Chapter 35
Chapter
Thirty-Five
Sebastian and I got dressed and made our way to our group's usual hangout spot—Kohen's room.
“Aren't you tired?” I asked him as we sauntered through the hall, my legs still weak from pleasure. I quite honestly didn't know how he was still standing. We slept for an hour or so, but his ride home from Craterra took a few days, and after what we just did, he must be exhausted.
He shrugged, suddenly solemn. “I probably won’t be able to sleep much, anyway.”
I figured that much. He’d likely lie in bed tonight, gazing at the ceiling while he relived the past few months over and over in his head.
I couldn't even begin to imagine the things he'd seen as a soldier. Someday I'd have to see those things as well. To my knowledge, there was no way to prepare for seeing bodies collapse and bleed out around you, some of them by the knife in your own hand.
The vision made me tremble. I didn't know how I could ever kill someone. I did know however, that someday—likely soon—I’d have no other choice.
No wonder Sebastian was the way he was. I could hardly stomach the thought of killing someone, let alone actually do it.
I took a step back and watched him stroll to his friend’s room as if nothing at all happened back in Craterra.
Sebastian caught me studying him. He fell back and put his arm over my shoulder. “I know what you're thinking, and I'm telling you, I’m really fine.”
“I know.” I let him think that I believed him. There was no way he was okay after all of that. He was the strongest man I’d ever met, but he would break. It was just a matter of time. And when he did, I’d be there to pick up the pieces.
Sebastian dropped his arm to open Kohen's door, where our friends were waiting to welcome him home. Pia’s eyes widened when she saw him.
She lunged at her cousin, squealing as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.
Kohen had to practically tear her away so that he could greet his friend after months of uncertainty.
Sawyer winked as he approached us. My cheeks flushed as he held his hand up to Sebastian for a high five, which he of course declined with a look of warning, instead pulling his friend into a one-armed hug.
Sawyer’s expression softened. “Glad you're back.”
Sebastian patted his back. “Me too.”
They pulled away from each other when Kohen waved a bottle between them. “Who wants a celebratory drink?”
We all took turns with the bottle and filled Sebastian in on what he missed.
Sawyer told him how my training had been going well, and how I almost kicked his ass.
His words, not mine. I knew that I knocked him down at least a couple times in the past few months.
We laughed as we told Sebastian about the sad excuse of a birthday party we threw him, ruined by yours truly.
I was glad there were no hard feelings about that night.
It was making for a fun evening, but then Pia raised a question. “Hey, where's Jocelyn? She must be back now, too, right?” She took a slug from the bottle, then passed it to Kohen.
Sawyer tried to act nonchalant, but I knew he was wondering about Jocelyn’s whereabouts, as well. He was just too uptight to ask himself.
All eyes pointed to Sebastian, awaiting his response, but he didn't say a word.
He just…froze.
Complete and utter silence filled the room, and my heart sank with realization.
Pia gasped, throwing a hand up to cover her quivering lips.
Kohen clenched his jaw, his knuckles turning white around the bottle.
And Sawyer fucking screamed.
He yelled so loud that the bottle fell from Kohen's hand, shattering on the floor.
Sawyer stepped through the shards of glass and grabbed Sebastian by the shoulders, shaking him. “Do not tell me that what I'm thinking is true.” His eyes were already sparkled with wetness.
“I'm sorry, man. I did everything I could, but there was too much blood. I couldn't stop it. She…I—” Sebastian stuttered through the unwelcome news. “She wasn't alone. I buried her. I—” He stopped himself again. There was no need to say anything more.
Sawyer’s arms slumped to his sides. He looked up at the ceiling in disbelief, then hung his head and began to pace through the room.
The silence was deafening. Horrifying. But no one dared to break it despite our own grief. We waited for Sawyer to do the honors.
With a tic in his jaw, Sawyer stormed back to where Sebastian stood, jamming an accusatory finger into his chest. “I was here, keeping your girl safe, and you couldn't do the same fucking thing for me?” he cursed through gritted teeth.
Though I shouldn't have, I pitched in. “Sawyer, you know he has no control over what happens—”
“Don’t.” Sawyer turned his attention to me. “This is your fucking fault, and you know it.” He glowered at me, an expression I hadn't seen from him since we first met. “None of this shit would even be happening if it weren't for you and your rare fucking gemstones.”
