25. Chapter 25
25
I woke to the gentle rhythm of Levon's chest moving beneath me, his arms still wrapped around me, warding off the chill of the night. I rubbed my tear-stained cheeks, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle over me as I shifted against the stiffness in my limbs. Levon shifted as I sat up in the darkness, wondering how long I had been asleep. A faint yellow light filtered in from under the hall door, casting a soft glow over my surroundings.
I slipped off the bed, the cool stone floor grounding me as I navigated the darkness towards the privy. After securing the door and swiftly attending to my needs, I emerged to find Kaizen standing mere inches from the door. His hand shot out, muffling any startled sound that threatened to escape my lips. His eyes blazed with an intensity that seemed to pierce the dimly lit room. After releasing me, he gestured for me to follow silently. He disappeared into his small room, waiting for me to enter before closing the door, plunging us into a cloak of impenetrable darkness.
A slash crackled as a flame materialized, illuminating the room as Kaizen set down the oil lamp, casting eerie shadows over his features. His leathers, cloak, and tunic lay discarded on a chair, revealing a muscled chest adorned with several scars, each a testament to a past battle. One scar, jagged and deep, led down to his left hip, disappearing into his pants.
I quickly shifted my eyes up and around the room as he grabbed his tunic, sliding it back on and closing the distance between us. His features blazed with worry, an unfamiliar expression in those usually harsh eyes.
"Eliah," Kaizen said urgently, his eyes intense. "There's more at stake here than this rutting tournament, so listen carefully or risk succumbing to the darkness and losing more than your chance at freedom."
I stared at him, wide-eyed and unsure how to react.
"Levon will hate me for telling you all this, but you need to know," he sighed, rubbing the stubble on his face with worry before pulling me away from the door as if afraid Levon might overhear. "With the neural pathways established, the Spellcasters are able to use their twisted abilities to manipulate minds," he continued. "They can tear apart and connect to pathways within your mind, turning you into a puppet. They're able to do this through the very fabricator of the universe called the Ethereal—magic, if you will."
I inhaled sharply, my mind flashing back to earlier, feeling so hollow and buried deep within myself. "I thought," I paused. "I thought I was going crazy," I muttered, recalling Kaizen's amber eyes darkening under my chokehold.
"They exploit your weaknesses. Show you everything you despise about yourself and rummage through your memories like a drug," Kaizen said, his gaze steady. "Only a conflict of pain can disrupt their control," he said urgently. "So, when you feel it happening again— and it will —you must let it happen to, first, understand it . Focus on what it feels like, how it moves within your mind, and how it scrapes through your thoughts. For when it happens again, you'll be able to fully grasp it and channel your anger towards it to crush its head." He looked over me as fear entered my heart.
"So, I need you to clear your mind," he whispered. "They can take a step into these connecting pathways through your fear, so command your fear to dissipate. It can have no place in you. Remember the breathing techniques Levon has taught you: You control your emotions. You control what you feel."
I took a sharp breath, trying to make sense of all this, and feeling rather odd that Kaizen was helping me rather than beating me down.
He glared at me, his eyes practically glowing in the dark, as I quickly nodded, steadying my heartbeat and convincing myself that I wasn't afraid.
"Do you feel any tangible fear?" Kaizen asked, his gaze piercing as if he could read my thoughts.
"I…don't think so—"
"Are you afraid?" he pressed, his tone urgent. "I need you to guard yourself and fight back. Even if you are afraid, you must fight back—"
" I am afraid ," I admitted with a hiss, lifting my chin with determination. "You are hearing yourself, aren't you? All of this is absolutely insane!" I hissed, my anger spiking.
Kaizen's eyes narrowed as he realized how close we were and took a step back. Fear and anger intertwined deep within me, feeling consumed by a battle of lies and secrets that had been hidden from me for far too long. The inside of my core burned with a determination to prove him wrong, to prove the fear wrong.
"Control it, Eliah," he snapped back. "Because that will be all you have left."
I racked my brain, replaying Kaizen's short but critical commands repeatedly. A sick feeling gnawed at me as I clasped my hand around my throat, the phantom shadow of the figure's grip lingering with each breath of cool air slicing through my lungs. I ran up and down the long corridor, the inn's single hallway stretching for miles. Door after door, I kept running, unable to sleep, unable to let myself feel or think too much about what had transpired.
When you feel it happening again—and it will—you must let it happen.
The maggot, the pressure. It was real and ready to brand me into submission, waiting for me to fail and to fear.
