2. Chapter 2
2
I sat in the wash basin until the water cooled completely, chilling my body temperature to send goosebumps up and down my body. A slight knock hit the door, ushering me out of my daze. I stepped out, dripping water on the wood floors, and quickly put on my robe. My feet stung against the cool floor as I walked to the door and unlatched the lock to see Aoife smiling brightly, holding a beautiful icy blue gown.
At least Aoife could soften my dampened heart.
"Good afternoon, dear," she said, sliding past me and setting the dress down on my hard bed, which had covers so thin that they barely kept in warmth. "I don't have much time before I need to help prepare for dinner, but I wanted to see how your evaluation went today?"
I sighed and smiled at her, not wanting the anger to pick up again. "The usual."
Her eyes widened in alarm. "You're bleeding, my lady," Aoife said, pointing to my arm that had turned my robe red. "Darius is going too hard on you," she huffed with as much anger as her kind heart could take. She patted the seat next to my decaying vanity Jesri found for me from an abandoned warehouse and pulled my sleeve up, exposing several other slashes too stubborn to leave, lingering as scars and memories of failure. "Let me patch you up really quick."
She gathered the bandages and ointment, worn with use, and pushed my skin tight, pressing the salve into the cut. Pain zinged up my arm, waking me out of my murky depression. She wrapped the bandage tightly, hiding the rest of my scars and emotions with it. I thanked her as she gathered her things, quickly placing a kiss on my cheek.
"I'll be back soon to help prepare you for dinner tonight," she said, with excitement in her eyes before quickly leaving and clicking the door shut.
As I approached the bed, my fingertips brushed the soft, delicate fabric of the icy blue dress she had meticulously laid out for me. The serenity of the moment was abruptly shattered by a sharp, impatient knock on the door. It swung open before I could react, revealing Calum standing there with a mischievous grin, a glint of mischief dancing in his golden eyes. He was clearly up to something.
A surge of anger coursed through me, and I felt my eyes narrow instinctively at the sight of him. "Get out," I hissed, my voice low and laced with irritation. I pointed firmly at the door, battling to keep my frustration in check—I had no desire to deal with him right now.
But Calum ignored my command, closing the door behind him and leaning casually against its frame. He raised his hands in a mock gesture of surrender, his smile never wavering. "I've been thinking about what you said, and you're right," he began, his voice smooth, as if he hadn't noticed my anger. "You haven't had any fun in a long time. And tomorrow, you turn eighteen," he paused, his smile widening, deepening the dimples in his cheeks. "So, before you retort, let's go have some fun," he stated, his tone dripping with mischievous confidence.
I furrowed my brows, my arms instinctively crossing over my chest as I suddenly became acutely aware of my vulnerability, still dressed only in my robe. "Like Jesri would ever allow that— especially tonight."
Calum's grin didn't falter for a second. "He won't know," he said smoothly, his voice full of reckless assurance. "Jesri's too busy welcoming his highly favored guest, and dinner isn't for another two hours. I promise we'll be back long before anyone even notices we're gone."
I glared at him, hating how tempting his offer sounded. My gaze drifted to the window, where the sky was beginning to take on the rich, deep hues of sunset.
With a resigned sigh, I felt myself caving in before I could find the will to resist. "Fine," I muttered, trying to keep my voice steady. "Wait outside—I need to change."
His grin widened triumphantly, and without another word, he slipped out the door.
"Tyran," I muttered under my breath, incredulous that I was going along with this.
The grimy and filthy town was far more repulsive than I had imagined. The air was heavy and saturated with the stench of lingering bodies and the sickly scent of alcohol. Cal had made it clear that this was not the usual part of town but a place where we could go unnoticed, away from prying eyes that might report back to Jesri.
As the sky darkened, the lingering chill of winter's end still hung in the air, making me grateful for my choice of long sleeves and pants. Cal seemed in high spirits, greeting several drunkards in the dim alleyways who eyed me with inappropriate pleasure. Laughing, he pushed them off before taking my arm and hurrying us into a run-down tavern. The place reeked of sweat and sea salt as if filled with men who had just washed up on shore from long voyages.
Scattered tables cluttered the entrance, leading to a long, wooden bar stained with what looked like blood. I tried to hold my head high amidst the crowd's raucous laughter and mindless drinking.
"What about this is fun, Cal?" I seethed, staying close to his side as more men turned to look at me like a prize.
Cal slung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. "It's fun because you're rebelling," he whispered into my ear, steering me towards the bar where a large, husky man with a thick black beard stood.
