Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
NOAH
“Noah, listen to me.” Jo’s voice came soft, but there was an edge to it as if she was walking the line between patience and pleading. “I know you hurtin’. I know. All of this has been a lot. On all of us. But life is changing, you gotta change with us.”
I gripped the steering wheel tighter, eyes locked on the road as I weaved through traffic I had something to prove. My jaw clenched, heart beating too fast for me to breathe steady.
“You and Stormi changing for a nigga,” I spat. The anger was hot in my chest, and I didn’t care how ugly it came out. “That’s what it is. Y’all forgot where we came from soon as a little money and muscle came around.”
Jo didn’t flinch. She never did, but I saw her shake her head out the corner of my eye.
“Yeah,” she said, calm but firm. “Your sister married now. But don’t act like Stormi never wanted better for us. Before Seth, with Seth, even without him. She wanted more. For you. For herself. For all of us.”
“We could’ve had better!” I snapped. “We didn’t need Seth for that. Stormi didn’t need to get caught up in his war, his enemies, his bullshit! She almost died, Jo!”
My voice cracked on that last word, and I hated the way it sounded. Hated how close the truth sat behind it.
Jo’s hand reached for my thigh, resting there gently. That damn soft voice of hers came back, the one she started using ever since Stormi got shot like she was scared to say the wrong thing, scared I’d break into pieces she couldn’t pick up.
“It just so happened to align that way, baby,” she explained. “Stormi didn’t choose pain. It chose her. She just chose to fight through it.”
I didn’t say anything. Couldn’t. That tight feeling was crawling up my throat again, the one that felt like rage and grief all twisted together.
“Whatever,” I muttered, eyes burning. “I could’ve killed Dre.”
Jo didn’t react right away. She just looked at me for a moment she was trying to see past the anger; past the defense mechanisms and the hoodie I kept pulled low over my eyes.
“Can I read you something?” she asked, voice almost a whisper now.
I didn’t answer. Just side eyed her that look I always gave when I wasn’t tryna hear it but couldn’t outright say no either. I already knew what it was. She’d been carrying that damn letter around for months, tucked in her purse as if it was her lifeline.
She was supposed to read it the day Stormi got shot. I remembered her begging me to come to the therapy session. Tell me how we needed to rebuild our family. And after that she kept holding it like a secret she was scared I’d never let her share. I exhaled slow, my fingers still gripping the wheel.
“Jo... not now.”
“Please.” She didn’t push, just asked.
And something in me cracked. “Go ahead.”
To my baby boy,
Noah, did you know your name meant comfort? I named you something I never had before, because deep down, I knew that’s what you would bring me. My third born but my first child born out of love.”
I swallowed hard. Jo’s voice was cracking already. She took a deep breath before continuing.
Your father and I may not have made the family work but you, baby, you were made from love. We talked and you know why I turned to drugs, why I lived how I lived. It ain’t no excuse, but it was my escape.
She paused. Closed her eyes.
A lot was taken from me early on. And instead of ending the cycle, I repeated it. That’s the lesson I’m learning in this season of my life. I’ve forgiven myself. I just hope one day you can do the same.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she didn’t even wipe them this time. Just kept reading.
No rush. It took me years to get here, so I don’t expect you to do it in minutes or days. Take your time, son. But I want to heal. I want to grow. I get it now what Stormi meant when she said she’s living in her ‘soft girl era.’ That she needs her peace.
She looked at me, her eyes begging me to really hear this next part.
Noah, you’re more than what I raised you to be. Anything you want, you can have it. Your dreams, your goals, your joy they’re all waiting for you. And so am I. This time, I want to show up. Clean and healthy.
My throat tightened. My grip on the wheel loosened just slightly.
You saw too much, baby. For such young eyes you carried too much in that heart of yours. I’m sorry. For the late nights. For the early mornings. For the pain I never meant for you to inherit.
She was weeping now, but her voice didn’t break. She kept going.
I pray we grow together that we grow within each other.
I want to see you happy, baby. Just like your sister.
Mama Jo might not have been the best mom but Grandma Jo…
She’s ready. For a house full of grandkids, laughter, and love.
I promise to heal my kids one wound at a time until we’re living like those Black families you see on TV.
The happy ones. Not the reality show mess but the real ones. I love you, baby boy.
She folded the paper with trembling fingers and handed it to me without a word. Her eyes stayed on mine, full of tears, full of regret, but also full of hope. I reached out and wiped her face as more tears spilled and she let me.
“I love you, Jo,” I said, voice low but fierce. “Ain’t nobody gonna hurt you again. Not ever.”
She blinked, trying to believe me. And maybe for the first time in years, I meant it. I jerked the wheel suddenly, making a sharp U-turn in the middle of the street.
Jo gasped, holding onto the dash. “Noah?”
I didn’t answer. I wasn’t headed home anymore. I wasn’t about to let that letter be the end of it. That man, the first man who broke my mother was still breathing. Still walking around like he ain’t leave scars so deep they shaped the way I walked through the world.
Nah. It wasn’t time to sleep the night away like we ain’t have demons living minutes away in our same city. It was time to face them. For Jo. For me. For every wound we never asked to carry.
“Where you going, Noah?” Jo asked, her voice shaky, eyes bouncing between the road and me.
I didn’t even glance her way.
“I got something to take care of,” I muttered, jaw tight as I pressed my foot harder on the gas.
We were flying cutting through traffic like the world owed me space.
