Chapter 12 #2
Glad wasn’t the word I’d have used. But the tethering...
Daigen had mentioned it, and I had felt it. I just didn’t want to accept it yet.
“I cannot imagine the pain His Majesty must have endured waiting for you,” Thràena continued.
“My mother said the longer you go without your fated one, the tethering starts to feel like a star itself is shattering inside you. I cannot imagine living centuries with your heart constantly being ripped apart like that. I’m surprised it did not drive the king mad. ”
Hadn’t it?
Because, from what I’d seen, the Bloodstone King was as mad as the rumours claimed. He ripped people apart with his bare hands, tore throats out with his teeth.
Before I said something reckless, I changed the subject.
“I really hope we can become friends,” I said, smiling at her. “Gods know I need them here.”
She turned excitedly on the sill, letting go of her crystal, to look at me. “Do you not recall, my lady? Soon you will have your very own court! And then all those who swear fealty will become your allies.”
I shook my head at her and leaned back against the window. “I’ve read enough books, heard enough tales, of what goes on in these courts. I might not look Moonstone, but I was raised as one. I’m fully expecting to be targeted here. That’s why I need real friends. Real allies.”
I was surrounded by wolves. I needed to convince some of them to bare their teeth for me, not at me. It was the only way to survive the viciousness that came with court politics.
Thràena hesitated, then said softly, “All my life I’ve wanted to serve my queen.
It was never about the dresses or luxuries.
Since I was a child, I’ve only ever pictured myself at my queen’s side, helping her build a kinder world.
A place where all Bloodstones are treated equally across the realm.
” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “You carry the mark of a queen, my lady, even if you cannot yet see it. I will gladly follow you to the stars.”
I reached for her hand and squeezed it, surprised to find my own eyes moist.
“Call me Narya.”
Again she looked startled, then nodded. “Yes, my la—Narya.”
When I released her hand, she stood and nodded at the bath. “The water will be getting cold. Let me help you undress. You must be exhausted after that journey.”
I was the most exhausted I'd ever been, and the bath sounded wonderful. I didn't need help to get into it.
"I can do—”
I stopped myself. Thràena wanted to do this. She wanted to help and be of service to me. It was clearly important to her. “Thank you.”
While it felt strange giving out orders, having someone undress me felt even stranger.
But I found Thràena’s help more than useful.
The moment I stood, my limbs began shaking again from overexertion.
After spending so long on horseback, my legs felt like they were still lodged apart.
Thràena must have noticed my shaking because she took me by the arm and guided me over to the bath.
Next to the bath, she removed my cloak and boots.
I expected her to say something about my hair colour when she unbraided it, but she didn’t.
She ran my own comb through it and then rested it on the dressing table.
I tensed as she then reached for my dress, but I didn’t pull away like I wanted to when she started to unfasten the buttons. I had to get used to this.
“This is a lovely dress,” she said. “I adore the colours.”
It was just a plain tunic, covered in dirt and sweat from the ride.
I smiled at her. “Thank you. I make all my dresses.”
“You do?” There was genuine surprise in her voice. “My mother used to make her own too. In fact, this one I’m wearing… it’s all I have left of her.”
“It’s lovely,” I said, meaning it.
“Now…” Thràena tugged my dress down my shoulder. “Let’s get you out of this and into the warm water.”
Panic suddenly gripped me, and I pulled back from her.
“No, I can — I can do the rest myself, thank you.”
She stared at me for a moment in surprise, then nodded and moved to grab some of the towels that were warming by the fire. That simple act of kindness—the gift of privacy—meant so much to me. I couldn’t have her or anyone to see what was written on my back.
I removed my ruined clothes quickly and I climbed into the tub.
A contented sigh left me as I sank low into the water.
It was like being wrapped in a warm hug.
One that didn’t make me squirm against him on the back of a horse.
The thought of Daigen drew my attention to the crystal hanging around my neck.
Even in the water, it glowed vibrantly, floating like a fire that could never be extinguished.
Thràena brought the towels over. “Would you like me to assist in bathing you, my lady?”
“No, thank you. And it’s Narya, remember?”
I pulled the crystal over my head and set it on the side of the tub. If it was bad etiquette, Thràena never said. She set the towels onto a small table within my reach.
“Oh, yes. My apologies. Then I shall take my leave for now. My room is in the other wing next to…” Thràena glanced over her shoulder at the door. “I suspect His Majesty will have èllia replaced come morning. I think this would be a good decision. èllia can be quite… challenging at times.”
“Who is éllia, anyway?” I asked, trying not to sound too invested.
I needed to know if she was someone I could trust or should guard myself around. She didn’t strike me as a ladies maid, either. She’d been too finely dressed for that. She also stood apart from all the other Bloodstone ladies.
Thràena’s hand lingered on the towels. “èllia is—was the king’s consort.”
My stomach clenched. That beautiful woman had been Daigen’s consort?
“Of course, èllia no longer holds that position. It’s why she was so upset when His Majesty assigned her to you.
None of us expected him to return with his fated one, least of all éllia.
She’s been his consort for over a decade, but now…
I do not see her remaining here for much longer.
” She skimmed the water to check its temperature, and clicked her tongue.
“It could be warmer. I will have fresh water brought to you, and your dress mended. Please relax while I’m gone. ”
“Thank you, Thràena,” I replied, quietly. As she scooped my clothes into her arms and left, I wasn’t thinking of her. I was thinking of éllia, the woman I’d just replaced. No wonder she didn’t like me. I hadn’t merely been competition.
I'd taken her crown.
Yet I couldn't feel any pity for her.
The thought of Daigen touching another woman… It made me want to scream and claw their eyes out. What was wrong with me?
I pressed my palms to my face with a groan, ashamed of the jealousy twisting through me, and sank lower until the water closed over my eyes.
Combined with all that had happened: becoming a Fateless, nearly being burned alive, not knowing when I’ll see my family again, Petyr’s rejection—it not mattering because I was claimed and looked at in the way Petyr should have looked at me, the inescapable pull toward a man I most certainly should not want.
And now these possessive thoughts that had me contemplating bodily harm on his freshly former lover?
It all came to a head in that moment and crashed through me in the sanctuary of a claw-footed porcelain tub and the luxury of heated water I hadn’t drawn myself.
Then I screamed, long and raw, as if the sound alone could purge the thoughts from my mind. Until a shadow broke through the water, and Daigen dragged me back into the light.