I swallowed nervously, glancing down the long table where several women leaned uncomfortably close to sweaty men, holding them tightly. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around myself.
What kind of crowd had Calum dragged me into?
"Two dullers," Calum ordered from the bartender behind the table as we sat down on the rickety chairs. The bartender nodded and turned to fill two small stone cups with a golden liquid.
"Dullers?" I asked, feeling repulsed as I eyed the dirty cup placed in front of me.
"Just drink it, El. Live a little," Calum encouraged, raising his cup in a toast. "To rebellion."
Reluctantly, I picked up the sticky stone cup and lifted it. Calum quickly downed his drink in one gulp, shutting his eyes and hissing before breaking into a grin, waiting for me to follow suit.
I eyed the cup warily, contemplating whether to take a sip. Just as I raised it to my lips, someone knocked my arm, sending the golden liquid splashing all over me.
I yelped in surprise as Calum hissed and cursed at the man responsible.
"Apologies," the man said beside me, his tone making it clear he wasn't.
I placed the cup back on the table, watching his back as he stalked away. Unlike the other large men in the tavern, he was tall and sculpted, with leathers strapped across his back and chest. His dark brown hair barely brushed his shoulders, and he moved with a purposeful stride. Noting he had a peculiar ruby pommel dagger at his side that glimmered in the light.
"Tyran," Calum swore under his breath.
I raised a hand, frustrated that Calum had brought me here. This was not my idea of fun. "Maybe that's our sign to head back," I stated, standing up.
"Come on, El, just one more—"
"Who do we have here?" interrupted a raspy voice. Calum's eyes widened as he quickly stood up beside me.
The voice belonged to a tall, fat man who looked like he had never bathed. Behind him stood three other men, their sun-blotched faces twisted into grimy, yellow smiles.
"No one," Calum replied quickly. "We were just leaving."
"Leaving, hm?" the man cooed, eyeing me with a disturbing delight. "Perhaps I can leave too. What's your name, sweetheart?" he asked, tilting my chin to meet his gaze.
I stepped back, fire raging in my eyes. "Don't. Touch me." I seethed, assessing my options for escape.
"Touch you? No," he said, clicking his tongue. " I won't touch you," the man mused with a sickening grin. "But they will," he gestured to the men behind him.
I slammed my fist into his nose before realizing what I was doing. The sickening crunch of bone echoed in the tavern, and a sharp pain shot through my knuckles. The room fell silent as every pair of eyes snapped to us. The man I struck snarled, his face contorted in rage as blood poured from his nose, dripping onto the muddy floor. His eyes blazed with a venomous fury.
Before I could react, the three filthy men from behind him lunged at me, their grimy hands grabbing me all at once. Calum's shout pierced the air as he threw himself at them, fists flying and striking at their arms and backs in a desperate attempt to free me. But there were too many, and they dragged me outside into the darkening night.
I thrashed and kicked wildly, my foot connecting with one man's face, sending him sprawling to the ground. Another seized my injured arm, and pain shot through me as the wound reopened. My screams mixed with Calum's frantic yells as the tavern door slammed open behind us, revealing the silhouette of the man who had bumped into me earlier.
He was on the four grimy men in seconds, knocking them out with lethal intensity. His movements were swift and precise, and a blur of force left each man crumpled on the ground. He fought with a practiced efficiency, and each strike was calculated to incapacitate them.
Once the last man fell, he turned to me, his features unrecognizable in the darkness. "Are you alright?" he asked, his voice steady despite the chaos that had just transpired, and reached his hand to me.
I nodded, still trying to catch my breath, and reached for his hand. He pulled me up with ease, his grip lingering a moment longer than necessary. "You've got a solid arm," he remarked, his thumb brushing over my bruised knuckles before he abruptly let go. I gave him a curt nod, unsure of what to say, and took a step back.
Heat flushed my cheeks as Calum rushed to my side, causing the man to step back slightly.
"El, I'm so sorry," Calum said, his voice filled with relief, though his expression quickly shifted to concern as he glanced at the man.
"You're bleeding," my rescuer noted, gesturing to my arm. I looked down and saw that my cream shirt's sleeve was soaked with blood. "Take care of yourself."
"We should go," Calum cut in, his voice tense as he glanced nervously around. He gently tugged me away, urging us to leave. The man turned and walked into the dark alleyway, vanishing into the shadows and leaving us to find our way back before Jesri found out.
We returned just as the servants were setting the dining room table.