I pushed harder, letting the weight of my body ache against the pull of my legs with each thrust and bounce.
Control it, Eliah, because that will be all you have left, his words echoed in my mind.
Inhale, exhale.
The ache in my mind begged for more distraction while my lungs and legs begged me to stop. I hit the main foyer, gulping down air as the cool mountain stone licked my face with each breath. A few drunkards were slumped in scattered chairs, twitching in their sleep.
I turned and began walking back to the room, inhaling deeply to let the sharpness of the air dispel my thoughts. My heart slowed to its normal rhythm, faster than before, and I stood with a newfound confidence to take control of my life how I saw fit.
Finding our door, I pushed it open just as Levon swung it open from the other side.
His eyes went wide, and his clothes were in disarray. " Tell me when you feel like taking a run for the night when things are—" he started, then stopped abruptly, shaking his head. "You don't know how terrified I was waking up, and you were gone."
I wanted to retort with bitterness, knowing he'd be even more terrified when I began the tournament, but I held my tongue, feeling the desperate need for sleep weigh heavily on my body.
"I couldn't sleep."
He rubbed his face, fatigue evident in his eyes. "Get some because you won't have much of it soon," he said, retreating into Kaizen's room, firmly shutting the door behind him. I clenched my jaw and reached the privy to wash up.
Splashing my face with cold water, I scrubbed away the traces of fear and exhaustion as best I could with the standing washbasin. Hastily changing into a fresh set of clothes, I placed Kaizen's dagger within easy reach, and I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes, but sleep eluded me; my mind too noisy with anxious thoughts.
"Why did they show me that memory?" I grunted into the pillow, frustration seeping through my voice. I forced myself to still, battling restlessness as I focused on each breath. Counting seconds, I urged my mind to stay disciplined, wishing I had taken Levon's breathing training more seriously, especially if Kaizen said my life depended on it. But before I could continue my count, sleep overtook my body.
A soft tickle traced down my arm, and I jolted awake. My dagger was instantly in hand as Levon backed away, his hands raised in surrender.
"You must stop startling me," I groaned, replacing the dagger on the bedside table and flopping back onto the bed.
"How else was I supposed to wake you?" he mused, adjusting his tunic with a smile playing on his lips. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.
"Well, you must refrain from it when I'm asleep," I rasped, my tone sharper than intended.
He chuckled softly. "We should leave as soon as possible to arrive by sundown tonight. I let you sleep as long as I could." His hand reached for mine, but I hesitated, causing him to withdraw his hand and take a deep breath. "I'll meet you at the entrance. I need to see Jucam's mother before we leave. Kaizen's preparing the carriage and will meet you."
With that, he exited the room, taking out the last trunk of our things. I rose from the bed, gathering my hair into a braid, slipped on my shoes, and exited the room, ensuring the dagger was securely tucked into my boot.
Kaizen was eating at a table by the hearth in the main foyer. I approached him, scanning the room to note the absence of the previous night's drunkards, replaced by new faces.
He caught my eye and nodded towards Jucam, who was bustling behind his table. "He has food ready for you. Hurry and eat. We should have left an hour ago," Kaizen snapped as if our conversation last night had never happened.
I sighed, rolling my eyes as I approached Jucam, who quickly spotted me and greeted me with a bushy smile. "Morning, milady. Let me get you your food."
Returning his smile, I thanked him sincerely. "Your cooking is excellent."
Embarrassment tinted his pale cheeks. "The pleasure is all mine to give," he replied with genuine gratitude. He handed me a plate laden with fried meat and eggs, with a creamy vegetable sauce simmering over the whole of it.
I nodded my thanks and walked back toward Kaizen, who was now standing with his empty plate. He brushed past me, "Stay put until I come back."
I shot him a glare in response and settled into my seat, not bothering with the pretense of eating like a lady. Instead, I dug into the breakfast with eagerness. By the time Kaizen returned, I had finished my meal and watched as he laughed with Jucam. It was a rare sight to see him look genuinely happy.
He caught my eye, and his laughter and smile dwindled. He redirected his attention to Jucam and resumed their conversation as I collected my empty platter and walked over to them, returning it to Jucam and expressing gratitude for the delicious meal. Jucam smiled warmly, but Kaizen's expression returned to its usual seriousness.
Kaizen motioned for me to follow as we headed through the large stone doorway into the open fields, where I prayed a Breva wasn't lurking. The sun was now bright against the soaring Gap, dispersing the fog and leaving no place to hide except for the endless fields to the south. The carriage was loaded, and the horses stood ready for the last leg of our journey.
