A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
“I might if I had a castle. If truth be told, I prefer a good inn. Castles cost too much to maintain. No, the service I would require of you is that you face me in a few more tourneys. Twenty should suffice. You can do that, surely? You shall have a tenth part of my winnings, and in future I promise to strike that broad chest of yours and not your head.”
“You’d have me travel about with you to be unhorsed?”
Ser Uthor chuckled pleasantly. “You are such a strapping specimen, no one will ever believe that some round-shouldered old man with a snail on his shield could put you down.” He rubbed his chin.
“You need a new device yourself, by the way. That hanged man is grim enough, I grant you, but…well, he’s hanging, isn’t he?
Dead and defeated. Something fiercer is required.
A bear’s head, mayhaps. A skull. Or three skulls, better still.
A babe impaled upon a spear. And you should let your hair grow long and cultivate a beard, the wilder and more unkempt the better.
There are more of these little tourneys than you know.
With the odds I’d get we’d win enough to buy a dragon’s egg before—”
“—it got about that I was hopeless? I lost my armor, not my honor. You’ll have Thunder and my arms, no more.”
“Pride ill becomes a beggar, ser. You could do much worse than ride with me. At the least I could teach you a thing or two of jousting, about which you are pig ignorant at present.”
“You’d make a fool of me.”
“I did that earlier. And even fools must eat.”
Dunk wanted to smash that smile off his face. “I see why you have a snail on your shield. You are no true knight.”
“Spoken like a true oaf. Are you so blind you cannot see your danger?” Ser Uthor put his cup aside.
“Do you know why I struck you where I did, ser?” He got to his feet, and touched Dunk lightly in the center of his chest. “A coronal placed here would have put you on the ground just as quickly. The head is a smaller target, the blow is more difficult to land…though more likely to be mortal. I was paid to strike you there.”
“Paid?” Dunk backed away from him. “What do you mean?”
“Six dragons tendered in advance, four more promised when you died. A paltry sum for a knight’s life. Be thankful for that. Had more been offered, I might have put the point of my lance through your eyeslit.”
Dunk felt dizzy again. Why would someone pay to have me killed? I’ve done no harm to any man at Whitewalls. Surely no one hated him that much but Egg’s brother Aerion, and the Bright Prince was in exile across the narrow sea. “Who paid you?”
“A serving man brought the gold at sunrise, not long after the master of the games nailed up the pairings. His face was hooded, and he did not speak his master’s name.”
“But why?” said Dunk.
“I did not ask.” Ser Uthor filled his cup again. “I think you have more enemies than you know, Ser Duncan. How not? There are some who would say you were the cause of all our woes.”
Dunk felt a cold hand on his heart. “Say what you mean.”
The Snail shrugged. “I may not have been at Ashford Meadow, but jousting is my bread and salt. I follow tourneys from afar as faithfully as the maesters follow stars. I know how a certain hedge knight became the cause of a trial of seven at Ashford Meadow, resulting in the death of Baelor Breakspear at his brother Maekar’s hand.
” Ser Uthor seated himself, and stretched his legs out.
“Prince Baelor was well loved. The Bright Prince had friends as well, friends who will not have forgotten the cause of his exile. Think on my offer, ser. The snail may leave a trail of slime behind him, but a little slime will do a man no harm…while if you dance with dragons, you must expect to burn.”
The day seemed darker when Dunk stepped from the Snail’s tent. The clouds in the east had grown bigger and blacker, and the sun was sinking to the west, casting long shadows across the yard. Dunk found the squire Will inspecting Thunder’s feet.
“Where’s Egg?” he asked of him.
“The bald boy? How would I know? Run off somewhere.”
He could not bear to say farewell to Thunder, Dunk decided.
He’ll be back at the tent with his books.
He wasn’t, though. The books were there, bundled neatly in a stack beside Egg’s bedroll, but of the boy there was no sign.
Something was wrong here. Dunk could feel it.
It was not like Egg to wander off without his leave.
A pair of grizzled men-at-arms were drinking barley beer outside a striped pavilion a few feet away. “…well, bugger that, once was enough for me,” one muttered. “The grass was green when the sun come up, aye…” He broke off when the other man gave him a nudge, and only then took note of Dunk. “Ser?”
“Have you seen my squire? Egg, he’s called.”