"This never happened," Calum whispered urgently as we reached the hallway leading to our rooms. I nodded in agreement, eager to forget the entire ordeal, and quietly slipped into our separate rooms.
Inside, I found Aoife waiting for me. Her eyes widened in alarm as she noticed my bloodied arm and her nose wrinkled at the grimy, alcohol-laden scent clinging to me. Without a word, she swiftly helped me out of my top before efficiently patching up my arm again, for which I was silently grateful.
"Thank you," I murmured as she finished, but she was already at my armoire, pulling out my white Spring Harvest dress and laying it beside the icy blue gown she had brought in earlier.
I raised my brows and walked over, gently touching the white dress. "I thought I was supposed to wear this for the Spring Harvest tomorrow?"
Aoife shrugged, her expression softening. "Jesri wanted you in your usual Harvest dress for dinner tonight instead. But this one," she said, holding up the new beautiful icy blue gown. "You'll be wearing for the party tomorrow."
It was a gorgeous gown, but everything came with a price for Jesri.
"May I ask why Jesri insists I wear this one tonight and even went so far as to buy me a new gown?" I asked, eyeing the blue dress with suspicion.
Aoife gave me a knowing look, fully aware that Jesri was trying to impress my so-called mentor with my appearance. The thought made bile rise in my throat, and I immediately wanted to refuse the blue gown. I'd rather be seen in a sack than cater to any man who lets his manhood dictate his actions.
I pursed my lips, fighting the urge to roll my eyes, disgusted by the memory of those grimy hands and leering eyes on me earlier in the tavern. But amid the repulsion, I couldn't help but feel a flicker of gratitude for whoever my rescuer had been.
"I presume that means this man will also be staying for the party?" I asked, glancing down at the glittering gown.
She nodded.
I clenched my teeth, exhaling sharply through my nose as I struggled to keep my anger in check. Jesri would always be the predator, ready to pounce on and exploit any opportunity that promised him wealth or fame.
Just a week after I turned twelve, Jesri put me on display before a crowd of potential elite suitors and handlers, each one evaluating whether I was worthy of being their pupil. He forced me to showcase my abilities in swordplay, marksmanship, combat, and etiquette. The experience was deeply humiliating, driving me into the woods in tears until I had no more to shed.
Yet, to Jesri's furious disappointment, every handler rejected me, citing my youth and naivety as reasons I was not fit for their plans.
This rejection ignited a fury in Jesri until he became terrifying and relentless. He threw himself wholly into my training with a newfound intensity, his demands for perfection growing harsher each day.
His promise to present me to another suitor when the time was right did little to ease the torment I endured. And any mistake or failure in my performance was met with brutal punishment, which carved a painful map of scars across my body—each one a reminder of his unyielding control. But the pain wasn't just physical; it was an assault on my soul, on who I needed to be. He pulled the strings and forced me into absolute obedience, enforcing his will and extinguishing any trace of my anger or selfish desires with the dreams he took that faded away with my short childhood.
And year after grueling year, I grew numb to the things I once enjoyed and became even more naive than I was during my initial evaluation. Jesri's harshness never wavered; he pushed me to the brink of collapse or unconsciousness from lack of food and strength, claiming it was good for my soul, and banned me from any outings outside the estate, insisting that I would sully Cal's reputation.
Jesri always had an excuse to make my life a torment. His endless evaluations were designed not just to test my limits but purely for his pleasure to see me struggle and obey. He continued this relentless regimen until he got what he wanted. Now, six years later, his promise still looms over me, and I have a sickening sense that tonight, he might finally achieve his goal.
The thought of demonstrating my skills before the man we are to dine with tonight made my stomach churn. This man was another pawn in Jesri's scheme, someone Jesri intended to use to fulfill his own desires. I flared my nostrils, shoving the unsettling thoughts aside as I tried to ground myself in the present.
Aoife helped me into my buttery white dress, which hugged me in all the right places. The skirt was inked with bright rose, lilac, and gold threads, woven to appear like tiny flowers at the hem. The sleeves puffed out ever so slightly with a tight bodice and a lower-than-normal neckline, tempting any suitor's eyes to linger longer than usual—one of Jesri's demands.
She sat me down in front of the vanity, spraying a clean-smelling perfume that drowned out the grime, and started weaving my long, dark, auburn hair into a low bun. She placed white flower buds throughout that brightened my gray-blue eyes. She powdered my lips with a hint of pink, helping my tan skin settle evenly around my freckled nose and keeping the dark hunger circles at bay. I glanced at her through the faded mirror, tilting my chin to the side to see her handiwork, hiding my scars with her touch.
