17. Chapter 17
17
A s three weeks slipped by, I found myself suffocating under the weight of compliance, each day pushing me closer to the brink. Levon was consumed with preparations for the Match and the impending dinner with the king, an event that filled me with more dread than the tournament itself.
And to my dismay, Kaizen had become an ever-present figure, infiltrating every aspect of my daily routine. The mere thought of working alongside him, especially when we had to clean together in the kitchens, filled me with repulsion. I held no desire to spend more time in his company beyond our demanding training sessions, which had escalated to levels far beyond anything I had experienced under Darius's watch.
Each morning unfolded with a relentless routine. Starting with a rigorous run alongside Levon, followed by an hour of breathing exercises, controlling my thoughts and emotions. After Levon departed for his other duties, my training continued with Kaizen, focusing on weaponry and defense. Both mentors pushed me to the brink of exhaustion, testing my limits until my body protested against the relentless strain.
Training with Kaizen delved deep into the core of combat, dissecting every aspect of a fighter's demeanor. From stance to gaze, breath to anticipation, we left no element unexplored in our pursuit of mastery. Frustrated by my lack of prior knowledge in close combat besides what Darius had taught me, I yearned for the guidance of books. However, Kaizen remained adamant that true wisdom came not from pages but from experience. His mysterious past only added to my intrigue, leaving me with more questions than answers about his origins and connection to Levon. With each elusive response, my resentment simmered, mingling with an insatiable curiosity that refused to be quenched.
Amidst the rigorous training regimen, Levon insisted on etiquette lessons, a task more taxing than the soreness in my muscles. I had assumed I possessed a decent understanding of etiquette, but each session unveiled the gaps in my knowledge, humbling me and fueling my determination to improve.
After enduring Kaizen's grueling workouts, I was promptly ushered to the ballroom, where Elise patiently guided me through the intricacies of posture, conversation, and social grace—where she learned them from Levon himself.
Levon, on the other hand, assumed the task of honing my dance skills, but not before insisting that I cleanse myself and don a gown suitable for the occasion. Thus, I kept them waiting, relishing in a luxurious soak in the opulent clawfoot tub, scrubbing away the grime and sweat that Kaizen had mercilessly extracted from me.
As the steam enveloped me in a cocoon of warmth, a gentle knock echoed at my door, interrupting my steamy indulgence.
"Eliah, please tell me you are not soaking in the tub," Levon pleaded through the door.
With a chuckle, I swiftly arose from the tub, dripping water onto the plush rug. I wrapped up in my robe and slid the bath door open, exposing Levon leaning against my bed frame. "Of course you were," he remarked dryly.
I flashed him a grin, releasing my braided hair from the confines of my robe. "You don't want me to appear clean and ladylike?" I teased sarcastically.
Levon chuckled, strolling over to my armoire. Witnessing him so relaxed since Kaizen's arrival had become a rare sight. I yearned for these fleeting moments when he let his guard down, reminiscent of our initial encounter or his visit after my last evaluation. That felt like ages ago.
"Today we are doing footwork, so you will be wearing these and full dining attire," he announced, holding up a pair of evening slippers with a low heel and extracting a corset, stockings, and a lavender dress that shimmered against the light.
I couldn't help but scoff. "You're serious?"
He grinned mischievously, placing the items on my bed. "Remember, you are a lady. Not some trained assassin rolling in mud. It would be nice to see you in something other than your training attire," he remarked with a hint of playfulness in his tone. "I'll get Elise to help you." He started for the door, readying to close it, before I called out to him.
He paused, his intense gaze fixed on me, and I felt the words choke in my throat. He flashed me a knowing smile before quietly shutting the door behind him. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and collapsed onto my bed.
Our dynamic had taken a strange turn. In our private moments or when we danced, the world around us faded away, leaving just the two of us. Yet, as soon as reality intruded, those feelings evaporated, and we resumed our cautious dance, skirting the edge of a deeper connection.
It bothered me that he kept secrets and only stayed in the shallows. So, I stopped asking, not wanting the tension to return between us.
A soft knock interrupted the silence, and Elise entered with a warm smile. Her hair was partially pulled back, revealing glimpses of the long scar running down her face, a reminder of her past struggles. I couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy for her pain.
Sensing my eyes on her scar, she reassured me with a hint of irritation, "Don't fret about me, Eliah. I'm quite capable, you know."
"I'm sorry, I—"
"No need to apologize," Elise interrupted gently, her hand squeezing my shoulders reassuringly. "Truly. I've come to terms with the fact that this is who I am."
I returned her smile, genuinely pleased for her yet feeling a twinge of envy. "What happened? If that's alright with me asking."
She began lacing the corset, pulling tight enough to deflate my lungs. "I was raised in an impoverished home. My parents struggled to keep us alive, and my mother…" she paused, her voice heavy with sadness. "She did what she had to in order to put food on the table. My father passed away before I really got to know him."