"Do you still have that dagger on you?" Kaizen questioned, pulling his leathers tighter, about to hand me another one.
"Is that even a question?" I rebuked, watching him unsheathe another slightly longer dagger with a small ruby pommel, the gem looking as mysterious as those from the lady back in the market. Its handle was interwoven with threads of golden vines that wrapped around to the steel, which was jagged and gleamed with a peculiar silver.
I lost my voice, remembering this very dagger—the same one wielded by the man who saved me from those men at the tavern where Calum had taken me for fun . Realization struck as I shot my eyes back up to Kaizen, taking in his stature, his hair, and his hand. Memories of that night flooded back—how his thumb had gently rubbed over my knuckles, the way he took out all those men with lethal grace. He was…worried, so unlike his brooding self now.
I knitted my brows together. "It was you," I muttered, looking back down at the dagger and then up at him, struggling to believe it myself. He cocked his head to the side, puzzled. "You were the one who saved me from those men at the tavern."
He maintained his usual stony expression, only blinking before shoving the dagger and its sheath into my hands. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, opening the carriage door and forcing me inside. I didn't resist as confusion clouded my mind.
Why was he there? That wasn't a coincidence.
I continued to examine the dagger, its tip so sharp that it drew a small trickle of blood from my finger as I pricked myself. I set the dagger in my lap and clutched my hand.
Just then, the door swung open, revealing Levon's bright smile and snapping me back to the present.
"Ready?" Levon's voice broke through the tension, and I swallowed hard, offering him a nod, not believing I was. "I'll be up top until after the Gap," he informed me before closing the door and sealing me inside the carriage.
With a jolt, we set off, the wheels rolling along the towering gray wall until we found the Gap's opening where the fog lingered, swirling around the wheels as we ventured in. The carriage grew colder as the day faded into a watery light, eventually succumbing to a murky darkness. The echo of the wheels on gravel reverberated off the walls, creating a deafening hum. In the distance, the end of the Gap appeared as a mere sliver of light, teasingly close yet seemingly unreachable.
I watched intently out of both windows, feeling as if oily, dark eyes were watching our every move, counting each second and every breath. My heart thudded loudly inside my head, drowning out the hum of the wheels as fear tightened its grip on my heart.
Control it.
Inhale.
I gripped the radiant dagger, running my fingers over the pommel repeatedly when a spike of anger scorched my insides with a sudden intensity as I thought back to Kaizen's broad back, bumping the disgusting liquid Calum got me onto my back. To his stealthy silhouette slamming into those grimy men like a moth attracted to light.
Why was Kaizen there?
I gritted my teeth with anger when a piercing screech suddenly tore through the echoing thrum of our carriage's wheels, bringing us to a staggering halt. Kaizen and Levon muttered something that echoed off the Gap's walls as I tightened my grip on the dagger.
"Eliah."
I whipped my head towards the other door, exhaling a jagged breath. The carriage lurched forward faster than before, and Levon's voice shouted from above, accompanied by banging against the roof. Kaizen hissed something too faint for me to hear over the ruckus of the carriage against the echoing Gap.
The carriage surged ahead again, throwing me back into the seat as another screech pierced the air close to my left. I braced for impact, clutching the dagger tightly as arrows whizzed past, followed by a roaring shriek that froze my soul. I pressed my hands to my ears, trying to drown out the cacophony as the carriage tossed me around, hurling forward faster. The thunderous beat of hooves against the wall drowned out all other sounds, blurring my surroundings into a chaotic blur and leaving me feeling helpless. Kaizen and Levon's voices were lost in the chaos as more screams echoed behind us.
"Eliah." The voice hissed again, dreadful and menacing.
"NO!" I shouted as a clawed paw, black as death, struck the side of the carriage, sending the carriage careening to the side before hitting back down. Another arrow whizzed by, finding its mark with a scream.
I pressed my face against the window, witnessing the black creature crumple with an arrow embedded in its eye. A Miehja.
"Faster!" Levon's voice pierced through the chaos, accompanied by the sharp crack of reins against the front mast. The fog began to disperse as several arrows flew past, their watery light casting eerie reflections from the Gap's end. "We're almost there."
The vibrations from the wheels rattled my body as we propelled forward in eerie silence, broken only by the clamor of the carriage wheels. The light dispelled the oily, dark feeling as swiftly as it had come.