"I'll never know how you make me appear beautiful," I said, pushing away some stranded pieces of hair too stubborn to stay in place.
She squeezed my shoulders, "Your beauty has always been there, darling."
My stomach rumbled with anticipation as the rich aroma of roasted meat drifted up the staircase, making my mouth water.
I will eat well tonight!
As I turned the corner and descended towards the source of the mouthwatering scent, I found Calum slumped in an armchair, absorbed in a book. He was dressed in his formal attire, but his white shirt was left unbuttoned, revealing a glimpse of his sculpted chest and tempting me to touch him. I quickly dismissed the thought, recognizing it as his ploy to distract me. His warm eyes shifted from his book to meet mine, and he smiled with a bewitching charm.
With a click of his tongue in appraisal, he closed his book and walked over to me, his gaze lingering on my neckline. He acted as if nothing had happened earlier, fully aware that we both needed to maintain this facade if we wanted to avoid severe punishment.
"You're meant to be my escort, not gawk at me like I'm your next meal," I remarked, rolling my eyes, upset that he had taken me there for fun.
"But you get to look at me like dinner?" he purred, flirtatiously. "I saw you gawking," he said, pulling me to his side. I clenched my jaw, willing myself not to linger on his touch. We walked down the hall to the dining room, our heels clicking against the marble floor as anxiety blared into my soul.
It had been six years since I last talked to a suitor. Six. Why now? Why wait so long?
Calum reached out, ready to open the door. "Best behave tonight, El," he said with a scowl, flaring his hand across my eyes, acting like a Magic and looking at me knowingly. "Or else all this training will have been for nothing."
I dramatically rolled my eyes and forced my face into a graceful smile, fluttering my lashes at him. "Perhaps this is where I actually get real fun," I mocked.
He shook his head, narrowing his eyes. "That was fun before you messed it all up," he grumbled before bringing my hand to his soft lips. "Now show this mentor what you're made of," he whispered, giving me a wink before pushing the doors open.
Warm golden light flooded our view of the polished dining room. The long mahogany table stretched out with delicate white and purple flowers on each end. The freshly cleaned and shimmering crystal chandelier made the candlelight dance along the walls. The glassware that was set out was our finest china, with flecks of gold speckled throughout and used only to impress.
Jesri's dark eyes met mine. Behave, he said.
Praying he didn't know we had just snuck out before the most important dinner of his life.
Jesri rose from his seat, accompanied by a strikingly handsome man who, surprisingly, was much younger than I expected. His eyes were a vibrant seafoam green, and they locked onto mine with an intensity that made my cheeks flush. I swallowed my anxiety and lifted my chin, trying to maintain composure.
Jesri was dressed in his dark, regal suit with navy accents, and his dark hair slicked back meticulously. Jesri and Calum exuded a captivating elegance that made heads turn, drawing admiration from both men and women alike. Their commanding presence and ambition for status were evident in the way people were drawn to their influence, mostly because of the pride they got from it.
"Sir Calum Archenon, my nephew," Jesri said, breaking the silence and gesturing toward us as Calum guided me to our assigned seats. Calum inclined his head respectfully toward the man.
"And the lovely Lady Eliah Sabene," Jesri continued, his tone deliberately dramatic, ensuring the man's gaze traveled over me just as Calum's had earlier. "My orphaned ward."
I halted abruptly, my heels squeaking against the tile.
What?! The shock and anger surged through me, igniting a fierce rage in my veins.
Jesri shot me a sharp glare, signaling me to keep my composure. I curled my lip in defiance, noting that the handsome man's jaw tightened as he looked at Jesri.
"But I assure you," Jesri said, turning his gaze back to the man. "She is as much a daughter to me as Calum is like a son."
Like he has ever sought the title of father.
We sat at the table, and I struggled to control my anger. Calum gently squeezed my hand in rhythmic pulses, trying to divert my frustration.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," the man said, his demeanor returning to calm as he lifted his wine glass. His skin was a warm hazelnut, and he had short ebony hair, looking to be around Calum's age. His suit clung tightly to his sculpted arms and legs as if any sudden movement might burst the buttons. I noticed the rough, scarred texture of his hands, hinting at a rough history.
But it was his eyes that were truly captivating: a deep emerald blue that seemed to pull me in like the ocean current and beckoned me to keep staring until I drowned in them. He smiled, his gaze briefly drifting lower to my neckline before he quickly averted his eyes.
