10. Chapter 10
10
T he healer who checked my wounds assured me I'd be fully recovered by the week's end and removed the bandage from my head. Surprisingly, no blood transfer was necessary, and he marveled at how quickly I was up and moving, thanking my training for the agility. After he left, Aoife continued to scold me for building a fire in the room, which dirtied everything within. Since Jesri cut off the chimney, Aoife opened more windows to dissipate the smoke before Jesri found out, but it only seemed to circulate the sooty air more. Ignoring her protests, I quickly changed out of my dress and into my training attire, eager to clear my head.
"What are you doing?" Aoife asked, pulling at my training sleeves. "No, Eliah. You shouldn't train!" she protested, trying to stop me. I ignored her completely, shoving my feet into my boots and tying up the laces. "Eliah!" she huffed with a motherly displeasure. "Please, you need to rest!"
I pushed her out of the way, already feeling remorse for my actions—but I didn't care enough to stay. All I wanted to do was punch something, and if Darius hadn't put up a new bag, I'd find him instead.
I left the door open, racing down the back stairs, ignoring the ache in my leg with each pounding step. As I reached the bottom, the scent of musk from the sweat and rigor of Darius' men's earlier training sessions hit me. The training room lay empty, with the punching bag still absent from its usual spot. Frustration surged within me, and I couldn't contain my anger. I shouted out, the sound reverberating through the open space. I refused to suppress the fury; instead, I allowed it to consume me. Grasping a sword, I felt the coolness of the hilt in my hand as I struck out against the thick wooden beam, already scarred by numerous blade marks.
I slashed and charged, letting my anger guide me through the dance despite the rising pain and stiffness in my collarbone and leg. Frustration crackled off onto the blade with each forceful swing, urging me to play with it. The air around me turned metallic, prickling my arms with tiny bumps.
I cried out in frustration once more, slicing the beam again before I fell onto my knees, letting the sword rattle as it hit the stone. I clenched my hair, hyperventilating at the resounding grip of agony and despair that pierced a hole into my chest, my heart, and every fiber of my soul.
I sank to the ground, cradling my knees as tears streamed down my already sooty face. It felt like I was plummeting into that dark abyss of my dream, its inky blackness pulling me ever deeper into its grasp, with barely a faint glimmer of hope to cling to.
I brought this upon myself. I allowed myself to become too deeply immersed in emotions I couldn't manage, in dreams that would never be granted. No matter how hard I tried to pull or cut at the strings, I was still a puppet to them.
Calum's words echoed in my mind. How could I emerge victorious when all this was merely Jesri's cunning method to indirectly extinguish me, only to gain sympathy and admiration for himself while I suffered? It was all a facade—every aspect of it. Everything was orchestrated for Jesri's welfare, from the relentless training sessions to the senseless evaluations. It made me sick.
A brown, ruddy boot nudged my foot, signaling Darius's silent observation of my breakdown. Unmoved, I stayed curled up, indifferent to my undoubtedly wretched appearance—my face smudged with soot, scattered with minor scratches, and a prominent gash promising a lasting scar.
"Sulking on the ground like a child, hm?" Darius said, breaking the last tether of hope I clung to.
Gritting my teeth, I allowed the surge of anger to cut through me, but in my regret, I lashed out, inadvertently adding to the pain in my aching leg. Without thought, I swept my feet out, causing Darius to tumble to the ground, only to find me on top of him, ready to smash his head in. His quick reflexes intercepted my fist, yanking me back to the floor.
" Eliah —"
His voice was interrupted as I kicked back, knocking the wind out of him, and stumbled towards the daggers. With practiced ease, I flipped one through my hands. Anger surged through me like oxygen, igniting fierce flames within my blood and clouding my mind in a haze of fury.
He rose to his feet. "Fine. You want to dance?" he threatened, flicking his fingers toward me before settling into a defensive stance.
Enveloped in rage, I charged at him, propelling myself over his shoulder and twisted in his grasp as I tightly entwined my legs around his neck. Pain erupted in my leg, surging up into my hip as I threw my body back, pulling him down with me. We slammed into the floor in a chaotic tangle of limbs and rage, gasping for air to re-enter our lungs.
I tightened my grip on the dagger. He rose to his feet first, quickly seizing both my wrists and forcing me to stay on the ground. I kneed him in the groin, and he loosened his grip with a gasp of pain. Seizing the opportunity, I jammed my shoulder into his chest, shoving him off. I got to my feet and threw myself onto him, pinning him down.
" Eliah, " he rasped again, this time with a pang of sadness that my heart wouldn't let in—couldn't let in.
I flipped the dagger into my other hand, ready to slice through skin when he took hold of my leg, digging into my already tender thigh. I cried out, losing grip on the dagger that clattered to the ground. He got up, swiftly dragging me by my feet. I tried to get out and grab ahold of anything to prevent him from pulling me further.
"Eliah! Enough of this!" he spat as I twisted my body towards him with enough force to kick my strong leg free, smacking him in the face. He stepped back, blood dripping from his already crooked nose, and held up a hand.
My breathing heaved as I sat still. My eyes glazed, forcing the claws of my anger to calm and instead sent silent tears lining my eyes. Instant regret threaded through me like a roaring river, pulling me underneath. I moaned out in a whimper and sank to the ground.
He wiped the blood from his nose and smoothed back his black hair before returning to me. Despite my efforts, tears threatened to spill as he knelt down and enveloped me in his firm, comforting arms.
"Eliah," he whispered, calming my racing heart and unleashing the watergates. "Don't cause yourself more pain before your journey even starts."
I sat immobile, trapped beneath his embrace, and sobbed. Emotions overflowed, engulfing me until all I could do was inhale his familiar scent and allow him to cradle me like the father I longed for—the father who never left me in Jesri's grasp.
"Eliah, let this anger be the force to make you stronger. Don't let it control you," he whispered quietly and quickly between gasps of breath. "Whatever this Match will be, it will push you beyond what you have previously done. Let Sir Alder teach you. Let him be your guide so you can finally be free to be who you want to be. Trust him, Eliah," he stopped, holding back his emotions.
He let go, forcing me to look at him as he held onto my arms. "I tried Eliah. I tried to testify for you, but Jesri has his ways. Don't let him win . Be your own person and win this damned Match." His eyes blazed with compassion, evoking memories of my childhood, of him simply being there, supporting me, nurturing my strength, and even sneaking me candies. "You are capable of extraordinary things, my girl."
He held me a little longer as I let the raw emotions simmer off, feeling the dwindling fire deep within me burn to a sizzle. He helped me to my feet as I embraced him again, this time holding him tight around his neck.
"Thank you, Darius."
Thank you for being the father I always longed for. For never letting me go. For being there when I needed it.
I swiftly let go and walked away, not wanting to meet his eyes again before more tears would crumble me whole.