A Kiss of Winter (Awakened #4)

Chapter 1

“Gwendolyn!”

Halfway across the courtyard, I wince and halt in my tracks. I do not hate anything in life except the sound of my given name. Particularly when my grandmother is shouting it across the lower castle courtyard.

“You’re not sneaking out to see that boy again, are you?”

As much as I love her, Nana is unacquainted with the concept of subtlety.

“It’s not sneaking if I’m leaving the house in broad daylight,” I mutter. Lying to myself, not her. If I weren’t sneaking, I’d be wearing my shoes instead of carrying them by the laces. “Nana, it’s Kai’s Ascension Day.”

I hate the way my voice comes out in a whine. I’m sixteen, not six. Almost seventeen.

My grandmother’s skeptical expression speaks volumes.

Everyone else has already gone off to witness Prince Kai’s Ascension ceremony, but the kitchen staff, especially lowly scullery maids like me, are required to stay behind and create a feast for the royal family.

Today is the day he’s promoted to lead the Kings’ Guard, a role for which Kai has trained since he was a boy.

He is my best friend. We first met in this very courtyard ten years ago—albeit three stories up, playing on the gabled rooftops. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

But now that he is fully a man, Kai will be expected to act as an ambassador to other courts across the land, and eventually make a political marriage. With three older brothers, he has no hope of inheriting the throne. Once he departs from Montrace Castle, I might never see him again.

The prospect of losing him has forced me to confront the way my own feelings have changed.

When I look at him now, I don’t see the cheerful companion who spent hours exploring with me inside these castle walls.

Instead, I see a breathtakingly handsome man who causes a fluttery sensation in my stomach.

“I promised I would be there today to celebrate his Ascension. What kind of friend would I be if I failed to show up?” I argue to my grandmother.

She suspects how my feelings for Kai have changed from friendship to romantic, though nothing has actually happened.

If anything, he has been overly chivalrous the deeper he gets into his knight training.

Must uphold the virtues of honor and courtesy.

I wish he wouldn’t be so circumspect with me. Especially when we’re alone, which is almost never, these days.

Nana sets a water bucket upside-down to dry on an old bench and turns to me, softening. “That boy had better show you proper respect, Gwen.”

“He always has.” Unfortunately. “I see no reason for that to change just because he has been appointed Captain of the Royal Guard.”

I don’t want Kai’s respect. I want him to kiss me.

But I cannot tell Nana that. She is protective of my virtue, which remains distressingly pristine.

“You two are too old to be friends,” Nana huffs. “Get on with you. I’ll need you back this afternoon to help with serving the feast. Go and see your prince.”

Ha. If only. Kai isn’t my prince, no matter how much I wish he were.

I’m not stupid. Princes don’t marry commoners, much less a lowly kitchen worker.

Yet I can’t stop praying that he will pluck me from the garden of obscurity and raise me up to his level.

Or, even better, abdicate entirely and make a life with me.

Then he wouldn’t have to do these silly ceremonies all the time. Or train for the guard.

He likes military training, though. That is the one thing that has driven a wedge between us: I admit I’ve been envious of how much time he spends practicing drills. I can’t understand how my sweet friend has developed such an interest in violence.

Permission secured, I scurry the rest of the way across the courtyard as fast as my feet will carry me.

The streets leading up to the palace aren’t empty, but the few latecomers hasten to get inside the castle walls, like me.

I pause to stuff my shoes onto my feet and dart across the drawbridge with the rest of the stragglers.

There I am confronted with a throng of people gathered in the upper bailey. I can’t see anything.

A trumpet blast signals the start of the ceremony. My startled heart thumps against my sternum. I can’t miss Kai’s moment. I clutch my skirts and weave through the crowd, headed for the stairway to the ramparts. I’ll be able to see him from there.

Two steel halberds cross in front of my face, blocking my path.

“Guards only,” one silver-helmed knight grunts.

Drat. I spin, searching for another vantage point.

Every surface is covered by people trying to get a better view.

If I were still a child, I’d elbow my way onto the stack of crates against the wall, too, but I’m grown now, and too dignified for such antics.

I edge my way along the wall, trying to get closer to the action. I wish Nana hadn’t held me back to chop onions. I don’t smell like them, do I? I cup them around my face and huff to make sure I don’t reek of allium.

“Psst.”

Embarrassed, I snatch my hands to my sides.

“Up here.”

One of the guards positioned at the perimeter of the ceremony gestures.

I cast him a grateful smile and duck beneath his arm.

He lets me stand on the stairway behind him.

From this perch I have a clear view of Kai in his gleaming armor, his helmet tucked under his arm and his dark hair moving gently in the breeze.

