Chapter Eleven
Paige
Roderic carried me into the bathroom as I tried to collect my scattered wits.
I shouldn’t be allowing this.
I shouldn’t want this.
Any of it.
The sex. The orgasms. The dirty, filthy things he did to me that made my face burn.
Or the sweet way he cradled me as he adjusted the temperature in his ridiculously large bathtub before pouring in deliciously scented bubbles.
What is happening?
I was just a regular, single omega, trying to make ends meet on the outskirts of the city, working a boring day job that left my brain numb at the end of the day. I was older than most unbonded omegas, but otherwise unremarkable.
Roderic…
Roderic was a whirlwind.
Clearly alpha. Clearly strong, and dominant, and sexy, and everything my instincts yearned for.
But also, clearly into something illegal. Clearly not being totally honest with me. And clearly caring in a quietly intense way that left me confused over how to feel about his attention.
The smart thing to do would have been to put as much space between us as possible, as quickly as possible, and forget all of it ever happened.
I had no business being in this suite downtown, locked on his knot for over an hour, as he pumped me so full of his cum I felt bloated and crampy.
I had no business lingering, letting him settle me between his thick thighs and move me around like a doll as he bathed me, his erection rubbing against my lower back like my own personal massager.
But I wasn’t smart.
I never had been.
Instead of following my interests and pursuing technology the way I’d wanted to, I’d followed my mother’s advice and found a job as an assistant.
That was all omegas were good for, according to her.
I wasted my time making too little money doing too many meaningless tasks, until I felt meaningless too.
Even my arrangement with Adam had left me with the same feeling of being unwanted and replaceable.
But something about the way Roderic looked at me was different, and the part of me I’d neglected for years was soaking it up and begging for more. It wanted me to stay as long as the alpha would allow, even though I knew he’d eventually grow tired of me the way everyone else had.
If my father hadn’t loved me enough to stay, how could any man?
I pushed the long-time hurt away and finally pulled myself together as Roderic tipped my head back to rinse my hair.
Considering Adam was the only one I had to compare to, I wasn’t sure if Roderic was just doing what most alphas did, or if he was giving me special attention.
Either way, I’d never felt so pampered, and I almost didn’t want to break the silence that had fallen between us in case I ruined things.
“Thank you.”
I probably looked ridiculous meeting his gaze upside down when he turned his attention away from my hair, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. The past few days could have gone so wrong, but he’d made my cycle a memory I’d cherish when I was forced to spend my future ones alone.
A purr throbbed in the air between us as his lips lifted at the corners.
“It’s an honor to take care of you, Sweetheart. Both during your heat, and after. Any alpha who doesn’t realize that is wrong.”
His expression turned dark, but heat still suffused my cheeks at his words.
My mother had been an omega, and nothing I’d seen of her life made me think Roderic’s view was shared by many others, but it was nice to imagine there were more alphas willing to treat me like a human and not just a hole to use.
He’d saved me from what would have been the worst experience of my life, but that was mostly because I’d kept myself hidden away as much as possible, barely living for fear that I’d end up like my mother.
Broken and alone.
I closed the door on that line of thought. No matter how comfortable Roderic made me feel, I needed to focus and stay in the moment. He had said he would let me leave, but until I was safely out the door, I needed to remain wary.
“Now that you’re clean, let’s get you fed. You can have another of my shirts to wear while we throw your clothes in the wash.”
The reminder that he knew I’d overheard things I shouldn’t have proved I needed to be careful, and I forced a smile as I dipped my head in acknowledgment. I would play the meek omega until I made it off the property and could return home.
It was the smart thing to do.
It was still hard to keep my eyes off his body once he lifted me from the tub and deposited me on the edge to grab towels.
I forced myself to continue allowing him to move me around like a doll as he dried my hair and body.
The squeak that escaped when he gripped my hips and lifted me to the counter was unavoidable, and the little smirk playing on his lips made me think he might be showing off a bit.
And he had every right to.
He’d have caught any woman’s attention in the suit I first saw him in, but naked?
Roderic could bring down a plane from the air.
He was clearly strong, his muscles defined without the sharp edges of some alphas who were so lean they looked like they lived in a gym.
Those males looked like they needed a good meal to put some padding on them, but Roderic was the perfect balance between muscular and still looking like he ate regular food.