“Noah,” she said louder, fear creeping in now. “Please slow down. You doin’ a hundred. Don’t give these crackers a reason!”
But I couldn’t slow down. Not now. My hands gripped the wheel like I was holding onto something I might lose forever if I let up.
And honestly… Maybe I was. We turned the corner and I cut the headlights before I eased into Leon’s driveway like I’d done seven nights in a row now.
I knew his routine better than his own shadow at this point.
Old bastard moved like he ain’t destroyed lives. Like he ain’t violate a child.
Like Jo wasn’t fourteen when he first touched her.
Stormi and Jo sat me down months ago and told me everything.
Their voices cracked. Their faces stayed dry, but their hands were shaking.
And me, I threw up the whole meal I just ate.
I had smoked every day since, tryna keep my head from exploding.
Blunts back-to-back. Pain numbed just enough to keep me walking.
Just like Jo. We weren’t that different.
That’s why I never judged her, I understood her.
Drugs gave us both something the world couldn’t: an escape. A break from the demons. But tonight, I was sober as hell. Because I couldn’t get to Dre for what he did to Stormi, Seth had that war handled. But Leon. Leon was mine.
“Who house is this?” Jo asked, eyes darting as she finally caught on.
“Leon’s,” I said, voice hollow as I reached for the gun tucked in my waistband.
“No, Noah, no.” Her hand shot out, grabbing my arm trying to pull me back from the edge. “Please. Don’t do this.”
I yanked the door open, stepping out before her words could sink too deep. But of course, she followed and continued to try and talk me out of this.
“Noah, let’s go,” she demanded, voice trembling now but trying to throw some bass in it like old Jo used to. “Now. Don’t be stupid.”
I turned, slowly. Looked her right in the eye.
“Nah,” I said low. “This nigga about to pay.”
I pulled the gun slow, I had been waiting for this moment .
Jo’s face crumbled. Her hand fumbled for her phone like it was her last chance to stop me.
“Stormi,” she whispered into it, backing up. “Your brother lost his mind. We at Leon’s house and he about to do something stupid.”
I didn’t care. She forgot who stayed. Who was there in the trenches when she had nobody. She forgot about all those nights it was just me and her against the world when Stormi had dreams, and Jo had demons, and I had nothing but rage.
This wasn’t about Stormi this was about me and Jo, about her pain and about mine.
I cut through the backyard, moving fast. The glass door at the back of the house gleamed under the moonlight.
Exactly like I left it. I jammed the lock earlier this week.
Prepared for this. I slid the door open slow, slipping inside like a shadow.
Every breath I took felt like fire. Every step forward felt like justice.
And at that moment, I wasn’t afraid. Not of jail, not of death, not of God.
I was my mother’s son and tonight that meant someone had to bleed.
“I’ve been waiting on you, young blood” Leon said the moment I walked in his house.
Us both with our guns drawn at one another. He didn’t flitch but neither did I. This is what I came for. I wanted him dead. He was going to pay for everything.
“Noah,” I heard Jo whisper my name before she made herself visible.
“Jolene,” he sang her name as if it was his favorite tone.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her he was memorized.
“I knew you would come with one of them trailing behind you. I prayed it wasn’t Stormi. She already looked at me as if I was a monster instead of her father. But Jolene, you came.”
“Shut the fuck up talking to he!” I spat at Leon rage in my eyes and my gun pointed directly at him.
“Jolene, you have your kids thinking we didn’t have something special.
Like you weren’t made for me. Like we weren’t supposed to have this perfect life.
Noah you were supposed to be my son. We were supposed to be a family.
” Leon continued to vent, reliving a future he planned out in his head with his girlfriend’s underage daughter.
“Didn’t I say shut the fuck up talking to her!” I yelled, moving closer to Leon.
He hadn’t taken his eyes off Jo since she walked inside. She stood there not frozen, not scared but not giving him the attention he craved or wanted so badly.
“Noah lets go,” she said pulling my arm.
“You’re going to kill me, Noah. You blame me just like your sister. Blame your grandmother. She knew the love Jolene and I shared. She was jealous and wanted me to love her like I loved Jolene. You hear me, Jolene, I love you. That’s never changed.”
“I’ll end you right now,” I yelled walking up to him.
“Jolene, you’re supposed to be mine. Things were supposed to be different. I waited on you and you turned into someone I don’t even recognize.”
“You don’t recognize me because I’m not broken.
You didn’t win even when I was pregnant and alone, strung out on drugs…
you didn’t win. I gave this world back something it took from me.
A happy healthy woman that’s going to do great and continue to fill the world with love joy and her happiness.
No, Noah was never supposed to be yours because I was never yours.
You raped me, Leon. I was a child. That little girl wanted a father and instead you gave her a monster but that’s okay, because you’ll never get to take anything else from me or my children again.
” Jo spoke every word clearly, no tears visible in her eyes.
She was stronger than any woman I ever knew and knowing her story, her pain only made me look at her more.
“Jolene, you don’t mean that shit!” Leon yelled, showing he was the one with the rage now.
I was over him talking but before I could take a step closer and block his view, he let out one bullet, and I emptied the clip in him, but the moment I turned around, there Jo was down on the ground, bleeding out. I ran to her side applying pressure to her chest.
“No, Jo. I got you. Breathe, mama. Let me call for help.”
Then I heard the screaming and crying. Stormi had been on the phone the whole time.