With each word, her hands moved precisely, expertly lacing up the corset. "I was ten years old then and was out with my brothers, desperate to find something to eat—anything to keep hunger at bay. I thought I was fast enough, so I stole food from a cart." Her voice wavered as she recalled the painful memory. "I only remember hearing the crack of a whip and then searing pain as my eye swelled shut. My brother managed to get me home, but we couldn't afford a healer. So it scarred, creating a remembrance to always be honest."
She smiled timidly as she finished helping me into my dress. "Elise, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I…" My mind raced through the endless grief I had given myself for my own parents leaving. Yet I was fed, cared for, and given a bed to sleep in. My heart ached with guilt for my selfishness.
"Please, don't pity me. I am changed because of it. I've heard of your life, Eliah, and I am grateful for the life I've lived instead of what you have gone through."
Her words touched a part of me that I tried to keep disconnected from myself—something I didn't want to face yet. So I nodded and embraced her, hoping I might be as strong as her one day.
We strolled arm in arm into the ballroom, its opulence reminiscent of the dining area. Crystal chandeliers cast starry reflections against the dark walls and gleaming wood floors. Levon sat on a bench by the unlit fireplace, engrossed in a book, looking regal in his dark attire, and smiled, hearing the click of our shoes on the polished floors.
Aveal, the footman Elise had once blushed over, stood nearby with a few others. His face lit up as Elise entered, and she returned the smile with newfound confidence. She squeezed my hand before confidently striding toward him. I couldn't help but wonder what had shifted to bolster her self-assurance.
"You look lovely," Levon complimented, bowing and taking my hand. I glanced around to see several other lady's maids and footmen conversing, wondering why they were there too. Levon must have caught my apprehension. "Don't worry. No one will be watching you; they are too enthralled with their partners."
"You should have told me that everyone was waiting for me," I mumbled, hoping they hadn't been waiting too long. Levon only laughed and led me to the center as others followed suit. Delicate tones and beats from the pianoforte began to play, sending a rhythm of music echoing throughout the room.
"Breathe. You show your fear as much as you do your anger," Levon said, pulling me into him. "Just follow suit as if we were dancing at the Spring Harvest."
"That was different. I didn't have the king's eyes on me."
"But you'll have mine," he smiled.
My toes curled as his fingers intertwined with mine, and we swayed to the sound. Others followed, parting and swirling as if this dance was taught in childhood. I stumbled a few times on my feet, not remembering when I had worn heels. I counted the beats in my head, trying to remember the next move and parting to the twirl and partner exchange.
"Just let the music take you," Levon whispered against my ear as we nestled back close from a twirl. "Let go of the worry of making mistakes and simply be." His hand tightened around my waist, pulling me closer and sending a wave of brimming flames up my back.
He let go, taking hold of one of the lady's maids beside him, as I did with a footman. Levon's eyes never left mine as we parted and rejoined.
"Good," he said, taking my waist and hand. "Much better."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes before I tripped over his foot, forgetting the pattern. He caught me and flashed a wicked grin.
"Perhaps I spoke too soon," he teased as the music stopped and applause filled the room.
We danced several more rounds to different tunes, each seeming so effortless for everyone else. I didn't enjoy the feeling of appearing incapable in front of most of his staff, and I noted to tell him not to do that again.
After the last dance, cheers and laughter echoed throughout the room, and I couldn't suppress my laughter. Levon thanked everyone before fetching me a drink and, upon returning, sank beside me on the sturdy seat.
"Thank you," I said, taking a drink of water. "Where did you learn to dance like that?"
His eyes turned somber. "My mother," he replied. He looked at me, warning me not to press further, though he knew fully I would, and continued. "She was known for her art in dance and danced with me nightly. It became our little tradition before she moved on to the next world."
"I'm so sorry," I offered sympathetically, as memories of our first dinner together flooded back, along with Jesri's pointed reminder that Levon, too, was an orphan. "She must have really loved you to put up with your snobbery," I teased, hoping to lighten the mood.
He responded with a lazy smile and nodded. "She was a wonder."
I smiled. "How long ago did she pass?"
"A very long time ago. I was still young myself. She died from…a rare condition with no cure. It started with convulsions, leading to memory failure until she never woke up one day."
My heart sank as I recalled how terrified Levon had been during my first episode of convulsions after arriving here. I didn't understand why he had bothered to call a healer then, but it all made sense now.
Reaching out, I touched his arm, and he responded with a gentle squeeze. "I'm truly sorry, Levon. I can't even begin to imagine losing someone like that."
He shrugged, his muscles flexing under his tunic as he stood, gently pulling me up. "It was a long time ago, Eliah. I can barely remember her touch."
We walked out to the main hall and stepped out into the warm sun, the days were hotter now, dawning the start of summer.
"Still, I think it would be much harder to lose someone than not knowing them at all."
"That's not true," he interjected unusually quickly. "Your pain is as much a loss as mine. It still hurts."
I took a shallow breath, feeling the corset constricting against my ribs and making deep breaths impossible. I struggled to comprehend everything—myself in this absurd gown, escorted by a handsome man. Shaking my head, I tried to dampen the overwhelming emotions.