And by regular, I meant the crap most of us barely scraping by crammed down. Filling, but not the healthiest.
I envied the golden hue of his skin. There were no tan lines, so it had to be from his heritage, but he was several shades darker than my pale flesh. The contrast was stark when he pressed his thighs against my legs to comb my hair.
“What products do you use?”
The question forced me to drag my gaze up from what rested between my knees, his piercing still fascinating to look at.
It had to have been painful to have that piece of metal inserted in such a sensitive area, and I curled my fingers around the edge of the countertop I sat on to keep from reaching for it.
“Hmm?”
The green orbs shining down at me were laughing even if he managed to keep his smile to a minimum. Roderic was alpha through and through, enjoying my attention, but at least he had the decency not to brag about it the way some did. Nothing ruined a tempting body like a mouth spewing idiotic noise.
“For your hair.”
The way he leaned on the hands he placed beside each of my thighs, invading my space even further, didn’t help keep my thoughts where they should have been. He was close enough I could see little flecks of gold in his green irises, and his firm lips were only a breath away.
“I… I don’t. Use anything.”
My hair was far shorter than what most would consider desirable. Some alphas had made remarks about it being unfeminine, like that should affect my decision to cut it, but having it short made my life easier.
It also made it possible to pass as a boy if needed, and there had been a few times in my life that had saved me. The area I lived in wasn’t the best, and omega or not, sometimes being a female drew unwanted attention. I liked being able to blend in and avoid uncomfortable situations.
“Do you have any sensitivities? Allergies?”
Still staring into those mesmerizing green depths, I shook my head. Biology had designed omegas as the breeders, and while I’d heard of a few who suffered from allergies or other issues, most of us tended to be healthy, with few medical complications. One of the only perks of my designation.
Reaching behind me, Roderic pulled forward a bottle of lotion. He’d left the towel wrapped around me when he dried me off, but he had no hesitation over tugging the edges open to smooth the moisturizer on my flesh.
My core pulsed and a wave of heat rose from my chest to burn in my cheeks. I still felt the ache in my center from being knotted over and over, yet having his hands on me still had need pooling between my thighs.
I was so lost in the sensations of him gently kneading my muscles that I hadn’t realized I let my eyes drift closed, so I didn’t notice how close he was until his lips brushed against the top of my shoulder, where most alphas left their mark.
“If you keep smelling like that I’m going to think you need something besides food to fill you, Sweetheart.”
The deep rumble revealed how close he was to the edge of his control even if I hadn’t caught the scent of his need in the air once I started paying attention.
My walls clenched again, eager to let him stretch me, but I clawed back the instincts he brought forward and managed to keep in mind that this wasn’t smart.
I was supposed to be getting away from him, not under him again.
“Sorry. I really am hungry though.”
My voice was quiet in the space between us, breathy and unbelievable.
My stomach was just about the only silent part of my body, with most of it humming over the alpha’s touch or begging for the thing I shouldn’t want, but thankfully Roderic relented and pulled away, softly closing the towel over my tight nipples as if it hurt him just as much to block them from view.
“Right. Food.”
When he stepped back my eyes naturally fell to his straining erection, the silver of the jewelry stark against his flushed tip. A puddle of precum had collected around the bead, making me lick my lips at the thought of how he’d tasted.
His growl jerked my focus up. That beautiful green had shrunk, his dark pupils expanding. His hands were curled into fists at his sides, and he stared at me like I was the only thing that existed.
It shouldn’t have made me hotter. It should have scared me to have an alpha that focused on me, with that look in his eyes, but my folds only grew wetter.
Swallowing, I squeezed my legs together and forced out one word.
“Food.”
Neither of us was interested in eating, but if we remained in this cycle, I’d never get out of his apartment.
And part of me wanted that, but that part was told to hush.
“Food,” Roderic repeated, sucking in a deep breath before seeming to shake himself out of whatever thoughts had been going through his mind.
Turning abruptly, he stomped through the doorway into his bedroom.
I sagged without the strength of his attention holding me up, weariness creeping in at the edges.
My core still throbbed with want, but the intensity eased, and my stomach finally decided to wake up and join the rest of my body in announcing what it needed.
Eat, and then leave.
Forget Roderic and any silly thoughts about staying with the alpha.
That was what I had to do.