swung open to reveal a very drowsy, and very shirtless Sebastian.
I had to clench my teeth together to keep my mouth from falling to the floor at the sight of him.
His physique was even more impressive when it lacked clothing.
His abdomen was rigid and well defined, making it obvious that he spent a lot of time training.
My eyes fluttered to his arms—purely toned muscle that rippled as he moved his grip to the doorframe above him.
I could fully make out the tattoo on his bicep now, which was in fact a dagger.
I knew that he had a nice body, but seeing him like this left me speechless. Completely thoughtless.
My pulse quickened as our eyes locked. His eyebrows lowered at the sight of me, and my stomach twisted from the intensity of his stare. Then as if I wasn't even there, he turned his attention back to Pia. He was probably angry that I’d left my dorm without him, but he'd just have to get over it.
“What's up?” He dropped his hand from the doorframe to run it over his face and then through his unkempt hair.
“Just here to return your book. Maeve found it this morning lodged into her chair. We went and got breakfast together so I figured we'd drop it off.” She reached her hand out with the book in it.
He nodded as he took it, holding it up in a wave of gratitude. “Thanks,” he mumbled, then lifted an eyebrow. “How did you get in here?”
Pia smirked, and I choked on a laugh. Her face turned a shade of red, similar to her strawberry blonde hair.
Sebastian shook his head. “I don't even want to know.” He turned his body halfway and tossed the book into his room. The muscles of his torso tightened with the movement and I couldn't stop my wandering eyes.
“Alright, well, thanks again,” he said, fighting back a smug smirk that told me that he saw how I looked at him.
“Sure thing. See you later,” Pia replied, then started further down the hall.
Sebastian paled as he watched her slip into his friend's room. Flustered, he looked back towards me. “I'll be at your dorm around two to bring you to your meeting. I expect that you'll be there?” he asked coldly.
I nodded, my head bowing slightly as I turned and started off down the hall. This was pointless—he didn't want to talk to me, and I wasn't going to make him.
I only got a few yards before he called out for me. “Wait.”
“You don't need to walk me back,” I argued as I peered over my shoulder, expecting him to be behind me. But he was still standing in the doorway. Just waiting.
“I’m not. Come back.”
Though reluctant at first, I overlooked my hesitancy and marched back to meet him. He stepped aside, letting me into his room.
The layout of his bedchambers was similar to mine, but triple the size.
The walls were a deep olive green, the color adding a moodiness to the atmosphere.
Cherrywood molding outlined the ceiling from which a light fixture hung, leaving a soft yellow glow over the bed below it.
His wardrobe and desk looked like mine, except stained a darker brown to match his bed frame.
However, the most impressive part of his room was the remarkable bookshelf that covered the entire wall across from his bed.
I knew that Sebastian liked to read, but didn’t know he was so passionate about it. I had to stop myself from smirking. The thought of the king's head soldier having such an innocent hobby kind of turned me on.
No, Maeve. No it doesn’t. Stop it right now.
Sebastian shut the leaden door behind us then leaned back against it. Our gazes were glued to one another and I had to fight my eyes as they tried to roam his body.
I didn't know what to say. Having thought that he wouldn't want to talk to me, I didn't prepare for what I’d say if he did.
“Was there something you wanted to say?” I asked, my attitude shining through my words. I remembered his disregard for me when I got here, which ticked me off.
He clicked his tongue. “Yes.”
Silence.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What is it then?”
“What's with the sass?” he deadpanned.
“I’m not being sassy.”
He snickered, biting his lip as his eyes met the ceiling.
“If you're going to keep me here, can you at least put a shirt on?”
“Why? Don't like the view?”
I sucked in a breath. I loved the view, but it certainly created feelings within me that I wished it wouldn't.
“Could you be any cockier?”
His muscular shoulder shrugged. “Yeah, probably.”
I scoffed and made for the doorway that he still blocked. There was no point in staying here if we were just going to banter back and forth. “Excuse me.”
His eyes softened as they met mine again, and I allowed them to calm the raging storm inside of me. “Hold on.”
Sebastian ruptured the tension by pushing off the door and strutting to his wardrobe, where he pulled a dark shirt over his head, tucking it into the band of his lounge pants.
Then he approached me, letting out a deep sigh and adjusting his stance.
“I don't want to keep doing or saying things that end with me having to apologize to you,” he confessed.
“Oh, you’re ready to talk now?” I said satirically.
He glared at me, his full lips knitting together.
“I’m sorry,” I huffed, giving in to his honesty, “me either. I should know better than to ask personal questions to someone who only spends time with me because they're forced to.” Sadness coated my voice as the words left my tongue, reminding me how I was nothing more than an assignment to him.
He grimaced and stepped closer to me, not leaving much space between our bodies. The blood in my veins burned in response to the close proximity of his body to mine.
“That's not true. I didn’t mean what I said that night. Sometimes I just get agitated, and I don’t know why. I overreacted. I just…don’t know,” he stuttered through his words.
He may not have been able to put into words how he felt, but I knew what he meant—it was a feeling I knew all too well. “You don’t have to explain.”
“I should explain, though. I—”
“I understand. Really,” I assured him.
He clenched his jaw, but his body seemed to relax a bit, as if the strain between us had been bothering him as well.
My lungs held onto air as I tried to speak. “So…are we good?”
He nodded slowly, chewing the corner of his bottom lip.
Then, time seemed to stop. Sebastian looked at me as if he was trying to memorize every detail of my skin.
Icy eyes met mine, sorrow and desire muddled into them.
His heated stare made my body tremble, and I had to clench my fists to stop myself from losing my composure.
His lips parted ever so slightly, as if he was going to tell me a secret.
He would destroy me if he kept looking at me like that.
I took a step back, putting space between us to avoid doing something I’d regret—like throwing my arms around him and slamming my lips against his.
“Okay, so I guess I'll see you later on?” The words came out too casually, but casual was the only tone of voice that wouldn't give away the array of emotions swirling in my brain.
“Yeah.” He stepped back as well, and I gave him a quick glance before turning my back on him.
“You're going straight to your room?”
I nodded, not looking back.
“No stops at the beach?”
A smile tugged at my lips. “Not today. Too cold.”
“Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back?”
“Will you get scolded if you don’t?”
“Not if you don't get caught.” He stepped to my side, opening and holding the door for me.
“I won’t. I’m quite sneaky when I need to be.” I flashed him a wink over my shoulder. “See you later.” As I started out the door, his hand caught my wrist and pulled my gaze back to him.
“I really am sorry,” he said softly, his words simple but heartfelt.
My skin quivered from his touch, and all though he noticed, he did not acknowledge the reaction.
“Me, too.” I granted him a gentle smile. When his grip went slack, I made my way down the stairs, taking in what the hell just happened.
I'd never had my body react to someone in the way that it just did.
I couldn't deny that there was something about Sebastian that made me want to lose all sense of control.
I'd known him for two months—most of which had been spent fighting with or ignoring him. But the way I was drawn to him made it feel like I’d known him for years.
I chewed on my lower lip. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but there was no hiding the feelings that arose when he was near me.
But he and I would never work. Like Pia said earlier—relationships between soldiers and students were frowned upon.
The king would never allow it, and I doubted Sebastian would ever want it, anyway.
This is just a stupid crush because you saw his abs.
But it wasn’t. And I knew that.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I mumbled under my breath as I stepped outside. There was an undeniable attraction—the reason I had been so upset that we weren't talking.
I was falling for him, even though I didn't want to.