Chapter Thirteen
Paige
Roderic stared at me with an intensity that was unnerving.
He had hesitated when he brought our plates to the table, stopping so suddenly I almost ran into his back.
I barely kept from spilling the glasses, but by the time I’d steadied them and wasn’t afraid the juice was going to end up on the floor, he’d placed the food where we’d have to sit side by side.
I wanted to be grateful. I’d seen enough alphas feeding their mates to know it was something they enjoyed doing. It was even something that had been discussed in school when I was forced to take a course on designations.
Instead, it hurt.
My omega side felt rejected, but I told that part it was stupid. I didn’t need to be fed. He’d bathed me, dried me, smothered me in lotion, gave me his shirt while he washed my clothes, made me a meal…
What did it matter that he didn’t want to feed it to me? I was an independent woman, and he was respecting that.
I still felt petulant as I raised the first bite to my lips, fully prepared to dislike it, but pretend otherwise. An alpha like him, who clearly had money to spare, wasn’t likely to be a good cook.
I couldn’t stop my brows from jerking up when I bit into the chicken, the flavorful juice flooding my mouth. He hadn’t seemed to do much to it before throwing it in the pan, but it was easily better than anything I’d cooked myself.
“Wow.”
His brow quirked and his lips twitched. As compelling as his mouth was, my stomach roared to life, reminding me I hadn’t had real food in days. Alpha seed might have been able to provide enough to keep me going through my cycle, but my body needed more after all the energy I’d expended.
“Wow, you’re surprised it’s edible?”
I tried to keep from laughing at the accurate assessment and had to raise my hand to cover my mouth since I’d crammed a larger bite into it. My eyes watered as I struggled to chew and swallow through the urge to chuckle.
“I’m surprised it’s so delicious. Chicken and salad are usually pretty bland. At least when I make it.”
I added a little shrug to hide the sting even though I was the one mocking myself. I’d been told enough times that I was a failure at being an omega, my lack of cooking skills being one of the many disappointments.
“You’re probably just hungry, Sweetheart.”
Roderic brushed off the compliment, finally taking a bite of his own food. He still watched me as I ate, but the intensity eased, and the little puddle of hurt finally evaporated when he drained the glass of juice I’d poured for him.
Why were instincts like this?
I shook my head at myself even as I stuffed another bite into my mouth. It made no sense that my biology urged me to make the alpha happy even when he was someone I was about to leave and never see again.
And the pain that thought brought made even less sense.
Good sex didn’t make up for being dangerous, and even if my instincts insisted he wasn’t, I’d heard his confession.
I’d even witnessed the violence he’d committed against the alphas who’d tried to kidnap me, but instead of being revolted, my body heated at the memory.
Clenching my legs together to hide the scent of my body’s continued betrayal, I sucked in a deep breath and pushed the plate away.
I’d finished over half the salad and most of the chicken, which was more than I usually ate.
My stomach had quieted, and the chime from down the hall said my clothes were done washing.
The sooner they were dry, the sooner I could make my escape.
Before I did something more foolish than accepting a strange alpha’s help through my heat.
When I placed my palms on the edge of the table to push myself back, the low growl that rumbled to life froze me in place. My eyes darted to Roderic’s, my heartbeat fluttering in my throat as I tried to figure out what I’d done wrong.
His green eyes bore into mine, his pupil flexing as his growl stuttered before cutting off. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed before speaking.
“You should eat more. Your body needs the fuel.”
I tried to ignore the tingle that ran through me. Just because his nature demanded that he made sure I was fed didn’t mean he actually cared, that was just my biology responding the way it was designed to.
“I’m—”
He cut me off with a jerk of his head before I could get out more than the first word.
“The chicken. Please. Finish the chicken at least. You need the protein.”
The words started out harsh and demanding, but he managed to ease out the last few as if it was actually a request and not a command.
His chest expanded on a deep inhale when I took hold of the fork again. It was the only sign that he seemed to be struggling as much as I was, but it still made warmth spread out from the center of my chest.
Stop it. He’s not your alpha. You’re never going to see him again.
It didn’t matter what I told myself, I still got a flood of happy hormones when I put another bite of chicken in my mouth. I told myself I needed to do as he asked so he would let me leave as he’d promised, and that was why it felt right to do what he wanted.
“I’ll be right back.”
I paused mid-chew when he rose from the table. It was only a few steps to the hallway where he disappeared, but I strained my ears until I heard the thump of something metal.
The washer.
The little snick of the dryer door followed, the sounds familiar even if his probably cost hundreds more than any machine I’d ever used.
He returned as I put the last bite in my mouth and set the fork on the plate, my stomach beginning to protest that I’d had more than enough. I hadn’t realized he’d already finished his entire plate until he lifted it and reached for mine, pausing before his fingers touched.
“Finished, Sweetheart?”
There was hope in his voice as if he wanted me to say no, but I couldn’t have forced anything else down my throat even if it would make him happier.
My gaze shifted, the bulge in his pants at eye level, making me think there was perhaps something else I could put in my mouth after all.
Turning away from temptation, I dipped my chin in a nod as I reached to take the plate myself, but his hand darted forward to grab it before I could.
I made a sound of protest since it seemed unfair that he had not only cooked his food for me but was also taking the dishes when I was perfectly capable of washing them.
“I’ve got it. Bring the glasses?”
Standing, I nodded again and finished my juice before reaching for his glass.
It wasn’t until I was following his broad shoulders back into the kitchen that I realized he was placating me, and while a part of me wanted to be irritated, I found myself not caring.
At least he’d thought about my feelings.
And wasn’t that a depressing thought, being happy that someone had given me a chore, just so I didn’t feel awkward and left out.