A shiver courses through me. I rub my arms.

“Who’s that?” someone says from below, in the crowd.

“Prince Kai’s little friend,” someone answers, and I’m jolted to realize they’re talking about me.

I don’t like the loaded way they said friend.

I spot the two men gossiping like a pair of fishwives and glare at them. One smirks. The other studiously ignores me.

Hurt curdles in my gut. I was so excited for this day, but suddenly, it feels tarnished. I try to block the rude speaker out to better hear the king drone on about duty and loyalty to the crown.

Another cold breeze swirls menacingly through the courtyard. I might be imagining it, but the shining sun overhead sharpens into spiky rays that glint off the soldiers’ armor. My eyes water. I dash the moisture away lest those men think they made me cry. I won’t give them the satisfaction.

On the dais, Kai bends one knee. His brothers stand in a semi-circle flanking their father, the king.

Three men between him and the throne. He is a prince who will never rule, and he is content with that, or so he says.

Kingship is a burden. Never knowing whether one can trust friends, advisors, or anyone, really.

Kai claims not to want it, and I believe him.

I want him not to desire the throne. A king could never marry a scullery maid, but there might be a chance for us if he isn’t needed for a political alliance. I’ll wait for him until he finishes his duty. I would wait for him forever if only I knew he felt the same way about me as I do him.

His father places the flat edge of a sword against each shoulder, then on his head, and bids Kai to rise.

He does, fluidly despite the prison of protective metal he wears, and turns to solemnly stare out at the crowd.

Abandoning any semblance of dignity, I wave vigorously.

Seeing me, a wide grin breaks over his sharp features.

I would give anything to see him smile like that every day. It’s the one he saves just for me, his best friend.

My joy dims fractionally. I like being friends with Kai. He’s shared everything with me. His lessons. His secrets. But now, I want more.

A loud cheer startles me out of my reverie.

Kai winks and breaks eye contact. Pushing past the guards watching the stairway—bless them for recognizing me from lurking around the training arena and giving me a good spot—I weave and elbow my way through the crowd to get to Kai.

He steps down from the dais, beaming, followed by his family.

People drop to their knees as the royal family passes. I don’t.

I stand there, grinning like a fool.

“Show some respect.” Someone yanks my skirt. The queen’s frosty gaze slides over me, and I drop into a deep curtsey. I forget to bend my head, though, and therefore catch the way her mouth tips up at the corners.

The king, too, appears amused. They know me, or at least of me.

The royal family is close-knit, which I have always envied, having no family of my own other than Nana.

They have reigned capably, too. No wars have riven the kingdom of Montrace, the land of endless summer, in a generation.

Our kingdom is peaceful and prosperous with allies to the West, South, and East.

I don’t worry about Kai riding out in a display of toughness. His older brothers did the same thing in their time. Only the Northern Territories, where the fae races have been driven into isolation, hold any threat to us.

Legend has it that a powerful fae witch once possessed a mirror that reflected only the ugly parts of one’s soul, and none of the good.

A troll king stole the mirror and used it to create chaos across the continent.

War broke out. Many lives were lost, and the troll king ruled amidst the chaos from sea to sea.

His rule was short-lived, however. The greedy troll tried to take the mirror to the witch, with the intention of using it to make her his pawn.

On his journey to her domain, his minions slipped on her lake of ice and dropped the mirror, shattering it.

The queen summoned a vicious winter storm full of tiny ice knives that sliced the trolls to death as they tried to run away from the destruction they had wrought.

The shards of the mirror were swept away in the wind.

I give myself a little shake. Why am I remembering this fable now?

Sunlight shafts through the clouds and falls across Kai’s tall, broad-shouldered form.

He’s filled out since he started his military training.

Although he’s only eighteen, a little more than a year older than me, his physique is almost as muscular as his brothers’, each of whom draws the admiring glances of every woman in the crowd.

The spell breaks when the soldiers break into an unruly banging of swords and halberds on shields and armor, a deafening clang accompanied by raucous cheering. Kai’s tall form is swallowed by his brethren. I missed most of the ceremony while cutting onions, but at least I caught the end.

I stand there rooted to the spot, delirious joy leaching from my body and wishing he would acknowledge me with more than a single smile. I’m only here to cheer him on like everyone else. But he is my friend.

My only friend.

Kai turns to me and beckons. Squirmy glee lights up my insides as I rush to him. He loops one arm over my shoulders. I am conscious of hundreds of eyes upon us as we stride into the upper bailey where a sea of tables has been set for a feast.

Nana won’t be happy, and this will only contribute to the rumors about me, but I am overjoyed to be singled out for Kai’s attention. I should go back to help with the food, but I can’t bring myself to leave him quite yet.