"Have you learned anything more about what the Match might entail?" I asked, trying to distract myself, no longer caring to maintain my facade.
Levon sighed, his expression troubled. "Not yet. Edmon's been preoccupied with the courting parties, but he should have more information by the week's end."
I nodded, battling the rising tide of fear. "And what about dinner with the king? How many contestants are there?"
He must have sensed my growing fear, for he squeezed my hand tighter, pulling me closer. Despite the sun's relentless heat on our backs, I found comfort in his warmth beside me.
"It'll be like any other dinner party Jesri threw, except I'll be there. And there are eight contestants, one from every region."
"Eight?" I muttered, struggling to draw in a breath against the corset. "I overheard that it's nearly impossible for anyone to secure a spot in these. How in Tyran did you and Jesri manage to get me in?"
He drew a breath. "I used to work for King Thealor, Eliah—"
"Work for?" I interrupted, unbelieving. "What do you mean you worked for ? You said you worked with people who went to taverns? Not the king."
He chuckled, his laughter echoing through the open air. "I worked among his Royal Army, alongside drunkards who did frequently visit taverns."
Seeing the silent plea in my eyes for more details, he relented. "I was young when I enlisted in the Royal Army. It was a demanding environment, but it provided unparalleled access to information. I worked my way up, eventually handling private assignments from the king himself." His gaze turned distant as if haunted by memories. "As I've said before, I've done things I'll forever regret and will always carry the scars," he added, flexing his fingers.
"But how did you get out?"
"After completing numerous personal assignments for the king, he grew…agreeable, granting me the freedom to choose my own path. And so I chose this, freedom from his regiment. I wanted to help rather than take, and I yearned for my mother to be proud of her son. And so, this," he gestured towards the surrounding trees and estate, "was my parting gift from King Thealor."
My jaw fell open, stunned into silence. It all clicked into place. Why else would Jesri befriend a man like Levon unless he had influence with the actual king? No wonder Levon's estate was fit for a king himself, adorned with rooms of pure gold. How else could a mere Sir have so many connections within the Kingdom?
Levon's laughter broke through my thoughts, and he took my hand. "I wanted to tell you from the start, but I knew it would sour the relationship we were forming, especially after you spoke so highly of Jesri," he teased. "I could never find the right moment, and I sincerely apologize for not being completely honest—"
"Then why?" His eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "Why do it? Why put me in?" I asked.
He let go of my hand as his face turned dark. I suddenly wished I hadn't asked the question, unsure if I truly wanted an answer.
He heaved in a breath. "Because…after all I did, all the horrible things that I've done, and after hearing your story from Jesri, the only way I saw a sliver of freedom for you…was this."
My heart sank and burned passionately, raging with bubbling anger that pricked my tongue with copper. "How long?" I hissed out, struggling to force the anger down. Every inch of me that wanted his warmth was long gone. " How long were you working with Jesri?"
He took a step back, sensing my growing rage. "A while," he said, cutting his thoughts short.
My mind raced back to those first days when Jesri turned more malicious after my failed acceptances of suitors and handlers. He forced me to train with Darius until I bled on the stone floors, until I vomited from exhaustion day and night, until I was beaten and bruised.
I was still so young and na?ve, even before I had my first bleed. The parties Jesri threw started to become toxic, with people looking at me with even more hesitation, ladies snickering, and calling me hurtful names, which Jesri made sure I knew.
I sucked in a breath, trying to register everything, trying to calm the tumult of emotions.
Soon after the decline of suitors, Jesri had returned home from a longer-than-usual business endeavor, unusually happy. He even treated Calum and me to a feast fit for the kings, with every pastry imaginable hinting at celebrating something that would go down in history. Only then did he make my training harder and became more demanding, saying he would only show me to another suitor once I was ready.
It couldn't have been because of Levon. Could it?
The sensation of flames licked at my fingertips, amplifying every sound until it felt like the world was closing in on me. I clawed at my corset, desperate for relief, desperate to breathe.
It was all his fault. Every bit of it. He was the one who drove Jesri to madness, provoking him with unrealistic ambitions for a mere child. If he hadn't made that deal, perhaps I'd be living a more normal life with a guardian who didn't push me to the brink or force me to do unspeakable tasks.
Levon reached for my hand, compelling my searing gaze to meet his. The intensity of my surroundings surged as I felt the blood rush to and from Levon's palm up into his beating heart. Heard the birds soaring to our right, the insects chattering and buzzing beneath our feet.
" Eliah, look at me. "
My heart stuttered, roaring to be able to breathe. The sun pressed down on me, blinding me with thoughts of reddening darkness with its long, spidery legs to take me whole and pull me down, down, down.
"Eliah!"
I couldn't stop my fingers from burning, feeling like it seared my flesh right off. The metallic twang rushed up my nose, stabbing right into my brain, sending the raging flames within me bursting out.
All I could do was scream and scream and scream before those long, spidery fingers dragged me down, cutting off my air supply and leaving me in a heap on the ground.