The man scratched at the grey stubble underneath one ear. “I remember him. Less hair than me, and a mouth three times his size. Some o’ the other lads shoved him about a bit, but that was last night. I’ve not seen him since, ser.”
“Scared him off,” said his companion.
Dunk gave that one a hard look. “If he comes back, tell him to wait for me here.”
“Aye, ser. That we will.”
Might be he just went to watch the jousts. Dunk headed back toward the tilting grounds. As he passed the stables he came on Ser Glendon Ball, brushing down a pretty sorrel charger. “Have you seen Egg?” he asked him.
“He ran past a few moments ago.” Ser Glendon pulled a carrot from his pocket and fed it to the sorrel. “Do you like my new horse? Lord Costayne sent his squire to ransom her, but I told him to save his gold. I mean to keep her for my own.”
“His lordship will not like that.”
“His lordship said that I had no right to put a fireball upon my shield. He told me my device should be a clump of pussywillows. His lordship can go bugger himself.”
Dunk could not help but smile. He had supped at that same table himself, choking down the same bitter dishes as served up by the likes of the Bright Prince and Ser Steffon Fossoway.
He felt a certain kinship with the prickly young knight.
For all I know, my mother was a whore as well. “How many horses have you won?”
Ser Glendon shrugged. “I lost count. Mortimer Boggs still owes me one. He said he’d rather eat his horse than have some whore’s bastard riding her.
And he took a hammer to his armor before sending it to me.
It’s full of holes. I suppose I can still get something for the metal.
” He sounded more sad than angry. “There was a stable by the…the inn where I was raised. I worked there when I was a boy, and when I could I’d sneak the horses off while their owners were busy.
I was always good with horses. Stots, rounseys, palfreys, drays, plowhorses, warhorses, I rode them all.
Even a Dornish sand steed. This old man I knew taught me how to make my own lances.
I thought if I showed them all how good I was, they’d have no choice but to admit I was my father’s son.
But they won’t. Even now. They just won’t. ”
“Some never will,” Dunk told him. “It doesn’t matter what you do.
Others, though…they’re not all the same.
I’ve met some good ones.” He thought a moment.
“When the tourney’s done, Egg and I mean to go north.
Take service at Winterfell and fight for the Starks against the ironmen.
You could come with us.” The north was a world all its own, Ser Arlan always said.
No one up there was like to know the tale of Penny Jenny and the Knight of the Pussywillows.
No one will laugh at you up there. They will know you only by your blade, and judge you by your worth.
Ser Glendon gave him a suspicious look. “Why would I want to do that? Are you telling me I need to run away and hide?”
“No. I just thought…two swords instead of one. The roads are not as safe as they once were.”
“That’s true enough,” the boy said grudgingly, “but my father was once promised a place amongst the Kingsguard. I mean to claim the white cloak that he never got to wear.”
You have as much chance of wearing a white cloak as I do, Dunk almost said.
You were born of a camp follower, and I crawled out of the gutters of Flea Bottom.
Kings do not heap honor on the likes of you and me.
The lad would not have taken kindly to that truth, however.
Instead he said, “Strength to your arm, then.”
He had not gone more than a few feet when Ser Glendon called after him.
“Ser Duncan, wait. I…I should not have been so sharp. A knight must needs be courteous, my mother used to say.” The boy seemed to be struggling for words.
“Lord Peake came to see me after my last joust. He offered me a place at Starpike. He said there was a storm coming the likes of which Westeros had not seen for a generation, that he would need swords and men to wield them. Loyal men, who knew how to obey.”
Dunk could hardly believe it. Gormon Peake had made his scorn for hedge knights plain, both on the road and on the roof, but the offer was a generous one. “Peake is a great lord,” he said, wary, “but…but not a man that I would trust, I think.”
“No.” The boy flushed. “There was a price. He’d take me into his service, he said…but first I would have to prove my loyalty. He would see that I was paired against his friend the Fiddler next, and he wanted me to swear that I would lose.”
Dunk believed him. He should have been shocked, he knew, and yet somehow he wasn’t. “What did you say?”
“I said I might not be able to lose to the Fiddler even if I were trying, that I had already unhorsed much better men than him, that the dragon’s egg would be mine before the day was done.
” Ball smiled feebly. “It was not the answer that he wanted. He called me a fool, then, and told me that I had best watch my back. The Fiddler had many friends, he said, and I had none.”