A patting sound came from the roof. "We're safe," Levon gasped out, his voice tinged with lingering fear. "We're here."
The carriage gradually slowed as we reached the Gap's end, basking in the bright light. I released a long breath, still clutching the dagger as I leaned closer to the window, trying to get a glimpse at the court Jesri never stopped talking about, and hoping another black paw wouldn't appear.
Navy and gold flags billowed in the soft wind as several guards clad in the same color formed a protective barrier at the entrance, standing stoic with large shields and swords strapped to their hips. A few held extended poles blocking the long billowing road northward toward the city, which was breathtaking.
Towering, glimmering buildings sparkled in the sun's rays, casting a rainbow of hues across the rolling, clipped-to-perfection landscape. The sky seemed to mirror the vibrant scene below, swirling with clouds that danced in response. I could see the castle far in the distance, looming like a pointed mountain.
The carriage halted, and I felt it sway as Levon emerged into view, clapping some men on the back with a wide grin, continuing to converse.
Two guards approached the carriage, one casting me an unsettling grin that sickened my stomach, remembering the men at the tavern. Remembering Kaizen being my rescuer once again.
I swiftly averted my gaze, feeling exposed and praying they would let us pass before whatever animal attacked us in the Gap came stalking, unsure why it hadn't already.
With a creak, the door swung open, and Levon's smile wavered as he settled into the carriage, taking a seat across from me. My eyes implored him for answers, but he simply shook his head, holding the door ajar. "Go up top. A change of scenery might help clear your mind."
I furrowed my brows in question but refused to stay sitting any longer, feeling like a doe headed toward the slaughter. Perhaps I could help up top or do anything other than sit.
I gave him a curt nod and got out, feeling the cool air from the dark Gap nip at my bones, begging me to run to the golden city and the sun's warmth. Anything out of the murky grasp of whatever was lurking in there.
My foot found purchase, and I hoisted myself up. Kaizen's eyes were still turned back to the Gap, even though he started moving forward as soon as I sat down. The guards parted for us, and it took all my effort not to look back, too, fearing that whatever had been chasing us was watching.
"I suppose you won't tell me what happened back there unless I beg?" I said, my voice barely audible over the clatter of wheels on stone.
"Begging would be nice," he taunted with a devilish grin. I narrowed my eyes, unamused, knowing he would tell me.
"Why aren't the Miehja still attacking?" I asked.
"More of them surround the Gap to keep threats out, and they're not attacking because I put an end to it and you controlled it," he stated matter-of-factly.
I sat in shock. "I controlled it ?" I shook my head, "And how am I a threat?"
"Your emotions. Don't you remember anything I told you last night?" He then eyed me up and down with a grin tugging at his lips. "And I'd say you're a threat."
My expression turned sour, feeling rather irritated at his bluntly stated fact, even though I'm grateful he tells me things. "To you, I will be," I challenged and held tight onto the seat's bar. I breathed in, waiting several moments before asking, "I know it was you at the tavern. Why were you there?"
He eyed me again, his jaw flexing. "I should be asking why you were there?" he questioned, through narrow eyes but didn't deny it this time.
"Thank you," I muttered, feeling those disgusting men's hands still on me. Yet still unsure what to think.
He curtly nodded and turned forward, whipping the reins and commanding the horses to move faster.
I turned to the view, embracing the spectacular wonders of the city hidden behind the surrounding mountains that flared with colors.
The large spired castle loomed in the distance. Its cobalt spires sparkled against the bright sun, now beating down on us and warming my bones thoroughly. A sea of homes, buildings, markets, and shelters in all shapes could be seen as we descended into the valley, hearing the hum of chatter, carriages, and animals surrounding us.
I couldn't help but smile at the immense difference between life at Levon's or Jesri's to this. Each structure was unique, a testament to the vibrant life that thrived here.
Kaizen breathed an airy laugh.
"What?" I challenged harshly.
He only shook his head as we rounded a bend to see a market larger than Levon's entire town, stretching far and wide with thousands of goods sold by shouting sellers. A whirl of smells hit me like a wall.
The horses plodded off towards a bend close to the mountain's edge while the tall, spired castle dominated our view, standing tall even in the distance. No wonder it would take us an entire day to get through this mess.
I swallowed, realizing that I would soon face the king—the man Jesri had always idolized and raved about. The man who Levon worked for. The man whose lineage killed off thousands.
I swallowed again, calming my roaring flames, and determined not to obliterate the very court itself. For damning my life with this lofty Match that might bring me to my demise, but also my potential freedom.