I narrowed my gaze and forced a faint smile. He returned my look with a smirk and took another sip of his wine. I turned away, subtly guiding the direction of our silent exchange.
Calum noticed the interaction and placed his hand on my knee underneath the table, gently squeezing.
"Introducing Sir Levon Alder," Jesri said with a smirk, knowing he had won his approval with my presence. "A previous regime within the King's Court."
Calum and I nodded in welcome as the footman quickly came out with dinner, swirling the air with flavor. My stomach grumbled as a plate was placed before me with roasted pork smothered in a heavenly gravy, accented with buttered asparagus, and fluffy potatoes that melted in the mouth. My taste buds danced with each bite, relishing the savor of such rich food. It took all my efforts not to dance in my chair, almost devouring the entirety of the food, until Calum squeezed my knee again, reminding me to act like a lady. I gave him a quick glare before slowing my pace.
I glanced up at Jesri, whose raging eyes made my food leaden. Sir Alder noticed the growing anger and helped change the density of the room, clearing his throat.
"My lady, I've heard you're quite skilled in battle," the man said with a curious smile.
I swallowed hard. "I've never been in battle," I replied, glancing towards Jesri. "But I do know how to handle myself."
"Oh, she can do more than handle herself," Calum interjected, taking a sip of his wine. "She's taken down plenty of men. And as much as I hate to admit it—" he paused, giving me a pointed look before taking another sip, "—she's managed to make me bleed and bruise more times than I'd care to count." His words drew a chuckle from Sir Alder, making my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
"It's true," Jesri added, nodding in agreement. "Just this morning, I saw her take Calum down with a swift swipe to his legs." He conveniently left out any mention of my failures, focusing instead on the more flattering details.
Calum poked my thigh under the table, and I quickly swatted his hand away. I was reminded of the only time I let him in on an evaluation, only for him to pounce and tickle me so relentlessly that I ended up wetting myself. Jesri had punished me severely for ruining his clothes. Calum was a master at finding my weak spots, using them to make me rebel as he did tonight, and he never missed an opportunity to remind me of those moments, often blackmailing me into sneaking out to our tree.
He poked me again, prompting me to retaliate with a sharp kick to his shin. He choked on his food, causing Jesri to glare at us with a growing irritation. I turned my attention back to my meal, focusing on savoring each flavorful bite while trying to ignore the escalating tension.
Sir Alder suppressed a grin. "You seem well-prepared for battle, at least enough to protect yourself."
"She's skilled with a bow, daggers, and in combat," Calum added with a grin. "She's also improving with the sword, though she still manages to cut herself quite often." I gave his leg a sharp tap under the table; I know he was just pushing my buttons. Sir Alder noticed and shifted his brilliant gaze to mine, ensuring he had my full attention.
"It seems there's a wolf hidden behind this lady's enchanting exterior," Sir Alder remarked, glancing at Jesri. "She will do well, indeed." My eyes narrowed at Jesri, and I started to speak, but Sir Alder interrupted. "Of course, I'll need to see her skills in action before making any final decisions."
Jesri nodded in agreement.
I cleared my throat. "Sir Alder, would you do me an honor and enlighten me on what I would do well in?" I grinned, hoping he might shed some light on Jesri's motives beyond mere wealth or fame.
Jesri shot me a disapproving look. "You heard him, Eliah. Before anything is decided, he needs to see you in action," Jesri said, cutting me off. "You already know enough." He waved his hand dismissively, effectively halting Sir Alder's response. I tightened my grip on my fork, struggling to keep my frustration in check.
"Please, call me Levon," he said, taking a sip of his wine while keeping his gaze fixed on me. "And I can assure you, my lady, that it will be something thrilling."
He caught on to Jesri's quiet implication, and I, begrudgingly, let it go. They couldn't keep me in the dark for long, and if it excited Jesri just by talking about it, it had to be something great—or horrifying.
We continued with our meal, engaging in light conversation and learning more about Levon's background and childhood. Jesri took the opportunity to mention that Levon was also an orphan and how well he had turned out, clearly aiming to comfort me with this comparison. It did nothing to comfort the pain I continued to carry, knowing deep down that those hopes and dreams of my parents return were fictitious and that they were no better than Jesri himself.
At last, dessert came out, and I pushed past the feeling of fullness and floated into ecstasy with each bite of the blackberry cream tart. Calum also savored each bite, knowing that these desserts were few and far between.