My jaw clamped shut and I backed away at his accusation. Why was he taking this out on me? I thought we were friends—maybe even best friends.
He stepped towards me again, removing the space I just gave myself.
Sebastian threw his arm between us, using it to push Sawyer away from me. “This is not on her,” he hissed, backing his friend into the wall.
“Are you that fucking oblivious?” Sawyer argued. “That whole damn battle was because of her! The war that Draemor’s going to start any day now, is because of her.”
I opened my mouth, but then closed it tightly. I didn't know what to say. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. In a way, this was all my fault. The woman he loved was dead. More people would die, and their deaths would be in my name.
“Oh fuck off, Sawyer.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Maeve didn't cause this. You're just trying to find someone to blame.”
Sawyer stood his ground, crossing his arms over his chest as he fought a losing battle with his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me the second you walked into this room?” he demanded an answer. “Better yet, why didn't you tell me the moment you got back?”
“I didn’t even know that you and her were serious. You never told anyone anything!” Sebastian shouted back in defense.
There was some truth to that. Sawyer never told anyone except for me about his feelings towards Jocelyn. Even then he didn’t say much, but I could tell by the way he looked at her that she was more than just a friend to him—or at least he wanted her to be.
Sawyer's face relaxed for a brief second, panning between Sebastian and myself before settling in a scowl. “You’re my best friend…my brother. I shouldn’t have had to,” he spat. Then, his anger took over and he swiped at Sebastian, knocking him in the side of his face.
Sebastian clutched his crimson jaw, slowly panning his furrowed brows back towards Sawyer. He restrained himself from hitting back—
Never mind.
Sebastian decked Sawyer in the nose. I heard bone crack and my eyes widened as a gush of blood dripped onto the rug.
Sawyer growled animalistically. His body shuddered as he harnessed his magic, blasting Sebastian with a heavy stream of water from his fingers.
The pressure of the blast knocked Sebastian backwards, and he hit the ground with a thud.
Sawyer attacked him with power, increasing the intensity of his magic and aiming the stream directly at Sebastian’s face.
Sebastian fought back with his own magic, wielding a frost to freeze Sawyer's water as soon as it came shooting from his hand.
“Stop it, you two!” Pia wailed. Her and I made brief eye contact, and the gleam in her eyes crushed me. Her and Jocelyn had been close.
The water wasn't the only thing turned to ice as Sebastian harnessed his powers. Sawyer’s hand froze as well, resulting in his skin turning stiff and white.
Sebastian jumped to his feet while Sawyer agonized over his hand. He released the hold on his magic as he stomped towards Sawyer, shoving him in the chest when he was close enough to reach.
Sawyer fell back and I heard another crack as he caught himself with his icy wrist. Despite the additional broken bone, Sawyer rose to his feet, pulling his other fist back to throw another punch.
Sebastian raised his arm to block the blow, but before Sawyer could even throw the punch, the whole room was shrouded by darkness as a loud boom of thunder shook us.
Kohen positioned himself between them, his hands raised in the air as he wielded a storm in the middle of the room. Wind swirled around us. Thunder crashed and papers flew as onyx magic quite literally put us in the eye of the storm.
Sebastian and Sawyer dropped their arms, and Kohen released his powers when they no longer looked like they were going to kill each other.
Kohen tended to keep to himself, so I was not expecting him to have much to say, however he surprised me.
“You two are acting like assholes,” he huffed, turning to Sawyer.
“It's no one's fault that Jocelyn is dead, except for the Draemornians.
I'm sorry that she's gone, I truly am. But stop being a dick and blaming everyone else because you're hurting.”
He then turned to Sebastian. “And what's your problem? A girl your friend cared about is dead, and instead of saying your condolences, you're getting defensive about it. I don't know why you did, but you shouldn't have waited to say something.”
Sawyer scoffed. “I know why he waited,” he gestured his neck at me. “He was too busy fucking his problem to say anything.”
My mouth dropped in shock at Sawyer’s claim, and Sebastian lunged for him, knocking him so hard that it took his breath away when he hit the floor. Sawyer gasped from the ground, clutching his chest with his good hand as he scrunched his face up at Sebastian.
“Don't you ever talk about her like that again.” Sebastian spat next to him, then turned his back and stormed out of the room. He gave me a sideways glance as he passed, his face pale and showcasing obvious nausea.