I was pathetic.
Roderic had cleaned as he worked, so there wasn’t anything for me to help with in the kitchen once I deposited the glasses on the counter beside the sink where he’d started scrubbing the skillet he’d used.
I would have searched for something to clean the counters with if I hadn’t suspected it was beneath where he was standing, or even a broom to sweep, although I doubted he would have let me.
But by the time I was done looking around for a task, he'd already finished the skillet and was rinsing the plates to place in the dishwasher.
“Do you need to contact your boss or anyone to let them know your heat is over?”
It was ridiculous how good Roderic looked standing in the middle of his kitchen, drying his hands on a dishtowel. With the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, it was almost enough to distract me from his question.
“No. We’re out for the summer.”
It might not have been the smartest idea to share that information. He already had a reason not to let me leave, and I’d just let him know no one would even notice if I didn’t return home.
Except maybe my cat, but she probably wouldn’t either with the way she ignored me.
At least not until her automatic feeder ran out, or if the faucet somehow stopped dripping.
Her preference for drinking from the sink was the excuse I used not to get the faucet fixed, even if the real reason was that I couldn’t afford to pay someone to do it and certainly didn’t have the skills to risk trying to do it myself.
“That must be nice. A three-month vacation, with pay, every year.”
I lifted one shoulder, watching him place the towel on the counter and feeling a strange sense of jealousy towards it. Hormones were weird.
“It’s more like two since we work for a week after the kids get out and return two weeks prior to prep for the new year. I’m usually just sitting at home though, so I kind of dread the summer.”
I had to hide my wince as I overshared again.
I wasn’t used to talking to people, and especially not about myself.
I’d been too shy and nerdy as a kid to make many friends, and it was even worse as an adult.
I never went anywhere besides work, and the others who worked in the office with me all seemed to have lives, so while we talked in our downtime, we didn’t have any contact outside the school.
“I’ve never been one to sit at home much. Even if I had, there was always people at our place, but I was usually off with Leo once we were old enough to give our parents the slip.”
My attention caught on the name. Half of me was worried it was another bit of information I’d be better off not knowing, while the other was too curious for her own good.
Was Leo the one who I’d overheard?
My heart rate increased again as Roderic walked towards me. Tangling my fingers together in front of me to keep from fidgeting, I held my breath and kept my eyes locked on his, wondering if I was about to learn that caring, considerate Roderic was just a mask.
“Do you have a car?”
I stared up at him, dumbstruck. He’d stopped a polite distance in front of me, maybe slightly closer than someone would with a stranger, and the simple question threw a wrench into my spiraling thoughts.
“I, uh…”
It took a minute to restart my brain, and when it did I shook off the spell he seemed to put me under every time he looked at me.
“Crap.”
I’d forgotten my car was still sitting outside Adam’s apartment. He didn’t live somewhere that required a parking permit so I wasn’t worried it would have been towed, but I’d have to alter my plans from taking the bus straight home.
“What’s wrong?”
When I focused on Roderic again, I realized he’d tensed, his expression turning as if he expected to be attacked at any moment.
Or as if he might need to fight someone, the way he had to protect me.
The memory was fuzzy from pain and panic, but I suddenly remembered him leaving me in the car and returning to the stairs. He’d gone up and disappeared through the hallway we’d come from, and while he hadn’t been gone long, I had no idea what he’d done.
The warmth he inspired was replaced with cold dread as I pictured finding an article about three dead alphas found on Adam’s floor of his apartments. I had to remind myself I’d heard Roderic and whoever he was talking to say injuries, not bodies, had been found on another floor.
After Roderic admitted to killing two people somewhere else in the building.
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. I’d known I had overheard things I shouldn’t, but it hadn’t sunk in that the man standing in front of me was a murderer. That he’d taken lives literally minutes before coming down the stairs and saving me.
And that thought pulled me back from the edge. How could someone kill a person one minute, then rescue a stranger the next?
Was it because I was a woman?
An omega?
Or because I’d been in heat?
My head started throbbing and I raised my hand to press between my eyebrows.
“Paige?”
I was pretty sure it was the first time he’d used my name, and while I was still confused over how to feel about the alpha standing before me, I didn’t fight when his fingers circled my wrist and pulled my hand away so he could meet my gaze.
“I just remembered I left my car at the apartments where you found me.”
My voice was soft, all I could manage with my head pounding and my irritation with myself. A normal person would be disgusted by his touch if they knew he’d killed people, but it still sent a shiver down my spine and warmth spreading from the contact.
What was wrong with me? Was I that desperate?
I slammed a door on that before I could answer myself. The concerned expression on Roderic’s features made him look softer, not like someone who could take a life, even if the tattoos peeking beneath his sleeves hinted at a darker side.
“Does your head hurt, Sweetheart?”
It was impossible to ignore the way my insides melted. Most people wouldn’t have bothered to ask even if they’d noticed, especially in the middle of talking about something else, but he was already moving across the kitchen again before I had the chance to do more than part my lips.
“A little.”
There was no reason to deny it. He’d already taken out a clean glass and filled it from the fridge and was reaching above the appliance for something. Whatever he grabbed rattled, but the bottle was engulfed by his hand, and I couldn’t see the label.
“Here.”
He thrust the glass at me before opening the bottle and shaking out two pills. They looked like normal pain relievers, but a smarter person would have asked to see what kind they were before taking medicine from a virtual stranger.
A stranger who had a reason to do me harm.
I’d already proven I wasn’t smart.
Taking a swig of the water, I tipped my head back and dropped in the pills he’d placed in my palm. Swallowing, I grimaced at the feel of them squeezing down my throat, and chased them with more water.
If he was drugging me, I guessed I deserved it.