We continued for several miles, the rhythmic clatter of the carriage wheels accompanying our thoughts. I gazed at the colorful buildings and bustling crowds, watching the sun arc across the sky until Levon tapped the roof, signaling our stop. Stepping out onto the worn, stony ground, he gestured ahead.
"I'm sure we can all use a moment to stretch our legs. There's a bakery not too far from here," he said, his smile infectious. I glanced at Kaizen, who merely gave a curt nod of agreement and urged me to follow Levon as he waited.
Stretching my legs, I took Levon's hand as he led me through the winding streets. Each one offered sights and smells I had never encountered before, tempting me to indulge in its delights.
We rounded several corners, brushing past a throng of people walking in every direction, and finally stopped in front of a tiny shop lodged between two tall buildings. It looked less like a bakery and more like a forgotten place no one cared for. A sign hung crooked at the door, reading: Tazina's Bakery.
"Jucam is the best cook, but Tazina is the best baker with sweets grand as your imagination," Levon said, pushing open the weathered door, its bell chiming as we entered.
As soon as we stepped inside, the tantalizing aroma of freshly baked cookies enveloped us, tempting me to devour every treat in sight. The space was cozy and inviting, with a rustic wooden table and two chairs tucked to the side. A bright glass display showcased an array of delectable delights, each confection more tempting than the last.
"I'll be right there!" called a voice from behind the closed door at the back. Just then, a hazelnut-skinned woman with vibrant green eyes and intricately beaded hair emerged, balancing two large trays of sweets with practiced ease. Her eyes lit up as she caught sight of Levon.
" Levon! " she exclaimed, quickly setting down the trays and crossing over to embrace him. "It's been ages. How have you been? I've meant to visit, but things have been so hectic here," she chattered while Levon nodded in agreement. After releasing him, she gave his arms a squeeze before turning her attention to me, her gaze warm and welcoming.
"And who might this be?" she inquired with a hum.
"Eliah," I replied before Levon could introduce me. "I'm guessing you're Tazina, with the best sweets around?"
They both smiled at me, and she extended her hand. "What an honor to meet such a strong woman. You'd better be keeping Levon in line—he needs it," she teased, giving me a wink as she returned behind the counter. I couldn't help but smile as Levon smirked in agreement.
"Now, what suits your fancy?" Tazina asked, gesturing to the mouth watering array of treats.
Everything. Everything suits my fancy.
She must have read my mind, for she said, "How about a bit of everything? I've got several fresh batches in the back that need to be eaten today, and I'm sure your friend will want some, too."
With that, she disappeared into the back, the door swinging shut behind her.
"She knows Kaizen?" I whispered.
"She knows I'm always traveling with someone," Levon replied.
"And that someone couldn't have been me?" I remarked, feeling a twinge of irritation. He squeezed my hand and leaned back against the counter, a pearly grin spreading across his face.
"You do ask too many questions," he smirked, reminiscing about our first meeting and my endless barrage of inquiries. I rolled my eyes, and he squeezed my hand again, sending a rush of warmth through my veins.
Tazina emerged with two gray boxes and handed them to Levon. "On the house, just make sure you stop by often. I miss our chats—" Before she could finish, a person walked in, the bell cutting her off. "I'll see you two soon!" She turned toward the man as we walked out with a wave.
"Chats, hm?" I said, opening the box to reveal pastries Calum would have killed for. I took one out, covered in red chocolate and flaked with a drizzle of cream. My tongue sparked with joy at the sweet taste, and I had to restrain myself from grabbing another.
"She came to help in the kitchen several times for one of the many parties King Thealor threw, and I was to be her escort home," Levon explained before biting into a golden crispy bun dusted with powdered sugar.
We continued our walk, devouring most of the pastries and laughing off the fearful impending uncertainties. As we approached the carriage, Kaizen looked devilishly annoyed. He eyed us, instantly taking the box from Levon and finishing the remaining bite-sized pieces. I held back my laugh, knowing how odd it was for Kaizen to act normal rather than his annoying broodiness.
I sat back in the carriage with Levon as we trudged on while the sky faded into a warm orange, welcoming the night with grace. I couldn't stop staring out the windows, pointing and gawking at the sight. How incredible the structures, the people, and the sweets had been. Perhaps the township wasn't as dreadful as I had imagined, solely because of Jesri's relentless obsession. Yet, deep down, I knew that anything associated with Jesri's dreams often led to trouble.