"Tell me, Levon . How did you and Jesri come to be acquainted?" I asked as I finished off my last piece, my stomach beyond bloated.
"We happened to meet at a tavern a few years ago," Levon began. "I was just a lad working for some…gentlemen who frequented that place. I was to be their guiding light when they needed the help home."
"A tavern?" Calum echoed, clearly surprised, and shot me a warning look. I returned his glance before focusing on my plate. "I didn't realize you ever went out drinking, especially not to a tavern."
Jesri had always considered himself above such lowly establishments and was known for his aversion to mingling with those of lower status.
Jesri smiled and patted Levon on the back. "There was a time I needed a guiding light myself," he said, glancing at Levon. "And it seems I found one." The two men shared a knowing laugh, exchanging an unspoken understanding that made my stomach churn.
"What exactly was this guiding light you were looking for?" I asked abruptly, knowing it would provoke Jesri.
It did, and he gave me a look of irritation but continued. "For you, Eliah."
His sudden comment sank unusually deep, and I wasn't sure how to answer. I wished I hadn't devoured my dessert as I aimlessly forked at the crumbs. I nodded as a sudden strike of frustration leaped from me, begging me to leave and escape the eyes of these men and the plans they refused to tell me—plans about my life. I suppressed a grunt of frustration. Calum noticed my state and stood, clearing his throat.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, Sir Alder. I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to experience Lady Eliah's charm in the coming days." He reached for my hand, and I eagerly accepted.
"I look forward to seeing you in training, my lady," Levon said, standing quickly after I stood myself. Jesri sat still, not caring to notice my leave.
I nodded and let Calum take me away, holding my head high as I pressed the demanding anger down. We reached the staircase, but Calum led me outside into the gardens instead, knowing I needed air—knowing exactly what I needed and when I needed it. It only infuriated me more.
The sky had deepened into a velvety purple, with flecks of light blue and orange still lingering on the far horizon. We walked in silence until a sudden chill swept through the garden, catching us both by surprise. Calum pulled me closer, and I allowed myself to lean into his warmth, the familiar scent of musk and citrus surrounding me, with a hint of alcohol masked beneath.
"Cal, what does Jesri have planned for me?" I asked quietly, not letting my mind wander into such fantasies.
He shrugged. "I know as much as you do, El," he sighed, pulling me a little closer. I let him, realizing I might be leaving in a few days and wondering if I would miss him.
When Cal first attended court, he attracted many suitable ladies, leaving some with ruined reputations. He stopped acknowledging me altogether, abandoning me to his vicious uncle and Darius's men as he snuck in one woman after another. Rumors spread, tarnishing his and Jesri's reputation, and turning life into a dangerous game of walking on broken glass.
Only then did Cal remember my existence after Jesri punished him less severely than my easier punishments. And with that, Cal reeled me back in like a fish that had never seen the ocean, begging and flirting as we once did as children—creating a facade that was never real.
My skin shivered at his warm embrace, and I abruptly pulled away, knowing what this facade was. I gritted my teeth as anger and frustration ignited like a swarm of bees. The familiar metallic taste bit at the back of my tongue, sending an irritating itch down my spine.
"Tyran, El! Calm down," Calum hissed, cutting through the silence. "You'll be great at whatever you do because you are great at whatever you do. Just…control yourself and this anger . It will be your downfall if you don't learn to regulate it."
I laughed heartily.
If I could control this random anger, I would have. It was the one thing I still hadn't mastered, and it was much more complex than yielding a bow or throwing a knife. It sprouted itself when I least wanted it, pulling at every tether of my heart and mind like an unforgiving force. It was a never-ceasing presence becoming an annoying friend who never left.
"I will miss you, Eliah," Calum said softer, grasping my hand. I instinctively shook his hand off. His face contorted into confusion. " I will, El. No matter what you think of me, I will miss the company of you. And I…" his voice trailed off.
My heart stumbled, wanting to know what he truly thought.
"No," I spat out quickly, looking into his golden eyes. "I don't believe you will."
I pivoted and walked away, leaving him in whatever confusion he was feeling. I was furious at him for pushing me to rebel and dragging me to that disgusting tavern, and even more so for how easily I fell back under his charm. But I wouldn't let myself fall into his traps again. I wouldn't open my heart to him, only to have it be broken like my parents did.
I had promised myself long ago that I wouldn't let anyone in, especially him. He would forget me soon enough, and life would go on as it always did—with me wherever Jesri saw fit.